What was happening to me?
“Verity?” Gran said. “Have you gotten the broo—”
Her sentence ended with a scream.
I couldn’t control myself. Deep down inside of me, I knew that this was wrong, but Gran’s blood was so ridiculously tempting that I couldn’t hold myself back.
More.
I drank as much as I could. Gran struggled in my embrace. She was taller than me, but much weaker in comparison. The more I drank, the stronger I felt, but no matter how much I took, my thirst wouldn’t be quenched. My throat continued to feel dry despite the massive quantities of blood I sucked from Gran’s artery.
I groaned as, slowly, satisfaction began to warm my insides.
This tasted too good.
I drank and drank, until Gran’s body offered nothing more for me to take. She stopped struggling. She grew weak from blood loss, and that made it easier for me to steal her life essence. I hummed contentedly against her neck when I finished, before letting her go and allowing her corpse to fall to the ground.
I ran my tongue over my fangs, reveling in the calm sensation of bliss. In my bloodlust, I’d torn Gran’s arm off. Perhaps I’d been too violent with—
I snapped awake.
“Gran?” I said, looking at the dead body in front of me. I reached up and touched my teeth, feeling the fangs still poking out. I froze. The blood on my tongue suddenly tasted bitter. I retched as disgust surged through me. “Gran!” I fell to the ground. I grabbed her torn arm and tried to put it back. That didn’t work, of course.
I’d killed Gran.
“No. No, no, no, no, no.” I shook my head. “Gran, please. Please, please, please.”
She was dead.
What had I done?
What was I?
I couldn’t fathom the horror of the scene before me. Guilt and revulsion ripped through my insides. What was I supposed to tell Mom and Dad when they got home? How was I supposed to look in the mirror and be okay with myself after this?
Anguished cries tore from my throat as I leaned over Gran’s corpse. This had to be a dream. I just couldn’t accept it.
This hadn’t happened.
It just couldn’t have.
“This never happened,” I said, my voice shaking. “This never, ever happened.”
I muttered those phrases to myself over and over and over until they became true. I suppressed the memory of what I’d done, keeping it in the dark recesses of my mind.
I refused to face reality.
I hadn’t killed Gran.
It was someone else. Something else.
And I was going to have my revenge.
Twenty-Nine
Verity
Present Day
I opened my eyes to sunlight. It greeted me, and for the first time, it made me feel weak. I hated its glare on my eyes. I detested the feeling of its warmth on my skin.
That hadn’t been a dream.
It had taken me five years to remember, but it was time for me to accept what I’d done.
I turned to my left. Miles stood at attention next to me and studied me as if he was ready to hang on my every word.
I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. What was all that pain about?
And those memories…
“Gran,” I said. “I killed her.” Hearing myself say it almost felt surreal. “I can’t have…”
“You smell different,” Miles said. It seemed like he was speaking to himself. “Not human anymore.”
Miles had tucked me into my own bed. I pushed myself up into a seating position, then looked at my hands. I felt different. My eyesight had improved, and the smells around me had grown stronger. Miles, for one, bore a light, earthy scent. Had my room always looked this messy? Everything seemed clearer to me. There were more details on the curtains. I noticed the little bits of dust gathered beneath the curtains. The colors were sharper than before. I noticed more objects lying around. Mom and Dad hadn’t bothered to clean up my room for me. They were too busy, probably, with both of them working stressful jobs to pay our bills.
“I’m not human,” I said. “I’m a… a vampire. I killed my own grandmother, when all this time I’ve been…”
I was disgusted by myself, but my body didn’t have the capability of feeling nausea.
Miles shook his head. “You’re not just a vampire. You’re a fullblood.”
My mouth went dry. Thirst and an uncontrollable need to have blood was beginning to claw its way up my throat. My mind fogged again, just as it had when I drained Gran dry. “A fullblood? How do you know?” I looked at Miles. I didn’t thirst for him as I did Gran, although his jugular was beginning to look increasingly tempting.
Miles turned to the window. The curtains were drawn, and sunlight streamed in, bathing my skin. I should be burning.
“Fullbloods don’t burn in the sun. And your smell. It’s distinct. That’s the only explanation.”
I gave Miles a once-over. “Are you one?”
Miles raised a brow. “There are only two others known to exist. Cassius and his father. There’s no way I can be one.”
“But you’re not burning.”
“If you’ve drunk the blood of another fullblood, you’re immune to the sun. That’s why so many normals are always trying to get on Cassius’s good side.” Miles tucked his hands in his pockets and sat on a chair. “Does that answer your question?”
“I think so,” I replied. But I had a billion more to ask him.
“You’re a fullblood,” Miles said. “The one the council has been looking for.” Miles chuckled. It was the first time I’d seen him smile. “I can’t believe you’re her. Our future queen. I had a feeling about you when I first met you. I thought you’d be a good soldier, just like me. But… a queen.” He looked at the ceiling, continuing to grin. Miles hardly showed any emotion, so it was jarring to see him like this. “I really can’t believe it.”
“I can’t believe anything either.” I tried suppressing the memory again, but it was at the forefront of my mind. It wouldn’t leave no matter how hard I tried to block it out.
It was hard.
So difficult.
It’d been much easier to hate and blame and kill. I’d blamed all those lowblood vampires for what I’d done. They were vicious monsters, yes, but I was just as terrible as them.
“I… I can’t live with myself,” I said.
“You almost sound like Cassius.”
“I don’t want to live with this knowledge.” I grabbed a pillow and tossed it across the room, venting my rage. The pillow shot across the room like a bullet and made a huge crack in the wall. I looked at my hand, then at the web of cracks I’d created with my newfound strength. “I’m…”
“It’s a lot to process,” Miles said.
I stopped breathing. “This can’t be. This isn’t me. This isn’t me at all. I’m not a vampire. Not a monster. I didn’t kill Gran and—”
“Take your time.”
“Time isn’t what I need!” I glared at Miles, feeling my fangs poke from my upper lip. “I… I don’t know what I need.”
The image of Cassius flashed in my mind. He would be able to soothe me. Being in his arms was the safest I’d felt in years. But his heart was lying next to me in a glass jar.
I missed him like crazy.
Why did he have a damn death wish?
Miles stood up, as straight as a soldier. He turned to the door. “We need to get you back to the council. You’re the fullblood female.”
“I can’t go back now. We still haven’t figured out about Hannah and Cassius and what to do with…” I blinked, realizing that I could save them. Cassius had told me he needed a queen’s essence to save Annelise. I wasn’t a queen yet, but I had the potential to be one. I was what he required to finish his potion. “There’s a way out. Bring me to Cassius’s body.”
Miles frowned. “But his instructions were to—”
“To hell with his instructions! He was being stupid a
nd brash and he should have come to say goodbye first. He should have asked me what I thought. I didn’t get the chance to show him that I… That I…” I placed a hand over my chest. My heart beat just like Cassius’s did. I was supposed to be an immortal monster, but the emotions inside me still caused me pain.
“I can’t go against his orders.”
My limbs abruptly sprang to action. In a split second, I wasn’t on the bed anymore. My hand was wrapped around Miles’s throat and I had him pressed against the crack I’d made in the wall. I’d moved so quickly that I stunned myself, but that shock faded, replaced by rage. I hissed, baring my fangs at Miles. “Don’t you want him back?” I asked, staring into his eyes, trying to get him to understand where I was coming from. Trying to get him to feel what I felt. The longing. The ache. How much I wanted Cassius back in my life. “Can’t you break your rules or code or whatever for once? He doesn’t have to die. I’m the solution to my sister’s condition, and his sacrifice would be for nothing.”
Miles stilled. His furrowed as he thought. A long pause stretched between us. Then he relaxed. “Okay.”
I backed away, letting his throat go. “We go back to the Sanctum and give Cassius his heart back.”
Miles nodded.
“Hello?” someone called. It came from the living room.
I snapped my attention to the door. “It’s my mom,” I said. “She’s back from work.” I considered staying. I hadn’t seen my mom for close to a month, and I did miss her, even though we weren’t close. What would she think if she saw me now, however? If I looked in the mirror, I’d probably be unable to recognize myself.
“Do you want to see her?” Miles asked.
The doorknob turned.
“No,” I replied. “Not like this. I don’t want anybody to see me like this.” As quickly as I could, I moved to the jar holding Cassius’s heart and snatched it up. I reached for Miles’s arm, and we left my bedroom before anybody could find out that we were ever here.
Thirty
Verity
Miles brought me back to the Sanctum like he had the first time. I stepped off the ferry, feeling less seasick than I had before. I focused on my new dexterity and strength. The world looked so much clearer in this new body. My vision was sharper, and I was filled with so much more energy.
I just couldn’t get near humans. The thirst was uncontrollable. During my trip to the pier, Miles had to stop me a few times from lunging at passersby. He told me I’d get better at controlling the thirst, but I didn’t see how. Every time I looked at a human, I could only think about sinking my teeth into their necks.
I walked onto the jetty, hugging Cassius’s heart to my chest. I had to guard it with my life. Miles had told me about how prized Cassius’s heart was. If any other normal vampire found out about what I held in my hands, they’d stop at nothing to get it.
The gates of the Sanctum were as imposing as ever, the metal bars so tall they looked like they might touch the sky.
We weren’t alone. Five vampires awaited us, standing in front of the gates. Four of them smelled similar, but one had a more distinguished scent. It was strange how I could differentiate people from their scents now.
Miles reached over to take Cassius’s heart from me. I inched away, not wanting to let go. “I’ll keep it safe,” he said. “They’re nobles. All of them with vested interests and craving power. I’m not sure what they might do if they find out we have my master’s heart in a jar. He left himself too vulnerable like this.”
“Make sure nothing happens to it,” I said.
Miles nodded and accepted the jar from me. “I’ll go into the Sanctum through another entrance. Don’t want to have to cross paths with them.”
“Yeah. Okay,” I said. Miles and I weren’t exactly the best of buddies, but at least I knew that we were on the same page and that he wouldn’t hurt Cassius. The looks on these new people’s faces reminded me of vultures. They wanted something from me. I didn’t know what. And I didn’t want to be left alone with them.
Still, Cassius took priority, and I let Miles walk away with his heart.
My feet dragged when I walked toward the gates. I sucked in a deep breath and came face to face with the man who acted like the leader of the group. He approached me first, his gait confident and imposing. He had white hair…
Like Cassius.
“Our new queen,” the white-haired man said. He bowed and gestured elaborately. “Welcome back to the Sanctum.”
I tried thinking of something smart to say, but his bow left me stunned. I fidgeted, acting very unlike the queen he described me as.
He straightened himself and grinned. His smile looked artificial, and instead of helping me relax, it had the opposite effect. “Don’t look so surprised. We’re merely very, very excited to be in your presence. The witch alerted us of her potion working. We searched all over the school for you, and when she located you, we were absolutely delighted to know that you were coming back.”
“Who… who are you guys?” I asked, eying the group warily. The white-haired man was dressed in a suit that bore the Lucian crest. My guess was that he was Cassius’s father. The remaining four were three females and one male. They looked young, although they had a mature presence, and were all dressed in overtly formal clothes, as if they’d arrived to honor a special occasion.
Was that occasion me?
“Ah.” The man tossed his head back and laughed. “I realized that we haven’t made the proper introductions. I am Endar Lucian, ruler of all vampires. At least for now. When Cassius mates with you and you become queen, you shall rule us all. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Endar pivoted to the others. “These are noble families that you will slowly come to know. They’d like to welcome you into our coven. You’re one of us now. I hope you treat us like you would family.”
I hadn’t come to terms with the fact that I’d killed Gran. This was too much to take. A headache crept up the back of my skull, but I doubted that it was from physical ailments. The guilt continued to claw at me.
Endar reached for my hand. How dumbfounded I was left me vulnerable, so I let him grab it. He brought it to his lips and kissed the back. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you,” he said, lowering my hand and cupping it with both of his. “The vampire race has needed a fullblood female like you ever since those devastating wars. And now, look at you. What a wonder to behold.”
I shrank away. There wasn’t anything special about me. I was nothing but a cold-blooded killer.
“Come with me,” he said. He walked away and waved, gesturing me to follow. “We need to make sure that you’re well taken care of. That your every need is met. That you’re happy and fed so that you will be the best queen you can be.”
Endar talked the entire time we moved through the Sanctum. We went toward the east side and moved through a courtyard with a winding brick path stretching through it. For once, I realized I could mimic the graceful movements of the other vampires. I didn’t struggle at all when trying to keep up with them. In fact, I was faster than the four vampires who’d accompanied Endar.
The smell of leaves and roses weaved around me, the earthy scent stronger due to my heightened senses.
“You are the long-lost daughter of the Elvira vampires,” Endar said. “We thought you died in the Ravaging, just like your real mother and father, but your body was never found. Increasingly, my subjects and I grew suspicious of your death. Perhaps it was desperation that made us think that way, but I’m glad we were right. You’re just the hope we need, Verity.”
“I’m not hope.” I’d only caused pain to my family. Not my real one, apparently, but the family who’d raised and nurtured me. The people who actually cared for me and whom I owed my life to.
“Of course you are.” Endar merely saw me as a means to an end. He might be trying to seem welcoming, but I sensed no warmth from his actions. “You’re one of a kind. I think you’re not comprehending just how important you are. Once Cassius mates with you�
�”
“I’m not sure if he’s going to want to do that.” I’d turned him away so coldly. I still hadn’t forgiven myself for that.
Endar frowned. “He has to. He doesn’t have a choice.”
“And why not?”
“He has to fulfill his duty as a Lucian.”
“What if he doesn’t want to mate with me?”
“He has to anyway.”
“Do you not care about his happiness?”
Endar sighed. “There is that, but there are more important things in life than being happy. Meaning. Purpose. Greatness. Cassius has a role to fulfill. That role is to ensure that our queen is strong and able, so that she can take care of our race.”
Already, I felt the stress of Endar’s expectations. The Snow family wanted their daughters to perform well, yes, but that was only about grades and jobs and other human-related things. Their requests seemed so small compared to the burden Endar had put upon me. I had to care for an entire race?
Was this what Cassius had to go through growing up?
“Of course,” Endar said, “we can leave the boring details for another time. Let us talk about your past. History. Aren’t you curious about that? The Elvira family.”
“I am,” I replied, hating how meek I sounded. I needed more confidence. To own my new skin. How was I supposed to do that when I couldn’t even accept myself?
“The Lucians have ruled ever since the vampire wars, but truly, we are the weakest of the fullbloods who used to exist. There were three families. The Bertrams, the Elviras, and, of course, us, the Lucians.” Endar adjusted his cuffs. It seemed to be a habit of his. “Katiana Elvira was the most radiant woman known to the vampires. Black hair, red lips. Eyes as large as moons, and after she fed, her pupils were the most beautiful blue, so astonishing that they were impossible to look away from. Fangs that even I almost fell in love with her.” Endar settled a knowing gaze on me. “She was your mother. She had you with Dominic Bertram, your father.”
Fullblood Academy: A Vampire Academy Mild Bully Romance (Vampires of the Sanctum Book 1) Page 21
