“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“If I ever make you uncomfortable, I hope—”
“It’s okay. Really. We’re friends, and we both understand that. Neither of us are looking for more.”
Okay… My heart sank, and it took a moment to recover from that statement. She didn’t want more with me. Had I read her all wrong? Perhaps she still saw me as her high school bully and couldn’t envision a future with me.
After that conversation, we didn’t say anything else until we arrived at a nearby pizza parlor. We went inside and ordered two large pizzas and then took it to go once it was ready. I drove to a park not far away, and then we got out of the car and found a picnic table to set the pizzas on.
The park was quiet except for the sound of birds chirping in the trees and the light wind sweeping through the leaves. A light breeze moved through Maya’s long brown hair, carrying the scent of something fruity. I handed her a plate and napkins and motioned for her to dig in. She opened one of the boxes and lifted out a piece of pepperoni pizza.
An uneasy sensation washed through me as I considered her earlier statement about neither of us looking for more, and I was tempted to tell her how I felt, putting all my cards on the table. That would be a calculated risk, and I wasn’t ready to accept the negative consequences that might arise from a discussion like that.
Instead, I diverted the conversation another way. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question. Why are you afraid of doctors?”
Her eyebrows flew up, and she glanced away momentarily. “Answering that will open up a whole can of worms.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded, chewing on a piece of pizza, glancing down at her plate. “I don’t generally talk about this with people, but since you opened up with me about your dad…”
“Look, you don’t have to share just because I opened up with you. Just know that if you want to talk about it, I’m here and I care.”
She smiled, and it was a genuine smile that would melt even the coldest of hearts. Even a heart like mine. “Thank you, Easton. I know you care, and it’s not a big deal. I can tell you.”
I put a piece of pizza on my plate and nodded. “I’m glad you feel comfortable telling me.”
“My aunt and grandmother both died of breast cancer, and while Mom hasn’t shown any signs yet, I guess I’ve always worried that will be my fate one day.”
I nodded slowly, considering that for a moment. “I can see how that might concern you, but it doesn’t mean—”
“It doesn’t mean I’ll get cancer too. I understand that. But phobias can be irrational at times. And there’s one other thing.” She glanced down, the color draining from her face.
“What?” A gut feeling told me she was about to share a part of her life she didn’t talk about often.
“When I was sixteen, my health started to decline. I slept a lot and didn’t feel well most of the time. I missed a lot of school and my parents suspected I had mononucleosis or something like that, so they took me to the doctor. We all thought the doctor would tell me to eat a healthier diet and get more exercise, but we were sadly mistaken. It had nothing to do with that.” She hesitated and licked her lips, nervously.
I kept my gaze trained on her, not wanting to miss a word of what she was telling me. “Go on.”
“He ordered some tests, and when the results came in, he called my mom and told her my kidney function wasn’t normal. He referred us to a nephrologist who then ordered more tests.” She smiled grimly. “He said I had chronic kidney disease, and although it was in the early stages, I would have to get a kidney transplant one day. He said it wasn’t a matter of if I would need the transplant, but a matter of when. Guess that knowledge is always in the back of my mind. It’s why I needed better medical insurance. Why I took the job with you when…” She trailed off.
“When you couldn’t stand the thought of working with me.” My jaw tightened, and I felt sick to my stomach, hating that I didn’t know this from the beginning. If I had, I would’ve ditched the training session with Darren Finley so I didn’t miss the appointment with her new doctor. I should have been there for her.
“Yes, initially I wasn’t looking forward to working with you, but it was a necessary evil.” She winced and placed a hand at her chin. “I didn’t mean it that way. I…I don’t view you in a negative light anymore. We’re way past that.”
“I hope so.” I reached across the table and took her hand, holding it firmly in my own. “Anything you need…anything at all. All you have to do is ask.”
She laughed and pulled her hand away. “Got a kidney to spare?” She paused for a moment and then rushed to speak. “I was totally kidding. You know that, right? I would never ask for your kidney.”
I didn’t know what to say. Even if she had meant it as a joke, how did one reply to something like that?
“I’m so sorry,” she said hurriedly. “I shouldn’t have joked. Honestly, I wasn’t serious. Forget I said it. You probably wouldn’t be a match, anyway.” She put a hand over her face and shook her head as if embarrassed. “Leave it to me to make the moment awkward.”
I pulled her hand away from her face and held on to it, waiting until she made eye contact with me. “Hey, stop worrying. You didn’t make it awkward. I knew you were joking, and it helps to make light of the situation. I get that.” I rested our joined hands on the table but was unwilling to let go. “I’m glad you shared this with me. It means a lot that you trusted me enough to share it. Now I know how to pray for you.”
She pressed her lips in a straight line, but they tilted up slightly at the edges as if in appreciation. Her eyes moistened with tears. “Thank you. I can use all the prayer I can get.”
I may have been new in my faith, but I’d had my father’s example my entire life, and I’d seen the way he faced adversity. “I’m not very good at this, but can I pray for you right now?”
She nodded, gratitude showing in her expression. “That would be nice.”
We bowed our heads and closed our eyes, and I paused for several moments, not sure what words to use. Dad used to say that it didn’t matter how well you articulated a prayer. The main thing was reaching out to the Lord and having a right heart before Him.
Lord, thank you for bringing Maya into my life. She is quickly becoming someone I care deeply about. You’re aware of her kidney function issues and know what her needs are. Please provide for her and restore her health.
I was about to end the prayer when I felt led to add one more thing. And Lord, if there’s any way I can help Maya, please show me what that is. Amen.
We both glanced up, and a smile stretched across her face. “Thank you, Easton. That meant a lot to me.” She looked down at our joined hands, and her smile widened. She didn’t protest or try to pull away, and it felt as if nothing bad could touch us in this moment. As if the Lord was there, smiling down on us. “God is in control of this whole situation,” she said. “I just have to learn to trust Him more.”
I squeezed her hand and let out a breath. “I’m learning that too. There are so many things in my life that have to change.” I told her about the homeless man that I had passed while jogging and that God had convicted me that I needed to reach out to him. “I was able to give him the five-hundred that you gave back to me, but more than that, I called a few contacts and got him into a shelter that offers training in job skills and assistance with finding work. I also set up a savings account with a good deal of money he can access. He has everything he needs.”
Maya’s face lit up, and she sat forward, resting her elbows on the table. I was still holding her hand, and I took it as a positive sign that she wasn’t pulling away. “Easton, that’s amazing. It makes me so happy to hear what God is doing in your life.” She looked at me with a curious smile. “It’s weird, you know? How one day you can think someone is your enemy and the next…”
“They’re your best friend.” The words just slid out of my mouth without any
thought, but it was the truth. We hadn’t been friends long, but I’d never felt this comfortable or able to share my heart with anyone before.
She lifted an eyebrow and flashed a lopsided smile. “I’m your best friend now?”
I winked. “Who says I was talking about you? There’s this other person I know…” I didn’t get to finish that statement before she laughed and picked up a napkin and threw it at me playfully.
“Oh, that really wounded me,” I said, smirking. I pulled the napkin off my arm and waved it in the air to show her how light it was. “You’ll have to do a lot better than that if you want to leave a dent.”
She shook her head, grinning. “You’re crazy. You know that, right?”
Yes, I was crazy. Crazy in love with her.
My eyebrows flew up at the thought.
I was in love.
With Maya.
I’d never been in love before.
But it was true.
I couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t push it away or pretend it wasn’t real because it was more real than anything I’d ever experienced before, except coming to faith in Christ.
What did I do now?
Chapter 20
Maya
When Saturday morning rolled around, I was on Easton overload. We’d had dinner together every night this week, and, frankly, I was overwhelmed. It wasn’t that I needed a break from him. The problem was much bigger than that.
Seeing him on a daily basis only made me want a commitment from him. I wanted more of him, and it was killing me. Believe me, I knew spending so much time with a man I had feelings for wasn’t healthy, considering all the issues. I had to take a more balanced approach or I would lose control of the situation.
The more I thought about it, the more I grew concerned that I’d made a huge mistake. I’d foolishly believed we could be friends, but now I questioned the wisdom of that decision. My mind brought every glance and every kind gesture from him to the forefront as if trying to prove he saw me as more than a friend.
Because I wanted to believe that.
But I needed to keep a steady head and not think with my hormones.
I poured myself a cup of black tea and sat down at the table with my breakfast of buttered toast, two slices of bacon, and an orange. As I continued to dwell on the situation, I realized I needed to pull back a little. Not so much that he’d question our friendship, but enough that my sanity would remain intact.
It wasn’t smart to invest my heart when I’d already decided not to involve myself in a relationship right now. For one, he probably didn’t share the same feelings, not to mention, he’d always had trouble committing to any woman. Furthermore, he was my boss, and I desperately needed to keep this job.
When I thought about it like that it was almost funny.
There were more than enough reasons we couldn’t progress beyond friendship, and I had to accept that and take a step back.
A call came through on my phone, and I answered right away, seeing that it was Charlotte. “Good morning.”
“Hey, stranger. Haven’t spoken to you all week. Where’ve you been?” There was a teasing lilt to her voice, indicating she knew exactly how I’d spent my time.
I pushed my tongue against the inside of my cheek and tried to think of a witty response, but when nothing came to me, I went with a standard answer. “Oh, you know. I’ve been out and about.”
“Oh, really?” she asked, overemphasizing each syllable. “Who were you out with?”
“Just a friend.”
“Hmmm. A friend who took up so much time that you didn’t even get around to calling your best friend. Should I be jealous?” Her tone remained playful, and I could tell none of this bothered her, most likely because she knew the friend in question was her brother. Easton must have told her we’d been hanging out.
I hadn’t purposely kept that information from Charlotte. Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. I had kept it from her, but I’d planned on telling her at some point. My reason for not being so forthcoming was that I was afraid she’d read too much into it and give me hope when there wasn’t any. I was barely holding it together as it was when it came to that man, and a shove in the wrong direction would result in a broken heart.
It was no secret Charlotte wanted to see Easton and me as a couple—but she would have to get over that. Easton didn’t see me that way. He was a flirt, yes, but he genuinely saw me as a friend. His best friend. Yeah, that was what he’d said. He couldn’t have been any clearer than that.
I let out a deep sigh. “Sorry I haven’t called. There’s no excuse. Let me make it up to you. Are you free this evening?”
She laughed. “Yes, I’d love to get together. I’m craving Italian.”
I’d just had pizza with Easton yesterday, but I wasn’t about to mention that. Besides, there were tons of other choices when it came to Italian food. “Let’s meet for dinner then. You pick the restaurant.”
We ironed out the details and then she had to go because her mom was calling. I ate breakfast and then showered and dressed in comfortable clothing, planning to veg out on the couch with a good movie. Just as I finished brushing through my wet hair, there was a knock at the door. A fleeting thought came to mind, causing my stomach to flutter. Maybe it was Easton. Maybe he missed me already. As if. I laughed at the absurdity of the idea and glanced in the mirror, noting my pale skin. I didn’t have on makeup, but I rarely put it on when I was home alone.
I shook my head to clear it and turned away from the mirror. It definitely wasn’t Easton. He had to be tired of me by now, and I was sure he had other things to occupy his attention over the weekend.
I walked to the door and swung it open to find Easton standing there in a pair of blue jeans and a sky-blue polo shirt that matched his eyes. He broke out into a bashful smile, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “Hey.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, and for the first time, he seemed almost…insecure. Or maybe that wasn’t the right word. Nervous?
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked, laughing. “Why didn’t you call?”
He leaned forward and rested a hand on the door frame, the scent of his cologne filling the air with a spicy, woodsy smell that made my head spin. “Sorry, I know I’m showing up out of the blue but…” He trailed off, his eyes studying every detail of my features as if he’d never noticed before.
I shifted and took a step back. “What are you doing?”
His brows rose as if he found something on my face intriguing. “You’re not wearing makeup.”
“It’s ten o’clock on a Saturday morning. What do you expect?” I tried to say it playfully, but to my chagrin, I sounded defensive. I cleared my throat, wanting to die a little. Did he think I looked…bad? Normally, I didn’t care about such things, and it was typical for me to go to the grocery store or do errands without makeup on, but I was already sensitive when it came to Easton. Most of the time I didn’t care what anyone thought, but I wanted him to find me attractive, and the very notion that he didn’t…hurt.
Something snapped in me, and I realized how ridiculous I was behaving. The kind of man I desired to spend time with would accept me no matter what. I couldn’t imagine having to put makeup on for a friend or a boyfriend when I just wanted to relax at home. I decided right then and there that I wouldn’t let any man’s opinion of my external appearance make or break me. Easton either liked me for who I was, or he could turn around and never come back.
He stared at me as if I were some odd creature he’d never seen before. He opened his mouth and then closed it as if not sure what to say. “Right. Of course. I have no expectations, Maya. Just hadn’t seen you without makeup before.” He continued to stare, and my face heated underneath his intense gaze. His eyes danced with mischief as he reached out and brushed a knuckle ever so lightly against my cheek as if needing to check for himself. “You look different. That’s all.”
My brows flew up, unsure if he was teasing or serious. His tone was light, and I’d seen
that mischievous look in his eyes before. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was inwardly laughing at me, and that laughter sliced through my heart where it hurt the most.
“Your skin,” he said. “It’s so…” He didn’t finish that statement, and his slow perusal made me uncomfortable. I refused to let him get the better of me, though.
“Why are you here, Easton? I have things to do.” I heard the frustration in my tone, but I didn’t try to smooth it over. He was annoying me with his weird looks.
He straightened, appearing apologetic all of a sudden. “Sorry. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.”
Out of nowhere, tears sprung to my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away, mortified that I was coming unglued over something as stupid as this. The man dropped by when I didn’t have makeup on. Big deal. It wasn’t a national disaster, and if we were going to remain friends, he was bound to see me like this at some point. Still…his opinion mattered more than I cared to admit. “What do you need?” The words came out like a strangled cat, but I didn’t care anymore.
He frowned and lifted a tear off my face with his thumb. “What’s this about?” He stepped closer, his eyes trailing my features slowly. Way too slowly for my comfort.
“I don’t like being scrutinized.” I retreated a step, needing to put distance between us before I completely lost it and embarrassed myself even more.
“You think I’m…scrutinizing you?” He rubbed the back of his neck, appearing confused.
“Aren’t you?”
“No.” He paused. “I mean…I am looking at you, but it’s because you’re a beautiful woman. I’ve always thought that.”
“Whatever.” I sounded angry, but I was hurting inside. It finally occurred to me that this wasn’t really about him seeing me without makeup on. The real issue was that I didn’t want to be in the friend-zone anymore. I didn’t want him to view me that way. Why couldn’t he fall for me the same way I was falling for him? My heart ached, and the pain of unrequited love swept through me like a flood. “Just be honest with me…” I didn’t get a chance to finish my statement because he yanked me into his chest like I was a rag doll. His mouth crashed against mine, and he kissed me so hard I nearly lost my ability to breathe.
Blind Date with my Billionaire Boss (Blind Date Disasters Book 5) Page 16
