I can see the sorrow on his face as he tells me the story of what brought us to this point. The missing piece that I did not even know was gone. “I watched you, but not like I was meant to. I relied on others too much to keep you safe. I kept more distance than I should have, knowing that if you were in any real danger, I would feel it. That night I felt you, but I had gotten into a fight with my father over my destiny. I wanted to punish you for making me weak, though now I realize none of this was your fault. I felt you. Your fear...your regret, but it wasn’t until I felt your pain that I went to you.”
This time it is Jaxon that sheds a tear, and I can only stare as it rolls slowly down his face. I know what he is going to say next, and I do not know if I can handle hearing it.
“Your friend....she was already dead when I got there. I could not save her,” he says sadly, looking at his feet like they somehow hold the answers to the universe. He chokes over his words, and I wonder is it sorrow or guilt that causes him to stutter.
“DID YOU EVEN TRY!” I scream, hitting him in the chest as hard as I can. “DID YOU!” I cry as I hit him again and again. He makes no move to stop me as I take all of my pent-up anger out on him.
He was there! A freaking guardian angel, and he still let her die. I hate him! I absolutely hate him!
“You don’t understand,” he says as he grabs my fist and pulls me into him. His eyes beg me to listen, and for some reason I do. “I couldn’t save her. Even if I would have been there the entire time Maci, I could not have saved Ashlee. She wasn’t my charge. It was her time to go. Her name was written in the book. She was not meant to be saved, but you....you were not meant to die.”
“Screw the rules Jaxon! She was my best friend!” I yell, angry and frustrated and sad all at once.
“I know that, and I am sorry. Sorrier than you will ever know, but the rules cannot be broken. To Angels rules are law, and to break them is to lose your wings.”
I swallow my anger, knowing that it is unfair of me to expect Jaxon to have done something like that for someone that he didn’t know. Didn’t love. He didn’t love Ashlee....I did.
“Sorry....” I whisper, as most of my anger gives way to sadness. A deep-rooted sadness that lives where my heart once did.
“No...It is I that am sorry. I failed Maci. You were not meant to die that night, but I was too late. You died, and I did break a rule. A very big one....”
“For you....”
I....I died? That can’t be right? The fact that I am breathing right now is proof of that. Unless....
“Jaxon? What did you do?” I whisper, looking into his eyes and not knowing how I didn’t see it before. He cares about me.
“I fused your soul to mine, and used my power to awaken your angelic nature. You are a Nephilim Maci. Nephilim are not meant to have power...to have wings, but your humanity was already gone, and I had to save you. I gave you my light, and activated your angelic side. That is why you lived. Why you had no injuries. Why you are here. I told no one, but mother...she suspects. Afterall, never has there been a Nephilim without humanity until you. In every way that counts, you are one hundred percent angel. You have our powers, our blood, and our light. Don’t you see? That is why they will come for you. You Maci....you are the first Nephilim to ever turn into a pure-blooded angel.”
“What...what does that mean?” I ask, fearing that my life just got a whole new level of crazy.
“It means that no one can ever know Maci. No one,” he says, and the seriousness in his voice lets me know that the consequences of anyone finding out would be deadly for us both.
“It has never been done before, so I have no idea what would happen if the council found out,” he says seriously. “My guess....they would kill us.” The way he says it, without hesitation, makes it painfully clear that he is telling the truth. That if his elders find out about us...we are both dead.
“Ok. I won’t tell Jaxon. I promise. No one will ever know.”
“Know what my dear?” A new voice says from thin air. Wanda Worthington appears from the shadows, looking as deadly and cold as ever. I jump, alarmed by her sudden appearance. Jaxon’s hands steady me, and I almost shit myself when his voice whispers in my head.
“Don’t freak out, and don’t try to answer me. You can’t...at least not yet. She can’t hear me. I can talk to you this way because we are connected. It is a Moirai thing. I will explain later. Right now, look natural, and for once trust me. Please....”
I almost nod my head, but then remember that I am not supposed to be able to hear him. So instead I turn my attention to the queen bitch in question. She is in a white linen pants suite, and her hair is pulled back in a tight bun, making her already sharp angles look severe.
“Hello mother. Looks like you found us. I was just trying to convince Maci here to not tell anyone that I talked her into skipping with me today, but oops.. looks like you busted us.” I almost laugh at how angelic Jaxon’s voice becomes. I mean hello! Can she not tell that he is totally laying on the sugar sweet guilty voice?
Then I witness the strangest thing that I have seen all day, and that is saying something considering. Wanda Worthington smiles.
Has the world ended, because I did not know that she was capable of such facial movements?
“Really Jaxon,” she chides, but her voice is a lot kinder than I expect it to be. Teasing almost. “It was her first day! Could you try to set a good example? Very well. I will let it go, this time. Next time I will have no choice son. You cannot push me in front of others and expect to get away with it. I cannot bend the rules for you. I won’t. Now, take Maci back to her dorm, and stay out of trouble.” Then she vanishes just as quickly as she appeared.
“Yes ma’am,” Jaxon says to the empty air as he takes my hand and leads me back to my dorm. We don’t talk on the way back, both of us too afraid to voice all of the things that we need to say. Too afraid that she will hear us. That she already did.
Tomorrow. I will talk to him again tomorrow.
∞
~Chapter 7~
C.J. is dead to the world when Jaxon drops me back at my dorm room, and I am slightly disappointed. My crazy roomie is quickly growing on me, and I am bursting at the seams to talk to someone about today.
Well.....at least the parts of it that I can talk about.
I think that it is safe to assume that if C.J. is here, that she must be an angel. I take a moment to study her, laughing quietly at her fuzzy socks that look like chicken feet. She really is strange, which makes me like her even more. This world is full of carbon copies. People that try so hard to be like other people. It is refreshing to meet someone who just embraces who they are.
I tip toe quietly to my bed, trying my best not to wake her. I have just taken a seat when a groan rings out from the other side of the room.
“Oh for heaven sake,” C.J. says, throwing off her covers and practically flinging herself on top of me. The sudden impact of her weight knocking me back into the soft mattress. She laughs softly as she pulls me into a hug, that feels comforting in a weird sort of way.
“Ummmm C.J.,” I say with a hint of laughter. “Why are you wrapped around me like a baby octopus?”
“Crap....sorry,” she drawls in her southern twang as she reaches down and pulls me to a sitting position. Her cheeks tint slightly pink as she places a little bit more distance between us. “I was just worried was all,” she says picking at the sleeve of her very flannel shirt.
This time it is my turn to apologize. There is a part of me that wants to tell her everything. That begs to spill every secret and hurt that has haunted me since the moment that Ashlee died. A deep seeded desire to let someone in....to let someone care. To put a crack in the wall that I have carefully built around my heart since that awful night. I want to trust C.J., I really...really do, but the simple truth is that I can’t. How can I trust anyone else, when I can’t even trust my own heart?
Plus, no matter how big the desire to let her in is, the desi
re to protect Jaxon is bigger. It encompasses me. Which I still don’t understand? Why do I suddenly care so much about someone that I barely even like?
I smile to myself. My cold heart thawing just slightly at her worried expression. I must admit, it is nice to have someone that cares again. That’s why I hate shutting her out. “It’s cool...really. You just startled me. That’s all.” I explain, hoping that she can hear the sincerity in my voice.
“Sorry,” she says again, this time with a soft laugh. “It’s just that you disappeared on me, and well.....when folks disappear around here, it isn’t good.”
Great! Now I feel like absolute crap for lying to her! Stupid Lux brothers! I don’t know why I feel the need to protect them? I don’t even know them. I don’t owe them a damn thing.
Well....except for Jaxon. He kind of saved my life by fusing our souls together. So yeah...I guess technically I do owe him.....a little.
Jaxon..... Uhhhh! That name pisses me off! I know...I know... I should be grateful, and I am.... sort of. It is just that if what he says is true, he could have saved Ashlee. He could have spared me from so much pain. He is the absolute last person that I should feel any kind of loyalty to, but something makes me stay quiet about him.
Something bigger than my broken heart.
“No worries girl. I am the one who should apologize. I......” I pause, trying to think of a believable lie.
My heart rate kicks into overdrive as I try to come up with something that she will believe. I am just starting to feel the icy fingers of panic when his voice soothes away the tension.
“Tell her you ditched princess.”
Holy hell on a cracker! Jaxon Lux just spoke...into my mind! Again! WTF! My eyes do a quick sweep of the room, but just as I feared C.J. and I are the only ones here. Which means that he can do that from a distance. Well hell. That is going to get annoying!
Not able to think of a better lie, I quickly tell her exactly what he said. I can tell that she doesn’t buy it, not one hundred percent anyway, but she doesn’t call me on my lie.
Bonus friend points. Sometimes you know your friends are being full of it, but you let them be. Not because you want them to lie to you, but because you recognize that they need to. That the lie serves a purpose, and that when they can, they will tell you what that purpose is.
C.J. just earned about five hundred bonus friend points.
Her dark eyebrow goes up in question as a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth. “Skipping on the first day....that is sorta badass,” she says pushing herself up and making her way to her side of the room.
“Not really,” I whisper, bending down to take off my shoes. Shoes discarded, I start to peel myself out of my stiff uniform. I have just undone the top button on my shirt when a thought occurs to me.
“Jax?” I call silently, wondering if this weird connection works both ways. A few minutes pass, but silence is my only answer. I roll my eyes at my own stupidity, before going back to undressing.
I don’t know whether to be grateful or disappointed. Truthfully, I am a little of both. I don’t love the idea of him being in my head, but I do like the idea of him being close. The comfort of knowing that for the first time in a long time, I am not alone. Loneliness has been my only constant since Ashlee died, and it would be nice to have a new companion. To escape the personal prison that is my mind.
“Night Maci,” C.J. calls out as her light flicks off, washing the room in darkness.
“Night,” I whisper back, but I am not sure that she hears. My soft whisper drowned out by her snore. I shake my head in silent laughter, amazed that she fell asleep so quickly. I reach up, making quick work of discarding the rest of my itchy school uniform. I let out a sigh of contentment as I snuggle under the ugly yellow covers in nothing but my black lace bra and matching thong.
I feel the familiar pull of sleepiness as it softly pulls me under, and I try desperately to follow. To rid my mind of all thoughts of darkness, and death, and angels, and simply float into a peaceful slumber.
I am just about there when his raspy voice filters through the fogginess of my sleep induced mind. His sexy timbre the balm the calms the storm that rages inside of my aching soul.
“You’ll never be alone again princess. I promise. Now sleep.”
His words fill me with purpose, and warmth, and something much deeper that I am in equal parts terrified and excited to explore.
And for the first time since Ashlee’s death.......
I fall asleep smiling.
∞
I awake the next morning to a loud obnoxious banging on my door. I cover my head with my pillow as I groan out my frustration. Mornings.....I hate mornings, and the only thing I hate more than morning is dealing with people in the morning.
“Uuuuhhhh,” I whine into my surprisingly soft pillow. “Make it stop....please make it stop.”
The banging climbs in intensity moments before his smoky laugh filters through. Frustrated that my sleep is now ruined and slightly irritated that my roommate sleeps like the dead, I throw my covers off in a huff as I stomp my way to the door. A quick glance at C.J.’s side of the room reveals that she isn’t sleeping, she is just gone. A pink post-it note is taped to her vanity mirror, and with great effort I force the sleepiness from my eyes so that I can make out the words.
Had an early class and didn’t want to wake you.
P.S. You talk in your sleep..... It’s kinda weird C.J
I crumple up the note, laughing that C.J. would call me weird. I mean hello.....pot...kettle.
“Bang....BANG...BANG!!! My temper spikes at the irritating repetitive banging and I stomp my way to the door, ready to rain hell on Jaxon for daring to wake me at....wait? What time is it?
My eyes search out the clock, and I nearly have a coronary when the flashing neon display alerts me that it is 6:00 am.
Someone better be dead, because me and 6 am do not go together at all.
I throw open the door, ready to kill him. His hand is raised mid-knock and when his eyes meet mine, they flash with a different kind of heat. A flame of desire that no one has ever looked at me with before. His pupils dilate until all that I can see is black, and his Adams apple bobs with effort as he tries to clear his suddenly dry throat.
“Princess,” he smirks as those sinful eyes leave mine, scorching a fiery trail down my body. I swear, I can almost feel his touch as his eyes start at the top of my head and slowly work their way down to my naked toes.
Shit! Naked!
My hands fly up in a lame attempt to cover myself as my severely sleep deprived and under-caffeinated brain suddenly remembers that I am standing here in nothing but a black lacy bra and a matching thong.
A laugh, more real than I have heard from him before, slips free from Jaxon as he slowly turns his back to me. Even though I want to be embarrassed, to crawl under my bed and hide, I find myself fighting a laugh as well. There is just something about Jaxon in this moment... something so free, that my embarrassment seems such a small price to pay for that laugh. I think I would embarrass myself a million times over just to hear it again. Just to know that I caused it.
“Sorry,” I stammer as I make a mad dash into my closet. I would kill for a shower, but something tells me this isn’t a social call. So, I search the rack, finding my lovely school issued uniform and throwing it on. When I emerge from the safety of the closet, Jaxon has made himself at home on my bed.
I am not going to lie. I like him there...probably a little too much.
I swallow heavily, drinking in the sight of him sitting on my bed, and trying my best to push away all the very X rated thoughts that accompany that visual. His legs are spread wide, and he is leaning back like he doesn’t have a care in the world. His white dress shirt is rolled to his elbows, and his muscular forearms and chest are on display for my viewing pleasure. His tie hangs loosely around his neck, but he made no effort to actually tie it. The whole look is equal parts messy and put together, and it does something t
o me that I can’t explain.
Yep...Jaxon Lux is a bad boy with an angelic side, and I......
I am royally screwed, because even though I know I shouldn’t want him, every part of me does. I have never really been good at self-denial.
“Please, by all means, make yourself at home.” I tease as I sit down beside him and pull on my trusty heels. I smile as my feet slide into them, finding comfort in having something from my life before all this craziness took over.
“Ohhh. I plan on it Princess,” he says as he pushes himself up and twist so that he can see my face. He opens his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off. I am tired, and hungry. I need a shower, and a toothbrush. So....whatever he came to say I need him to say it. He may be hot as hell, but that doesn’t matter. I can’t forget who he is....what he is. There are a million things I need from Jaxon Lux, but this attraction can’t be one of them.
The sad truth is, I don’t fit in his world. Hell, most days I am not so sure that I fit into anyone’s world. If it wasn’t his job to protect me, Jaxon Lux wouldn’t even know my name. So no. I will not be distracted by his hotness, because to him this is all just a game. A job. To me, this is life. It is real, and I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn’t survive loving someone like Jaxon Lux. Not after everything. Love may be great, but the part that no one tells you. The part that they so conveniently leave out, is that love ends. It always ends, and the person that is left behind is more broken than when they began. I have been that person, and I can never allow myself to be that person again.
“Maci?” Jaxon’s worried voice filters through the heaviness of my thoughts, pulling me to the surface before I can fully slip under. I snap my head to him, trying my best to give him my undivided attention. Waiting...always waiting for doubt to slowly release me from her deadly grip. His thundercloud eyes study me, as I slowly blink away a stray tear that has gathered in the corner of my eye.
Hillcrest Academy Page 6
