by Rula Sinara
“You’re here!” Maddie came bounding outside. Haki stepped out from the glass door behind her and waved. He had a toddler propped on one hip. Maddie wrapped Chad in a big-sister hug. “You took long enough to get out here and visit.”
“I’m here now.”
“You look good, too,” she said, placing her palms on his cheeks. Leave it to a sister to embarrass him. He gently guided her hands away and looked toward Lexi.
“Maddie, this is Lexi. Or have you two actually met?” he asked.
“Only once, briefly,” Lexi responded. “I had just flown into Nairobi but I hadn’t moved to the clinic yet. I’m sorry, I think I was a bit distracted and flustered at the time.”
Maddie gave her a hug.
“No worries. It was a big, stressful move. It’s good to see you again. I’m so glad you could make it.”
Haki came over and shook Lexi’s hand as Maddie scooped their daughter from his arms.
“It’s good to have you here. Welcome.” He turned to Chad and grinned. Haki had grown up alongside Chad’s cousin, Pippa. He had been like family even before he’d married Maddie. “It has been a long time, man.”
“Too long. Sorry I missed the wedding.” Chad noticed Lexi glancing at him from the corner of his eye. He’d missed a lot of weddings and family events. His brothers’ graduations... Pippa’s wedding to some seismologist—he thinks the name was Dax—who came complete with twin, ten-year-old girls...his parents’ twentieth anniversary.
Haki did their old handshake—left-handed—then pulled him into a man hug. He slapped his back.
“Good to have you here,” Haki said.
Chad nodded his appreciation.
“This little one is Zoe. Named after our first mom,” Maddie explained to Lexi.
“A beautiful name and a sweetie pie.” Lexi let Zoe curl her hand around her finger.
Chad couldn’t help but stare. It was the first time he’d met little Zoe. Maddie hadn’t brought her daughter along when she’d visited him in Nairobi. She was a beautiful child. He could see bits of Maddie and Haki in her face, but there was something of his mother in there, too.
And something about the way Lexi lit up as she spoke to little Zoe gave him a warm feeling in his chest. This wasn’t her being a nurse, as kind and personable as she was with patients. This was her in mommy mode. Relaxed. Happy.
“Why don’t you come inside?” Haki said.
“Yes, come along,” Maddie put her arm around Lexi and walked her in as if they were old girlfriends. Then she turned back to Chad and mouthed I like her. Chad shook his head at her. This was not an introduce-his-new-girlfriend-to-the-family sort of visit. Maddie was well aware of that. He’d made it clear. At least he’d tried to. Knowing her, she’d probably claim the satellite phone reception had been bad.
He loved his sister. She’d overcome a lot after their mother had died. But struggling with selective mutism after that tragedy wasn’t the same as him losing his limb and career. She had been a kid. Kids were adaptable. Weren’t they? For the first time since his return, he was realizing just how much he missed being around her and his younger brothers, Ryan and Philip.
He followed everyone inside, not wanting to be the center of attention, and let Maddie lead Lexi in.
“Surprise!”
Lexi yelped and jumped back, slapping a hand to her chest. She started to step aside, and he realized she must have assumed this was a welcome-home party for him. But the coffee table was covered in gifts wrapped in various unisex baby designs.
He noticed the flush on her cheeks when she realized the party was for her. She covered her mouth and looked back at him.
“You knew?”
He shrugged and smiled at her and, for some reason, felt very proud of the fact he’d managed to surprise her.
“I can’t believe this,” she said. “Thank you, all. I don’t know what to say.” A tear escaped and she sniffed and wiped it away. Maddie gave her a hug. “Thank you so much. I didn’t expect to get a baby shower at all.”
“Mom was the one who first mentioned it, but we couldn’t have done it without Chad getting you to come along,” Maddie said.
“Thank you, Hope. And, Chad. You,” she said, shaking a finger at him, “are dangerously smooth. I never suspected a thing.”
“Skills.”
That earned him a laugh.
“And Jacey! How did you get here? We left you behind and Mac was with us.”
“Magic.” Jacey grinned and came to give her a hug.
“Lexi, you haven’t met Pippa.” Hope pointed out a sparkly eyed young woman with auburn, corkscrew-curly hair. She waved excitedly then put her arm around two identical girls.
“It’s so great to finally meet you, Lexi. Hi, Chad. These are my daughters, Ivy and Fern, and that’s my husband, Dax, by the kitchen,” Pippa said. Dax waved as he joined them and offered Lexi a glass of water.
Anna and her best friend Niara had raised both Pippa and Haki under rustic, rural conditions. She’d probably been putting ideas into Lexi’s head about raising a child off the grid.
“Nice to meet you, girls,” said Chad. “Pippa and Dax, I’m sorry I missed the wedding last year.”
“We totally understood. You’re here with us now and that’s all that matters.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Thanks,” Dax said, extending his hand and shaking Chad’s. “I’m honored to finally meet you.”
Pippa’s mother and Niara approached, along with Mac, his wife, Tessa, and their five-year-old son. The women gave him a hug then turned to Lexi. “Hi, Lexi. I’m Anna, Pippa’s mother, and this is Niara, Haki’s mom.”
Mac slipped behind his wife and put his hands on her shoulders. “And this here is my wife, Tessa, and our son, Tai.”
Lexi exchanged hellos.
“It’s so good to meet you all,” she said. “I’ve heard so much about all of you that I feel like I know you already. I’m just blown away by all of this.”
“Well, from what you do at the clinic, you deserve this and more. Today, my dear, you get to sit and be pampered,” Hope said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. “Come sit.”
Hope led her away from Chad and the group to a comfortable-looking armchair. Tai ran to her and began showing her his toy helicopter. The twins hurried to the kitchen island and began frosting a cake. Jacey stood off to the side, watching the kids from afar as Tessa stood talking to her.
Without Lexi beside him, Chad suddenly felt alone and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.
“Chad, I was about to show Mac the vet clinic and pens. Want to come?” Haki asked.
Chad glanced at Lexi. She smiled and he couldn’t help but smile back.
“Don’t worry, we won’t be long. Maddie said the food’s almost ready.”
Chad gave Lexi one last look, though he couldn’t have said why. Shaking off the pull to go to her, he followed the other men out the door.
* * *
“BREATHE, MAN. She’ll be okay in there,” Mac said with a laugh.
“I never said she wouldn’t be,” Chad said, scowling at him.
“Dare I say you looked like an expectant father in there?” Haki held up his palms to ward off an attack.
“Enough. Way off base, guys.”
If the guys were noticing something happening between Lexi and him, he seriously needed to step back and make sure he wasn’t leading her on.
“Okay, okay. We won’t mess with you,” Mac said.
“Speak for yourself.” Haki grinned. “Come on. I’ll show you around. I ended up hiring a couple of assistants, Ali and Johnathan. Huru and Noah used to come out to help at first, but now they’re off at college like Ryan and Philip.”
Noah was Pippa’s younger brother and Huru was Haki’s.
A dog, ba
sking by the pens, jumped up and ran to Haki.
“Hey, boy. Down. This here is Kashi. She lets us know if a predator is nearby. That fence helps somewhat, but it’s not foolproof.”
The fence was mostly posts and wire and only surrounded the area around the tin-roofed, one-story facility and pens, which wasn’t very large. Kind of like a small corral.
“You’re lucky the area here is clear. I thought about using wire fencing around the clinic to help secure it, but there are too many rocks and trees. We’d be tearing up habitat. I’m hoping acacia branch fencing like the Masai use around their homes will work. I wanted to talk to Maddie, to see if any of her connections can help me fund it by donating some food in exchange for labor.”
“She might be able to help.”
“You’re not worried about poachers out here?” Chad asked.
“There aren’t as many incidences this far from the border,” Mac said.
“He’s right. But just in case I always have someone around here when I’m out in the field, which is often, since the farmers can’t bring their entire herds here. We also have solid doors with good locks on the house, just in case,” Haki explained.
“You’ve done well for yourself,” Chad said.
“The way I see it, if you dedicate your life to helping others and follow your heart in the process, you can’t go wrong. Everything will fall into place,” Haki said.
The guy was smart. He’d always been way ahead of the rest, even as a kid. Maddie had been the only one able to challenge him, academically, in reading or even in a game of chess. The two had definitely been meant for each other from the start. Hard to believe Haki had almost married Pippa instead.
Helping others and following your heart. That’s what Chad had been doing as a marine and it had almost gotten him killed. But it had also led him to the clinic and to pursuing his hunch earlier in the week.
Maybe...just maybe. No. Was it even possible?
He was functioning better now than he had been during months of therapy in the States. He was driving. Maybe he could even learn to shoot again. Not as accurately as a sniper, but well enough to qualify for some level of duty. He’d never be Special Forces again, not with one arm and his limp, but maybe...just maybe...they’d let him serve again in some capacity. He’d heard of other vets, even injured, who were able to reenlist.
Maybe if he was lucky, they’d take him back.
It would be better for everyone, especially Lexi. And if he couldn’t find the injured poacher or secure the clinic before leaving, then she could always work at Hope’s office in Nairobi. She would understand...eventually.
* * *
THERE WAS BARELY enough room for all of the gifts in the bungalow. Four days later and gifts from the shower were still piled up in bags.
But Lexi felt like a million sparklers at a New Year’s or Independence Day celebration. The party had been amazing. Everyone had been so accepting, so warm toward her. Like she was part of a family. The family she’d never had but had always wanted.
She had to keep reminding herself that Chad’s family wasn’t hers to keep. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy their friendship.
She stacked some of the baby things. Yellow and green outfits, cloth diapers, a small basin carved out of teak—nothing like the plastic baby bathing tubs in chain stores or online. Oh, and several lovely and comfortable outfit basics that Maddie said she’d worn during her final month. Lexi finally had a shirt that didn’t feel or look stretched to the max over her belly.
And this kid was growing. She knew because there was movement, but not in the contorted, painful way. He or she didn’t have enough room to stretch that much anymore.
There was a tap at the door and Chad peered in.
“Here’s the last bag. Jacey told me to bring it in. By the way, is everything okay with Jacey?”
“Why do you ask?” Lexi took the bag and set it near the rest.
“I don’t know. Taj came up and started asking how things went and then all of a sudden Jacey handed me this bag and walked off.”
“I’ll talk to her. Between you and me, sooner or later she and Taj are going to have to admit they like each other.”
Chad shook his head.
“I still don’t see it.”
“It’s called being stubborn. I can’t believe they haven’t figured it out yet.”
Which couple was she really talking about?
“Whatever you say. I’m staying out of it.” Chad started to leave.
“Wait. Chad, I wanted to thank you.” She stepped up to him and kissed his cheek. His stubble scraped her lips and made her forget why she’d come so close...why she’d dared to kiss him. She moved away, but the warm sensation of his skin against hers lingered. “Um, so...thank you.”
“I didn’t really do anything.” He touched his cheek, then tucked his hand in the pocket of his jeans.
“That’s not true. You helped with the baby shower surprise, and it meant a lot to me. I didn’t even have a bridal shower. Not even a fancy wedding...just a small restaurant reception with colleagues. One of the nurses at work took pity on me, I think, and invited me out to dinner across the street from the hospital.”
“I can’t imagine you not having friends.”
“I tended to focus on work. And people in the hospital tended to come and go—acting like best friends one minute and as if they barely knew you the following week. I didn’t have time for that. But things have been different with you. You’re still here. You just introduced me to some of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life. I realize we started out rough, Chad, but I consider you a friend. I hope you know that. If you ever need anything, I hope you’ll trust me enough to come to me.”
Something changed in his face and his eyes darkened.
“As a friend or a nurse?”
“Either, I suppose.”
“Is that what this is about? Your need to do your job? To fix people? To show the scarred amputee that he can still have friends? I don’t want anyone’s pity, Lexi.”
She couldn’t move. Her throat tightened and any joy she’d been feeling fizzled away like a sparkler dunked in a bucket of water. She’d opened up to him and that’s the way he responded?
“You think I pity you? That’s what you see on my face right now? Pity?” Tears dampened her cheeks and she wiped them with the back of her hand. “This isn’t pity. This is gratitude. Beyond what you’ve done for me and this clinic, I also have profound respect for what you gave to save another soldier’s life. There’s a young man out there who is still alive because of you. Someone as brave as you might have—”
“Saved your husband, too? No, Lexi. I’m not the hero you’re making me out to be. Tony is dead because of me. You were right about one thing. Being a rural doctor in Kenya was his dream. Not joining the marines. He’d planned on taking the normal route to becoming a doctor—medical school, dedicating a few years to nonprofits to help pay for tuition.
“Me? I was born to be a marine. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t imagine my life as one. I urged him to join with me. I hammered the idea into him throughout high school. I didn’t let up because, to me, it was the plan that made sense. I didn’t stop to consider that maybe he’d agreed to my plan because he was that kind of friend. Not because it was in his heart and soul the way it was in mine. He was being loyal. He had my back and look what he got from me in return.”
“No.” Lexi shook her head slowly.
“Don’t you understand, Lex? He wouldn’t have been at that field hospital if not for me. He wouldn’t have had to spend months away from you. He would be here right now. I killed him. I told him to join the marines and it got him killed. I was reckless, fearless, invincible. I had no sense of mortality, not the way he did, until I finally spent time on the front lines and on special ops. By then, it was too late. Tony w
as already stationed. He was going to finish his tour soon anyway. I convinced myself he’d be fine. I faced more danger than he did at a field hospital. It was supposed to be a safe haven...just as you’d called this clinic.”
She dried her face with the hem of her shirt but the tears kept coming.
“You can’t blame yourself, Chad. You can’t reason your way into being guilty of Tony’s death. He was a loyal friend and husband, but he was a smart man, too. He had a mind of his own. What do you think drove him to study medicine? He had his mind set on living and practicing out here. On having his children grow up with a connection to their ancestors. He used to say the world was changing too fast. That not only were species like rhinos and elephants being driven to extinction, but that beautiful, unique cultures were, too, and that the only way to save them was to teach the next generations to appreciate them. To give back.
“Maybe you inspired him to join the marines, but he could have changed his mind if he’d wanted to. And even if he didn’t, he could have been discharged from the military alive and well. You couldn’t have predicted that attack any more than your father could have predicted a freak accident would kill your birth mother. You must know that. Tony had a goal, and he chose the path he felt was right to get there.”
“I pushed him down that path.”
She took his hand in both of hers and hugged it to the side of her belly as the baby gave a big kick.
“Everything happens for a reason and sometimes it’s beyond our comprehension. I truly believe that. I’d go crazy if I didn’t. I’d get stuck in the past. What good would it do if I sat around wondering why I conceived when I did? How could it possibly help me or my baby if I felt sorry for us? Or if I dwelled on the fact that I didn’t get to tell Tony we were going to be parents? I’ve chosen to be positive and proactive for my child. I know I’m lucky that I’ll still get to see a part of him every day of my baby’s life...that I’ll get to share memories of him with his child...with others who loved him, like you. Maybe, as awful as it is, this clinic was put in danger to draw us together so that Tony’s kid would get to know his Uncle Chad. I’m pretty sure Tony would want that.”
