He stepped from the car. “I, um…” Why did seeing her drive all other thoughts from his head?
She glanced behind him, and her eyes narrowed as they focused on him. “Are those boxes in your car yours?” Without waiting for an answer, she plunged on. “You took our delivery. I thought you didn’t believe in herbal medicines. Why did you take them?”
Kyle was uncertain which question to answer first, but she gave him no chance to explain.
Sucking in a breath, Leah put her hands on her hips. “You took them so we couldn’t sell them, didn’t you? You planned to destroy them.”
Kyle held up a hand, but he couldn’t stop Leah’s words.
“I know you think they don’t work as well as your medicines, but are you trying to bankrupt our family? Daed paid a lot of money for them. Please let us have them back.”
“Leah,” Kyle said, managing to wedge a word into her nonstop accusations. “Wait a minute. You’re not being fair here. You haven’t let me answer even one question. Let me explain.”
“Fine.” Leah pinched her lips together, but her eyes still condemned him.
“Earlier today Esther Hess asked me to come by to pick up a few things.” Kyle reached into his pocket and pulled out the wrinkled list.
“Like you’d agree to come to a natural products store for anything.”
“Leah?” He used a low, sharp tone. “Are you going to let me tell you?”
“Sorry,” she muttered, and she remained silent as he described the delivery and how he had rescued the boxes.
“You did it to help us?” Leah appeared to be struggling to accept his version of the story. “But, but—”
Kyle couldn’t help being a little hurt. “You don’t believe I’m capable of doing something nice?”
“No, I mean, yes. Of course you are. I just didn’t expect you to do it for me.”
“Why?”
Most of the fight leaked out of her, and her words, when they came, were tinged with sadness. “I thought you hated me and everything I stand for.”
“I don’t hate you.” Quite the opposite. “Just because I disagree with you about treating patients doesn’t mean I’d let that affect what I do. You wouldn’t hold a grudge like that, would you?”
“Of course not.”
“But you thought I’d be petty enough to destroy your merchandise?”
“I’m so sorry. I do have a bad habit of jumping to conclusions. Please forgive me.”
Kyle nodded. “Now, do you want me to bring the boxes in?”
Leah hung her head. “This is my fault.” She headed toward the car. “You don’t have to carry them in. I’ll take care of it. You’ve done enough already.”
“Now we’re going to argue over who carries in the boxes, and meanwhile they’ll all explode if they’re out in the cold any longer.”
Leah burst out laughing. “I told you I’m argumentative.”
“No, you didn’t. You said you jump to conclusions.”
Leah reached the car door before Kyle. “I do both, and I’m also stubborn.” She yanked the door open and grabbed a box.
“Maybe you’ve met your match.” Kyle reached in and hefted two boxes. “Because I’m not going to let you do this alone.”
After Leah hung her battery-powered lantern in the store so they could see, they unloaded the car in silence, with Kyle bringing in two or three boxes for every one of Leah’s. Twice, he noticed her bend over and wince.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “I can get the rest of the boxes if these are too heavy for you.”
Leah crossed her arms over her stomach and turned away from him. She sounded as though she were speaking through clenched teeth. “I’m fine.”
Kyle wasn’t sure whether or not to believe her. She slowed down, made several stops, and bent over with her hands gripping the boxes when she thought he wasn’t looking. He unloaded the boxes even faster to keep her from having to do so much when she appeared to be in pain.
He walked through the door with the last two boxes to find her hunched over, her eyes squeezed shut. The minute the door jangled shut behind him, she forced herself to a standing position and managed a stiff smile.
“You’re hurting.” He could be as stubborn as she was, and he refused to take her denials as truth when his practiced eye had detected a problem.
Leah waved a hand to brush away his concerns. “I’ll be fine.” Her cheeks, already rosy from the cold, deepened to scarlet.
He had a suspicion about what was wrong. If he guessed right, she’d never admit it to him as a man and an Englischer. “Do you want me to help you unpack the boxes?” He hated to leave her alone to cope with all these cartons.
“No, no, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Kyle racked his brain for an excuse to stay longer. “It’s pretty chilly outside. Would it be all right if I wait until my hands warm up?”
Leah looked as if she wanted to say no, but she said, “Certainly. I should have”—she took a deep breath—“asked if you wanted…some tea or coffee…to drink.” A quick indrawn breath revealed she was fighting a sharp pang.
He disliked asking her to do anything when she’d be better off in bed, but he wanted to keep an eye on her. “Tea would be great.” That would give him time to see if he’d diagnosed her correctly.
Chapter Eleven
Leah turned her back so Kyle couldn’t see her face scrunch up as the hot stabbing inside her sent needles radiating through her. If only she’d taken that supplement earlier, it would have reduced some of the aching. That needed to be taken after a meal, though, and she hadn’t eaten since lunchtime. One of the herbal blends she made for the shop helped to lessen her discomfort. She’d drink some of that, but what could she offer Kyle?
She forced herself not to wince as she pushed out words. “I have a mixture of calming herbs for tea, if you’d like that?”
“That would be fine.”
He sounded less than enthusiastic, but she didn’t offer any other options. She had to have her own tea as soon as possible. She also needed to get away from him and into the kitchen.
Biting back groans, she limped down the aisle as quickly as she could, lifted the lid of one of the jars, measured out a precise amount of the herbal blend, and staggered into the kitchen. She turned on the gas lamp, then leaned over and pressed her stomach hard against the sink edge as she filled the kettle. After she put the kettle on the burner of the propane stove, she went into the living room to curl up around some pillows. A hot water bottle usually helped, but she’d wait until Kyle left to huddle up with its soothing warmth.
When the water was ready, she made herself a cup and took a few sips before turning out the lamp and carrying the two mugs out to the store, where Kyle was prowling the aisles. She hoped the sips of tea would give her enough relief to carry on a conversation.
Kyle settled on a stack of boxes and studied her intently while he sipped his tea. His eyebrows rose, and he took another drink. “Hey, this is pretty good.”
Leah pushed her lips into a semblance of a smile. “Thanks. I’m hoping to sell that calming blend in the store.”
“It tastes good, but I’ll let you know if it works.”
“My friend Ada said it did, but I’d be glad for other opinions.” Especially his. If he liked it, after how critical he’d been of her other herbal remedies, she’d know it was good enough to sell in the store.
“I promise to be honest.”
No doubt he would be. He certainly hadn’t shied away from expressing his opinion on any of her other herbal concoctions.
“I can’t believe how cold it is outside,” Kyle said. “I really appreciate the tea and the chance to thaw out. Why don’t you sit down too?”
Leah started toward the stack of boxes he’d indicated near him. Partway there, her insides felt as if they were being attacked by a pickax. All she wanted to do was hunch into a ball and moan. Her eyes welled with tears, and she turned to hide them from Kyle. Leaning against the c
ounter, she pretended to look for a pen.
To defend herself against his intense stare, Leah forced out an explanation between the attacks inside her body. “I need to…write down…the amount I took…from the jar. We deduct personal use…from inventory.” The jabbing decreased slightly, but her eyes filmed over again as she jotted down the amount on the tablet near the register.
“Look at me,” Kyle commanded.
When she ignored him, he stood and stepped around the edge of the counter until he could see her face. Leah ducked her head and concentrated on forming numbers despite the pain shooting through her.
Putting a gentle finger under her chin, Kyle tilted her face up until he looked directly into her eyes. “Are those tears? You’re hurting. I can see it in your face.”
Leah tried to turn away, but he cupped her face in his hands and continued to examine her. “Where does it hurt? Did you pull something when you lifted those heavy boxes?”
“No, no.” She couldn’t explain to a man, an Englischer, no less, about her severe cramps. The very thought made her cheeks burn.
“You’re flushed too,” Kyle said. “Do you have a fever?” He laid his hand against her forehead.
“No, please,” Leah begged, unsure whether she wanted him to remove his hand or continue touching her. Ben had never touched her like this. Their hands had brushed from time to time, and once he’d helped her down from the wagon so she’d avoid a large muddy spot, but Kyle’s gentle fingers created strange sensations that zinged through her, making her pulse gallop. Could he hear her thumping heartbeat? She had to get away before she did something foolish.
With a quick jerk, Leah untangled herself from his fingers, but the warmth and tingling he’d started continued even after she stepped back. “Do you…um, want another cup of tea?” Making one would allow her to flee to the kitchen.
“I haven’t finished the one I have.”
Leah moved even farther away, though part of her longed to step closer. “I want another cup.” She picked up her partly filled teacup and lurched toward the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t notice her unsteady gait.
Feeling her way around in the dark, she added some warm water from the kettle to her cup and walked back out to the store, where Kyle stood by the shelves of glass jars. If he figured out which one she’d used, he’d realize why she was in pain.
* * *
Kyle started. He hadn’t heard Leah come into the shop. Tearing his gaze from the glass jars on the lower shelf, he pretended to study the array of vitamins at eye level. That reminded him. He still had Esther’s list stuffed in his pocket.
“Would it be all right for me to get the things Esther needs?” He hoped the question would distract her from what he’d been doing.
“I’ve already closed out the cash register for today, but if they’re putting it on their bill, I can record it as a sale for tomorrow.”
“Yes, Esther said it’s to go on their personal account.”
Leah headed to the aisle where he was standing, her gait steadier than it had been when she’d walked away. Maybe the tea did help. He planned to look up the effects of some of the ingredients when he had a chance. Mentally, he went over the long list. Black cohosh, raspberry leaf, burdock root, slippery elm…
“Maybe I can help you find things more quickly.” Leah almost brushed his elbow as she reached for the list.
With her standing so near, the rest of the ingredients disappeared from his mind. He forced himself to repeat the name of the tea to control his racing pulse. Female Disorders. The name had confirmed his suspicions. Now he had to find a way to talk to her about her problems without making her uncomfortable.
She stretched past him to take a vitamin bottle from the shelf, and her sleeve whispered past his face, setting off a cascade of emotions—a longing for closeness, for caring, for a loving relationship. Why did this woman who made him so irritated raise those desires? Perhaps his subconscious mind was confusing her with Emma. Kyle shook his head. No, every cell in his body recognized this was Leah.
“Are you sure?” Leah asked. “This is the kind the Hesses usually buy.”
“What?” Confused, Kyle looked at her. A big mistake. He drowned in those blue eyes. The smoky shadows between the shelves made the space feel intimate.
She broke their intense gaze but appeared flustered. “You shook your head, so I thought you disagreed with my choice.”
Shook my head? Oh, I was trying to clear thoughts of you. He tried to put together a coherent response. “No, give her whatever kind you think is best.”
Leah gave him a questioning look, and he schooled his face into a neutral expression, but he couldn’t control his reactions to her nearness. He relaxed a little when she moved to a different aisle. He longed to follow her, but that would be a mistake.
Using the large metal reflector at the front of the store, he followed her progress down the next aisle. As soon as she turned the corner and thought she was out of his sight, she winced. Several times she squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her forehead against the shelf. She must have incredible stamina, if she was suffering from what he believed she had.
Clenching her fists, she resumed hunting for products. Several times she disappeared from view when she moved down aisles the light didn’t illuminate. How did she manage to find things when she could barely see?
After she emerged from the last aisle, she headed for the counter. “I’ll ring this up tomorrow, but let me calculate a total for Esther.” She jotted prices beside the items on Esther’s list, then she punched numbers into the small battery-powered adding machine.
She sucked in her lower lip and clamped her teeth down on it. As much as he’d like to stay, he needed to let her rest.
Leah scribbled the product names next to the prices on the adding machine tape. Then she recorded the total on Esther’s list and handed it to Kyle along with the bag.
“Thank you,” he said. Now that he had the package, what excuse could he make to stay? To talk to her about her health?
Leah turned her back to reach for the lantern she’d hung overhead. Her signal it was time for him to exit?
A tiny whimper alerted him. Because she’d hunched over, the light was now out of her reach.
He set his bag on one of the stacks of boxes. “Let me help.” He hurried over and lifted the hook of the light to remove it from the ceiling. Instead of handing it to her, he set it on the counter and took her hands. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I’ve been studying medicine for years.”
Leah dipped her head, trying to hide her face. He longed to lift her chin again but restrained himself. If he did, he worried he might do something he’d regret. Instead he ran his fingers lightly over the back of her hands, intending to soothe her, but the softness of her skin combined with the darkness of the store made it hard to concentrate.
“I’m concerned about you. You’re in a lot of pain, although you’ve done a good job of pretending otherwise. Do you have this much pain every month?”
She hung her head even lower and mumbled, “Usually.”
“You don’t need to be embarrassed around me. Pretend I’m your doctor. Do you ever faint?”
Keeping her head down, she answered in a barely audible voice, “Only once or twice.”
“Do you get tired or nauseous?”
Her startled gaze flew to his face, then immediately she ducked her head. “Sometimes, but how did you know?”
As he ran down the list of symptoms, his certainty increased. “Leah, please look at me.” When she didn’t respond, he said, “Please?”
She lifted pain-glazed eyes, and when they stared at each other, Kyle realized he’d made a mistake. She appeared as mesmerized as he felt. Maybe it was the intimacy of being alone in the shadows with only the small circle of light surrounding them, spotlighting them. Maybe it was holding her small, soft hands trembling in his. Maybe it was his foolish heart longing for connection. But he never wanted to let go.
Outsi
de, a horse’s hooves clattered into the parking lot. Leah jumped, but Kyle didn’t let go of her hands. He needed to tell her something. Something important.
Act professional. He steeled himself against the urge to pull her into his arms. “This is only a preliminary diagnosis, but I think you should be checked for endometriosis.”
“What?” Leah jerked her hands from his as heavy boots clomped along the sidewalk outside.
“From your symptoms, I’m concerned you may have endometriosis. Your pain may be a symptom of that.”
She stared at him. “Are you sure?”
“As sure as I can be without an extensive checkup. Will you please make an appointment?”
The door banged open, sending the bells into a jangled frenzy that matched Kyle’s nerves.
“Promise me,” he said.
But she’d turned toward the door, and her face blanched.
* * *
“Ben! What are you doing here this time of night?” The shock in her voice made her sound less than welcoming. Leah corrected her mistake. “I’m glad to see you.”
Kyle backed away from her as Ben approached, fire in his eyes. “I’ll just get Dr. Hess’s bag and go,” Kyle said. “Thank you for getting these items for them.”
Ben’s narrowed gaze followed Kyle’s rapid stride to the stack of boxes holding the bag. Ben blew out a breath when the door closed behind the Englischer.
Dizziness overtook Leah. Between the severe cramps, Ben’s sudden arrival and clenched jaw, Kyle’s diagnosis and his departure…
She plopped down on the nearest pile of boxes and put her head in her hands until the nausea and swirling grayness subsided. Then, clutching the edges of the box until her fingers hurt, she eased her eyes open. The world still whirled around her. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed with a hot water bottle. She’d expended so much energy trying to act normal around Kyle that she had little left. And his suggested diagnosis had been a bombshell. But she couldn’t exactly ask Ben to leave, considering the way they left things.
Ben stood with his back to her, clutching his suspenders the way he did when he was agitated, watching Kyle pull out of the parking lot. He didn’t turn around until the car turned onto the highway and the growl of the engine faded into the distance.
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