by AJ Super
He nodded. “Do you want me to let go?”
“I think it’s time.”
He uncurled his fingers from hers but left his hand where it was. Nyx kept her fingers curled around his hand, then slowly, one-by-one let go.
“Thank you,” she said to no one in particular. They had sat vigil while she cried. They had allowed her to break… and maybe mend. This was what family did for each other. This was family.
She sat further up and looked out on the gathered crowd. They had also knelt in silence while she had broken. She inhaled a stuttering breath and stood, eyes puffy, mouth sticky with tears. “We are family now,” she whispered.
She stood with Raphael and the four acolytes on stage.
Roger put a hand on her shoulder as she stared at the mass of people still kneeling. “Come. Have dinner with us. Connie makes killer pho.”
“And thanks to you, I actually get meat, not rat.” Connie shuddered.
Nyx nodded. “First though…” She motioned to the people in the crowd who were starting to come to their feet. “I have a lot of names to learn.
32
Nyx stared at her reflection in the mirror of the small washroom off Connie’s tiny quarters on the third tier of the giant cavern. It had been quite the climb to get up, but the view onto the center of the little lean-to market and stage was something. She leaned forward onto the sink and ran her hands up the sides of her hair.
Malcam. What was she going to do without him?
She choked back a sob.
Nyx closed her eyes tightly. If only she had the power to will him back to life. That would be a useful power. She waved her hand under the faucet, and water spilled slowly from the tap. She put her hands under the cool stream and brought them to her face, splashing the recycled water across her closed eyes.
She gripped the sink, her face dripping.
How much of Malcam was she breathing in the recycled air? How much of him was still around her? Suddenly, she wanted to go EVA. Be in her own environment in the black. Alone. Herself and the stars.
She grabbed the towel hanging next to the sink and dried her face and hands, leaving the edges of her hair damp. Dropping the towel on the floor, she turned and pushed aside the cloth obscuring the tiny bathroom cubby and stood staring at the small open space where Connie had a bedroll in a corner and a low table in the middle of the room set with four empty bowls. The red walls sparkling with black dust were bare, and Connie ladled a fifth bowl with steaming noodle soup from the pot on the single burner set in a corner and placed it on the table. “The others will be here soon.” She smiled shyly at Nyx.
Nyx’s stomach grumbled. Her siblings would have made their way to the mess by now. She breathed heavily. She was grateful that Isabeau made them leave her to herself for a bit. She still needed time to stitch herself together… No matter how well she healed physically, this was something that was going to take time. Lots of time.
But she still needed to eat. She needed to make sure she was in good condition to run a war. She couldn’t let that salope win by default. She couldn’t just break to pieces. There were too many people counting on her. And Malcam. What would he say? She had to be a Queen. For him.
Nyx sat on the ground next to the table and took up a set of chopsticks, stirring the noodles in the bowl that Connie had set in front of her.
“Go ahead and eat. The others may be a bit. They wanted to address the crowd we left behind,” Connie said. “Raphael was right to bring you here.”
Nyx shoveled a heap of noodles into her mouth. She didn’t really want to talk anymore. She was afraid she’d start to cry again. Every nerve was raw, on fire. Screaming for Malcam. The only thing she could do right now was stuff her face in silence and appreciate the comfort of the warm soup.
Connie nodded. “I’m glad you like it.”
Nyx glanced up at her and slurped the noodles into her mouth. It was good. The sharp tang of peppers, ginger, and lime with a hint of basil and lots of coriander in the beefy broth. The soft noodles and crisp sprouts. The bits of meat. It was much better than the food she got in the mess. She chewed, staring at the bowl. How was it that their food was better than what she was getting in the mess? She tipped her head and swallowed, opening her mouth to ask.
Connie grinned. “Bean sprouts are easy to grow. The noodles are flour, fat, water. The soup is boiled from cast off meat-parts from the mess, when they have them. Honestly though, if I told you all our black-market secrets, you’d find a way to legitimize the trade here and it would be no fun.” She plastered the most fake pout across her face. “Just let us do our thing, and we’ll continue to thrive. It’s already gotten a lot better since you came. Most don’t cough continuously from the black dust anymore, thanks to your Doc Lenus. And I have meat for my soup. And there’s no one doing surprise inspections anymore, so I don’t have to worry about hiding my belongings or worry about getting sent to the ring.” She pushed the bowl of noodles closer to Nyx. “Eat. There’s plenty if you want more. And if you want to avoid the rest of the group, you need to finish soon.”
Nyx clamped her mouth shut. Connie couldn’t be more than seventeen or eighteen. How long had she been in this hole of an asteroid to have such a head on her shoulders? To be able to understand what Nyx wanted to say… no, what she wanted just by looking at her? It was impossible for Nyx to fathom. She picked at a piece of meat floating in the broth, then she picked up the bowl and drank the bulk of the broth, dribbling some down her chin.
She stood and wiped the drips with her forearm. “Thanks.” Her voice broke. She could barely look at the dark-haired girl.
“I’ll tell them you had something important to attend to.”
Nyx nodded, turned, and left through the cloth-covered door. She trudged down the spiraling tiers with her head low, barely aware of the people smiling at her as she passed. These people were her family. They would forgive her a down day. A couple of them even patted her on the back with whispers of, “It’ll get better with time.”
It was easily past time for the miners and crew to be in the mess, if that’s where they chose to eat. But Nyx couldn’t help but wonder if her siblings had gone there after cleaning up from the day’s fight for sustenance… well, at least Yoon and Isabeau would need food. Phoebe and Erebus—they had looked worse for the wear, but their Sia avatars were in decent shape and looked relatively charged when she saw them last on the shuttle.
Slowly, Nyx wandered to the mess hall to find them. She hit the door pad and the door whispered open.
Phoebe’s face was hard as she towered over Matthews, who sat mid-spoonful of protein slurry. Her gold energy swirled tumultuously around her. “My predictions are always right.”
Matthews slammed his spoon down, splattering his food on his white robes. “She wouldn’t put us in that much danger.”
Yoon sat next to him calmly, setting his tray of food on the table. He shook his head, sapphire waters trembling. “If she gets the tools to wage an all-out war against this Boucher, if what Phoebe says is true, she’ll even drag the Church of the Seven into this. It won’t be just an AI war. It will be a religious war.”
“High Consul,” Isabeau said quietly as she sat, silver smoke ebbing easily around her. “If she follows this path, we’ll all suffer. Many will die.”
Matthews shook his head. “She won’t put her family in danger.” He pointed to Phoebe and Yoon. “You’re her blood. She won’t let you suffer. And she’s taken everyone in the Cult of Nyx as family… How could she let us suffer? It doesn’t matter if we die. Family would die for each other. We’ll fight for her. We’ll fight for Malcam. He was one of us. You can’t belittle our choice to sacrifice for her. She is the God of Gods.” He tapped his heart.
Phoebe set her jaw. “I’m not saying that your sacrifice isn’t wanted. But if she follows a different path, it may not be necessary. If she takes the miners and the clone army with no forethought, she’s going to destroy everything.”
Yoon
clenched his fork and stabbed at what looked like a carrot. “I won’t let my army go. I did that once, and it destroyed nearly all AI in the universe. It almost destroyed our family. I won’t let it happen again.”
Nyx stepped outside the door and leaned against the wall, stomach knotting. So, they would go against her. Maybe she could convince them. After all, it seemed that at least Matthews was on her side. And where was Erebus? She hadn’t even said a word… Where did she stand in all this? Nyx took a deep breath and stepped through the door again, clearing her throat.
Everyone’s heads snapped to her entrance, silent.
Nyx nodded. No one was going to confront her. So be it. “We’re going to take the rest of the miners who wanted to volunteer for the fight,” she said clearly, holding the quaver in her voice still. She wouldn’t deviate from her plans because Phoebe thought she would destroy everything. If that’s what it took to take down the imposter Nyx, the Progenitor’s line, and the Protectorate that Boucher was creating, then Nyx would leave death and destruction in her wake. “We’ll take them to crew the ships we managed to salvage from Xianlong V and create a boarding troop to take over La Terre.”
Yoon opened his mouth to speak, and Nyx held up a hand. “We’re going to take what we have to La Terre, and we’re going to take the ship. That’s my decision.”
Phoebe shook her head. “I’ve run the numbers on that scenario. There’s only a two percent chance of success.”
Nyx looked at her feet. “Then there’s a chance. I want that putain de salope’s head. And I want it now.”
Phoebe reached out to Nyx. “If you’re patient and plan, you’ll still get what you want. It may take a while, but you’ll still…”
Nyx brushed her hand aside. “Now,” she growled. “She killed Malcam. I want her to pay—now!”
Phoebe’s mouth pulled straight. “What do you plan on doing once you’ve taken her head?”
Nyx stood straight. “I am strong. The strong rise.”
“Rise to what?” Phoebe whispered.
Nyx put a hand on Phoebe’s cheek. “We are queens. Queens rise.”
Silence filled the cafeteria. Matthews rose from his seat at a metal table and tapped his heart with two fingers. “Vive la reine. Vive les reines.”
Nyx dropped her hand, face hard. “I am the God of Gods, and this universe will be mine.” A shiver went down her spine. The power surged through her. She could feel Isabeau, Yoon, and Phoebe’s energy. If she wanted, she could use it. If she wanted, she could take it. The tendrils dripped off her and spiraled invisibly through their lights. She breathed in the strength, the weight. She could flatten them at a whim. Take what she wanted. Did they not fear that?
She looked into Phoebe’s gold-ringed eyes. Yes, it was there. Deep. The fear that Nyx would just take what she needed. What she wanted.
Nyx eased her white tendrils away from the Stars’ and Isabeau’s energy and lowered her head, itching her brow. “You’re not going to stop me. Are you?”
The room was silent.
33
Nyx couldn’t find Erebus’ emerald code in the asteroid yet. The AI wasn’t spreading herself as she normally would, and she was avoiding everyone on Yangxi X, so no one seemed to know where she was.
Nyx quietly opened the hatch to the control room where Malcam had manipulated the ring and other security measures throughout the asteroid when they first took over. There was really nowhere else Erebus could hide. It was the only place on the asteroid that had a Sia charging station, and, except for Malcam, no one went up to that room.
In the middle of the small room, Paladichuk’s damaged Sia lay on a table, powered down and ready to be repaired. Nyx ran a hand through her hair, grimacing. The table shone like a mirror, reflecting her swirling geometric black tattoos as she stared at the Sia. The android looked so much like Erebus. Paladichuk must’ve brought her up to be repaired. But even as the unit rested on the table, waiting, Nyx knew the Sia wasn’t her sister. No tattoos ran up her neck and cheek or down her hand. Nothing marked her as the avatar of a Star. Nyx touched her own face and stared at her distorted reflection. How much further did she have until she was completely AI and no longer human? Her stomach knotted.
“What are you doing here?” Erebus whispered from a dark corner and stepped from an upright Sia charging unit.
“You weren’t in the mess with the others.” Nyx turned to her sister.
“I was low.” She choked. “They kept my energy stores low. Minimal functionality.”
Nyx nodded. “I see.”
“You don’t.”
Nyx exhaled softly and looked at the dark tattoo on the back of her hand. “You’re right. I don’t.”
“What is it you want?”
“I just wanted to check on you.”
Erebus shook her head. “I don’t believe you. You came looking for something.”
Nyx bit her cheek. “Fine. Let’s start with, why haven’t you infected this asteroid?”
“I’m not a disease,” Erebus mumbled.
“No. You’re a computer program designed to spread through technology and control it. Why aren’t you using that power?”
“Is that all I am to you? A program to be utilized for the sake of power?”
Nyx jerked in surprise. “I… uh…”
“She was working to strip my connection to you. Boucher.” Erebus pivoted back to the charging station. “A few more days and she probably would have succeeded.”
“I’m sorry. I should have come for you sooner. I should have found you faster.”
“You should have.” Erebus paused. “You’re lucky you’re human.”
“It’s not that great.”
“Yes,” Erebus said and stood in the Sia charging station facing Nyx. “You can cry. This Sia model doesn’t have that feature. Even Crius and Phoebe can cry.”
“I can see what I can do about that. I mean, I can try to program that into your avatar if that’s what you want. Emotional suppression drives are standard in modern Sias. It shouldn’t be too hard to jigger that out of the hardware and rewire an old-school empathy patch in.”
“That would be a solution.”
Silence rang between the two sisters.
“I’ll do that then,” Nyx said, a little too loudly.
“This is just a piece of hardware to be fixed.” Erebus pointed at her body. “And I’m just a piece of software to be manipulated and used.”
“That’s not true.”
“Then, tell me… would this all have happened if I had just chosen another avatar? If I hadn’t been so tied to this identity? Would you be starting a war? Would Malcam be dead?”
Nyx licked her lips. Erebus wasn’t wrong.
“I could have even chosen her.” Erebus nodded to the Sia on the table. “That Sia looks like my avatar. The nanites carrying the Star program would have given her my tattoo. There would be no difference. Same model, same skin, same eyes, same everything.”
“She wouldn’t have been you.”
“You would have never known. I can even use the same charging stations. We are more sister than you and I.”
Nyx’s heart squeezed. “You don’t mean that.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. If I could cry, maybe I would know what I meant and what I didn’t.”
“Will that make you strong?” Nyx huffed. “Will that make you able to move on from what happened?”
“Isn’t that how it works? Humans mourn their losses, their bad choices, and then they come to terms and create solutions.” Erebus tipped her head. “Can I not want to mourn my bad choices?”
Nyx shook her head. “We should do our best to move on and do what we can to avenge those we’ve lost.” She picked up a burnt-out fusion tube and twisted it in her fingers. “We have to be strong for those who can’t be. And lead those who need a strong leader.”
“Are you not going to mourn Malcam?”
Nyx set the fusion tube next to the prone Sia. She had already had some
time to break. She couldn’t be in pieces anymore. “I will once that truc de merde is dead. I will once I have become what he would have wanted me to become.”
“And what is that?”
“A queen.”
The charging station’s lights turned off, and Erebus stepped out, her lips drawn into a thin line. “Are you sure that’s what he wanted from you?”
“Maybe not before, but it’s what he would want now.” Nyx glared at Erebus. “The others, they don’t agree with the path I’m taking. They think I’m going to destroy the universe. I don’t understand how one person can destroy a universe. Besides, what’s the point of a universe where my family can’t exist in peace? Where I have to be afraid of someone like Jaymes Boucher appearing and claiming to be a Nyx and Progenitor? If I have the power to control that, then I should. I should keep you all safe. I won’t let anyone else die. I won’t let anyone else leave.”
Erebus walked to Nyx and put her head on her sister’s shoulder. “In that case, I’ll stay by your side.”
“You will?” Nyx leaned her head on Erebus.
“So I can stop you,” Erebus whispered so quietly Nyx wondered if she imagined it.
34
Nyx walked through the door to the meeting room just off her quarters with her family following. The new day’s quick walk-through of the mines had turned up nothing surprising, and a whole lot of miners who were happy to see her. She stepped slowly to her desk with her head down, staring at her hands, turned and pursed her lips. “I need to address the miners. Who was left in charge when,” she choked, “when Malcam left?” Her voice came out hoarse, on the verge of cracking with fresh tears. She couldn’t cry, though. She didn’t have the time, and her energy needed to be spent addressing those who were going to be fighting for her.
Raphael had followed close behind her and now stood next to her desk… where Malcam used to stand. “Malcam knew her. She’s a friend of Berto’s. Aubrey Cady.”
