If only she understood the only things I ever received that I cherished were my silver cross necklace and my stake, both given to me by my father. I never cared about fancy electronics or clothes. Still, it would have been nice to have received something.
I grab the sides of the box, using both my hands to hold it. The box is thick. It takes my full grasp to keep it on my lap without Jasik’s assistance. I do not think about the fact that this might just be because I am literally this weak now. Maybe it has come to a point when I can barely hold on to a simple box.
Furrowing my brow, I shake the box around, listening as something inside moves. Jasik chuckles beside me, but I ignore him. I probably seem very childlike right now, but I do not care. I am having fun—for once.
“It sounds…soft,” I say, even though I am not really speaking to anyone in particular. Still, I make my mental notes aloud for all to hear.
“It might be,” Jasik responds, trying his best to be as vague as possible. It is only slightly annoying.
I shake it again, and something moves. I gnaw on my lower lip, trying to guess the contents without actually opening the box.
“You know, if you just open it—”
“Hush,” I say, interrupting him as I continue my mental assessment.
What would Jasik get me? When did he even have time to buy something? I do not remember him ever leaving the manor except for his patrols, and I can’t imagine him ignoring his duty to go shopping. I wonder if Hikari has confided in him my requests. My heart sinks a little. I do not know why I am ashamed, but I am. I hate that I have to cake makeup on my skin to feel…pretty, normal, just like my old self.
There is a bright crimson-colored ribbon wrapped around the box. It is twisted into a perky, full bow at the center. The color reminds me of Jasik’s eyes—and of blood. I swallow hard, feeling my pulse race as I think about my formerly liquid diet. I do not crave blood the way I used to, but I desire the way it made me feel when I drank it. I have not felt that…power, that yearning since I hexed my coven.
Slowly, I unravel the bow. The ribbon is so silky smooth, it glides from the box the way blood drips down skin. I lick my lips as I remember the way it would coat my mouth as I drank deeply.
When one strand is free, I unravel the other one, twisting until the ribbon falls from my hands and lands in a heap on the floor. Jasik scoops it up, placing it on my bed beside him. He watches me intensely, his eyes a bright, fiery red. I feel my pulse race, my skin burning.
I wiggle the lid free, letting it fall to the floor as I stare at the contents. This time, Jasik does not clean up my mess. He stares fiercely as I take in his gift.
I suck in a sharp breath, my eyes burning at the sight. Placed inside the box are four things. One pair of black boots, already laced and ready for my feet to simply slide inside. The other is a black, military-style jacket, folded neatly, the cusp of the leather pristine and shiny. Atop that is a sparkly chain, and beside that is another box, sleek and black. I have seen all of these items before.
I run my hand over the boots, letting my fingertips graze each curve until I reach the jacket. I grab on to the fabric, squeezing it so tightly in my hand, my knuckles turn white. When I release it, I sit back and meet Jasik’s gaze, swimming with emotions I can barely keep them in check.
“They are exactly the same,” I whisper to him.
He smiles softly, nodding. “It took longer than I anticipated, but I found everything you lost that day.”
“How? When? Why…” I trail off. So many questions are fluttering through my mind. I do not know where to begin.
“I know how important these were to you, and after you…” Jasik sighs. “These are not simply clothes, Ava. Like your necklace and your weapon, they are extensions of you. When you wear them, you become more confident in yourself. That confidence is what you are lacking now. It is what you are missing. You are still that same girl I met that night. You just do not see yourself the way I do. I think this might help.”
I swallow the knot that forms and sniffle. I turn away from Jasik and stare at his gift to me. He is not simply gifting me clothes and shoes and jewelry. He is giving me back everything I lost that night.
After Liv died and I cursed my coven, I walked away from them, intent on never returning. I ignored their pleas as I put more and more distance between us. Eventually, they fell silent. I did not hear their cries or their screams for me to return, to reverse the spell. They were angry, but most importantly, they were pained.
I know that agony, because when they severed the vampire from the witch, I felt it too. That hollowness, that emptiness, that feeling of uselessness. I lived with those very emotions the day they used black magic against me. It was their time to suffer now. They needed to understand my desperation.
But the moment I returned to the manor, with the vampires in tow, I still felt…broken. I did not like who I became or what the witches made me do. Because when I spelled them, I cursed myself in that very same breath. Now, the vampire really is gone. I did not simply suppress the vampire or the witch, I stifled them. I silenced them. I became human in a world doused with magic.
That night, I stripped from my clothes, I tossed them in a waste bucket, and I set them on fire. The vampires surrounded me, watching in awe as I severed my very last links to my family. I ripped my cross from my neck and threw it in the fire too. I dropped my stake into that bucket, and I never looked back.
But now, these things stare back at me. My cross glistens in the low lighting, positioned directly beside a thin, black box.
“I was able to find a similar cross, chain unbroken, but that is your same stake,” Jasik confides.
Confused, I look up at him, frowning. “How? How did you manage this? When did you do this?”
“After you went to bed that night, I cleaned up the mess, emptying the bucket. The stake was unharmed. Dirty from soot but otherwise okay. I cleaned it off and stored it, hoping, in time, you would ask me to get you another one. I always planned to return it to you when you asked for it.”
“But I never asked for it back,” I admit.
“I know, but I could tell you yearned for it. These things are part of you, and that scares you because you think you are different now. You think you are no longer a warrior, but you are. You are still you. You are still that strong, confident, smart, beautiful girl who looked at me and asked me to turn you into the very creature you feared most. All because you were willing to offer the only thing you had left to save your family. You have always been fearless and selfless, Ava, even now. Even when you are scared.”
“You saved it for me?” I ask, awestruck. “And you still replaced these things for me? Even after all this time, you still believed I would come to my senses and want them back?”
“I knew you needed them, even if you did not, and I was willing to wait for you,” he says. “After speaking with Will, I knew this was the time to return them. I wanted you to have everything you need while you make your decision.”
My heart swells, tears threatening to fall. Jasik is right. I did need this. Like any good superhero with a cape and costume, I needed these clothes. They were my armor. Whenever I dressed in them and went out patrolling, I felt confident and safe, like these clothes alone provided some form of essential protection against my enemies. They did not, of course, but I was able to convince myself otherwise without even trying.
“I will not ask you to complete Will’s spell,” Jasik says. “I will not ask you to join me in this eternal life. And no matter what you choose, whether you get your powers back or not, I will support you, and I will protect you until my dying breath.”
“Do you want me to complete the spell?” I ask, even though I know the answer.
Jasik is silent for a moment. He frowns, letting his gaze fall. When he finally looks at me again, his eyes are heavy.
“I want you to make this decision for yourself, not for me or for Will or for anyone else. It is important that you are happy w
ith your decision, because whatever you choose will alter your life forever. I just hope you know that regardless of your decision, I will be happy, and I will always be here for you.”
I drop the box, letting the contents fall onto the ground in a messy heap. I lean over, pulling Jasik to me, guiding his lips to mine. I run my hand through his hair, tangling my fingers in the locks, bunching the strands within my fists as I grip to hold him tighter, terrified he might pull away, even though I know he would never risk this connection. We might be a broken pair, but our bond is still there.
The moment our lips touch, something sparks within me. Jasik makes me feel safe when he is near, but I also feel whole. Never have I felt such intense love for another person before. I know Jasik will die for me; he would kill for me. Our bond is true and strong—something no curse or hex or black magic could ever break.
I moan as I move closer to him, enjoying his scent, his taste. He smells like cinnamon and summer air, and he tastes like mint and blood. I do not crave it the way I used to, but it tastes delectable on his breath. I could lose myself in Jasik’s embrace, and that is the only darkness I welcome. Jasik is a beacon of light—one that will forever chase away the shadows.
Jasik pulls me close, and I open for him, resting my legs on either side of his as I straddle his lap. He mumbles my name breathlessly before he kisses me again. I love the way he speaks to me, the way he softly touches my skin, making sure he never hurts me, making me feel strong and beautiful, powerful with him beside me. I crave every part of his embrace.
He lifts me in his arms and stands, spinning around so he can place me gently on my bed. He is hovering over me, his eyes burning brightly against his pale, smooth skin. The crimson pools of his irises look almost neon now.
I kiss him again, nibbling playfully on his lip, and he laughs softly, exposing his fangs. My heart races when I see them, an ever-constant reminder of what I have lost.
As Jasik holds me, kissing me softly, whispering promises as bursts of air from the ceiling fan brush against my exposed skin, I lose myself in him, in his embrace, in his touch, in his taste. Always gently, Jasik never rushes me, allowing me to explore my emotions and desires only when I am ready.
When his cool skin brushes against my own burning desires, I know everything will be okay. As long as Jasik and I are together, love will always prevail. I tell myself my world is not crumbling, the witches are not prey to vengeance, and everyone I love is safe and happy. We are not at the brink of war. I have not lost my powers. In Jasik’s arms, he reminds me that I am beautiful and strong and precious.
I lose myself in Jasik because I know that is the very place I will find myself again. His devotion, his love, his desires all match my own. With each touch, with each kiss, I feel the weakened parts of my soul grow stronger. Every moment of pain is consumed by him. He withstands the brunt of that fury so I do not have to, leaving me only with the euphoric experience of having him so near.
And when Jasik tells me he loves me, I say it back. Because I do love him. From the very depths of my soul to the fleshy curves of my heart, I am utterly in love with Jasik. I think I loved him the very first time I saw him. I loved him the moment he flashed his crimson eyes at me and promised he could save my life. Even back then, I think he loved me too.
I think that is why he risked everything to save me that night. It scares me to know Jasik has wormed his way into my heart, because the harder I love him, the greater the pain will be when I lose him.
Hours later, when I wake, Jasik is still lying beside me, but he is not sleeping. He is resting behind me, body pressing against my own. Using his fingertips, he traces invisible designs along my bare skin. I shiver under his soft touch. He leans forward and kisses my skin gently where he was just touching.
I turn around to face him. I am lying on my back so I can see him more clearly. Jasik is perched up on an elbow, using one hand to hold his head upright while the other caresses my skin.
In this light, he is beautiful. I smile at him, but he does not see me. He is too busy focusing on his artwork. I giggle when he brushes a particularly sensitive spot, and I glance down, finally seeing my body through his eyes.
I suck in a sharp breath as I stare at the tiny black veins that coat my skin. Internally chastising myself for being so stupid, I tear my gaze away from the secrets I have been keeping to meet Jasik’s eyes. He looks at me now, not bothering to hide the pain there.
“I am sorry,” I whisper, knowing those words will fall flat. While I am sorry, I am not sorry for the right reasons. I am not sorry I kept the secret. I am only sorry he found out before I was ready to tell him.
The vampires know I am getting worse. I am thinning, my vision is blurry, I am not as hungry as I once was, I fall far too often, I get dizzy spells when I stand, I vomit a tarry substance that seems to move on its own… The list goes on and on. But for some reason, I have been hiding this small part of my transition. The worst part is I do not even know why I felt the urge to keep it a secret from Jasik. I just…did.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jasik asks, clearly hurt. His fingers trace the sprawling patterns, as if they are merely tattoos spanning my skin.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. My voice breaks as I speak.
I know this is not the answer he wants to hear, but he does not push it further. Instead, we sit in silence, both staring at my disfigured body, both wondering how much longer I have to consider my options before this evilness inside of me steals my choices from me. I only have so much time before the darkness will win.
We are still, both afraid to speak but equally afraid to break this moment, to walk away and pretend it never happened. This is important. We must talk about it. But we are both too scared to be the one to admit just how serious my situation has become.
A crashing noise jolts us awake. Before I can react, Jasik is out of bed, throwing on his clothes. He reaches the door in the blink of an eye, but before Jasik leaves, he turns back, like he is seeing me for the first time.
I blink again, and he is beside me. He thrusts his lips against mine. His kiss is rushed and hard; his lips smack against me almost painfully. I am still forming a kiss by the time he is pulling away.
“Get dressed,” Jasik orders. “It is not safe here.”
I nod, pulling the covers even tighter around me, as if they can protect me from what is happening downstairs. Someone screams, a heart-piercing bellow that ends abruptly. The manor is silenced. I glance at the bedroom door and then back at Jasik, my heart beating so fiercely, it is painful. My chest burns, my throat dry. I have never been so terrified in my life.
I watch as Jasik is torn between leaving my side to aid the vampires and staying with me, to protect me from whatever might come crashing through my bedroom door.
“You must go,” I say to him, even though the words physically pain me, as if they lash out, slicing through skin.
Again, Jasik looks from the door and back to me. I imagine he is playing through different scenarios of how he can make this work—as both the manor’s protector and my lover—but each idea falls flat. There is no magic cure. He cannot be in two places at once. Jasik must choose, as much as it pains him to do so. And I do not want him to choose me.
“Go!” I shout.
Jasik flinches. Once again, my words lash out—this time at him. His eyes are wide, but I still see the pain behind them. He cannot hide his emotions, especially not from me. Not now. Not after last night.
“They need you,” I say. My voice is screechy and raspy as panic envelops me in its sweet embrace.
“You are more important,” Jasik admits.
“You cannot protect me if everyone else dies,” I say. My reality is harsh, but it is true. What if Jasik is the deciding factor here? What if he alone can prevent the tables from turning?
“Promise me you will not leave this room,” Jasik says. “You will not open that door for anyone but me. Promise me, Ava.” His voice is hard and loud. He tries to hid
e his emotions, but I hear the panic in his words.
“I promise,” I say, and I do mean it.
And with that, he is gone. The door slams behind him, and I envision him disappearing down the hall and leaping down the stairs, landing in the sitting room and engaging in a battle I should also be fighting. I do not know what is going on, but I am confident the witches are yet again waging war. I just hope the vampires can beat them without me.
The constant thumping of feet slamming against hardwood echoes all around me. Someone is running down the hall, and when the intruder reaches my bedroom, the noise stops. My door opens, and I shriek. Silenced only when I see Malik’s face. His eyes are hard as his vision sweeps over me. I am still in bed, clutching the sheets as a cocooned shield of protection around my naked body.
Malik tears his gaze from mine and scans the room. Without a word, he exits, slamming the door behind him. Again, I hear footsteps until they fade away, the silence growing so loud, it hurts my head.
I am shaking, my teeth chattering painfully against each other. I do not know how much time has passed. Probably only minutes, but it feels like hours. I hear screaming coming from downstairs, their shrieks so vivid, it feels as though I am watching as their lives end right before my eyes.
I hate this. I hate that I am so weak, the vampires must offer their lives to protect me. Someone is waging war, and the vampires are fighting my battles while I sit in my room, cowering in the corner, praying no one finds me here. Because I can’t protect myself. Not like this. Not when I can barely walk down the stairs without tripping. I am angry, and for once, I hate my life with a fiery passion.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I jump to my feet, yanking off the covers. A burst of cold air assaults my naked form, and I shudder as I make my way through my bedroom. I pull on clothes, whatever is within arm’s reach. I run to my bedside, falling to my knees in a painful heap as I sift through the piles of sheets and blankets on the floor. Finally, I reach my present. I pull on my jacket and slip on my boots. I clasp my necklace around my neck and grab hold of my stake.
Dark Curse Page 7
