by Sever Bronny
“Since birth,” Olaf replied. “Got worse when Mum left. Turned into a right ol’ grouch.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, it’s fine,” Olaf said. Then he awkwardly shuffled around, looking out the windows, as if not knowing what to do with himself. “Pa will be home soon.”
“Come have supper with us,” Leera said. “You too, Alyssa.”
Alyssa stuck her hands in the pockets of her emerald robe and shrugged. “Sure, why not. I got my stuff with me anyway. Never know with you lot.”
Olaf shook his head. “I … I shouldn’t. Besides, there’s no way for me to get to Arinthia—”
“How about Aug, Bridge and I huff it back to the academy, teleport over to Arinthia, then get Jez to pick you two up from in front of the Black Arena. Fair?”
Olaf glanced at Bridget uncertainly.
“You can help us boys plan our end of things,” Augum said. “The girls outnumber us, so we we’ll need all the help we can get. Come on, it’ll be fun, just like the old days.”
“Just like the old days,” Olaf muttered. Then he flashed a roguish smile. “Like when we were in the Sacred Brotherhood of the Academy of Arcane Arts.”
“Once a Brother, always a Brother.” Usually there was a Brotherhood meeting once per quint, but due to everything that was going on, there hadn’t been one in what felt like forever. The girls also had a secret and ancient traditional student organization that went by the name of the Sacred Sisterhood of the Academy of Arcane Arts. The trio had been inducted into both during the war.
“Once a Brother, always a Brother …” Olaf echoed. He looked to a beaming Bridget. “Screw it, I’ll grab my stuff and come.”
* * *
Jez pelted Leera with a small chunk of bread. “Stop exaggerating and tell the truth. It was probably closer to two.”
“Why do you always think I’m exaggerating? I’m telling you, it was twelve Whisper Blades, and they got their butts handed to them. Okay, it was eleven. One got away—after getting his butt handed to him, mind you. Aww, now look what you’ve done. Come back, Sir Pawsalot.”
Sir Pawsalot, who had jumped from her lap, glanced at her, shook himself, stretched one back foot at a time, and haughtily sauntered off.
“Actually, I think it was you who took a dart in the butt,” Haylee countered, then dodged the chunk of bread Leera threw.
They were in Haylee’s house, finishing up a rather raucous supper. Jez, sitting at the head of the table, was having a glass of water for a change and smiling merrily. She had spent all day preparing two things—gathering an excess of crowns for tomorrow’s due, and fine-tuning the plan to raid the Royal Armory. They had already compared notes, and Augum was proud of how far along the plan had come.
Augum and Leera sat together to her right, Bridget and Olaf to her left, and Alyssa and Haylee opposite. Servants Charles and Billy were clearing empty plates and refilling cups with water. Bridget had already caught Jez up on everything that had happened that day, including King Samuel’s Heart of the Colossus quest and what he had told them about Solia owing half its population as a blood debt, although the latter she had passed on in private so as not to ruin Haylee’s special day. And although Jez was alarmed, she agreed not to tell the others, promising to discuss it all in detail tomorrow.
“Sweet sixteen,” Jez said, shaking her head at Haylee. “I remember my sweet sixteenth womanhood party like it was yesterday.” She closed her eyes wistfully. “It was the first time I—” Then she realized what she was about to say and placed her chin on her fist and chortled delightedly. “Mmm, yeah, that was a good night.”
Alyssa feigned shock. “Ms. Terse, how scandalous.”
“Oh, pu-lease. Don’t think I don’t know what you all are constantly up to. Look at your guilty faces. Bunch of nasty teenagers is what you are.”
Alyssa tried not to crack a grin. “You overestimate what this lot is capable of. They can fight off twelve Whisper Blades yet blush while fumbling about trying to hold hands in public. Adorable—and rather pathetic.” She jabbed Haylee’s arm. “Today, this one’s life begins anew. Today, we find her—” She drummed the table dramatically and threw out her arms. “The man of her dreams!”
Leera snorted. “Look at the boys.”
“Blushing like summer apples,” Jez said, flicking two fingers of each hand at Olaf and Augum. They flinched for Jez had telekinetically flicked them on the cheek.
“Help,” Augum said to the door, deadpan. “Somebody. We’re prisoners and we can’t get out.”
“You’re outnumbered, mister,” Leera said. “You ain’t going nowhere.”
“Yeah, don’t make us remind you how that ridiculous manhood celebration of yours went,” Alyssa said, “with all that over-the-top male bonding bunk.”
“I’ll be good,” Augum quickly said, but it was too late.
“I mean, what sort of friends make you dance in a woman’s skirt while twirling men’s undergarments? Unseemly, I tell you.” Alyssa was laughing, as were the others, except for Olaf, who wasn’t moving, trying not to draw any attention to himself.
“I blocked that out of my memory for a reason, thank you very much,” Augum said, flashing Olaf a Kill me look. But he was grateful they hadn’t brought up his humiliating encounter with the pig’s trough.
The girls prattled on about this and that, needling each other as good friends oft did, and taking potshots at the boys, who knew better than to enter the fray. Augum’s thoughts drifted to what he had been avoiding thinking about. A quarter million lives. Even one life was too much. He thought of Eric, how he should have been here with them, enjoying the festivities. Of the slain assassins. Instead, here they were having a laugh as if nothing untoward had happened. It felt sacrilegious. Yet he understood the importance of the revelry. These were the traditions they were trying to save. It was something he had learned in the war. They had to take joy—which in war could be more precious than gold—wherever they found it, for their lives could be snuffed out at any moment, for any reason.
Still, a quarter million lives. His innards buzzed with anticipation for tomorrow, of what came next … the Royal Armory quest, and then the Arcaner course. And they had a tenday, or else …
There was a sharp banging on the door and the group tensed and fell silent. Sir Pawsalot jumped off the settee, where he had been snoozing peacefully, and ran upstairs.
The banging came again and Charles answered the door. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Katrina Von Edgeworth barged into the house, followed by Disciple Gritchards, two overseers and Ethios Kamagant The Butcher.
Haylee shot to her feet. “What do you want?”
“Some manners, to start,” Katrina said as her retinue fanned out to stand by the door, eyeing the group distrustfully.
“And it’s Princess Katrina, unless you want to be dragged off on your birthday crying like a little girl.” She wore a regal square-neckline amber dress, the cuffs and edges finely embroidered with gold thread. A mink coat was loosely draped across her shoulders and her glittering diamond tiara rested on shining dark hair.
“Quaint little hovel,” Katrina said as she strolled around the room, taking in her surroundings, holding an ornate scepter much like a housekeeper wielded a baton, one preparing to scold a recalcitrant servant. “So this is where you live. It’s like an old barn, isn’t it?” She made a show of sniffing. “Even smells like one. But then, there are animals here, aren’t there?” She chortled at her little barb. “Quite the fall from what you’re used to, I imagine.” She pinched a tasseled pillow and dropped it back on the settee. “Place is decorated as if by a peasant who yearns to one day rise from the squalor of the—” She paused, likely wanting to use a certain forbidden word. “—lowborn class,” she said instead, perhaps knowing that saying gutterborn too often would diminish her stature. “This is peasant gaudy, if you ask me.”
“So what do you want, Your Royal Highness?” Haylee asked m
ockingly. Haylee had once been a Katrina, someone who haughtily held herself above others, thus she saw right through such pretension.
Katrina examined Haylee from foot to head with a practiced sweep of subtle derision. “I would keep your eyes down, if I were you. A Path Disciple is present.”
Haylee glared mutinously, but when Gritchards stiffened to his full height, she dutifully sat back down.
Katrina smiled. “Good girl. If you please, Disciple Gritchards.”
Gritchards stepped forth and unrolled a small scroll. “ ‘Notice. All warlock residents of Arinthia are hereby forbidden to hold celebratory gatherings within Arinthia without the express written permission from the Honorable Countess Von Edgeworth. All gatherings within Arinthia must also further be approved and blessed by Disciple Gritchards, Head Path Disciple of the village of Arinthia. Signed, Countess Von Edgeworth, morning of the third day of the twelfth month, in the year of our heavenly lords, 3342.’ ”
Gritchards let the scroll roll back up with a shloop and glanced from face to face. “Ah, the coven of witches has assembled to celebrate their heathenish traditions.” His gaze stopped on Augum. “I told you that you would regret expelling me from my flock, young blasphemer. As for the rest of you, may I remind you that no woman may walk the grounds of Arinthia unaccompanied by a male. Failure to abide by any of these conditions will result in arrest and work detail.”
Katrina stepped near Haylee, placed her scepter under Haylee’s chin, and raised it. “Now I have a darling of a party to attend, celebrating my royal ascendance. Enjoy bathing in your squalor.” She moved to the door, her retinue ready to depart with her. But before she left, she looked back over her shoulder to say, “Oh, and happy birthday, honey.”
Haylee’s Womanhood Ceremony
“Was that the Katrina I’ve heard so much about?” Alyssa asked when they had gone. “Dang, what a snot bag.”
“The very same.” Haylee dropped her head onto her folded arms and sniffed. “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”
But Augum noticed Jez was holding back a smile. “You haven’t said anything,” he said to her. “What have you got up your sleeve?”
“Look at that devious grin,” Leera said. “You’ve been up to something today, haven’t you?”
Haylee raised her head, eyes brimming with hope.
Jez took a sip of water, one brow raised as her shoulders danced. “Maybe. Maybe not.” She put the glass down and rotated it on the table. “Let’s just say I could see what they were planning a league away.” Then she winked at Haylee.
Haylee brought her hands together as if in prayer. “You … you amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman. Tell me there’s a backup plan.”
“You didn’t really think I’d let them put a stop to the most exciting day of your life, did you?”
Haylee squealed while clapping her hands excitedly, blonde hair bouncing. “Do tell do tell do tell!”
“Nah.” Jez let Haylee stew in confusion before adding, “Why don’t I take you there instead?”
Everybody at the table exchanged thrilled looks before simultaneously launching off their seats.
“Hush, all of you,” Jez said, taking her time standing. “We have to wait.”
“Wait? Wait for what?” Haylee asked. “Why are we waiting? We can’t wait. There’s no waiting! Go, go, go already, before they come in here and stop us.”
Jez placed her hands behind her back and teetered back and forth from her toes to her heels. Everyone’s face was a painting of curiosity as they glanced around the room, waiting for something to happen. At long last, a quiet knock came at the door.
“Ah, there we are. If you please, Charles.”
Charles strode to the door and opened it, revealing a beaming Mr. Okeke, Jengo’s father. He wore a fur coat and winter hat. He hopped inside and, once Charles closed the door, whispered, “Ready, Jez.”
“Thank you, Kwabe.”
“What’s going on?” Haylee asked, glancing from face to face. “Where we going?”
“You’ll see,” Jez replied. “Charles, Billy—you’re coming as well. I want everyone to grab a change of garments and their satchels as you’ll be staying the night.”
After some excited squeals, they scurried off to do as they were bid—except for Olaf and Alyssa, who lived in Blackhaven and had already brought extra garments with them. Once they were ready, they assembled by the door.
Jez lightly cleared her throat. “All right, missy, step before me.”
“What? What’s going on?” Haylee asked as she cagily stepped before Jez. Jez turned her around so she faced away from her. Then she reached into a pocket and slowly, dramatically, withdrew a crimson blindfold—to everyone else’s delight.
“What’s with the roguish smiles, should I be worried?” Haylee asked, trying to turn around only for Jez to stop her.
“Nuh-uh, no you don’t, you blonde little monkey. And you should be positively petrified.”
“Eep.”
“Now close your eyes.” Jez secured the blindfold over Haylee’s eyes and nudged her at Bridget, Leera and Alyssa. “Make sure she doesn’t kill herself, would you?”
The girls grabbed Haylee’s arms. “With pleasure,” Leera said.
“Now then, everyone stay here—and be quiet. I’ll be back. You two come with me,” Jez said to Charles and Billy.
She slipped out with Mr. Okeke and the servants, leaving Augum and the others to stand about awkwardly.
“Can I peek?” Haylee asked playfully, only to receive a firm “No—!” from everyone.
“Can I get some hints as to what you devious bunch are planning, at least?”
“Quiet or we’ll stuff a sock in your gob,” Alyssa sniped merrily.
Jez returned and they wordlessly slunk out of the house into the cold night, crossed the snowed-over street, and walked a ways before dipping between two houses and entering Ravenwood. After another short plod down a deer trail, they reached a small clearing with dozens of footsteps in the snow, steps that went nowhere. Augum understood what was going on and shared thrilled looks with his friends. They were going to teleport.
“Why’s everyone being so mysterious and quiet?” Haylee whispered.
The girls suppressed giggles while Augum and Olaf smiled at each other. Yeah, the kingdom was in serious trouble, they had been in a life-and-death fight only hours prior, but there was no denying it, this was exciting.
Jez grabbed Augum’s and Haylee’s hands, mouthing, “Link up.”
“Ooh, I think I finally know what’s going on,” Haylee whispered as Bridget took her other hand.
After a moment of concentration, Jez incanted, “Impetus peragro grapa lestato exa exaei.” Augum’s body was yanked as he felt the usual tumbling-end-over-end sensation, only to appear moments later in a snowy clearing, landing securely on his feet. Charles and Billy, however, were not used to teleportation and fell roughly on the ground with an “Oof!” Both promptly dry-heaved.
As Jez and Bridget attended to them, Augum looked around. A bold full moon shone naked from a starry sky, illuminating a two-story farm-style building amongst fields ridged with lines of snow. A light snowfall dusted their shoulders, dampening sound. A cart pulled by two oxen and driven by a fur-clad man peacefully clopped along on a nearby road.
When Charles and Billy recovered, Jez nudged the group toward the building. Faces peeked out from the windows and people scurried away upon the group’s approach, prompting more giddy smiles from Augum and his friends. Tonight, they would forget the danger they and their kingdom were in. Tonight, they would leave their troubles at the door.
A carved wooden sign hung from a pair of chains, depicting a singing lute player floating above a chair. Underneath were the words The Magic Minstrel Inn & Tavern. The upper windows were dark, but the ones on the main floor were brightly lit with warmth.
There was a note on the door. Closed tonight for special function. Jez placed her hand on the door, flashed an im
portant look, and placed a finger to her lips. “Shh.” Then she turned the handle and opened the door … revealing a throng of beaming people. Augum recognized most of them. Not only were there a bunch of people from Arinthia, such as Devon and Priya and her mother, Ms. Singh, but there were school mates from Haylee’s degree. And there was also The Grizzly, standing with Arcanist Sam Ordrid, Arcanist Makemba Jaheem, and Arcanist Chappie Fungal. All had a glass of ale or wine in their hands, even The Grizzly, and all were silent, eagerly anticipating the reveal.
Jez trotted Haylee to the center of the clearing, where she was made to stand alone, and Augum’s group joined the crowd, which now included Jengo, Caireen, Isaac and Laudine, back from procuring antidotes. Jez looked around, smiled and nodded proudly, then said, “All right, Haylee, you can remove your blindfold.”
The moment Haylee removed the cloth, everyone shouted, “Happy birthday!” Haylee clamped her hands over her mouth, tearing up. Then she was mobbed by gentle hugs and congratulatory praise and told the ceremony would begin shortly and not to feel too nervous.
“One of my favorite haunts,” Jez said, elbowing Augum while watching Haylee give her off-again, on-again Henawa boyfriend, Chaska, an awkward hug. “Owner and I are old friends. She’s quite kind to have handed the place over to us for the night—and without charging a copper, well, except for food and drink—otherwise there’s no way we could’ve afforded this. Scraped some money together from Arinthia to make it happen as is. Anyway, it’s just west of the Stone Quarter and it’s used to strange travelers, so we shouldn’t have any trouble, especially since it’s outside city walls. Path Disciples don’t bother with hovels like this.”
Once the hugs subsided, the crowd launched into “Another Year, Another Notch,” the traditional Solian birthday song. Alyssa hefted Haylee, who was quite light, onto her shoulders and paraded her about.
Leera’s hand found Augum’s and she smiled at him as they joined the singing throng.
“It’s the day of your birth, the day of your birth, the day of your birth, all glow-cheeked with mirth, because that’s what you’re worth, grab a fistful of earth—” Someone handed Haylee a fistful of earth, which she promptly threw over her shoulder for good luck. “—’cause it’s the day of your birth, the day of your birth, the day of your birth. It’s just another notch on the belt. Oh, what a life! What a life! Just another notch, just another notch.” And now the song sped up with each line. “May you grow old and be happy, grow laugh lines be sappy, catch a husband, cat chasing a mouse, then build a house, up to your eyelids with kids—don’t forget the pot lids—and have chickens and pigs and geese and a well, and don’t mind the smell—” The song slowed back down. “—another notch on the belt … of … liiiiiife …!” Everyone raised their arms and wiggled their fingers as they dragged out the last word. And of course some threw in a few lines at the end as a traditional tease.
