“It’s starting to get cold lately, isn’t it?” she said, a strange tone to her voice.
“Aurora!” I exclaimed. “What happened? Did Cirrus say something to you?”
“Why would he say something? He didn’t even come over here.”
Though her face remained impassive, her cheeks flushed slightly. She was avoiding the whole situation. Purposely.
“Why did he just look at you like that? What is going on with him?” I finally asked bluntly.
A silent pause and then, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Aurora,” I murmured. But she just shook her head, not even looking up. And for the rest of dinner, there was awkward silence interspersed with rare bits of forced conversation.
Finn never showed.
I wondered if it had something to do with Cirrus as well.
But when Aurora put down her knife and fork, slowly rising from her seat, I tried one last time.
“Aurora.”
She looked at me, biting her lip slightly.
I held my hands up. “Just hear me out. Please. I know something happened. I know Cirrus said something to you. Finn didn’t join us tonight so maybe Cirrus talked to him as well. And the fact that he became so upset just being in my presence earlier confirms it has something to do with me. I deserve to know what’s going on.”
Silence. But she started to fidget, wringing her hands.
“Aurora, please.”
She sighed, covering her face with those hands now as she sank back down into her chair and shook her head, strawberry-blonde hair flying back and forth wildly.
“Look, I didn’t want to say anything.” A nervous energy roiled through me as she lowered her hands and her eyes locked on mine, her expression now one that bared a terrifyingly close resemblance to pity. “Cirrus said…he said that he can’t be around you. And that neither should I. I’m pretty sure he said the same thing to Finn as well.”
“But…but why?”
“Because he wants to get into Regent. And says he won’t be able to if he is seen around you.”
Stunned. Shocked. Dumbfounded. “Why would being around me possibly affect that?” I sputtered.
Her gaze lowered. An uncomfortable silence passed, but her eyes wouldn’t lift.
My suspicion rose. “Aurora. Tell me. Why does Cirrus think he won’t get in because of me?”
She raised her head, her eyes sad. “I asked him that same exact question. Demanded to know, actually. He just said that after he talked with Rowan, he knew that he had to stay away from you or he would never get into Regent. And neither would I.”
✽✽✽
Anger. Hot and fast. It rose up like an angry beast inside me at her words.
Rowan.
Rowan, my best friend, was responsible for this.
I should have known. The way Cirrus had always been watching their group. The way he and Rowan had been partners during the Combat training sessions. It seemed so obvious now.
But there was something else. She’d said, ‘neither would I’.
“But you’re still here. Eating dinner with me. Around me. Why?”
She looked directly at me this time, her eyes boring into mine with sudden intensity. “Because I don’t know what Division I want to go into. Where I want to spend the rest of my life. But if getting into Regent means I can no longer be around my friend, then I have no desire to go there. And hopefully Cirrus will soon realize that he shouldn’t either.”
My heart clenched and I felt tears well. “Thank you,” I said quietly, and this time she managed a small smile. A true one.
“Alright,” I said, the anger starting to build again. “I need to find Rowan and get to the bottom of this.” For a moment I thought she’d try to stop me. But she only nodded in understanding.
I strode from the cafeteria, my gaze sweeping the main entry way, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Unfazed, I made my way through the doors and outside, stepping onto the edge of the field. Though the light was waning, the sun’s final rays setting, I quickly spotted him. There he stood with his new group, just a little ways off in the distance. Even from here I could hear the laughter and chatter, carried across on the slight breeze to me.
The hot rush of anger rippling through me again, I stalked over. Rowan faced in the other direction, oblivious to my approach, but as soon as the others saw me coming, their eyes widened, everyone backing up a couple of steps. Confused, he turned around, his blonde hair blowing back in the wind, a smile still lingering on his face.
As soon as his eyes locked on me, that smile vanished.
For some reason, I expected him to back up along with his friends. He’d done such a good job of avoiding me since we arrived here, why change now? But instead, he remained motionless, just staring at me, waiting. After a moment, he motioned to the others, waving them off.
And then started walking towards me.
Caught off guard, my pace slowed as his started to pick up. His face was a rigid mask, holding no trace of the laughter that had been present only moments before. He closed the remaining distance between us until we were only a couple of feet from one another. His brown eyes regarded me warily.
“What do you want, Sage?” His voice was gruff, cold and emotionless. So unlike the old Rowan.
“I want to talk to you.” I tried to keep the emotion out of my own voice.
I wasn’t successful.
“Fine. What is it?” There was no change in his expression.
His coldness angered me enough that everything rushed out at once as I leaned in and said bitterly, “I want to know what you are saying about me. I want to know why Cirrus can no longer stand to be around me, but the both of you are best pals now. And I want to know why you’ve turned into a different person since we came here. Why, since we stepped off that train, you’ve barely talked or even looked at me.”
There was a flash of something in his eyes. “You wouldn’t understand,” he replied, looking away before I could figure out what it was.
That hurt. A short, dismissive response. Nothing more.
I swallowed, still trying to keep the pain from my face. And said, “Try me.”
There was a pause as he sighed, considering a moment before he raised his eyes to mine once again. “I can’t be around you, Sage, for one reason and one reason only. I need to get into Regent.”
“Why? Why is it so important for you to get into Regent?”
“Because of Terra.”
“Wha…what? What does your sister have to do with this?”
He blew out a long breath. “She’s there. In Regent. That’s why I have to be accepted into that Division. It’s the only chance I’ll have to see her again.”
“Okay,” I said, reflecting on his answer. “Okay. Fine. So you want to go into Regent because your sister is there. I get that. I understand that.” My voice grew louder and I took a breath, trying to calm myself. “But what I don’t understand, what you didn’t answer, is why, suddenly, you can’t even be around me? And why, now, Cirrus can’t either. Why?”
“Because of what you did,” he snapped back, his voice low and cutting. “Because of everything you did when we were in Earth Society.” A knowing expression marked his face and he cocked his head, raising an eyebrow as the meaning behind his words slowly dawned on me.
“What I did…,” I whispered, shaking my head. My mind circled, thinking about Juniper and Shale. About the times we skipped classes and after school was completed, field work. About the time we snuck crops out of the fields, before the guards were placed there. About the time I raided the distribution center at night with them, and how close we came to being caught. And finally, of course, about the last day I saw both of them.
“What does that have anything to do with this?” I nearly gasped, the last memory coiling through me like a snake, its poisonous pain lashing out.
“It has everything to do with it. Don’t you see?” he asked, frustrated now. “Regent consists of the lawma
kers. Those who believe in the rules that run our Societies. And the obedience and respect of them by the members of each Society. But you, Sage, have always walked the line with the rules. Crossed that line and defied those in charge. Shirked the rules whenever you could.”
“That was years ago, Rowan,” I whispered, the pain in my chest growing. “I haven’t done a single thing wrong in four years,” I added, hating the pleading tone in my voice.
He continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “If the trainers here see me around you, talking with you, sitting with you, then that’s it. That is all it will take for my chances of entering Regent to disappear. Because they will associate me with you. And what you’ve done in the past.”
I shook my head. “That’s just it, no one actually knows what I’ve done. They just associate me with…Juniper and Shale,” my voice cracked as I said the names, and I swallowed thickly as Rowan stared. “Only you know everything. But I was never…caught.”
But he just shook his head. “I can’t take the chance. You can’t be sure of how much they know. Those in charge,” he clarified when I opened my mouth to argue again. “And as hard as it is, I can’t allow for your past mistakes to hinder my chances. I need to enter Regent so I can see my sister. And I will do anything I must to make that happen.”
Anything. Including ruining a lifelong friendship, ripping its deep bonds to shreds so easily, as if they were nothing more than the fragile fragments of a spider’s silken web.
And so there it was. Answers. Answers to the questions that had plagued me ever since arriving here. The answer to why Rowan was never around anymore. The answer to why Cirrus had grown so distant and cold. They thought that associating with me would keep them from entering Regent.
“How do you even know your sister is in Regent?” I seethed at him, barely able to control my anger. Or, if I was being truthful with myself, the hurt and betrayal I felt.
“Eden told me. Everyone who has family members in either Regent or Combatant was told, since they usually end up in the same Division.”
Not Eden and her sister. The thought shot through my mind, but I pushed it aside
“Well, then what did you say to Cirrus to make him want to get into Regent. He was perfectly fine with being around me until you spoke with him.”
“Cirrus’s older brother is in Regent. He’s wanted to enter ever since finding out. Eden told him about our group as well and when he approached us, the first thing he wanted to know was why I stopped hanging out with you. As a matter of fact, he was very defensive of you in the beginning. But after I told him the reason why we couldn’t chance associating with you, he understood.”
“He…understood,” I repeated slowly, trying to comprehend his cold meaning behind the two simple words. He said it in such a detached manner. As if severing the friendship between us had been as simple as cutting a sandwich in half.
“Yes,” he replied. “Understood that being around you would jeopardize his chances for being chosen for Regent.”
“And so naturally you just had to warn everyone in your new group to stay away from me. To not associate with me.” The burning anger in me flared. “You found out the reasons trainees don’t get accepted into Regent and you just had to let everyone know about it. About what I did. You had no right to do that!”
He scowled in response, but remained silent.
I shook my head, pressing both palms against my cheeks and rubbing my temples. “I can’t believe this is happening again,” I muttered bitterly.
A look of confusion touched his face for the first time. “What do you mean again?”
“You know exactly what I mean, Rowan! What every single day in Earth Society was like for me. The stares. The coldness. The blame. Even if it wasn’t outright guilt, it was blame by association. You were the only one who stood by my side there. And now you leave me as soon as we get here. As if our friendship didn’t mean a thing. That it can be thrown away so easily.”
He just stared, not saying a word.
“Well? Isn’t that what’s happening?”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered quietly, the regret in his voice genuine now. “Truly, I am. But the Rowan you see in front of you right now is it. That other guy isn’t going to reappear. My sister is family and I haven’t seen her in years. I’ve missed her every day since she’s left. And if there is a chance I can see her again, I will do anything it takes to make that happen. So that’s why this is who I need to be now.” His last words to me were as raw as the look in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
And with that, he walked away, leaving me standing there. Alone.
✽✽✽
I was in a daze, but my legs carried me in the direction of the pond, my body somehow instinctively knowing where I needed to be.
Easing myself down the sloped hill and through the pines, the glassy surface of the water came into view. And as I lowered my body onto the worn bench, the splintering surface rough even through my clothing, I stared out into the distance, replaying the entire conversation I’d just had with Rowan.
It explained some things. Like why he and Cirrus now seemed to be such great friends. And why their entire group was avoiding me like a rare incurable disease.
But others remained a mystery. Like how some of the other trainees from Fire Society were acting standoffish as well. Because while they appeared to, for the most part, avoid anyone not from their own Society, Coal and Serafina excluded, towards me there seemed a special form of derision. Cayenne’s hateful glare came to mind. And I was pretty sure the vast majority of those from Fire did not want to enter Regent, if what Coal had told me meant anything. Sighing, I closed my eyes, blocking out the serene image in front of me, and allowed darkness to encase my vision.
Those words I’d said to Rowan. That it was happening all over again. The way people were treating me. I felt as if I were back in Earth Society. Becoming an outcast, a pariah, an exile, same as before.
And I couldn’t bear to go through it anymore
But even with the amount of anger and pain I felt towards Rowan, a worry still resided beneath, pulsating there, and my thoughts returned to the conversation I’d overheard in the library.
Rowan wasn’t safe here.
Not as long as he was with Serafina.
Chapter 26
It turned out that worried feeling was justified.
It happened the very next afternoon, at a stealth training session. Everything had been as normal, routine, going from one practice station to the next, the typical rhythm I’d grown used to since arriving here.
And then, in an instant, that calm routine was shattered.
An anguished scream pierced the air, turning the blood in my veins to ice.
Whipping my head around, my chest tight, my eyes instantly found the source.
Rowan lay in a heap on the ground, clutching his knee, a glistening sheen of sweat on his face as he rocked back and forth, his face twisted in pain. Serafina was by his side in an instant, others racing over as well as everyone tried to figure out what happened.
My eyes moved up the wall Rowan lay in front of, the wall he’d just been attempting to climb. It was twice the height of the one I’d slipped from. And the corded rope he’d been clinging to was now severed, it’s frayed remains now ending halfway up, the other portion lying on the ground.
It broke. Snapped. And now Rowan was injured. My gaze shot back down to him, but as took a step forward, my eyes shifted towards Serafina. Though her hands clutched at Rowan protectively, her gaze was focused on something else. Something in the distance.
Something that drew fury into her eyes, that caused her lips to quiver in anger.
Something that caused my entire body to tremble uncontrollably.
Blaze. And Ash.
There they stood. Off to the side, by themselves. Watching the scene play out before them, nodding ever so slightly, their lips twisted into smirks.
They’d carried through on their threat in the library, tamper
ing with the rope somehow. This was their reminder to Serafina.
I shot my gaze over to where I’d last seen Coal, wanting to know if he’d realized what I just had. But there was only empty space where he’d previously stood. Sweeping my eyes across the arena, they finally landed on him.
And what he clutched in his hand.
His boots hit the solid floor firmly as he strode over to where Blaze and Ash stood. And in his hand was the frayed piece rope that had laid on the floor only moments ago.
It seemed that as soon as I’d noticed Coal, so did the rest of the room, including Blaze and Ash. The smirks disappeared, expressions of barely concealed wariness taking their place as they backed up a few steps at his thunderous approach.
The entire room went silent. The tension in the air was palpable as Coal stood there, staring the two of them down, his entire body rigid, every muscle tense, ready to spring into action if needed.
He didn’t speak. Didn’t utter a single word. He didn’t have to.
Not a single soul in that room would have questioned the anger radiating off him. He stared at Blaze and Ash with such ferocity, I was amazed they didn’t shrink back further. And after another tense moment, he threw the frayed rope at their feet. “Enough.” I could barely make out the hiss of the word from where I stood, watching as he shot the both of them another cold glare before stalking out of the arena.
I stood there, frozen in shock by what had just happened, then slowly turned to look at the others. Blaze and Ash remained standing where they were. Though their expressions were casual, appearing unaffected, it was their reddened cheeks that gave them away. Serafina bent down and slowly helped Rowan to his feet, several other trainees assisting, Cirrus included. Rowan’s arm hung heavily over her shoulders as she grasped his back, trying to take more of his weight. Slowly they hobbled off towards the medical ward.
A glance towards Aurora and Finn revealed their faces matched mine, Aurora’s mouth hanging open, Finn’s dark eyes bugged out. She glanced at me, questioning, but I just shook my head, moving my gaze back towards the now empty exit.
Awakening Earth and Fire: Earth and Fire Trilogy Book 1 Page 22
