I nodded, slowly. “I think so…I have trouble getting girls pregnant, but somehow I changed Sarah’s baby to be mine?”
He shrugged. “Yes to the first part. I’ve no idea about the second. We need more tests. But this child, whether or not you actually conceived it, is likely the only one you will ever have.”
Chapter Four
Sarah eventually chased me out of the hospital. They were keeping her overnight just to be safe—though everyone was pretty sure she was out of the woods. Whatever damage the baby’s—our baby’s?—transformation had caused had been healed by the lycanthropy virus. Hurray for the super uterus.
I was so confused. I mean, nowhere near as confused as Sarah had to be, but she was taking everything with a serenity that made me feel like an adolescent idiot. Ok, technically I was still a teenager but…fuck. I was going to be a dad? It was still resonating with me very oddly and there were a thousand more tests the doctors were conducting.
It didn’t occur to me until I was almost to class the next morning that this really didn’t change anything. At least not for me, Sarah, or the baby.
I’d intended to be a father-figure and help Sarah raise him. What had changed? My magic had somehow injected itself into the unborn baby and made it mine by magic if not by sex? It was weird. Really, really weird, and it didn’t make a single functional difference. I was going to be a father. This just made me more keenly aware of the fact than before.
My world had changed fast and was only changing faster with every passing day. I was taking steps to regain control, or at least direction, but they weren’t enough. The simple fact was that I wasn’t in control. And that simply wouldn’t do. I needed to decide what I wanted and pursue it with everything I had. For the girls, for our baby, and for myself. We were happy, but it was all circumstantial. Our life right now was essentially a happy accident. Bad things had happened repeatedly and we’d miraculously emerged on the other side, not just alive, but in some ways better off.
Or at least, better off in some ways.
I hadn’t ever thought that I wanted kids. The possibility of them had always been an abstract concept, something for the distant future. Considering that none of us had been using protection though I should have asked myself why nothing had come of it. Now I knew. And maybe I’d ruined their chances of ever having kids.
The chances of me ever getting a girl pregnant were next to negligible. The chances of me getting Lexus, Sarah, or Victoria pregnant was nonexistent. Even if I was willing to step aside and let another man provide the sperm—a thought that made something primal and possessive writhe inside of me with unadulterated wrath—and then try to do to the fetus what I’d done with Sarah’s baby, there was no actual guarantee that the seed would take. If Sarah hadn’t already been pregnant when I’d…infected her…there was pretty much no way that she could have ever carried the child to term. And it was my fault. Again. Because I hadn’t figured things out sooner or thought to ask the right questions.
I sat down in my usual seat in class and watched a few moments later as Jadeite walked into the classroom, very carefully not looking at me. Her braids were pushed back so that her face was clearly on display. Was she wearing a hint of makeup? It looked good on her. The enormous jersey she wore struggled to hide her curves. It mostly succeeded but made her look heavier than she actually was, hanging from her enormous chest and catching on her curvy hips so that you couldn’t tell how sharply her waist curved. It was unflattering but I knew what was beneath it and liked being the only one in the room that did. It was like a secret between us.
Not that she was my confidante anymore. And that was my fault too. I considered that for a moment. I wasn’t asking the right questions again. That was the story of my life right there. It needed to change.
Professor Hardin and Deirdre She walked into the classroom a moment later and began the lecture. Hardin was…an asshole. Almost as smart as his sister, whose house I was living in, but with none of her kindness. I hadn’t forgiven him for knowing how to break my curse and then not helping me so that he could coerce me into being a research project. He’d been more interested in the curse itself than doing any actual good.
And then there was Deirdre. One of the most terrifying beings I had ever encountered. She had helped me back before I knew what she was. I still didn’t know why she had helped me—stealing Hardin’s notes on breaking my curse and emailing them to me—but I’d been grateful. Past tense because shortly after that I’d learned the truth about her.
She’d been in charge of a meth lab using pixie dust to lace the drugs. Then she’d been in league with Jadeite’s father, Crimson Rush, who was kidnapping and selling girls. Around the time I learned that last part she’d kidnapped me, held me prisoner, and dislocated my finger. If it hadn’t been for Jadeite she probably would have eaten me like she had Crimson and her meth-making buddies. I didn’t actually know what Deirdre was, only that she turned into a snake that could probably swallow a dinosaur and had more magical power than anyone I had ever seen.
And she knew that I knew her secret. Also she knew that I had interfered in her business affairs more than once. I’d been promised that if I kept it up she would eat me. Hell, she might just choose to eat me anyway. I could be sitting here with my future murderer. Fuck, the way my life was going some random banshee hobo could wander into town and shank me tomorrow. There was a serious possibility of my death.
My eyes drifted back to Jadeite, who was very carefully not looking at me. I was taking steps to take control of my life and its direction, however brief that might it might be. However selfish it might be. I didn’t know everything that I wanted, but I knew one of them, and I wanted it more than anything else. Had for a very, very long time.
The giant snake in human skin and the psychotic professor trying to make us panic before our exams faded away. I took notes and paid attention and listed everything that I would need to review for my finals, but none of it mattered. Not compared to what I was about to do.
My stomach did weird things, going all tight and then alternating between hot and cold. It was this feeling that had kept me paralyzed for so long. Kept me from asking that one question that could have made everything amazing if I had only the courage to ask it. Because if it went wrong it could go very, very wrong. I mean supernova in your face ruining the best friendship I’d ever had kind of awful. Except that I’d already lost her hadn’t I?
Class ended. Hardin said something but I ignored him and Deirdre both. Those two could suck it. I had to do the scariest thing I had ever dared to even consider.
“Jadeite!” I called, following her out into the hall.
She paused, whole body stiffening. There was something about her expression that seemed—had she been crying? Who had hurt her? The flash of anger momentarily devoured my terror. But only for a moment because then I realized that I was probably the asshole that had hurt her. My wrists felt like something was vibrating inside of them and my heart vacillated in never-ending staccato that was almost painful in my chest.
“What, Caleb?”
“Can I take you out to dinner?” I asked. Blurted really.
Her eyes narrowed. “Caleb, we’ve talked about this. We’re not—“
“Not as friends. I want to take you on a date.”
She fixed me with a glare I had hoped to never be on the receiving end of.
I ploughed on. I was already all in and had nothing left to lose. If she got mad at me…then she got mad at me.
“Jadeite. I’ve been infatuated with you since we first met. You were my best friend and beautiful and smart—way smarter than me. And I didn’t want to risk that friendship because—because it was better to be near you than to risk not being near you at all.”
Oh my God, I sounded like the biggest idiot. Words kept falling out of my mouth. At any moment now she was going to turn around and just walk away or haul off and let me have it.
“But we’re not
friends anymore and you’re right, that’s my fault. But I never wanted to just be your friend. I know my circumstances are complicated but I am crazy about you. I am literally losing my mind.
“I was just sitting in class and realized that I could die tomorrow. I still could, I mean, my life is stupid. But! I’m trying to take control of things and move toward the things that I want. And I want…God, I want you. More than anything else. May I—Jadeite. May I please take you on a date?”
She stared at me, her expression unchanging. Damn, I had to have sounded so stupid. That was the look she gave to stupid people.
My chest was caving in. I couldn’t breathe. It was as if I had sprinted for over a mile without the aid of my magic. Was I sweating? Oh my Dear and Fluffy Lord, please don’t let me be sweating all over her.
She lifted a hand casually to her mane of braids and tossed some over her shoulder. “You can pick me up at eight tomorrow.”
She turned and walked away down the hall.
Breathing. Right, I could remember how to do that. I let out a huge breath and nearly sagged.
I’d asked her out. And she’d said yes.
Abruptly I was upright again. She’d said yes!
I don’t know what possessed me to hurry out the door after her, but I did, and came up short as I rounded the corner and found her doing a jig like a football player who had just scored a touchdown, stomping quickly in place and shaking her head and silently screaming as her braids bounced everywhere. She was happy. More than happy.
Something inside of me warmed and I took a quiet step back. She’d be embarrassed if she knew I’d seen her—but that was a happy memory I would take with me to my grave.
I’d asked Jadeite Rush out and she’d not only said yes, she was excited about it!
Chapter Five
My elation was enough to carry me through what would have otherwise been an utterly miserable experience with the lawyers. My own lawyer, Bob Avery, did his best to keep things from becoming too uncomfortable, but there was only so much he could do. I answered question after awkward question, gave sworn statements, and signed legal documents. There was still more to do but Bob eventually cut things off and told me to get going before my brain fried. Painful as all that had been, it hadn’t completely eroded my good spirits and I was even able to see some of the good that was coming out of it.
Sarah and I would be inheriting the house. Technically Mrs. Marshal, my adopted mother would, but Sarah would be the one in control of her assets and appointed legal guardian. We’d have money and a place to stay if things worked out. Say what you will about that monster who’d called himself her father, he’d run a good business as a therapist (the irony is not lost on me) and saved up well. We’d be well enough off while getting on our feet. Not for long, but for long enough.
I had Bob drop me off at the hospital where Sarah was still being kept. It was getting later in the afternoon by this point and the heat from the Texas sun had me sweating from the brief trip from Bob’s truck to the hospital proper. Naturally, it was so cold inside the hospital I could feel said sweat freezing to my flesh and conspiring to give me hypothermia.
I’d barely walked into Sarah’s room when she grinned at me, emerald eyes flashing. “What on earth got you so excited earlier?”
I blushed. I mean a serious, full on, little school girl blush. After everything we’d been through and talked about I really shouldn’t have been embarrassed. And yet I was. And not just embarrassed. Suddenly my chest was closing up, trying to crush my lungs in my chest.
The girls and I had established the rules of dating a little while ago—right after the mess with Albert Marshal, actually. They applied equally to all of us. I’d made that insistence even though on a gut level I knew that they wouldn’t go for any other guys. Honestly, I’m not sure if I could handle it if they did. I’m a selfish hypocrite that way.
But I had adhered to the rules so far. I’d made the overtures and now I had to let them know. After that, we would decide together how far things would be allowed to progress. The fact was that sex with me was…dangerous. We risked binding someone else to our group every time I did it with someone new. We’d dodged a bullet that one time Reagan—Lexus’s mother and Jadeite’s stepmother—and I had been forced to have sex with each other.
The thing was, as amazing as being with all my girls were, and how much I loved them, Jadeite had always been the girl for me. I’d wanted her since we’d first met and kept a quiet little ember burning for her in my heart. I didn’t want to go around dating a bunch of girls—though I wouldn’t sacrifice my current relationships for the world—I’d only just wanted the one. It was selfish and not fair to anyone else involved, but I wanted Jadeite. Physically ached for her. And if I got her, who else would I need?
If things with the legal bullshit all worked out, I got my internship with Eleanor, and the girl’s Horned Mage project took off we’d be set. Quite literally the closest thing to a perfect life I could imagine.
“What did you do, Caleb?” Sarah said in a singsong voice. “What you do? What you do?”
“Shut up,” I said, trying not to laugh. That helped. My lungs were suddenly working a little bit better. Sarah always knew how to manage me. Then again, if I was right that I’d somehow bound her even while my curse was in place, she’d had years of experience.
I took a deep breath and said, “I asked Jadeite out on a date.”
Sarah squealed. The white hospital sheet flew up into the air as her feet were suddenly a blur, kicking up and down and bouncing off the hospital bed. “Caleb!”
If it weren’t for the tone of voice with which she’d said my name I would have thought she was upset or having a fit. I tilted my head as I recognized something. The whole excited jogging-in-place-thing she was doing, despite being horizontal, was pretty dang similar to what Jadeite had just done when she didn’t think I could see her. Had Sarah, my childhood hero, somehow influenced my attraction to Jadeite or was this just a universal thing?
“I’m so proud of you,” she said, when she’d calmed down. “Come here, come here and tell me all about it. Right now.”
So I made my way over to the hospital bed and let her squeeze me hand with way more strength than I’d ever thought her capable of. Not that she hadn’t been strong, but now her strength had been magically enhanced by my enchanted version of the lycanthropy virus. I walked her through the conversation, summarizing the events.
She scowled, hit me in the arm, and made me start over, demanding more details. I tried to give them to her but she made me tell the damn story three more times anyways, complaining each time that I wasn’t telling her enough. Honestly, I have no idea what she wanted to hear more about. It was exciting, yeah, but it was still just a conversation. What details were there to give?
Finally she gave up with a sigh and wave of her hand. “You are hopeless. Don’t ever try to make a career in something that makes you tell stories.”
I shrugged. Somehow I didn’t think that would be a problem.
“You don’t have a problem with this?” I asked. Obviously she didn’t but because I’m an idiot I couldn’t resist looking the gift-horse in the mouth.
“Of course not,” she said. “You’ve been in love with that girl since you got here. Every time we were on the phone it was Jadeite did this or Jadeite did that. Honestly I was expecting the wedding invitation months ago.”
“You’re hilarious.”
She beamed at me. “I know. So where are you taking her?”
A knock sounded on the hospital room door.
Reagan stood there, looking nice in a pair of jeans and blouse, her resemblance to Lexus clear in the shape of her face, if not her more ample curves. Feline and lithe, but her daughter was an athlete and burned up pretty much every calorie she ever consumed and then some. It made Reagan look softer and gentler than her daughter.
“Hi, Sarah,” she said. There was something off about her to
ne.
I sniffed the air reflexively and smelled it. She was scared and her fear filled the room with a scent that was both sour and delicious, like some kind of soup that just demanded to be sipped. It made me salivate and I tried to resist the other, more disturbing, arousal that rose in me. Demon and fae heritage had some gross side effects.
“Hi, Caleb, Sarah,” she said. “I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing?”
Probably true but that wasn’t what had her so nervous.
“Doing a lot better now,” Sarah said. “Honestly they’re just being a bunch of ninnies. I’m going home with Caleb after this. And did you hear? He and Jadeite have a date tomorrow.”
Reagan stiffened at that and bit her lip. “Th-that’s…of course they are. That’s great. That’s just….” She sank to the floor, shoulders shaking.
I rushed to her side, Sarah flying out of the bed behind me, sending all sorts of machines beeping as they disconnected from her. We pulled Reagan into us, wrapping our arms around her and guided her into the least uncomfortable chair in the room.
A nurse arrived a moment later but we waved her off. She didn’t leave until we’d let her tinker with the machines first so that they quit making those obnoxious sounds. Even after she’d left though, it took us several more minutes of gentle coaxing to get Reagan to talk.
“I-I was debating with myself whether or not I should even tell you,” she said to me. “I mean, it’s…it’s complicated. And then Lexus told me about what the doctor said.”
What had the doctor said? Did this have something to do with Sarah?
She took a deep breath, wiped a tear from her eye and continued. “And—and I realized it might be the only chance you ever have to…to be a father.”
The Horned Mage: Books 1-5 Page 34
