by Rula Sinara
Hope held up her hands in defeat and sighed. She rubbed the back of her tightly cropped hair. There was more salt-and-pepper to it than he recalled. Maybe he hadn’t been paying attention the past few months. Or maybe the Serengeti sun left nothing hidden. Her cheeks were less full and the creases at the corners of her eyes had deepened. Had he done this to her?
“I’ll go let Mac know,” Hope said, walking off before he could muster an apology.
Lexi rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“Lend a hand? Really? You must have been a comedian in a past life. And, yes, I’m being sarcastic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure we could use whatever help you’d like to offer, but only if you want to. Help is welcome but not needed. We all have our limits around here,” she said, resting a hand on her very expanded waistline for emphasis, “but we’re pretty good at working together and covering for each other when necessary. We’re used to not counting on anyone but ourselves.”
Was she referring to everyone or to herself as plural, since she was pregnant? He bit back an equally snarky remark.
“I’m sorry if my humor offended you.”
“Me? I don’t pay attention to bad jokes. They’re not worth my time. But I think you hurt your mother and, the thing is, we all love Dr. Hope around here. We’ve all witnessed how run-down she’s been since your injury, though she never complains or admits to it. She’s a strong woman, and my wild, first-impression guess is that you were a handful as a kid, so she had to be.”
A twisted smile spread across Chad’s face. This Lexi had spunk. Now he understood why Tony had fallen for her. He’d always been one for a challenge, medical school and all. Chad figured it must have just taken him a while to figure out he liked women who could challenge him, too.
“A handful? I can’t deny that,” he said.
“Thought so.” Lexi’s eyes darkened and she scanned the expanse of savannah grasses that rolled toward a mountain range in the distance. “I—we—do appreciate that you served and all you sacrificed in doing so. You...um. You knew my husband.”
Chad nodded because he had no idea where to start. She’d said it as a statement but he knew she wanted and needed more. She’d opened the door, offering him the perfect opportunity to give his condolences, to honor Tony the way he deserved. But he couldn’t seem to get the words out.
Memories he hadn’t recalled in years spewed like water from a broken pipe and crashed against his temples. The time Tony broke his leg trying to save a cat when they were thirteen. Tony’s first schoolboy crush...and Chad having to break the news to his friend that she wasn’t into guys. And then the time he’d told Chad he’d met “the one.” He’d been talking about Lexi.
She glanced up at him expectantly and then back across the dry grasslands.
There was something about her. Something that made him want to share all those times, like an unspoken circle of trust. Tony had loved and trusted her. Perhaps, subconsciously, that was making Chad assume he could, too. Or maybe it was because he knew she cared. He could see that in the way her eyes glistened and cheeks flushed as she turned away.
“We were best friends growing up. He was an amazing guy and friend. I’m sorry for your loss,” he said.
She swallowed, drawing his attention to a pair of wedding bands held against the base of her throat by a silver chain.
“Me, too. For both of us. Your parents told me you and Tony had been close. Back when I interviewed for this position, I mentioned I was a widow and Hope recognized the name,” she explained.
Guilt gnawed its way down his spine. She didn’t know, then, that their friendship had gotten Tony killed...that the other man had trusted him...and Chad had urged and convinced him to join the marines. He had convinced Tony that the financial benefits and experience were worth it, and that studying medicine while in the military would be far cheaper than going to a regular medical school. He had even pointed out that the training and time in the field would better prepare Tony when he pursued his dream to provide medical care off the grid in Kenya’s Serengeti. If it hadn’t been for Chad, Tony would have never been at that field hospital. He’d have never been killed.
She wasn’t aware that Chad had as good as sealed Tony’s fate long before she’d ever married him.
But telling her would be selfish. He’d be doing it for the sake of confession, to try to lighten the weight of his own guilt. But for her, he’d be reopening a painful wound. It wasn’t right to do that, let alone to a pregnant woman. He’d promised Tony he’d make sure she was okay. Upsetting her to that degree wouldn’t help her. Still, guilt pounded at his temples.
Chad’s right arm burned and he reached over with his left hand but caught his action in time to grip his right shoulder instead. He needed his water bottle. A bead of sweat trickled down the back of his neck and he tried shrugging away the sensation.
“Are you okay?” She started to reach her hand out but he took two steps away.
“I’m good,” he snapped. “I just want to get something from my backpack over there, then take a look around,” he said, taking several more steps toward his bag that was set on a wooden stool outside the bungalow.
“I can swing the jeep around.”
“Not necessary. I can check things out on my own two feet. It won’t take long to find out what I need to know.”
“The jeep would probably be safer and faster. Hope said to show you the area. If you’re going to look around, you should do it right. I don’t want you to do a cursory evaluation then tell your dad it’s not safe.”
“Or maybe if you drive me around fast enough, I’ll miss the signs of danger and tell everyone you’ll all be fine and the place stays open for business. Is that the plan?”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. Maybe it’s in your nature to give people a hard time, but the fact is, I loved and trusted Tony. Same goes for your mom. And they both trusted you. So, regardless of your ornery attitude and only having met you, I trust you, too...at least to do what’s right and to do your job well.”
She trusted him? The phantom pain reached higher and wrapped around his neck like bony fingers strangling him. Punishing him. He gritted his teeth and glanced at her sneakers. He couldn’t look her in the eyes.
Tony had trusted him to make sure Lexi was safe. If his friend had known about the baby, Chad was sure he’d have included the child in that promise. Oh, yes, Chad would be thorough all right.
“My father sent me out here to do a job and I will do it. However, I trust you can understand that I prefer to work on my own. You wouldn’t want me looking over your shoulder and telling you how to be a nurse, would you?”
“I have plenty to keep me busy around here. We have a critical patient I could be helping right now instead of standing here listening to you being rude. And for the record, my driving the jeep doesn’t constitute trying to do your job.”
“Okay, fine. But let’s get something straight. Our definition of doing what’s right might be a tad different. I find any sign that an escaped poacher is still around or that this clinic has serious vulnerabilities to potential, dangerous threats, you’ll be closing up shop until the problem is solved. That’s how I do what’s right.
“And from what I’ve seen from just standing here, you should start packing. This place has zero security. Anyone could walk down that path at any time, or hide strategically behind those bushes and grasses. That clinic tent backs onto more trees and shrubs. A poacher could sneak up from behind it. Not to mention your lax internal security. Is everything locked up in there? Has anything gone missing?”
Lexi stared at him.
“That wasn’t a hypothetical question,” he said.
“No. Nothing is missing. We’ve been going through supplies faster than someone could steal them. There was one misplaced bottle of peroxide this morning, but it’s probably in the mobile clinic van. If someone was
stealing, they would grab a lot more than a single bottle of peroxide.”
“Have someone check the van when we get back.”
He climbed into the front left passenger seat of the jeep, trying his hardest not to fumble or misstep. Lack of coordination would make him look weak and undermine his authority. He tried to keep his eyes ahead as Lexi climbed in and adjusted the seat to accommodate her belly. Obviously, either Taj or Jacey had been the last ones to use the jeep.
She backed up. Then, avoiding the path leading to the camp, she veered left and drove straight past the mango trees and toward a small, rock-studded hill less than a quarter of a kilometer northwest of the clinic camp.
A single, lonely acacia tree graced the top of it like one of those paper umbrellas used for decorating fancy drinks. Only there was nothing fancy about this place. He hadn’t seen the hill from the camp. The view would have been blocked by the trees flanking the exam tent, but he did recall seeing a hill and some outcroppings from the chopper. The rest of the area spread into farmland and savannah prairies, with the occasional tree dappling the landscape. He had to admit, Lexi was smart. She knew exactly where he’d want to go.
“A vantage point,” he called out over the engine noise in acknowledgment of her plan.
“A sensible starting point. Some people get so obsessed with the details that they lose sight of the big picture.” She pressed her lips together and gave him a quick side glance.
No comment.
She didn’t know him well enough to make a statement like that. Not that she was necessarily directing it at him personally, but it sure felt that way. Granted he was more self-conscious and sensitive lately—two words that would never have come remotely close to describing his old self.
“I’m not sure what my mother has said about me, but I assure you, I don’t need you to play psychologist. I’m sharp enough to see the details and the big picture and to read between the lines. So, with all due respect, save your nursing for your patients.”
“My, you’re a piece of work,” she said, stopping at the top of the ridge and turning off the ignition. She slid out of her seat and slammed the door shut, sending a nearby flock of quail scattering into the air. “I get that you’re one of those big, strong, good-looking, superhero-type guys, but that doesn’t mean the world centers around your ego. I don’t play games. If I think you’re being narrow-sighted or pigheaded, I’ll tell you so, flat-out. My intent in bringing you up here is to show you that we are fine, will be fine and shouldn’t be shut down.”
He got out and cocked his head at her.
“Thanks for the ride. I’ll take it from here.”
He turned on his heel, tightening his left hamstring to keep his balance. He could feel her staring at his back as he left her standing there, judging him. He didn’t care.
He scanned the almost three-hundred-sixty-degree view below. The clinic had both grasses and trees surrounding it in various places, like the grassy clearing to the east where Mac had landed his bird. He spotted the path most patients took up to the clinic, stretching many kilometers south of them. It was flanked mostly by grazing fields and farm plots with rows of grain. There were five different enkangs that surrounded the camp in the distance, though not in a perfect circle by any means. Far, yet within walking distance.
It was hard to miss the clusters of mud-, urine- and-straw-plastered huts topped with thatched domed roofs. A thorny acacia-branch fence formed a protective thicket around each of the homestead villages. The Masai women, men and children, dressed in their famously vibrant colors, dotted the earthy hues of the drought-stricken landscape like precious gems. The stark opposite, it occurred to him, of the camouflage he’d been accustomed to in the war-ravaged regions of Afghanistan.
His sister, Maddie, who used her position as a lawyer to fight for the human rights of Kenya’s indigenous tribes, had used that word. Precious. She’d said that the Masai and other tribes were precious, and the beauty of their culture and the people were in danger of being lost to the greedy. His mother had devoted her life to helping the Masai, too. As was Lexi. And here he was, ready to get in the way. Who was the enemy here? He’d grown up in this place and everything—from the people to the surroundings—was a part of him. But whose side was he on now? Protecting Lexi would mean taking critical care away from others. She was right.
He worked his jaw and walked toward a boulder-like outcropping that was blocking his view to the south. He heard the crunch of a boot against rocky soil behind him. Her gait was uneven and slow. He didn’t turn but he didn’t stop listening, either. How much walking was a pregnant woman supposed to do? Was there a limit?
He edged around a boulder, bracing his left hand against it for stability. All he could see beyond it were groves of trees and shrubbery splintered apart every so often by meandering, dry creek beds and rocky outcroppings. Excellent hiding places. A virtual paintball field, just like the ones he, Tony and a few other friends used to let loose on back in the States before they’d been deployed and split up.
Only here in the Serengeti, if someone—like a poacher—was using those thickets and boulders as cover, the game would be a dangerous and potentially deadly one. His mind instantly traced the path of least resistance, connecting shrub and rock like the numbered dots in one of those coloring activity books he’d used as a kid. And one particular outcropping caught his attention.
It stood like a work of art. A natural sculpture of three different boulders set against one another. Perfect cover. Something tiny glinted in the sunlight near the base of the formation. He felt a twinge in his solar plexus and squinted, but a faint wisp of a cloud passed in front of the sun. The glint was gone, but he was sure he’d seen it. He needed a closer look.
He felt his pocket and cursed himself silently for leaving his binoculars in his backpack. Lexi had distracted him. He preferred that reasoning to the possibility that he was losing his touch. He’d have never been caught unprepared prior to his injury.
Lexi’s footsteps stopped suddenly. He turned and caught her wincing and touching her side. For a moment he was in Kabul, on one of his early missions, not far from the embassy. A car bomb had detonated and shots were being fired. Screams pierced the air. A woman was running down the street, trying to find shelter. He saw the bullet hit her. She grabbed her side and crumpled to the ground.
In less than five seconds he was at Lexi’s side with his arm around her back, helping her to ease down onto a small boulder.
“What’s wrong? Are you in labor?” He quickly dried his forehead against his shoulder.
“What? No! I’m okay. I just need to sit a minute.”
“You’re not fine. You looked like you were going to pass out. When was the last time you drank water?” He knelt in front of her and touched her forehead. He wasn’t a doctor but he knew enough from his training. She wasn’t clammy and her eyes seemed okay. And, oddly, her cheeks went from pale to rosy as soon as he took his hand away. “I have my water in the jeep. Stay here.”
She grabbed his wrist.
“I had water. I drink all the time. Trust me, the frequent bathroom trips get old fast. I promise I’m okay. Show me a pregnant woman who never feels a moment of light-headedness and I’ll show you Super Woman. I’m making an entire human in here. He or she was also doing yoga stretches. I simply needed a second.”
He wiped his palm across his face. He’d seen horrific amounts of blood and gore in his life and had developed a stomach of steel out of necessity, yet the image of a mini-human stretching around inside her was enough to make him queasy. He rubbed at his chest then braced his hand on his belt.
“What in God’s name are you doing out here, Lexi? Do you really think Tony would have expected you to go through with this plan to live out here someday? Yes, he told me about his ten-year plan. But no way would he have wanted you doing this on your own. I knew him enough to be sure of that. He would
n’t want you in danger. He’d be furious if he suspected you were putting his child in danger.”
She went from rosy to a scary shade of red.
“You have no right to tell me what my husband would have wanted, nor is it your place to instruct me in how to live my life. And how dare you accuse me of putting my child in danger.” She pushed herself up and tugged her shirt down.
“There’s nothing out here for you, Lexi. There could be a dangerous man on the loose and, even if there wasn’t, there’s wildlife and—”
“To me, everything is out here. But I don’t owe you any explanations. It’s my life and I’m not an idiot or some damsel in distress— Ah. Don’t say it.” She held up a finger to shut him up. “For the record. I did not faint. And you can add to that record what’s not out here. There aren’t school shootings or drugs being sold on the corner or on the playground. There aren’t bullies, or peer pressures, or social media. And there aren’t reckless drivers. Danger comes in many forms. I know what I’m doing. And if you ever...ever...accuse me of not putting my child first I’ll take your—”
“Sorry. I’m sorry, that comment went too far.”
“You bet it did.” She stormed off toward the jeep muttering something he was probably better off not hearing.
He was getting too tied up in all this. Agreeing to come here had been a mistake. Staying here for even one night would be hell. Purgatory. A punishment he deserved, maybe, but he’d promised to protect her. Getting her out of here was the fastest way to make good on that promise. There was no way he could stick around longer than that.
She was too aggravating and stone-headed.
And she thinks you’re good-looking.
Why did that matter? It didn’t. It shouldn’t. It was just that she’d never mentioned the scars on his face, his limp or his missing arm. She seemed to look right past all of it, and that got to him. Did he want her to notice? Did he need her to acknowledge what he’d been through and how he was suffering? He abhorred pity yet, at the same time, did he want it? Expect it?
