by Rona Halsall
Jonah’s face broke into a big smile at the sound of his father’s voice and Dan leant over the pushchair, stroking a finger against his son’s cheek. ‘Hey little ’un.’ He turned and smiled at Chloe. ‘Can I take him out?’
She nodded, her heart beating so hard she was feeling a bit dizzy. ‘Yes,’ she said, taking the roses, their heady scent filling the air. Dan picked up their baby and cradled him gently in his arms, his eyes alight with love.
Everyone makes mistakes, she thought, but we shouldn’t have to pay for them forever. If she was able to forgive herself for her mother’s death, then surely she should try and forgive Dan? He’d been nothing but a gentleman since their honeymoon. He’d been patient. He’d let her be moody, let her rant, accepted his share of the blame. And now she had to accept her share too. If they were to move forward, she had to trust him.
‘Dan, the other question’ She started to speak before she even knew what she was going to say. Her eyes stung with sudden tears. ‘My answer is yes.’
He swallowed, his eyes glistening as he leant forwards to kiss her, and she let herself respond, clear in her mind that this was the right thing to do. For the sake of Jonah, she was willing to give their marriage another try.
Forty-Four
Six weeks later
Chloe lay Jonah in his cot and covered him with his blanket, relieved that he’d fallen asleep at last. He had a cold, and a fractious night had been followed by an equally fractious morning. On top of caring for Jonah, Chloe was having to look after her gran at the moment, who was recovering from pneumonia and had become quite frail. Janelle had been called back to Ireland to look after her own mother, who’d had a stroke, so she was no longer available to help.
The strain of the extra responsibility was starting to take its toll on Chloe; it was a constant juggling act that left her feeling she wasn’t looking after either of them properly. Thankfully, Dan almost passed her gran’s house on the way to work, so he’d agreed to pop in on his way to and from work when he could.
Today it had all caught up with her though and she was beside herself with tiredness. She walked into the living room and grimaced. It was a tiny room, cluttered with all their stuff and in need of a good tidy up, but there was no way she had the energy to tackle it today. The apartment was definitely not working now there were three of them living there, and she knew that moving was inevitable. But it all depended on money, and that related to whether she was going back to work or not, a question that was rarely far from her mind.
Another six weeks and she’d have to return. Too soon, she thought, panic rising in her chest.
Marie, her boss, was pressing her for an answer. Dan was pressing her to stay at home if that’s what she wanted. He was always very careful to add that, but she knew his preference. It would be so much better if she was looking after their son, wouldn’t it? Bringing him up in the way they wanted. Yes, his words were never far from her mind. And he was determined they should buy a house rather than carry on renting. Nothing but the best for his family, he kept saying, taking her out to view properties that raised her hopes, gave her dreams that she knew in her heart were unachievable.
It hadn’t been easy for Dan to find a job, and while he was unemployed, they’d had to dip into their savings to make ends meet. Finally, he’d been offered a role through a charity for disadvantaged youths, where he’d been volunteering as an activities coach. It was only for six months, a pilot project, but if he could show there were real benefits to the work he was doing with the youngsters, then the organisation could apply for funding for a longer-term position. Unfortunately, his short-term contract meant that banks were unwilling to consider his income for a mortgage application and her income on its own wasn’t enough. To make the dream possible, both of them would need permanent jobs.
‘How about we ask your gran for a loan?’ Dan had suggested a few weeks before, when they were have having a run through their finances, trying to work out a way forward that didn’t involve Chloe going back to work. Dan wanted to be able to do this for her, give her the time at home with Jonah and she knew it was his attempt to make up for the horrors he’d put her through. Those experiences still felt fresh, making her more distant than she used to be, always on alert. It was a subconscious thing, something she had no control over and she hoped, in time, that she would be able to accept what had happened and put it behind her.
She’d stared at him, open-mouthed. ‘What? No I couldn’t. No way could I ask her for money.’ The very suggestion appalled her, the comments from Lucy never far from her mind. There was no way she’d be asking her gran for money, because that would just prove her sister right.
He’d shaken his head, frustrated. ‘But it’s what families do, babe. They support each other. Especially in this day and age. I’d ask Mum, but she’s renting and I know she hasn’t got anything to spare. But your gran, well’ He’d shrugged. ‘It’s got to be worth a try. I mean, we’ve exhausted every other avenue. It’s our only hope.’
‘No,’ she’d said, firmly. ‘No way am I asking her for money. Honestly, it would ruin our relationship and we’ve just got it back on track.’
‘Please, Chloe. Think of Jonah. Think of that house we saw yesterday. That lovely village, perfect school. Everything we’ve dreamed about. And your gran could make it possible.’
Chloe had stood up, hands on her hips. ‘No. No. No,’ she snapped. ‘And that’s the end of it.’ She’d left the room, hoping that the conversation was over.
The ringing of her phone snapped her mind back to the present and she snatched it up from the sofa, making sure the noise hadn’t disturbed Jonah before dashing to their bedroom, where her voice was least likely to wake him.
It was Dan, the chatter of people loud in the background. She pressed a finger to her ear, trying to work out what he was saying.
‘Dan, I can’t really hear you.’
He went quiet for a minute. ‘That better?’ There was a clunk, a door shutting perhaps, and then silence.
‘Yes, fine.’ She sat on the bed, yearning to lie down and go to sleep.
‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got to stay for a staff meeting tonight. I forgot all about it. So I can’t do your gran’s tea. I’m sorry – I know I said I would, but—’
Chloe groaned. This was the last thing she wanted to hear. ‘Do you have to be there?’
‘It’s some anti-bullying thing, new measures, so yes, I’ve got to be there I’m afraid.’
Chloe’s shoulders slumped.
‘I can pick you up on my way home,’ he continued, ‘so you won’t have to worry about that and we can get a takeaway if you like.’
Silence. He was obviously waiting for an answer, but Chloe was so disheartened she couldn’t speak.
He sighed. ‘I’m sorry, babe. I know it’ll mess up Jonah’s routine a bit, but there’s honestly no way I can do it tonight.’
She heard shouting in the background.
‘Christ! I’ve got to go. There’s a bit of a situation kicking off. See you later, babe.’
Silence. He’d gone.
She flopped backwards and lay on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Today of all days. Why did these things always crop up at the worst moment?
I’m not ready to go back to work.
The thought flashed into her mind, a certainty that she hadn’t allowed herself to consider before. How would she ever do a full day’s work when she felt like this? Even getting off the bed, now that she was lying down, seemed like too much of an effort. And how could she leave Jonah for all those hours? It would be like ripping off part of her body.
We can’t manage if I don’t work, another voice told her, and she felt the hot trickle of tears as they rolled down her face. She was paralysed with despair and exhaustion and it wasn’t long before she was asleep.
Jonah’s cries jolted her awake, the apartment gloomy now in the late-afternoon light. She checked her phone and saw it was almost four o’clock, time to give Jonah a quic
k feed, then they’d have to think about getting round to her gran’s. It was a bit of a hike from the apartment, with no easy bus route, so she had no choice but to walk it, given Dan had the car and there was no spare money for a taxi.
‘Nice bit of fresh air,’ she said to Jonah as she bundled him into his padded outfit and tucked him in the buggy, and it was indeed a lovely crisp evening. She plodded through the streets until she reached the familiar row of Georgian terraced houses where her gran lived, the road busy with people returning from work, lights on in most of the houses.
She frowned as she turned up the path to her gran’s house. It was dark, no lights, not even the flicker of the TV. A chill of unease settled on the back of her neck, and when she pushed open the front door and flicked on the light, her heart jumped up her throat, her mouth open in a silent scream as she saw the crumpled form of her gran sprawled at the foot of the stairs.
The phone was already in Chloe’s hand, emergency number dialled when she crouched by her gran’s side, taking in the lifeless eyes, the peculiar angle of her neck. There was no question that she was dead.
Forty-Five
Two weeks later
The funeral was delayed to give Lucy time to get back from her trekking holiday in Nepal. It had taken a while before she could be contacted and Chloe had no intention of angering her by holding the service without her. Anyway, it had been her gran’s instructions that her funeral should be held on a date when her three grandchildren and Janelle could all be there, because she wanted the solicitor to read the will after the funeral tea. She’d got it all laid out in writing and, as her sole executor, the solicitor followed her wishes to the letter.
It was a simple burial service, followed by an equally simple funeral tea, an awkward event, given that Lucy and Mark weren’t talking to Chloe. They were even angrier with her after the will had been read and left straight afterwards, without saying a word.
It turned out that Chloe’s gran was a wealthy woman, not only owning a house worth £1.7 million but having stocks and shares worth another couple of million as well. Together with cash reserves, her estate came to almost £5 million. Chloe had been astounded, having no idea the inheritance would be so large, and her gran had been true to her word, sharing it equally between her three grandchildren, with a small legacy for Janelle as a thank you for her companionship and care.
The cash element was to be distributed as soon as probate had been granted and taxes paid and on its own, this would allow Chloe and Dan to buy their dream house, with still more money to come when the sale of the Brighton property was completed.
‘It’s karma,’ Dan said, when they settled in their living room that evening. ‘I know you were getting on better with your gran, but she was pretty mean to you for years, wasn’t she? In the end, you’ve been rewarded for all the time you spent looking after her.’
Chloe sighed and shuffled in her seat, uncomfortable with the idea, her sadness still an ache in her heart. ‘I know, but I understand why. And things have been different since Jonah came along. She loves loved him to bits. You know that. He was her world and it’s sad that he doesn’t have anyone on my side of the family now.’
Dan slung an arm round her shoulder and pulled her close. ‘Well, I think we deserve this after what we’ve been through, don’t you? A little bit of good fortune. You don’t have to work now. We can buy the house you’ve got your heart set on, and I can have a bit of space to think about where I want to go next in terms of career. Maybe invest some money in setting up a language school.’ He shrugged. ‘The pressure’s off, so I’d say we must have done something right.’
Chloe snuggled against him, her eyes lingering on Jonah, who was asleep on her lap. Yes, it was sad that Gran had died, but perhaps she should look at things differently, think of the joy that her gran’s gift would give them, thank her for it and enjoy the possibilities it could bring.
Funnily enough, the minute the thought popped into her head, she sensed that she was tempting fate.
* * *
That night, she woke with a start. A loud noise in the bedroom. Dan was having a nightmare, shouting at somebody again, as he paced the floor. She could see his silvery form, the moonlight streaming through a gap in the curtains. With her heart racing, she climbed out of bed, and crept over to the door so she could get out of his way should she need to. This was the first nightmare he’d had since Menorca and she’d forgotten how scary it was.
‘Stupid woman!’ he shouted. ‘Why are you being so mean about money? Just a short-term loan so we can get a mortgage. I know you’ve got plenty. I know you do.’ He walked forwards, his arms in front of him, moving as if he was pushing someone. ‘You don’t deserve her. You never did.’
Chloe was frozen in place. Who does he think he’s talking to?
An icy hand wrapped around her heart.
He’s dreaming, she told herself. It’s not real.
But she knew.
Forty-Six
Dan was so excited at work, he’d found it hard to concentrate. Who knew the old lady was so rich? Well, he’d had an inkling, having done a bit of research and found out that Chloe’s grandfather had been a stock-broker, something she’d never mentioned. Surely a stock-broker would have had some money stashed away, he’d thought at the time, and look how right he’d been. This was just what they needed. Hopefully, once they had that lovely house and he had a proper career, Chloe would be able to forgive him for everything he’d put her through. Although she’d agreed to take him back, things hadn’t been the same and sometimes he wondered about her commitment. He thought she might be having second thoughts, caught a look on her face sometimes that he didn’t like and it scared him.
She still doesn’t trust me.
He couldn’t blame her for that. An image flashed into his mind, making him shake his head to get rid of it.
It was an accident. She lost her balance, he told himself as he parked the car outside the apartment block.
He should have felt sorry. Should have felt remorse, but it was exactly the same as when he’d hit Jason. He felt relieved that a problem had been solved, a bully had gone away and now he and Chloe could have the life they’d dreamed about.
He smiled to himself as he walked up the stairs to their apartment, anticipation swirling in his belly. He’d put in an offer for the house Chloe had set her heart on and it had been accepted. He couldn’t wait to tell her. She was going to be so delighted. Perhaps now she would find it in her heart to forget the past and their relationship would get back to where it had been before their honeymoon.
He put the key in the lock. Or at least he tried to, but it wouldn’t go in. He peered at the keyhole, checked his keyring to make sure he’d got the right key, then tried again. Still it wouldn’t work. He frowned. Bloody stupid thing. He’d have to have a look at that later, but he had no patience to mess about now. He rang the doorbell, and waited for Chloe to come and open the door. A few minutes later, he was still standing there, waiting. He leant on the doorbell for a little while, thinking she must be asleep and hadn’t heard him, but still there was no answer. He frowned. What is going on?
He bent and peered at the lock and that’s when he noticed the scratches on the wood, saw how shiny the metal was. It’s new. She’s changed the lock. He leant against the wall, confused. He ran a hand through his hair, annoyance tightening his jaw as he thought. Perhaps she went out and lost her keys, decided to get a new lock fitted? That made sense, he decided, but it would have been handy if she’d told him. The shine had gone off his day now. He was tired and hungry and just wanted to sit on the sofa with a beer and relax.
It was odd for Chloe to not be at home, though.
Perhaps something’s happened to Jonah! That thought terrified him. His son was the most important person in his life, if he was being honest. That little boy had stolen his heart and if anything happened to him He could feel himself welling up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t get the thought out of
his head, unable to see another reason why they wouldn’t be at home. There was no point speculating, he decided with a sniff, that wasn’t getting him anywhere.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and rang Chloe, only to hear an announcement that her number was no longer in operation. His mouth hung open, his thoughts in turmoil for a moment.
Perhaps she was mugged, lost her handbag?
He nodded to himself. The idea horrified him, but it was the only possible answer. So where is she? If she’d had the locks changed, then why wouldn’t she be at home? He decided she’d be at one of two places: at his mum’s or at her gran’s old house. But then he realised there were other places she might be. The hospital. Or the police station.
He sighed and rang his mum, but there was no answer. His mouth twisted in annoyance. He tried the hospital, but neither Chloe nor Jonah had been admitted. He wasn’t going to ring the police station yet. That would be a last resort.
He thought for a moment, tapping his phone against his chin, and it dawned on him that a familiar pattern was emerging.
No, that can’t be right. She wouldn’t. Not when all our problems have been solved. His heart pounded in his chest, as he looked at his phone, scrolled to his banking app and checked the balance of their joint account. Zero. Everything had gone. Yes, he had his own account, but he couldn’t use that because he was up to his limit on his overdraft. He had no money, just debts.
What the hell is she playing at?
He cast his mind back to the morning, wondered if there had been any signs that something was amiss. But no, he was sure everything had been normal. She’d kissed him goodbye with a smile, said she’d see him later. His head was throbbing with confusion now.
He stormed down the stairs, into the car and screeched away from the kerb. He knew where she’d be her gran’s house. Janelle was over for a few days to help clear it out and the two of them were very close these days. If Chloe was mad at him for some reason, then she’d be pouring her heart out to Janelle, he was sure of it.
