Tama smiles. “I like this story, son of Cruz. I like it more than your last one.”
“I thought you might,” says Julian. “But it’s never wise to judge a story until you see it through to the end. Only when it’s all told, can you truly know what it’s about. Where was I? Oh, yes. The hero in our story is brought before the court for justice. But this man—unlike the one in my earlier story about the Valkyrie—has actually been having an affair with the king’s daughter. Before the trial, the princess, apparently to help save her lover, learns behind which door waits the tiger. Before the man makes his selection, she nods to him in the direction of the door he should choose. But here’s the thing,” Julian says, “the princess knows that one way he will meet his death, and the other way, he will be married to another woman. Either way, he will be lost to her.” Julian pauses. “And she to him. She nods toward a door. The man points to the door, and it opens.”
Everyone in the circle, even Shae, leans toward Julian to hear how it ends. Falling quiet, Julian swallows some shine. “That’s it, ladies and gentlemen,” he says. “There is no more. That’s how the story ends. You don’t find out which door he opens. You never learn the fate the princess has chosen for her lover. Is death by tiger preferable to marriage to someone else? Only the writer knows. And he is mum.”
The men and women groan in frustration and disbelief. They express loud dissatisfaction with such an ambiguous end. Tama in particular is deeply disappointed. He urges Julian to provide an end for them. “I pity you if where you come from, these are the kind of stories you tell,” Tama says. “In this part of the world, we like real endings. Bad or good. One way or another.”
“So make an ending for the story, Tama,” Julian says. “It’s up to you. What do you think?”
For another hour, the group debates the proper end to the story of the lady, or the tiger. Hula and Tia don’t believe the princess would let her beloved be killed. The men declare that death is preferable to willingly giving away your lover to someone else. Kiritopa refrains. Shae refrains.
“Shae, why so silent all of a sudden?” Tama asks. “You of all people have no opinion?” His black eyes gleam in the firelight.
“Shut up, Tama.”
“Come on, girl, don’t be shy. You have an opinion on everything. Write an end to that story.” The young Maori laughs. Shae doesn’t speak. Even when Julian nudges her lightly to prod her to answer, she refuses.
“In a surprise twist, the woman is silent on the matter. But what about you, whiteman?” Tama asks. “How do you think the story ends?”
“The story never ends,” Julian says. “But the man is doomed either way. He opens the door and finds both—the lady, and the tiger.” He doesn’t look at Shae, or Tama, or anyone, only at the fire, and at his hands knotted into fists. “Love and death are both behind door number two. Behind door number one, there is nothing.”
49
Heart of Darkness
THAT NIGHT SHAE DOESN’T COME TO HIS BED UNTIL LATE. There’s a heaviness inside Julian he can’t shake, a magnet on his heart from the cold dread of Edgar’s words, from Shae’s terrified face as they walked back to the Hinewai.
It’s also not quiet. The ice must already be breaking, for there’s a din against the hull of the ship that rattles the lamps and Julian’s teeth. He can’t sleep. He goes up on deck, looks around, walks around under the cold, clear, starlit sky. There is no aurora in the heavens tonight. A few minutes after he returns to his cabin, he hears her familiar scratching.
He pulls her inside, barricades the door behind her. They climb clothed into the elk sleeping bag and lie together breathing heavily, first face to face and then, when neither of them can bear it, her back to his front. Julian is so full of emotion, for many minutes he can’t speak. It’s the dead of night.
Is it true what Edgar told me.
I don’t know what he told you.
They’re barely whispering. They’re communicating almost telepathically.
How did you get me on this boat?
I asked Niko, and he said yes.
Edgar told me it’s not Niko’s boat.
I asked Tama, and he said yes, she whispers.
Shae…did you bring me out into the open sea because you wanted Tama and me to fight? Because you wanted Tama to kill me?
Of course not. It’s barely a breath.
Is that why you didn’t want Kiritopa to come? Because you didn’t want him to stand witness to it? You didn’t want to endanger him?
Of course not.
Shae, what have you done?
Julian, forgive me! she cries, spinning around to him. I’ve lived the last ten years of my life, knowing that when you came, my death wouldn’t be far behind, that I would have to leave with you or die!
Fulani didn’t say you had to leave with me, Julian says. She said I had to leave with you. Is this where you brought me, Shae, to my death? And to yours.
Think about my life, Julian! When I was twelve, I might have found it romantic, a knight dressed in black coming to rescue his princess. But I’m twenty-six. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t want to be rescued! For many years I refused to believe Mother. I thought she was irrational, she, who didn’t like me going to Dunedin by myself, wanted to send me away ten thousand miles to New York! I was her child, and yet she wanted to never see me again! Every good thing in my life has been poisoned by knowing the hour of my death.
So you brought me out to sea to be killed? You thought you could barter Mephisto for your life with my life?
She sobs.
Don’t you know how much I loved you, Julian says brokenly. You condemned me to die.
I’m sorry, Julian. It was before I knew you.
You knew me, Shae. You knew who I was. And when you met me, you finally knew who you were. Masha, Mashenka, my dearest one.
The unspeakable betrayal strangles his heart.
∞
They exchange more whispers before dawn.
Julian, I’m going to take care of it.
Julian hasn’t slept. Can Hula or Tia help you? he asks.
Shae shakes her head. Tribe will out. Rangi won’t help you either. But I will talk to Tama when he wakes up.
Julian can’t look at her. It’s as if she doesn’t know who Tama is. You can’t ask him, he says. You can never speak to him of this. You know that better than me.
They sit on the bed, side by side, without touching.
What did you give him for my life? asks Julian.
Oil. Moonshine, she says, gray with shame.
They breathe heavily.
I’m sorry, Julian. I promise you, I will make it right—one way or another.
Clearly, Julian says, it will have to be another.
She shakes.
Once I’m dead, do you think you’ll be safe? He gets up to go.
Jumping up, she grabs onto his coat. Julian, wait, don’t go yet, don’t leave me.
Don’t talk to him. There is nothing you can do now. The bell has rung.
Her face is distorted, her lip twisted. You promised Mother no matter where I go, you would follow me. Did you mean it?
It wasn’t your mother I promised this, he says. It was you.
She looks him full in the face. You are the only one who can lead me out. That’s what the gypsy said. That means you can’t be left in their hands. They will show you no mercy. She doesn’t say what she is clearly thinking. They will show me no mercy, too.
Say nothing to him, Julian says. Do you promise me?
No. She wipes the tears from her eyes. I’m sorry, my love.
Don’t be sorry. Do whatever you have to do to save yourself. You know it’s what I came here for.
I know.
When you’re on deck or down below, remember to stand so no one can come up behind you. And be on the opposite side of the ship from me. No matter where I am, stay away from me.
Why?
He is quiet. Stand back from the line of fire, Shae,
he whispers, gliding his heavy hand across her faithless heart.
When Julian climbs out to the still empty deck and looks onto the sea, the ice is gone, and the Terra Nova is gone. It’s as if there had never been a ship, or ice, or barrels rolled on the floes, or the grease, or the blood of leopard seals dragged back to be flensed, or Edgar and his whisky and his devastating words, followed by Shae’s devastating words. All of it has vanished. Only the spring October sun is bursting blue on the black and white horizon. The ocean is motionless like glass. It’s like a painting.
It was before I knew you.
Can it be true? Was it all a dream?
Below deck, through the wood boards of the stern, Julian hears rising voices. As soon as he hears, he knows it wasn’t a dream.
“Leave him alone, Tama.”
Don’t, Shae! Julian wants to yell. Don’t! Please…
“We made a bargain, Shae. Why are we still discussing it?”
“So what? You got your money. Let it go. Kia ora.”
“We made an iron-clad bargain. And money was not the only thing I wanted.”
“Please, Tama.”
“I thought you wanted him out of your life? I’m going to give you what we both want, Shae.”
“I don’t want it anymore.”
“Why?”
“Come on, Tama. We’ve been friends our whole lives.”
“Yes, we’ve been friends. But he is nothing to you. Right, Shae? He is nothing to you?”
“Don’t do this, Tama. I beg you…”
“Don’t do what?” It’s Kiritopa, who has opened the door to his cabin.
“Stay out of it, old man. This doesn’t concern you.”
“He’s right, Kiritopa, stay out of it!” That’s Shae. “Go back inside. Everything’s fine. I’ll handle it.”
“There is nothing to handle,” Tama says. “Shae and I made a little deal, and she’s trying to go back on her word.”
“What kind of deal?”
“It’s nothing, Kiritopa.”
“Why don’t you want to tell him, Shae?”
“Shut up, Tama!”
“Don’t shout at me, woman. Kiritopa, your adopted daughter and I had agreed, among other things, that I would take her to see her former lover before he broke through the ice, and in return she would let me have a minute on deck with the whiteman.”
Julian, listening in, is bent over the open hatch in a deepest bow.
“The man insulted me,” Tama continues. “He insulted me in my own place of business. I didn’t touch him, and he knocked me down in front of my people. That kind of slight cannot go unanswered. You know that as well as I do.”
“Why didn’t you try harder to remain on your feet, Tama?” Kiritopa says. “It’s not his fault you can’t stand straight.”
“Don’t provoke me, old man. Shae and I agreed. Everyone gets what they want.”
“It’s not what I want!” says Shae.
“You mean, it’s not what you want anymore. What changed your mind, princess, his exceptional koteka? That’s not how a bargain works. A promise is a promise.”
“Tama, stop it,” Kiritopa says. “The man is a guest aboard Niko’s ship.”
“It’s not Niko’s ship,” says Tama. “It’s my ship.”
“Your father’s, you mean.”
“So mine,” says Tama.
“Let’s get Niko out here and see what he says about it.”
“Did you not hear me when I said Niko has no say in this?”
“Niko is the captain of this ship!” Kiritopa thunders. “He has final say in everything.”
“I have relieved him of his command, old man. I am now in charge of this ship.”
“Tama, please!” Shae cries.
“I don’t know what you’re both so upset about. All I want is a fight—fair and square. If son of Cruz beats me, he lives.”
“Absolutely not, Tama,” says Kiritopa. “I won’t allow it.”
“Back away, old man.” There is a sound of a scuffle, of shoving. “You don’t want to threaten me. It would not end well. He is my enemy. And a friend of my enemy is my enemy, too. After he dies, there will be no protection for you, and especially you, whitewoman, if you have switched your allegiance. I show no mercy to those who are against me.”
Julian has no time to waste. He can’t go below deck. Kiritopa, Tama, and Shae are arguing in a corridor that’s barely a foot wide. It’s a death trap. Julian won’t be able to get Shae out of the tube-like cage. Yet in a moment neither Shae nor Kiritopa are going to get out of that cage on their own.
Julian walks quickly across mid-ship, almost running, to the large steel trunk, where the butchering tools are stowed. He has stowed some things there himself over the past few days, in preparation for all contingencies. He flings open the trunk, searching for his dirty towel.
Close behind him he hears Rangi’s voice.
“Are we going hunting? Is that why you’re looking for weapons?” Rangi says. “Because I don’t see any seals out there.”
“Yeah, we don’t see any seals out there,” says Aata.
Julian slams the trunk closed, and slowly turns around. Rangi and Aata face him. Rangi’s face has lost its friendliness. Something else has overtaken it, a deep malevolence. “I dropped my rope and my grease rags in here the other day when I was cleaning the blades,” Julian says, showing the men the rope and the towel. “I didn’t want to leave filth behind. Back off, will you? You’re crowding me.”
“Maybe we want to crowd you,” Rangi says.
“Maybe we want to crowd you,” Aata says.
Julian takes a breath. He needed a few more minutes to get ready. He didn’t realize the point of no return would come so soon. The point when he must act or die. And if he dies, Shae will be left in their hands. The friend of my enemy is my enemy.
The time has come for you to act, the Lord says.
A strike to the bicep with a mere is not only painful, it renders the arm useless. A strike to the forearm, a strike to the back of the hand. It’s extremely painful and the bones are easily broken. That’s what Julian wants to do, hit Rangi with the mere to incapacitate him, but the two men are standing too close for Julian to get the mere out of his pocket. If he had the club in hand, he could dispatch them ruthlessly but most important, quietly. He doesn’t want to alarm Tama with unnecessary noise. Tama has Shae and Kiritopa in his grasp.
Julian opens his hands to let the rope and the rags fall to the deck. “Oops,” he says, raising his left fist. Rangi blocks it with his right. Which is what Julian wants, since Rangi is right-handed and has now been neutralized. Pushing Rangi’s right hand away, Julian grabs Aata by the hair and smashes the man’s head into Rangi’s turned and unprotected face. He bangs the men’s heads together one more time, to knock them out. Noiselessly he lowers them to the deck and then spends a minute in frenetic but controlled activity.
The last thing he does is pop down into the steerage and wake up Tia. Hula doesn’t even stir when he brings the young girl, half-awake and frightened, onto the deck, nearly carrying her because her legs won’t hold her. “Don’t be afraid,” he says, shielding her eyes. “I won’t hurt you.” Patting her down, he removes the chopper knife from the pocket of her nightdress. The young girl sleeps with a blade on her. “But you might hurt me, eh?” He chucks the knife into the sea. “Now, here’s what I need you to do. Call for your brother, Tia. Lift the hatch and ask him to come up on deck, and as soon as he’s here, run back to your bed and don’t come out for anything, got it?”
She shakes. “And if I don’t call my brother?”
“You want to help him, don’t you?”
“What are you going to do if I don’t, hurt me?”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Julian says. “But I will throw you overboard. And that water is cold. Your brother will have to jump in to save you, and then he really won’t stand a chance. And how will you feel if he doesn’t jump in to save you? So if you really want to
help him, you will call his name, and you will run and hide. Believe me, he doesn’t want to worry about you being on deck.” He drags her to the hatch that leads to the main cabins and pops the lid. “Kiritopa, Shae, can you come out here, please,” Julian calls down. “I want to show you something.” He nudges the girl. “Go on, Tia. Help your brother live.”
“Back away from the hatch, son of Cruz,” Tama calls from down below. “Your woman is here with me.”
“And your sister is here with me.”
“Tama,” says Tia in a small voice. “Come up. I need you.”
There is a foreboding silence, and then movement. Kiritopa climbs out first. Shae is second, with Tama holding her ankle. When he sees Tia by Julian’s side, he lets go of Shae, who runs to Kiritopa. “Let her go,” Tama says. “This is between you and me, whiteman.”
“So why are you clutching Shae’s skirts, then, if it’s between you and me?” says Julian, pushing Tia away.
“He took my blade, Tama, I’m sorry!” cries Tia.
“Get out of here, Tia,” says Julian.
“Yes, Tia, go on,” Tama says. “Let me take care of it. In a few minutes, it will all be over, and then you can come out. Stay below until I call you.”
Giving Tama a long, fearful glance, Tia disappears down into the steerage.
Tama stands on deck assessing the situation.
Julian has bound Rangi’s and Aata’s ankles and wrists together in handcuff knots. He has slipped a noose knot around their necks and holds the ends of the twine in his hand. He has dragged both men to the middle of the deck and left them lying by the cast-iron cauldrons.
Tama considers his mates—Aata passed out, Rangi bleeding from his broken nose, rope around their necks.
Julian is evaluating some things himself: who’s on deck, where they stand, what they are doing, what’s in their hands. How far they are from him, how far they are from Shae.
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