by H. M. Irwing
And that was sneaking Jake out of the house in broad daylight undetected. I reached out to shake him awake.
"Ohhh Stacy, stop it! You can have more ....later," mumbled Jake in his sleep almost incoherently.
Whack!
"What the f-?" Jake all but leaped to his feet," That hurt," he complained.
"Who the fuck is Stacy?" l demanded angrily.
"She's your replacement. You didn't think I would have moved on did you. Well I did and Stacy it is," he whispered furiously still upset over how I woke him up.
Whack!
"What the f- was that for?" Jake furiously whispered.
"You have another girlfriend and you...you...," I couldn't help it, I started to cry.
"Whoa babe Stacy is not what you think. She's my pet German Shepherd," Jake said staring down at me worriedly.
"Your dog?" I asked stupidly.
"Yes she sleeps with me... in my bed that is. Sorry that came out a little weird," Jake shrugged his shoulders and I stared up at him. My tears drying away like a miracle.
"A dog..," I was still getting used to the idea and then my gumption struck," You replaced me with a dog?"
I watched his amazing face split into a wide grin," Well actually she's a real bitch."
I lunged at him and we bed wrestled the time away till I had to throw on some clothes and rush down stairs to surreptitiously grab breakfast for two.
Then I was getting ready for lunch. Choosing Richard’s favourites was easy since all I had packed for this weekend was grey, grey and more grey. I snuck glances at Jake while I applied my make-up. His down trodden expression was going to make me cry. I fought with the urge to tell him all.
The house was strangely quiet as I crept down the stairs. Almost morbid in its silence. Mum and Dad hadn't come downstairs and the twins remained abed too. So I could have snuck Jake out at any point but he had insisted on remaining there watching me get dressed for my lunch with Richard. But now he was right behind me, only rather than taking the front exit, he chose to go out the back entrance. We hesitated at the landing. I yearned to comfort him to tell him of my decision and put him at ease. I hated thinking I was causing him this unnecessary anguish.
"I love you," I said clearly and markedly. Trying to convey with my expression what I could not yet reveal with words.
He only nodded his head unhappily as he watched me pick up my bag and leave.
Chapter 5
"Hi!" I begun lamely and even a little breathlessly. What I had to do weighed heavily on my mind and I think that showed on my face.
"Something bothering you?" Richard asked seriously.
"Where do I begin?" I asked shrugging it off.
"You know I'm here for you. If you need anything even if it’s just an ear to your troubles, I'm still here," he said making me feel even more bad about what I had to do.
"Em..okay, thanks," I muttered feebly.
We walked out to his car. I felt Jake's blatant stare every step of the way. I knew he was watching from somewhere. My mum and dad were conspicuously absent as was Cat and Em. That worried me not a little but a lot.
The car parked at the curve was a Bentley. A sleek two door sporty version in deep shadow blue hues. She was a beaut.
I got into her plush confines and settled in for the trip ahead that would no doubt be a roller coaster ride of my life. Emotionally that is.
The car shifted into gear and was winding down the narrow path with minimal effort. I turned to face Richard deciding to drink in as much of him as I could along the way. But then he spoke.
"What the fuck did Sadiq want last night?"
So like geyser pressured to the limits and looking for ultimate release I opened my mouth and spilled the beans.
"He wants to marry her?" Richard enquired at the end.
"That is what he said," I muttered relieved to share that load with him.
He fell silent then lost in his thoughts and I likewise sank back into the gloom of my own. The ride was long but otherwise uneventful and soon Richard was pulling up before a classy restaurant. I smoothed the skirt of my grey dress and reluctantly got out of my comfy seat. I could have picnicked in the car and been happy.
But as it were I clicked across the pavement to cover the short distance into the restaurants foyer.
We were ushered to a secluded corner. I boldly ignored the many eyes that turned our way. I was just glad there was no one out snapping photos. Richard made the entertainment page all too often with the many females he lunched with. I know for I have been keeping track, at least over the past three months.
The seat was pulled out for me by the efficient waitress and I smiled my thanks at her as I took it. Then Richard was across me talking in his marvellous deep baritone requesting for some exotic selection of wines. I listened with half an ear more interested in watching him unobserved. He looked beautiful.
"You look beautiful," he said startling me out of my own contemplation of his person. I blushed and mumbled incomprehensibly," You too."
We fell silent then content to just stare at each other than the efficient waitress was back pouring red liquid into my wine glass and I grabbed its brittle stem in my desperate clutches and took in a hesitant sip. Wine and I worked all too well together. I needed to be cautious with this lot if I didn’t want to be inebriated with alcohol.
Richard smirked across at me remembering. I couldn't help but laugh back at him. I had been drunk as a skunk on that shopping trip with him but it had been champagne that did it not wine. I wondered musingly if there was a difference.
We fell silent then. Not uncomfortably so. I pressed my glass to my lips and sipped some more. I was strangely at loss over what to say so I decided to just do it and get it over and done with.
"I've decided to get back with Jake," I said softly meeting his gaze head on. There was no reaction. Nada. We stared on at each other in continued silence. Then he spoke and there was no noticeable inflection to his voice as he said simply," Oh?"
It was rather anti-climatic after all the stressing I went through over this but I was relieved to have said it and that he was taking it so well.
"Yes, I decided just last night and I wanted you to know first," I said smiling slightly.
"Jake doesn't know yet?" Richard enquired and I shook my head in the negative.
"But I intend to tell him as soon as I get back," I said feeling a little happier at the thought of making Jake happy.
"Why wait till then? Do it now," said Richard glancing to the entrance of the restaurant where I gaped to note Jake striding in.
Jake spotted us seated and was over by our side an instant later.
"Mind if I join you?" he said then without waiting for a reply he tugged over a chair from another table and seated himself on it.
"Jake?" I looked at him questioningly. But his steely glance did not divert from Richard's amused eyes. I winced. This was uncomfortable. But Richard merely raised a hand to summon a waiter over.
"Could we have another place setting? My friend it appears is joining us for lunch," Richard smiled mildly.
But I heard the steely undertone and knew that he was not impressed. I shot a glare at Jake. This was, after all, my last lunch with Richard, my last anything with him and here he was ruining it. But I couldn't blame Jake either for he had no idea that I planned to get back with him. This like everything else between us three was all my fault. I clasped my hands tightly in my lap and tried not to fidget at the table cloth.
"So...," I said lamely.
"Yes..," Jake piped in annoyingly determined to participate. I frowned heavily at him.
Then a rough chuckling sound rang in my ears. I turned to face Richard and was dumbfounded to see that he was laughing… outright…at us.
I exchanged a mutual affronted look with Jake but then realised that Richard had the right of it. This was funny. We were funny. I felt a smile broke out and I turn to look confused Jake in the eye before I said," I was just telling Richard
my decision to get back with you...that is if it’s still what you want."
The table fell silent then and I felt awkward almost beyond embarrassed for having said anything at all. I was suddenly completely uncertain. But the poker faces before me offered no relief.
"Are you ready to order?"
The waitress was back but with a flick of his fingers she was sent away.
Jake didn't even acknowledge what I had just said. I felt devastated when his eyes hardened imperceptibly before turning back to stare stonily at Richard. I kept my eyes glued to the empty plate before me.
The moment dragged on but I never looked up so I missed any visual exchange between the two, if there were any. Then someone, Richard? Sighed heavily.
I looked up then to see both hazel greens and the dark voids trained on me," Shall we order?" Richard asked me gently after shooting Jake a furious look.
I simply nodded my head afraid to say anything for I was sure my voice would wobble. I felt a little like crying. No I lie. I felt a lot like sobbing.
The waitress was back in an instant, I flipped open the menu and merely pointed to something that appeared edible.
"You'd like that would you?" Asked the waitress slowly as if I was a dumb and mute. But I didn't care so I merely nodded my head again. Jake sat there tense beside me and when it came to his order he snapped it out rudely. Richard of course was calm and collected and very likely even amused as he quietly placed his order.
Silence fell again and I started to fidget. I wished someone would just say something. I wished I could but I couldn't. I would burst into tears if I tried. I thought of escaping to the washroom but even that was too much of an effort for me at the moment. I felt drained. Wiped out. I was sure if it hadn't been for where I was and whom I was with I would be curled into a ball weeping in a corner. Pathetic but true.
A hand reached out to wrap about my own fidgeting fingers. I looked up then to see Richard's concerned look. Even though I loved him still and Jake was being an ass I still couldn't find it in me to revoke my decision. Richard was too....too much for me. He was so much more then I could ever be. With Jake, I had a common ground we could build on but with Richard there was a mountain, most of it of our own making, that sat solidly between us.
I think my thoughts must have flickered across my expressive face for Richard's eyes darkened with a realisation that I still meant what I said. His warm palm slowly disengaged from my hand and I shivered from the loss of that slightest contact.
He sat back in his chair and stared intently at me before he wrapped his fingers around the stem of his wine glass and lifted it up to me in a toast. Then his lips closed over its rim and he took a controlled sip of the rich brew.
I shuddered in reaction. He just had that effect on me. A sound at my side showed me that Jake had noticed and was not happy. But to hell with Jake.
I stood up then to leave. A hand instantly reached out to wrap about my own.
"Where are you going?" Jake asked quietly.
"The ladies," I said after a pause in which something vulnerable in his eyes caught my attention and made me give in. I would give him another chance.
He nodded," I'll go with you."
I stared back in surprise but he was already up having wrapped his hand about my wrist and tugging me after him. As soon as we turned a corner, out of sight of the other occupants of this restaurant he had me slammed up against the wall and his lips on mine with almost bruising force. I tasted the desperation of his kiss and knew he had been suffering as much as I. I forgave him and returned his kisses with my own to beg for his forgiveness.
"You were silent!" I accused snappily, as soon as his lips left mine. I was still hurting over his silence.
"I'm flawed," Jake murmured kissing across my jaw and down my throat.
"Rude and abrasive," I agreed before his lips returned to capture mine, no doubt to silence me. His hand fisted in my hair controlling my angle as he took the kiss to greater depths.
"But you love me anyway," he whispered huskily against my bruised lips. I breathed out a resigned sigh and admitted," I guess I really do. Why else w-".
But he cut me off again and I revelled in his efforts.
We were mindful of where we were and drew apart with great reluctance. I left him there pouting after me as I went to repair the damage his roving hands did to my hair and person.
When I returned to the table the meal was already served and waiting. The men were making small talk in my absence. Apologising for my delay, I took my seat. My hunger was back with a vengeance.
I appeared to have ordered a plate of beef cheeks so I dug in with relish. Mid-meal I looked up to catch Richard's hungry gaze on me. I winced at the hurt within its depths. Having only just experienced what I had assumed was rejection from Jake I had a fresh appreciation of what he felt. My hand reached out of its own accord to wrap about his.
Jake made a disparaging sound beside me but I threw him a look that beseeched for his understanding.
"You're pushing it," Jake stated firmly so I released my hold on Richard's hand and turned back to my meal.
"She is mine," Jake declared over my bowed head shocking me that he would make this claim public now.
"Correction, she is my date. This is our lunch date that you are crashing. Lucy may have said she intends to be with you but I haven't stated the reason why I called her out to lunch in the first place. On the off chance that this may be our last lunch together I-"
"Leave!" Jake rudely interrupted what Richard was about to say and stared at me with unflinching determination. He wanted me to leave.
I was torn.
I wanted to hear what Richard had to say but I had declared to both of them that I picked Jake... so I stood up then and turned to leave.
"Fuck it! She's not your bloody bitch to be ordered about as if-"
"You stay out of this. She won't be listening to anything you have to say. You stuck your foot in once before and I stood back but not this time. You have no intentions of following through on having anything with her so stop the fuck in leading her on," Jake shot back unhappily.
I didn't want them to fight so I did something that shocked me. I turned back and was at Jake's side in a few short strides. I reached down to thrust my fingers into his soft hair. Attaining a satisfying grip I wrenched his head back then I leaned down and planted my lips on his. His mouth parted hungrily undermine and I drank from him as if parched. Wrenching my head back I asked him the only question that mattered, "Do you trust me?"
Jake stared up at me silently before he rose to his feet and with a caressing brush of his fingers across my cheek he said," I'll see you at home."
I watched stumped as he calmly strode out the restaurant. Feeling curiously drained I grabbed at the chair and gingerly lowered myself onto its support.
We both sat there in silence not eating just staring at each other for a long while after that then abruptly Richard reached up a hand to snap his fingers.
"I'll take you home," he said to me before addressing the waitress that appeared at my side," Can I have the bill?"
With a pleasant murmured agreement she scuttled off to fetch the bill and I sat there still winded by the emotional upheaval that just took place.
I tuned out of reality to loose myself in my own contemplation but the efficient waitress was back all too quick and then Richard was at my side reaching out to tug me to my feet.
We walked in solitude to the car that miraculously appeared just as we stepped on to the pavement. The usher reached out to open my door. I swung one heel clad foot in and let the momentum swing my body forward as I slid my ass in to settle onto the lush folds of the Bentley.
I sighed in relief as if all my distraught were simply due to being apart from the car. I let my head drop back against the seat and I closed my eyes and tried not to melt all over the plush seat. The door to my side silently swung open. Gathering my backbone I stiffened my spine and held myself straighter bracing myself
for something.
But Richard said nothing. He simply threw the car into gear and we were on our way. I threw surreptitious glances his way as I tried to broach the topic on my mind. Then finally I simply blurted it out.
"Why did you ask me for lunch?"
Richard turned to glance swiftly at me before he turned back to face the road ahead. The silence stretched on. I wondered if he hadn't heard or if he thought I meant something else. I didn't know.
I was just beside myself with all this wondering. The tires slid silently across the newly tarred roads. I watched the road disappear beneath it as the Bentley ate up the distance with minimal effort. We would be home soon. I started to panic knowing this could be the last time I ever had in Richard's company. But then we were there and he was pulling up before my home. I turned frantically to look at him one last time but he kept his eyes trained on the road ahead and his lips drawn tightly over gritted teeth. I winced from the pain unfolding within and reached out blindly to unlock the door.
Strong fingers gripped my arm stilling my actions, holding me back. I turned back to face him surprised to find his face so close to mine.
I tilted my head up knowing what he wanted. Knowing what I needed. I offered up my lips to him for one last time. We melted into each other like butter on warm toast. The sensuality of his scent, feel and slow strokes worked to undermine my resolve ...but.... I remembered. Jake.
I drew back slowly, my efforts hindered as he kept coming after my lips. Chasing after them and entrapping them with his own. Drawing me in each time till I remembered to struggle away again and again until I was pressed up against the door unable to retreat further. Not wanting to retreat… ever. But then it was he who pulled back slowly to stare down at me. I gazed steadily back into his swirling dark depths. Loosing myself into his hold but then he spoke. An answer to my earlier question.
