by Sever Bronny
Question 1. Circle one. The exact first edict of the Sacred Chivalric Code of the Arcaner is:
A. Thou may refuse a challenge from an equal
B. Thou canst refuse a challenge from an equal
C. Thou shall never refuse a challenge from an equal
D. Thou shan’t never refuse a challenge from an equal
His spine tingled. Gods, how tricky—and there was well over a hundred of these! He dipped his quill into the ink and circled the letter C and moved on. The first seventeen questions were on the code of honor, one for each edict in the code. Augum was sure he got them all right. The next set concentrated on Honor class. The first question was:
Question 18. Circle one. A desperately hungry beggar steals a loaf of bread to feed himself. Do you:
A. Let him off with a warning
B. Investigate the situation with all involved parties
C. Place him under arrest
D. Dispense justice with your summoned weapon
Augum circled the letter B, for he had been taught that justice was often murky and required all the facts to make a proper judgment. Then he went through nineteen more questions just like that, feeling his confidence build with each circled letter.
The Courage class portion of the exam came next, which was another twenty questions. The only one he paused on was:
Question 55. Circle two. When faced with multiple stronger adversaries who are almost certain to kill you, you should:
A. Attempt to evade so you can return to fight another day
B. If possible, engage in conversation to deescalate the situation
C. Strategically engage the foes, doing as much damage before honorably succumbing to your wounds
D. Engage the foes for the sake of honor, despite knowing you would almost certainly perish
He circled A and B. Arcaners weren’t supposed to be foolhardy or stupid, as Trintus and Atrius had hammered into his brain time and again in class.
The Kindness class portion was simple, for it contained questions like:
Question 70. Circle one. When a beggar asks for money, an Arcaner should:
A. Walk by, pretending they did not see or hear them
B. Report or arrest them
C. Give them everything they have
D. Offer what they can afford
He circled D. The Service portion of the exam came next, and it was a bit trickier, yielding questions like:
Question 101. Circle one. A powerful high-ranking noble is suspected of corruption and you have been tasked to investigate. You:
A. Methodically but quietly investigate the situation
B. Announce the investigation publicly and then investigate
C. Announce the investigation publicly to see the noble’s reaction
D. Consider whether it is safe to investigate in the first place
Augum thought back to his code of honor. When that didn’t yield a clear answer, he recalled a lesson Rebecca Von Edgeworth gave that no one was above kingdom law, not even the king. He decided that the noble should be treated like everyone else and circled A.
The Fortitude portion was even tougher. A typical example went like:
Question 115. Circle one. You have been captured by the enemy and face the threat of torture unless you give up critical information on an ally that would certainly result in their death. You:
A. Hold out as long as you can before surrendering the information
B. Attempt to commit suicide to escape the pain
C. Save yourself the pain and give the information right away
D. Succumb to your wounds without compromising your allies
Augum shivered and circled A, knowing he could not change his response, though he suspected the true Arcaner answer was D.
With the virtues portion of the exam complete, next came five general questions on each of the following subjects: Heraldry, Etiquette, Argument, Arithmetic, Written Word, Literature, Runes, Solian History, Arcaner History, Arcane Army Combat, Runic Combat, Sword and Sorcery, Theory of Standard Spellcraft, and Theory of Elemental Spellcraft. Augum did the best he could with each section, second-guessing himself now and then and wishing he could change his answer. He immediately knew he had failed the Heraldry portion because he hadn’t recognized a single family mentioned, and thus had blindly guessed. The same went for Etiquette, though he suspected he got the One never turns one’s back to the king question right. He also struggled with Argument, which presented logic puzzles that made a pretzel of his mind. And Literature was agony because he barely recognized the names involved; two of the questions were about stuffy long-lost poets, though he suspected Laudine would have known them. He fluffed one question on Solian History for sure, about some obscure king from an ancient epoch, and might have confused a combat principle in the Runic Combat portion. Arcaner History he left blank because it made the hair on his arms stand, and so he’d return to it last. The rest was a relative breeze.
Meanwhile, whereas Bridget would occasionally intone an “Mmm-hmm,” Leera began with the occasional “Eep,” which escalated to a panicked squeal, and finally a frantic foot tapping and chewing on the end of her quill. He prayed she passed; he prayed they all passed.
And through it all, Trintus Bladeofbright kept a patient watch from the front.
Having concluded everything but the Arcaner history portion, Augum glanced up to see that only about a quarter of an hour of sand remained in the hourglass. He dipped his quill in the ink bottle and focused on those final five questions. What made them interesting was that he and the girls had not officially been taught Arcaner History, but rather had cobbled together what they could from ancient tomes, scrolls and clues.
Question 133. Circle one. In Arcaner mythology, it is thought the Rivican Lord of Death and Dreadnoughts named his siege engines after:
A. Three Rivican sites of victory
B. Three Rivican queens
C. Three Rivican kings
D. Three Rivican deities
Question 134. Circle one. The Great Purge of 1415 Pre Founding was due to:
A. Rivican vengeance for perceived past wrongs
B. A misunderstanding that spiraled out of control
C. The Rivican need for warlocks to be used as sacrificial slaves
D. The Rivicans being taken over by a necromantic Lord of Death and Dreadnoughts, fueling the desire to expand and conquer
Question 135. Circle one. In Arcaner mythology, the formalization of the Sacred Chivalric Code of the Arcaner is said to originate from:
A. Common sense
B. Dragons
C. Ordinary knights
D. The Unnameables
Question 136. Circle one. In Arcaner mythology, the order initially flourished due to which major event:
A. The spread of honor and justice, creating The Great Peace
B. A desperate need to vanquish corruption, which ran rampant
C. The destruction of three Rivican siege engines
D. The razing of Haven and the renaming of it to Blackhaven
Question 137. Circle one. In Arcaner mythology, Riktus primarily founded the Order of Whisper Blades because he:
A. Believed his brother was killed unjustly and thus vowed revenge
B. Wanted to go after corruption by becoming corrupt
C. Became corrupt but wanted to hold onto a measure of power
D. Became an Arcaner in Disgrace, allowing anger to overcome his shame
Although a couple rang with familiarity, Augum nonetheless made educated guesses on all of them—C, A, B, C and A, respectively. But he had learned much from these questions, not that he knew what it all meant.
He checked the scroll one last time to make sure he had circled all one hundred and seventy-seven questions. Then, just as he was about to commit some more questions to memory, the scroll disappeared in a puff of white smoke, and a collective groan went up, most notably from Leera, who bit down on her already chewed-up quill and smacked the des
k with her head as if vanquished by a mighty foe.
“I’m sure you did fine, my love,” Augum whispered, rubbing her back consolingly. She looked up at him and the sight of her startled him, for her lips and teeth were blue from ink.
“I’m sure I failed,” she said, but Augum was too distracted by all that ink to reply. “What, is there something on my face? Is there a bit of ink?”
“Uh, just a, uh, just a little bit.”
“Your test has already been scored,” Trintus boomed from the front. “When you pass through the door, if you find yourself in the Hall of Rapture, you have passed and may continue on your trial. Should you find yourself back in the Arcaner Studies room, you have failed. Though unlike the trial to become a squire, you may try this trial next term.”
The ghosts of squires past got up and anxiously filed toward the door, gossiping amongst each other about the exam.
“How’d you do?” Augum asked Bridget as the trio stood.
She shrugged. “Pretty good, I think. I flubbed Arcaner History, seeing as they stopped teaching it at the academy and I guessed a couple on the Heraldry and Literature portions. Other than that, I’m confident I passed. And you two—” She started. “Unnameables help me, did you drink the ink bottle, Lee?”
“Let us not speak now,” Leera wheezed, staring at the door, breathing hard and pale as a sheet. “At least I can check on Sir Pawsalot.”
“I’m sure you did fine, Lee,” Bridget said, striding toward the door. “You underestimate yourself. Now come on.”
One by one, students opened a ghost version of the door and either immediately broke down crying or shouted in triumph before stepping through. Since the ghosts did not move aside, the trio walked through them.
“You two go first,” Leera whimpered.
Augum tried to argue.
“I insist.”
Augum and Bridget shared an exasperated look. Augum stepped aside. “Good luck, Bridge.”
Bridget placed her hand on the ancient handle, turned, and pumped her fist, for there on the other side was their stuff sitting untouched in the Hall of Rapture. “See you in a moment,” she said, stepping through and closing the door behind her.
“Think it’ll, uh, it’ll work if I jump through with you?” Leera asked in a weak voice.
“Something tells me probably not.”
“Well, don’t keep Bridget waiting. She’ll need your help.”
Augum drew her near. “I love you and I’ll see you in a moment, Ms. Blue Lips.” He kissed the side of her head and let go, leaving her quivering in place. Then he opened the door—and saw Bridget beaming at him from the Hall of Rapture. He stepped through and they hugged each other in congratulations, then anxiously waited for Leera. And waited. And waited some more, causing Augum’s heart to palpitate frantically. Gods, she had failed—
The door flew open and there she was. She burst with a happy cry.
A Final Lesson
After a celebratory jumping-up-and-down-while-twirling group hug, the trio picked up their stuff and got underway once more, animatedly discussing the exam. Now all that remained was the final practical portion, but what that would entail they could only guess at.
“I must have passed by the skin of my blue teeth,” Leera mumbled while frantically cleaning her teeth with her finger. “I swear I guessed on, like, two-thirds of them. And why the hell didn’t you tell me it was this bad? I look like a deranged peacock.”
Augum tried not to laugh at her vain attempt to clean away the ink. She had gotten a good look at herself in the reflection of Bridget’s breastplate and had shrieked in terror.
“Relax, it’ll come off with some soap and water,” Bridget said, adding under her breath, “or sand, if you’re lucky.”
“I heard that.”
That night, with eyebrows frozen and breath steaming, they bedded down in another alcove, noting how much colder it had gotten. Since they didn’t have a candle to mark Endyear, they lit their palms and held them out in a short and silent ceremony of gratitude and remembrance, and then tried to get some sleep. Even with the blankets, their arcane coats, and their hoods drawn, they shivered half the night, before resuming the slog in the morning.
Augum stared at the looming darkness ahead. “That’s, what, two days’ walk? A day?”
“Two, I’d guess,” Bridget replied.
“I don’t want to know what awaits us in that darkness,” Leera muttered, face red from spending all morning scrubbing at her lips and teeth with whatever she could find, which included a portion of a leather strap she had pilfered from her own breastplate. “What? Makes a fantastic toothbrush,” she said when Augum spied her rubbing her teeth with it. “Stop for a moment,” she said, and checked her teeth in the reflection of his breastplate. “Uh-huh, it’s working. Told you so,” and she resumed scrubbing.
“You won’t have any lips left if you continue like that.”
“Shaddup.”
Late that day, they came upon the next door. Once more, they shed all their belongings and prepared themselves for a fight—just in case. It happened to be Leera who turned the handle this time. And there before her across a stage was the academy theater full of hundreds of Leeras, all glaring at her with deeply sunken eyes the color of coal. Their hair was frizzy and dry, their cheeks pale and blotchy, lips cracked and bloody.
“My turn,” Leera squeaked, pale as a bedsheet.
The crowd of demonic Leeras stared at her before one sang in a garbled high-pitched voice, “Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone.”
Leera, who had stumbled to the center of the stage, glanced around frantically as the other Leeras joined in the chant.
“Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone.” The chant overwhelmed her and she fell to her knees, tears rolling down her cheeks as she shook her head.
Augum and Bridget tried to go forward but they couldn’t step into the theater—an invisible barrier prevented it. Augum looked around to see that Rebecca Von Edgeworth watched Leera from beside the doorframe.
“Gods help her, it’s the song she never got over,” Bridget said.
“Fight it, Lee!” Augum called, but Leera couldn’t hear him over the chanting. It was the song Haylee had made up back when she and Leera had been enemies. It was before Augum had met any of them, when the girls had first started going to the academy. Haylee, being the popular kid, had convinced her class to sing this song during an assembly, only for the entire theater to take it up because it was catchy.
Meanwhile, the chant grew in volume, until Leera covered her ears and screamed to drown it out, but it only got louder, forcing Augum and Bridget to cover their ears lest the shrill demonic sound get to them too.
Leera glanced around in wild panic, but she could not find what she was looking for. Augum could see her mouthing the words, “Augum? Augum—!” It broke his heart to be unable to help her, for she was alone on stage, shaking, and mortally humiliated.
“Come on, love, fight it, fight it,” he kept muttering, unsure what she could do to battle it.
Leera let go of her ears to look down at her hands.
“Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone.”
She looked up at the crowd, chin trembling, limbs shaking, suddenly a little girl.
“Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone.”
At first, her jaw firmed. Then she gained control of her shaking. She touched her throat and mouthed, “Amplifico.” And then, for some inexplicable reason, she began to sing along.
“Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone.”
Leera got up off her knees and sang louder and louder, until the veins in her neck were bulging and her face was purple and her hands were balled into fists.
“Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone—!” And just like that, with a final amplified roar, her voic
e was the only one singing, for the demonic Leeras had vanished. She sang one more verse, a sweet, wavering and broken melody, a woman singing about her youth. “Leering Leera, lollygagging Leera, a dog without a bone, forever alone.” Then she glanced over, looking for Augum—and finally saw him. She ran to the door and the pair hugged.
Rebecca Von Edgeworth stepped out of the cool shadows. “One must excise the demons in one’s soul before one can vanquish the demons outside one’s door.”
* * *
“I don’t care what it was, I’m just glad it’s over,” Leera said as they strode along the Hall of Rapture. “Let’s not bring it up anymore, all right? Gods, what a nightmare.” She was holding herself, blue-tinged lips pressed firmly together.
“This means I’m next,” Augum said. “Seems we each have a personal challenge to go through involving the demon version of us.”
He turned out to be right. A day later, the very next door they came upon opened out onto the village Arinthia—and hundreds of people were gathered about the village square. They faced the stage, where a celebration was taking place. And beyond loomed the majestic facade of Castle Arinthian.
A jolt of familiarity zipped through Augum’s being.
“Aug, that’s your manhood ceremony!” Leera squealed, jumping and clapping excitedly. “You get a do-over on Teleport! You get to do it right!”
But Bridget was frowning. “I’m not so sure about that. Be careful, Aug.”
The girls wished him luck and he stepped through the door onto a snowy street. The crowd spotted him and waved him over, just as he remembered them doing almost a year ago, except maybe from a different direction. He soon spotted all his friends, including a grinning Isaac and a smiling Caireen, who stood together with their other friends, Laudine, Haylee and Jengo. And there was Bridget and Brandon, back when they were still together, and also Leera, smiling broadly and jumping and clapping the way she had moments ago. Seeing them all in such unbridled joy—especially Isaac and Caireen—filled his heart with bittersweet warmth.
Augum walked to the stage in a daze, a feeling of cold dread overcoming him. Vivid memories of that day bounced around in his brain. He had already performed feats of strength, knowledge and arcanery, and now would come … and sure enough, he spotted a young boy in the crowd—except this boy was a young demonic Augum, who shouted, “And now a feat of legend!”
