Someone shoot me now. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. What did I miss?”
Deirdre smiled.
This time I didn’t repress my shiver.
Needless to say, I didn’t find my time working with her particularly instructive. Which kind of sucked because we really were (finally) getting into some of the more practical, hands-on aspects of magic the old dead guys had been talking about. Turns out, knowing all that theoretical crap might have been a bit useful after all. Between my lack of studying and raw terror of Deirdre, focusing enough to practice the assignment wasn’t happening.
Even on those few and far between instances when I was absolutely certain I’d done everything right, my magic refused to respond at all. When I’d wielded it before it had always seemed like something alive, almost with a mind of its own, which is almost as terrifying as being taught by a man-eating snake when you think about it. But here and now it felt more like a rock than anything alive. My magic just lay there as I ran through the exercises and directed my commands at it, inert. If I didn’t know any better I’d have almost said that it was asleep.
As soon as class was over I grabbed my notebook and ran for the hall. Deirdre raised a hand and called my name but whatever she wanted to talk to me about the answer was no. A big fat resounding NO.
Jadeite found me outside the building, shaking her head as she approached. “You have been acting so weird lately. Lunch?”
Early lunch at Happy Burger was our tradition, and my stomach actually rumbled. My wallet though….
I’d recently come into some money. A pretty decent chunk of pure cash actually, courtesy of those drug dealers Deirdre had eaten. Nobody but Lexus knew about the money and I intended to keep it that way. Especially since it was mostly gone. At first I’d been hoping to pay next semester’s tuition with it, but the owner of the house I’d been renting, along with three other guys, had not been pleased about it getting trashed by the drug dealers I’d robbed. You would not believe how quickly a wad of money will dwindle when you’re trying to repair a house, replace appliances, and don’t have a steady source of income.
Employers aren’t supposed to discriminate against people like me, those who’ve been altered through some magical means to possess a distinctly inhuman characteristic, like say, big ass freaking antlers, but they definitely do. And given the diminutive size of Woodhurst, there just weren’t enough jobs to go around. Given the option between antler boy and a regular college student, employers always went for the regular Joe. Guess nobody wants to be served a cheeseburger by someone who resembles an animal they might have eaten recently.
Which is all a roundabout way of saying I was going broke quick. Happy Burger was our thing but my diet was limited to ramen noodles and pop tarts for the time being.
Not hiding my disappointment, I slowly shook my head. “Going to have to pass.”
“Saving up to take Lexus out?” She asked with a sly grin.
Sometimes I couldn’t get a handle on how Jadeite felt about me and Lexus. Sometimes, like right now, she seemed super supportive. Other times, not so much. It was going to give me whiplash.
“Uh…actually I’m just…I need work.” I hated admitting it but if I couldn’t tell my best friend who could I tell? Apart from X, my adopted sister and confidante, but she wasn’t actually here while Jadeite was.
“Can’t find a job?”
“Nobody’s hiring,” I said.
“You waited kind of late to get looking,” she said. “I mean, most students were applying back during the winter break.”
I resisted the urge to ground my molars. “Thanks.”
The fact that I am a chronic procrastinator doesn’t change any of the facts mentioned above. Those hiring for positions don’t like hiring people with antlers. And if said person with antlers is applying in the middle of the semester that definitely doesn’t help their case.
She grinned. “You should thank me. I think I’ve got a job for you.” She eyed me up and down, and her grin widened. “You don’t mind getting a little sweaty, do you?”
Chapter Three
Jadeite gave me an address and told me to be there by 9:00 tomorrow morning. Given that it was a personal address and tomorrow was Saturday I was a little skeptical of what she was setting me up with but it wasn’t like I had anything else going on and I really needed the cash. She’d wrinkled her nose when I’d said I’d be there and told me not to show up like I had to class.
Then she paused, seeming to reconsider. “Actually, show up however the hell you like. You could probably jog there if you wanted.”
I went home, took a much needed shower, and then headed back up to campus to camp out at the school library. This wasn’t where I used to spend my Friday afternoons but after I’d used my last boon with the pixie Deirdre had been keeping prisoner to patch up my relationship with Jadeite said pixie had hinted that she knew what I was. Her phrasing had been odd and she liked calling me “hunter.” Given that and the oddness of my magic I’d begun to suspect that one of my parents may not have been entirely human.
See, I’d first thought that my antlers were a part of my curse, which was preventing me from developing any magical affinities. Having affinities for different types of magic makes working with that kind of magic a metric shit ton easier. Think of magic like a complicated math formula, an affinity is a lot like having a calculator for a particular type. When I broke my curse, I’d quickly discovered two magical affinities: sex and fire. I suspected I had one more but I wasn’t certain. And nobody else I knew had affinities that acted like mine did. Which is to say, they acted at all. Like I said, affinities are like calculators, not artificial intelligences. They aren’t supposed to act up or sleep or behave.
It seemed to me that figuring out what I was, apart from getting a job and steady income, should be my top priority. And so I’d become a regular fixture at the campus library. And it hadn’t done me any good whatsoever. I’d checked every random creature that could crossbreed with humans. Demons, faeries, even fallen angels (turns out lust is a distinctly un-angelic trait), but nothing matched. I certainly wasn’t a giant bursting with elemental power like the Nephilim, and while sex and fire definitely matched up with demons, none of them matched up in turn my green flames or antlers. Minor details, but details that debunked everything I came up with.
Besides which, the only way a demon could reproduce with a human was actually really complicated. It took two demons, usually an incubus and a succubus, working together. The succubus had to seduce a man, get his seed, give his seed to an incubus, who would then seduce a woman and impregnate her with the previous victim’s seed. And the humans were described as victims. Apparently demonic visitations, even of the lusty kind, left special kinds of scarring, including nightmares and occasional infertility. Not to mention that the offspring, called a cambion, was supposed to be a volatile little monster. They tended to be murderers, rapists, and generally not that bright. Shakespeare even wrote about one called Caliban in the Tempest and he was basically some dumbass toadie to this wizard called Prospero who in turn was a sanctimonious douche.
And that left me with faeries and changelings. And a fat lot of good that had done me. I’d grown so frustrated that I’d even started looking into Eastern and South American beasties such as the Encantado and the Yokai, despite my clearly Caucasian heritage. Nothing there either, by the way. I could occasionally find a faerie that seemed a little like me, but only a little. I could never make everything to match up. One would have antlers and be a serial rapist but wouldn’t have fire. One would have fire but couldn’t reproduce with humans without burning them to a crisp. I was this close to giving up, except that I was pretty sure that looking at faeries was the right direction. After all, the pixie had called me hunter. A faerie would know a faerie right? Or in the case of someone who was half and half, a changeling. It was especially frustrating because, given that I’d been adopted, being a changeling actually seemed the most
likely thing for me to be.
I was missing something. What it was I had no idea but the longer it eluded me the more frustrated I grew until I could hardly focus. Coming to the library had become more of a desperate habit than an actual pursuit of the truth. After two and a half hours of browsing through books that could have been used for weight training my eyes were beginning to glaze over. Which was when the giggling sorority girls decided to sit down at the next table over, talking in loud whispers.
Not that anyone was complaining about their noise—nobody ever complains about sorority girls making noise at the library unless they can’t appreciate the scenery. With their tight clothing and easy posture there was plenty of scenery to admire. Long legs, busts ranging from barely there to more than a pleasant handful and oh shit I was staring!
I made to jerk my head back down to my book before I came across as a complete creeper when one of the girls looked up and met my eyes. I don’t think she’d intended to, it was just one of those awkward moments that happens. Only it wasn’t awkward, because instead of blushing or looking away I held her gaze. And held it. Something stirred inside me and electricity seemed to crackle along the connection between us as her cheeks flushed.
She looked down in obvious embarrassment, only to glance back up, tucking a strand of light brown hair behind her ear. She was interested in me. I don’t know how I knew…no, I knew exactly how I knew. I could sense it now, my magic acting up between us. It sensed something between us, maybe a spark of lust, and had roused like a hungry animal sensing prey.
I grinned, a baring of teeth that brought another flush of color to her cheeks and made her eyes dart back to her work. Her friends noticed and I looked away as peals of laughter tore from the group. My erection throbbed in my jeans. I wanted her.
I scowled. Why did I want her? I mean, she was hot, beautiful really, but I’d literally just had sex that morning with a hot girl. Hot, passionate, wild sex. Briefly I wondered if sleeping with another woman would count as cheating on Lexus. We didn’t have anything official after all. We’d magically bonded and started going at it like rabbits but we hadn’t gone on anything resembling a real date.
I glanced up again and this time found the girl eyeing me, biting her lower lip. I felt something inside me stirring, my magic and my lust rising in response. It was just like this morning when I’d been chasing Lexus. I had to—had—to have this woman. I felt it in my chest. Felt myself give it a little reflexive push every time we made eye contact, sending a burst of erotic energy tingling through her body.
Both of us did our best to pretend we were studying, trying not to get caught by her friends. I definitely had the easier time of it. Her face steadily grew more and more flushed and though it was chilly in the library none of the other girls’ nipples were pressing so distinctly against their t-shirts. I grew harder as I realized fully the effect I was having upon her, the power I had over her. I could feel her arousal bleeding off of her body like heat from a fire and it made me want her more. Her leg began bouncing up and down with aroused energy that had no appropriate outlet and she couldn’t keep her attention on her books. Her friends started to give her funny looks, asking if she was okay.
Breathing heavily, she nodded and got up, I guess to go grab some books. I waited a few heartbeats and then followed. I found her in the stacks around the biology books, reaching for a heavy text a shelf too high for her to reach.
I came up behind her, pulled the text down, and handed it down to her. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she said, breathless. Her fingers closed around the textbook but she didn’t take it.
I pressed closer, pushing the book to the side until our bodies were close enough that we could feel one another’s body heat. Her heat was an inferno. I instinctively knew her panties were soaked, that she was clenching her thighs together with an aching need that we both wanted me to satisfy.
She stuttered, trying to find words and failing. Last week, if this girl had approached me, I would have been the one stuttering, unable to speak because I was overwhelmed. Now I felt powerful. This girl belonged to a cadre of the hottest girls on campus, knew it, and was still flustered by me. It made my grin widen. She smiled back at me, apparently liking the expression.
I brought my hand to her face and she inhaled, a sharp breath that made her entire body stiffen and her eyes close. They shot right back open, as if she had realized what she was doing, and she took a step back. “My friends....”
“Can wait,” I said, stepping forward to keep the distance between us minimal. Then I brought my mouth to hers, felt the pulse of my magic in time with my pounding heart. It rose, pouring from my mouth into hers and brought our body’s crashing together. Need rose up between us. I wanted her. Had to have her. Could feel that she wanted me too. Tasted her fear and excitement on our kiss. One hand wrapped fingers in her hair, pulling her lips more surely against mine, the other grabbed her pert ass and crushed her groin to mine.
The biology book fell from her hands, hitting the floor with a slap that reverberated throughout the silent library.
The noise brought me back to my senses. I didn’t know this girl. I wanted her, sure, but I didn’t even know her name. And what about Lexus? Just because we hadn’t put a label on it didn’t mean there wasn’t something there. I didn’t want to hurt Lexus. And I definitely didn’t want to hurt Jadeite and I knew that hurting Lexus would also hurt her stepsister. I’d done them both enough damage.
The sorority girl had taken a step back, breathing heavily as she stared at me. I could see her nipples still tenting her shirt, feel her lust radiating from her. But it was accompanied by fear. Some part of her recognized that something wasn’t quite right. That she had no real idea what was going on or control over the situation. My magic had pulled her to me, played on a desire she probably never would have acted on if left to her own devices.
Did that mean that everything that had just happened was solely the result of my magic, that she’d had no choice about kissing me? I’d felt my power. I could have continued pouring it into her and pushed her lust with my own. We could be having sex right here in between the books…but if it was all my magic, then how was what I was doing any different from dosing her with a date rape drug? Caught up in my power, could she have said no even if she wanted to?
I felt like I was going to be sick.
Apparently she felt the same because she turned around and ran, leaving the text book on the floor. Slowly I followed after, my feet heavy and slow. By the time I made it back to my table, she and her friends were gone.
Chapter Four
I stayed at the library longer than I’d intended. Up until now I hadn’t given a whole lot of thought to what my affinity for sex magic meant. The thought that I was a rapist was more than just unsettling, it felt as if the entire world had vanished beneath my feet and I’d fallen into a hungry chasm.
I wasn’t sure whether the way my magic seemed to act of its own accord at times made things better or worse. On the one hand, I could say, hey, it’s not me, it’s my magic. On the other, how could I ever trust if a woman’s interest in me was genuine? How could I be sure that just being around women I was attracted to wouldn’t hurt them? I’d stopped things this time, but what about the next? So many questions, each one gouging out a chunk of my insides. I had no answers. At least, none that were satisfactory.
And there was one question that was a real kick in the balls: had I been raping Lexus since the day I broke my curse? If so, that made me worse than the meth heads she’d fallen into before getting involved with me. I was a bigger monster than Deirdre.
I sat in the library staring blankly at the books spread out on the desk in front of me, the text all running together in blur. None of it made any sense. But I stared at it because I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone else.
It wasn’t until I thought about how Jadeite was going to hate me for what I’d done to her little stepsister that something occ
urred to me that put a metaphorical salve on my concern. I was attracted to Jadeite. Hell, I was more than attracted to her. She was gorgeous and my best friend and kind of perfect. And she hadn’t fallen victim to my magic. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
It didn’t make everything weighing on me suddenly okay, but that thought took a load off. I was able to take a deep breath and blink away the dryness in my eyes so that they could focus on what was actually in front of them. I put away my mess and headed home, crossing campus and taking the sidewalk along the park that I’d run down earlier with Lexus.
It was dark out. I hadn’t realized how long I’d been sitting there, wallowing in confusion and maybe more than a little self-pity. And damn if somehow all that wallowing hadn’t worn me out even worse than my exercise this morning had. I felt as if I could close my eyes and fall asleep standing up.
I did what I always did when I felt like complete shit. I called my adoptive sister, Sarah. She answered on the third ring with a cheerful greeting I barely heard.
“Am I a good person,” I asked her.
“Caleb, why would you ask me that?” She sounded concerned. Dammit, of course she’d be concerned. I hadn’t thought this through.
“It’s just, I don’t know that I am. You know?”
“Not really,” she said. “You’ve always seemed like a pretty upright guy to me. A little lazy but definitely more square than not.”
Square? She thought I was square? “I’m not square.”
She snorted. “Right. You still haven’t answered me. What’s got you thinking you’re a bad person? Is it something with Lexus? Did you break up with her?”
Break up with…”No! Lexus and I aren’t—”
“Whatever,” she said. “When you finally grow a pair and ask out Jadeite be sure you’ve cut things clean and completely with Lexus first. Whatever’s going on that’s got you feeling bad now, wait until you get into that kind of drama.”
The Horned Mage: Books 1-5 Page 8
