by River Savage
“Shut up,” I say, moving over and taking a seat next to her. I can’t bear to look up at Jesse, so I focus on Kadence and Holly across from me.
“You okay?” Kadence mouths and I shake my head, too embarrassed to get into it right now. She offers a soft smile then turns to look at Jesse. I move my stare to my feet, still not ready to address what just went down.
“Okay, well, I think that concludes the night’s activities. Thank you for a great night, guys, but I need some beauty sleep before my wedding tomorrow.” Holly winks and then lets Sy pull her away. Kadence and Nix say their goodbyes shortly after and follow behind them, obviously in need of their own beauty sleep.
“Well, this blows. I’m nowhere near ready for this night to end. We still had strippers to see.” Lissy sulks next to me then turns her body toward Beau. “Unless you wanna fuck, Beau?” I’m not surprised by her directness. It’s just the way she is, but I am surprised when Beau shrugs first then nods.
“You good to get up to the room?” She turns back to me then shifts her gaze to Jesse.
“I have my room key. I’m good.” I keep my eyes off Jesse and try to figure out a way I can murder her and get away with it. She was telling me to get over him earlier. Now she’s pushing me to talk to him.
“I’ll make sure she gets up, Lissy,” Jesse adds, finally stealing my gaze.
“I’ll be fine, but thank you.” I give him a smile that says I don’t need him, and then turn back to Lissy. “Go.” I roll my eyes when she bounces her brows.
“Love you, let Jesse walk you up.” She laughs, stands, takes Beau’s hand and lets him pull her away. Well shit.
“So looks like it’s just you and me,” Jesse finally says when they make their way through the club.
I look over to Hunter for help, but he just shrugs before standing and leaving us alone. Great.
“Listen, Jesse, I’ll be fine to get up to my room,” I tell him as I come to my feet. I reach for my bag and get ready to walk off, before his hand reaches out and stops me.
He tugs me into him and whispers in my ear, “I’m not willing to risk it.” His hot breath hits my skin, forcing an awareness to spike through me that starts from his hold around my wrist and heading straight to my stomach. I try to pull out of his hold, but it’s pointless when he just pulls me closer.
“I’m quite capable, Jesse.”
“I’m sure you are, Bell, but I’m insisting.” His touch and the way he rolls his tongue over my name has my breath quickening. “Please, don’t fight me,” he adds before stepping back and cutting our connection.
Resigned to him following this through, I nod once and let him lead the way to the elevators. He stays close to my side, his palm on the small of my back. I want to step out of his touch, tell him that having him in my space is messing with me, but I don’t. I just keep walking, vowing not to engage with him again.
“So, how have you been, Bell?” Jesse finally breaks the silence when we come to a halt in front of the elevators.
I don’t respond at first. My vow not to cave, is fresh. I refuse to give in.
“We can do this the hard way, or the easy way.” Jesse steps in closer but I retreat.
“Or we can not do it at all,” I counter with a forced smile.
“I promise you, you won’t like the hard way.” He ignores me and continues to make threats.
“I’m good. Busy,” I relent, answering his first question and not liking the glint in his eyes. It’s like he’s wanting to push me right now, and it’s making me vulnerable.
“You?” I find myself asking, wanting to know.
“Better.” He rocks on his feet, keeping his eyes on the highlighted buttons above the door. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at hearing his honesty. Why couldn’t he just say good?
“I heard you moved out with Lissy.” He keeps the conversation going and even if I don’t want to talk to him, I can’t help but answer.
“Yeah, you were right. I had to move out. Live my life,” I whisper, remembering his last words to me that night.
“Damn it, Bell. I’m an ass. You shouldn’t have listened to me.” He sighs, turning his body to face me.
“Yes, Jesse. You were an ass, a big one. But alas, you were right. I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me.” I look up, giving him a pass. I know it was hard to hear those words from him, but as much as I hated it, he was right. I needed to get out of my parents’ house, from under their hold.
“Still doesn’t make it right.” He steps closer and my breath catches in my throat. Where is this elevator? Trying not to give him my eyes, I shift my stare back to the doors, willing them to open.
“Jesse, you were in a bad place. I get it. I do. I don’t hate you. I’ve forgiven you for that.”
“You have?” he asks as the doors slide open. Ignoring the hope I hear in his voice, I enter the elevator and hit the button to my floor. Jesse follows behind me, dashing my hopes of a clean getaway.
“I have to say, Bell, that’s the last thing I was expecting.”
“Why? You think I would hold a grudge? I’m not like that and you’re not a bad person. You have a big heart,” I admit, pressing the close door button repeatedly, wishing everything would hurry up.
“But you haven’t been taking my calls, returning my texts.” It’s not a question, but a statement. One I was hoping not to address.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Jesse. But you did. Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean everything between us is okay.” I give it to him straight, needing him to understand I’m still hurting.
“I know, baby.” He steps forward and I nearly cave with the way he calls me baby. “I fucked up more than I ever have in my entire life and I’m going to make it up to you.” He carefully steps more into my space.
“Please, Jesse, don’t make this harder than it has to be.” I close my eyes, my resolve slipping. Get it together, Bell. He gets you alone in an elevator and you melt into a puddle of need.
“Look at me,” he demands, his warm breath hitting my face. My eyes spring open at the demand and I swallow when I realize how close he is. “I’m not giving up, Bell.” He shakes his head, determination etched into his face, and it frightens me. How can I resist him?
“What we had, it wasn’t healthy.” A whimper flies past my lips when he dips his head and runs his nose along my jaw.
“No, Bell. I won’t accept that. What we had was real.” His voice is solid and sure. I’m almost reassured by it, but my defiance comes crashing back just as the elevator doors spring open. Seeing my chance to escape, I push him back, breaking our connection.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Jesse.” I rush past him, retreating to my room.
“You are though. You’re hurting me right now, Bell. Acting like I mean nothing to you when we both know that’s a lie.” He follows close behind me. Feeling myself slipping back into his spell, I walk faster to get to my door.
“No, you did this to us.” I reach the door, my hands shaking as I fumble around inside my purse in search of my room key.
“Sweetheart, please will you just look at me,” he whispers his plea, getting me right where he wants me. Reluctantly, I turn and watch him step in close again. My head is screaming at me to push him back, put an end to all of this, but my body’s weak, my mind confused. “Okay, I came on too strong tonight. But, Bell, you have to know, I’m not walking away from this. I will win you back and when I do, you will be mine.” He delivers his warning with a fierceness I’ve never seen in him.
“You can’t just come back into my life and tell me what you want, Jesse.” I try to reason with him. The man has lost his mind if he thinks this is how it works.
“I just did. And it will happen. I will do everything in my power to make that happen. You’re fighting it right now. I get that. I’m the world’s biggest fool for pushing you out, but you and I both know this is going to happen. You and me, we aren’t done. Don’t ever say that. Now turn around, put the key in the door a
nd get inside before I strip you naked right here and fuck you so hard you’ll know how far from done we are.” I close my eyes and swallow the large lump in my throat. “Now, Bell!” he barks, almost pushing me over.
Knowing I’m not going to get anywhere with him tonight, I turn, swipe my card and push open the door. I’m about to walk through when he calls me back.
“Oh and, Bell,”—he waits till I’m facing him—“you won’t be needing this.” He holds up the card Grant left with me, takes it in his fingers and rips it in half. How the hell did he get that?
“You ever think about having another man’s cock near your pussy, my pussy, I’ll tie you to my bed and keep you there for a week to remind you who you belong to. You understand me?” His words drip with authority, need, and my hand moves to the doorframe to keep myself standing. I might not want to admit it, but I knew the second the threat left his mouth fighting him wasn’t worth it.
“Good girl.” He takes my silence as an answer. “Now lock the door,” he orders again. Needing to clear the fog from my head, I do as I’m told. Shutting the door, I twist the lock and then slide down to the floor.
I’m unsure what has just happened.
I know I liked it, but more so, I know I’m completely screwed.
Thirty-Nine
JESSE
“You can’t just come back into my life and tell me you want me back, Jesse.”
I replay her words over in my head for the hundredth time the next morning. Yeah, I can, sweetheart. I chuckle to myself as I grab my phone and begin my next play. I know I’m playing a dangerous game by walking back into her life and demanding she take me back, but when I walked into that club last night and saw her laughing with some fucker, she left me no choice. I needed to stake my claim and I needed to do it quickly. Sure, I could have done it in a better way. Given her a chance to warm up to the idea, but any hope of staying calm and acting reasonable went out the window the minute that Grant fucker handed my woman his number. He’s lucky I didn’t lay him out.
Forcing myself to forget the asshole, I type out my text and press send.
ME: How did you sleep?
I sit back down in my chair, willing her to respond. I smile, knowing my play worked when a few minutes later my phone beeps with a reply.
BELL: Fine, until you disturbed it.
I laugh reading her reply and quickly type back. Yeah, I’m not giving up because even though her mouth said one thing, her eyes said another. She’s just fighting more than I expected.
ME: Was I in your dreams?
I hold back a laugh and press send just as there’s a knock at my door. Leaving my phone on the table, I stand and move to the door expecting room service, but I’m disappointed when I find Holly.
“Morning.” She pushes past me, walking into my hotel room with Sy on her tail and baby X in his arms.
“What’s up?” I ask, shutting the door and moving back to the sofa.
“Nothing, just wanted to see how the rest of your night went?” Holly asks, pouring herself a cup of coffee and taking a sip.
“Okay, just came back here.” I look to Sy and watch him drink out of the OJ carton.
“Don’t you have your own room?” I ask, watching Holly start moving about, taking over my small kitchen.
“Kelly texted, said you ordered room service. I was hungry.” She shrugs, still looking in the fridge. I knew I should have just booked my own room. Fuck this sharing shit.
“We ordered room service for us, should be here any minute.” I watch her eyes come up over the fridge.
“You order any French toast?”
“Yeah, ordered a bit of everything.” She grins at the news and does a little dance. “Not for you,” I add then watch her stop.
“But it’s my wedding day.”
“Then why are you here? Don’t you have like a whole day of organizing to get through?” I ask, unsure how this shit works. All I know is I have to be ready at five p.m. for the ceremony.
“We’re waiting for Mom and Dad to get ready. We’re having breakfast with them.” I shake my head at the little witch wanting my food when she’s heading down to eat anyway.
“So what was up with you last night?” She ignores my stare and carries on like normal.
“What?” I feign ignorance, not in the mood to discuss anything that went down after everyone left.
“Oh, Mr. Take-My-Cock-Not-His.” I spit out my coffee and watch a smirk spread across her face. “I must admit it was kind of hot.”
Sy grunts his displeasure from the kitchen, but Holly doesn’t seem fazed. “What? It was. Just saying.” She shrugs at her man and then turns back to me.
“How about we talk about how you were meant to keep an eye on her, Holly? And not let her hook up with some fucker,” I accuse, unimpressed. Ever since I learnt Bell would be joining us this weekend, I made sure all of them knew they had to keep an eye on her. Not encourage her to fuck off with some pansy-ass fucker. I would have laid it out for Bell myself, but the woman hasn’t been taking my calls.
“Please, I saw all of you when you entered the club. Thinking you’re all inconspicuous.” She rolls her eyes. “I know you all ordered two rounds in the back booth on the left and kept an eye on us first.” I turn to look at Sy and watch him shake his head at his woman. “Am I right?” She laughs when neither of us confirm. “Exactly. So what? I gave her a little push. You sure as shit haven’t done enough to win her back.”
I don’t argue with her because she’s right. Bell’s reluctance threw me off my game. I’ve wanted to step up, push my way back in, but the truth is I knew we needed more time. I’ve been trying to get my shit sorted. And I’m getting there. Part of me knows it’s not an easy fix. The shit I’m dealing with might not ever really go away, but I knew I had to get to a place where Bell would feel safe around me again. I promised her that.
“We’ve both needed the space, but the shit you pulled last night only served to make me push too soon.” I shake my head, knowing it’s not Holly’s fault. I only have myself to blame.
“Well, if you ask me, I say it’s perfect. Now she knows how serious you are, you all can hurry up and get back together. Then we can be one big happy family again.” She levels her stare on me, telling me I better do as she says.
“How do you deal with her bossy ass?” I ignore Holly and ask Sy. First he shrugs then looks down at her before his face breaks out in a grin. Fucker is so fucking whipped. It’s not funny.
“Morning.” Brooks walks out of the second room with Kelly following, stalling our conversation.
“Morning, have a good night?” Holly moves her scowl from me and looks up at Kelly.
“Do you even have to ask?” Kelly laughs, slapping Brooks’ ass.
“Fucking oath.” Brooks rumbles, pulling his wife back in for a kiss.
“Fuck me.” I throw my head back and groan. Every fucker is getting laid but me.
“Don’t mind him, he’s just pissy ‘cause Bell didn’t take him back last night.” Holly winks, waiting for me to bite. I don’t. There’s no point. She’s right though. I am pissed.
“Breakfast will be here soon. I’m showering. Make sure you assholes leave me some.” I stand, snatching my phone up from the table, and begin to stalk back to my room. Checking my screen, I see Bell hasn’t replied. A growl erupts from my throat in frustration.
“You sure you’re okay, Jesse?” Kelly calls out before I can escape.
“Yep. I got this.” I wave her off and continue to my room. I know my family have been worried, but they have nothing to fear. Bell will be mine. She knows it. I know it. The whole fucking club knows it.
I just have to make it happen.
* * *
“Housekeeping.” I knock three times and muffle out some lame line to get her to open the door. It’s not like I have any other choice. She stopped replying to my text messages.
“Coming!” she shouts and I force my nerves away. This is the right thing to do. I repeat, gi
ving myself the pep talk I need. Jesus, I’m losing my edge. I scold myself when my hands start to sweat. Before I can rethink my game plan, the door pulls open.
“Jesse?”
“Hey.” I smile, skimming my eyes from her face down the rest of her body. My smile quickly fades when I realize she’s just wearing a fucking towel.
“Where the fuck are your clothes?” I step forward and take her arm, pushing her back into her room. She squeaks out her surprise but doesn’t reply. My rage grows as I kick the door shut, spin her around and guide her until her back is against the door.
“You trying to fucking make me lose my head, Bell?” I step in closer, the soft scent of her shower gel taking me back to the mornings I had her in my bed and could smell her on my pillow.
“Jesse, what? Don’t.” Her breath hitches in her chest, and the light pink flush I’ve missed trails along her exposed pale skin. My rage turns to need the second she whispers my name.
“Don’t what, Bell? Don’t kiss you?” I dip my head and whisper my question an inch from her mouth. Her lips part as my breath skirts along her bottom lip. Her eyes glaze over and she nods her reply.
“Why didn’t you return my text, Bell?” I ask and watch her eyes dart from my lips to my eyes. Yeah, she fucking wants me to kiss her.
“I was in the shower,” she answers, and my dick grows harder in my jeans, picturing her naked body under the water. Jesus fuck.
“You’re making it difficult to not want to kiss you.” I smirk, watching her gaze move back to my lips.
“Maybe if you tried stepping back, it might be easier.” She squares her shoulders, finally gaining some composure.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got more willpower than you might think. I’ll only kiss you when you ask me to.” I watch as the lust rushes out of her eyes and fill with disappointment.
“Jesse, I’m not going to ask you to kiss me.” She pushes at my chest, but I don’t budge. “We’ve been over for long enough. I’ve moved on.” She’s lying through her teeth so I decide to call her on it.
