“This weekend?”
“The nature shoot? He must have told you about it.”
Nat laughed and the sound of it took Kate back twenty years. It was the same snide, affected laugh she’d heard so often as a child. Her stomach turned over.
“I thought he was messing with me.”
“No,” Kate said slowly. “He’s booked you in. You’re doing it.”
Nat’s fingers strayed again to the photos, sliding them against each other, looking through them. Her fingers were long, the nails short and oval, the moons of them glowing whitely against the olive of her skin. For just a millisecond Kate could feel those same soft fingers tracing across her skin. She had to close her eyes to get the image out of her mind.
“What exactly is it? This shoot?”
“It’s a portfolio shoot. Up in the mountains, at an old wooden cabin that belonged to my grandfather. We leave Friday afternoon, come back Sunday or Monday depending on how it goes.”
There was an eye roll that was so distinct that Kate could almost hear it.
“Me? A portfolio shoot? Like hell am I doing that.”
She picked up her glass again, ice tinkling and pushed the photos to one side. Kate thought carefully before she spoke. She remembered what Mel had told her about honesty. She remembered the hissed conversation between Brooks and Nat at the shoot. Then she cleared her throat.
“I think we can both help each other out here,” she said.
Nat scowled suspiciously, but Kate could tell that her interest was peaked. Even scowling she looked beautiful. Kate’s eyes shot down to the cleavage that was becoming more apparent as the silk robe slid further and further open. She felt a stirring inside her that she hadn’t felt for a long time. She ignored it.
“It’s easy to say what I’m getting out of the deal,” she said, looking Nat in the eye again.
“You get me,” snorted Nat.
“I get you,” she agreed. “And you’ll be the star of my portfolio. Enough to get me any job I want. One job in particular, in fact. A job in New York.”
“Eugh. What a horrible place to live,” Nat said. “All snow and rudeness. Why the hell would you want to live there?”
Kate smiled. “For all kinds of reasons. But that’s not important. What is important is what you could get out of this deal.”
“Which is?”
She had to be careful now. Very careful. She had no idea if Nat knew her conversation with Brooks had been overheard, no idea how volatile she was likely to be if her problems were put into words. But if she was going to be honest, she didn’t have a lot of choice.
“You’ve been getting some bad press,” she said. “Brooks isn’t happy about it.”
“Brooks will learn to live with it,” snapped Nat. “He always has before.”
“But it’s his job to put you up for jobs, isn’t it? And, well, I’ve been a photographer for a while now. I know how it goes. You’ve got another year or two left of modeling work, then you move into TV, right?”
“Obviously,” Nat said, taking a big gulp of her drink. “Get to the point.”
“Well, is Brooks really going to be putting you up for the best jobs if he’s worried that you, well, that you’re not, shall we say mature enough to handle them?” She held up her hands to prevent the vitriol that she was sure was about to spew from Nat’s mouth. “No, let me finish here. You need Brooks on-side. Hell, for that matter you need the TV stations on-side. A friend of mine let slip that Channel 5 was interested in you and decided not to hire you.”
She let that thought sit for a minute as Nat’s face turned from olive to pink to almost red with anger.
“But that’s not the way it should be,” Kate soothed. “Once you’re in a TV role I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it. You’re a professional after all.”
Nat’s color calmed a little and Kate wondered just when the hell she’d become so diplomatic. She wasn’t exactly lying, but then she couldn’t be telling the truth either since she had no idea how Nat would act if she was given a little responsibility.
“So, you come on my shoot,” she said. “And once it’s done, I’ll give Brooks a glowing report of your behavior. Tell him how mature and responsible you’ve been. That even though this was just a portfolio shoot you still gave it your all like the pro you are. And maybe then he’ll be just as persuaded as I am that you’re ready to move up to the big leagues, ready to go on TV.”
Nat looked down at the photos again and Kate had no sense at all of what she was thinking. After what seemed like a long time, Nat pulled her robe closer together and stood up. And Kate knew that she’d lost. Honesty was not the best policy. Shit. She was going to kill Mel. She stayed on the couch as Nat walked away, as she started to climb the stairs. Only when she was halfway up did she say anything.
“Pick me up on Friday at three.”
And then she disappeared back to wherever she’d come from, leaving Kate sitting alone in the extravagant living room.
Chapter Five
She’d expected to have to wait. After all, being late seemed like Nat’s default state. But when she pulled the van up to the apartment building, Nat was already there. Large sunglasses covered her face, her legs were encased in tight, pale jeans, and a white shirt billowed in the breeze. Her hair was flowing free, tangled by the afternoon air. Kate’s heart beat harder.
Not that she was angry that Nat was on time for once. She’d just thought that she’d have a little more time to prepare herself was all. She’d gotten what she wanted. Nat was going to do the shoot. But that didn’t mean she was at peace with the idea. In fact, the thought of spending an entire weekend with the woman terrified her. Not least because there was every chance that Nat was going to behave like a sulky teenage for the entire trip.
“Hey.”
The window was already rolled down and Kate only had to stick her head outside. To her surprise, she was greeted by a wide grin.
“Hey yourself,” Nat said. “Let’s do this thing! Roadtrip!”
Ah, so she was going to be that kind of teenager. Fantastic. Better than sulking though, Kate supposed. Nat shifted the large straw bag on her shoulder and started to practically dance around the van to the passenger side.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Kate called after her.
A black travel bag sat abandoned on the sidewalk. Nat paused, looked at the bag, looked at Kate and for a quick second Kate thought the fighting would start here and now. She held her breath. But Nat simply shrugged, danced back to the bag, picked it up and reversed her path to the rear of the van to throw it in the trunk.
“Nice ride,” she said when she clambered into the van herself.
“It does the job,” Kate said shortly. “And it’s big enough to fit all my equipment.”
“As long as it gets us there in one piece,” sniffed Nat.
Getting out of the city in the late afternoon traffic was a nightmare and Kate took every shortcut that she knew. Nat stayed thankfully silent as the fume-laden air drifted in through the windows. But finally they hit the highway and Kate relaxed a little.
“What about some music?” asked Nat.
Kate side-eyed her. She was smiling. Even being polite.
“You seem full of the joys of springtime,” she said.
“No point in being depressed about it, it’s a job. Brooks gave me a talking to. He’s putting me up for an audition next week.”
“I assume that’s providing I give you a glowing review.”
“Yep,” Nat said, seemingly unconcerned by this. “Besides I like the mountains.” She must have caught sight of Kate’s expression because she added: “What? I’m not allowed to like nature? I love the city, but the fresh air is great for my skin. So, about that music?”
As they traveled Kate found her guard slowly dropping. She was less terrified, growing more comfortable. Nat was behaving herself. Perhaps Mel had been right about the whole honesty thing. It was a symbiotic relationship.
Joyfully, Nat plugged the cable into her phone and Kate regretted her sudden generosity. In all likelihood, she was about to get two hours of thumping club music that would leave her with a headache before they even arrived. But to her surprise when Nat put down her phone she heard the familiar strains of Fleetwood Mac. She almost laughed.
Before long, her fingers were tapping on the steering wheel. Nat was singing quiet and low and Kate found herself humming. And then singing under her breath. And then Nat started giving it her all. Wind rushed through the windows, blowing at their hair, tires crunching over the smooth dry tarmac. Bass pounded and the scent of pine trees came through the vents. And Nat was singing and then Kate was too and somewhere, somehow a transition had happened. A transformation even. Kate’s heart became lighter, her smile became less forced, and perhaps this weekend wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
Nat’s voice cracked on the high notes, and she missed words in verses frequently. But it didn’t seem to bother her, so Kate didn’t let it bother her either. In the back of her head, she wondered what she was doing. She never sang in front of anyone, ever. But it didn’t seem to matter. This was... fun.
“We should do that one again,” Nat said as Songbird came to an end. “You were pretty good.” She picked up her phone and hit repeat and the music began again.
Kate relaxed into the driving seat. Almost there.
✽✽✽
There remained a problem. Kate was under strict instruction to search Nat’s belongings before letting her in the cabin. And as much as she didn’t want to, it was to her own benefit to do so. The last thing she needed was a hungover, doped up Nat tomorrow. Particularly when they didn’t have a makeup artist and Nat would be dealing with her own cosmetics.
Twigs crackled as Kate slowly gunned the van up the steep familiar slope. She was happy to be here, the cabin was more like home than home. But there was a tint of sadness too. Whenever she came up here she expected to see her grandfather emerging to greet her. Expected to see his face just one more time. Four years and she still expected to see him any minute. She swallowed and forced the van to go faster.
“Here we are then,” she said.
“You know, you’re not a bad singer,” Nat was saying. “Have you ever done karaoke? I bet you’d like it.”
“Hell no,” Kate said. “I’d never sing in public.”
“You just sang in front of me.”
“Not the same thing.”
She left out the part where she had no clue what had prompted her to start singing along with Nat. But the subject was changed quickly enough.
“Is this it?” Nat said, lowering her sunglasses just enough to look over the top of them at the small wooden cabin nestled in the trees.
“Yes,” Kate said guardedly. “Got a problem?”
She steeled herself for the criticism.
“It’s so cute!”
Nat jumped out of the van and Kate smiled to herself. Honestly, the girl was full of surprises today.
But as Nat was inspecting the outside of the cabin, Kate saw that she’d left her straw bag in the seat well. She glanced up and saw Nat was busy, so she took her chance.
She felt dirty. Dirty and wrong and vaguely sick as she pawed through Nat’s belongings. And even dirtier and sicker and more guilty when she didn’t find anything other than makeup, electronics and the clutter that most women carried around with them. She pushed the bag back to the floor.
Nat was peering into the cabin windows now. Kate opened her door and jumped down. The smell of the loamy soil and damp trees greeted her. Nat’s case was in the back. She couldn’t shake the sick feeling as she opened the trunk then opened the case and briefly fumbled through it.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
The words came just as her hand clasped around something smooth and cool. She pulled out a bottle of vodka. Nat’s eyes were fire as she approached the van. Kate hardened her heart.
“Brooks’ orders,” she said. “No booze, no pills, no sex. Anything else in here I should know about?”
“No.”
The question had stopped Nat in her tracks and the answer was sullen. And a lie. Kate had been considering just closing the case, but the lie made her angry enough that she continued searching, riffling through clothes until she found a small plastic bag. She held it up for Nat’s inspection, several white pills glowing inside it. Nat said nothing, her shoulders slumped.
“Best get inside then,” said Kate.
She left the case open and stepping around Nat went to the cabin door, unlocking it, vodka and pills still in her hand. When she looked back Nat was putting her clothes back in the bag. She breathed a sigh of relief. Hurrying into the bathroom she locked the door, hid the vodka in a pile of muddy towels left over from her last trip, and sprinkled the pills into the toilet before flushing it.
There. Job done. But her feeling of lightness was gone. She knew that she’d just destroyed whatever small bond had been built in the van. And surprisingly, that bothered her.
“You’re not here to make friends,” she told her reflection in the mirror.
But her blue eyes stared back at her and she hated herself for feeling bad.
“She’s a bully.”
Somehow that didn’t help either.
“She’s got problems and needs your help.”
The bad feeling eased a little. Kate nodded at herself in the mirror. What had started well was unlikely to be quite the walk in the park that she’d started to think it could be. She sighed. Time to face the music. Nat’s footsteps sounded on the wooden floor outside.
✽✽✽
“Dinner’s ready.”
“I’m not hungry.”
Nat was curled in a corner of the couch where she’d spent the last hour, phone in hand. Kate sucked at her teeth and counseled herself to be patient. Nat was mad. She got it. She’d be mad too if someone had gone through her belongings. She left the steaming bowls of soup on the small table and went to sit at the other end of the couch.
“You can be mad all you want,” she said. “But I’m the only person you have to talk to for the next two days, so you might want to consider snapping out of it.”
Nat just waved her phone at Kate like she was stupid. Kate bit her lip and didn’t laugh.
“There’s no cell service up here,” she said softly.
There was an eye roll and a larger than usual sigh.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“Because you wouldn’t have come if I had.”
A small smile twitched the corners of Nat’s mouth. “Probably not,” she admitted.
“Listen, what I did was an intrusion, I get that. And it’s not something I’d normally do. I am sorry. But Brooks was quite definite about it, it was all part of the deal. And besides, you’re supposed to be de-toxing. It’s only for two days, Nat. Can it be that bad?”
It was, she realized, the first time she’d spoken her name.
“I suppose not.”
“You might even feel better for it. It’s worth a try. Once you’re back in the city, I’m out of your hair and you can do what you want.”
Nat nodded slightly.
“So, can we sit at the table and eat something? We should get an early night, I want to get the nice light in the morning and that’s going to mean getting up early.”
Nat didn’t answer, but she did finally stir and eventually made her way to the table.
✽✽✽
“...so then we hit Waves, you know that club downtown? And Rita, she’s the one I told you about that I set up with that makeup artist job, had the most amazing uppers. God knows what they were, but they made you feel like you were flying, and then...”
Kate listened with half an ear. She’d thought
that asking Nat about her life in LA would be a good way of getting her to open up. Or at least a way to fill the silence. But all Nat talked about was parties she’d been to and people she’d seen. None of whom Kate knew.
The sunglasses were propped up on top of Nat’s head, and her eyes were bright in the dim light of the cabin. She wore no makeup and looked better for it in Kate’s opinion. She looked younger, fresher, healthier without the cosmetics. She’d complained about the lack of wine with dinner but had otherwise behaved herself. She was trying, Kate thought. The TV audition Brooks had promised her was obviously important to her.
“...and then this guy who none of us had even seen before latches on to the back of the group. And the bouncer is like ‘is he with you?’ and Jake, just for a laugh, says yes. So we all get into the VIP section and then this guy slips me a baggie of something...”
Every name she mentioned, other than Brooks or Jake, had to be qualified with something that Nat had done for the person concerned. Kate doubted that Nat even noticed it. But it was obvious to her that the majority of people Nat hung out with were only there because she got them jobs or drugs or gave them money. It saddened her in a way she couldn’t quite describe.
“What about Jake?” she asked, wanting to move the conversation along. “How did you guys meet?”
Nat snorted. “Uh, the official story is we met at the premiere of one of his stupid films. But I wasn’t finished, so we all walk into the restaurant and...”
Her look changed when she talked about Jake. Not in the kind of ‘girl hopelessly infatuated and in love’ kind of way that might be expected. More in a bored way. Like Jake wasn’t even worth mentioning. And Kate remembered the tension in Nat’s apartment. Maybe they were fighting. Maybe they were breaking up, keeping things together for the press while they figured out what to do. This was LA, after all.
She let Nat talk on, boast on, for another half an hour before reminding her that they really should get to bed.
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