Go, Go, Guinea Pig! (Adventures of Harry Stevenson Book 3)

by Ali Pye

  Harry was about to WHEEK for help when he spotted a scattering of spinach leaves hidden in the hay. If there was one thing certain to calm Harry down (apart from Billy, of course), it was spinach. Harry gobbled a particularly green-looking leaf. YUM! Just like everything else belonging to Monty, that leaf was special. Monty certainly enjoys the finer things in life, thought Harry as he guzzled another leaf, then another and another. Maybe being ‘Monty’ for a while won’t be so bad after all. I think I’ll give it a try!

  CHAPTER 6 You’re a star, Harry Stevenson! Hair and Make-Up

  As Harry Stevenson polished off the last of the spinach leaves, he realized that Uncle Kevin and Auntie Jen’s car had come to a stop. The car doors opened smoothly as everyone got out. It was very different from Mr Smith’s van, which creaked and squeaked. Harry hunkered down in the luxury hay as Alfie picked up the carrier. He didn’t want to be discovered just yet – there might be more of Monty’s food coming his way! Uncle Kevin clicked what looked like a tiny remote control at the car, and there was an expensive-sounding clunk as the doors locked. Wow, that’s snazzy, thought Harry Stevenson. I like being part of this family. He peered from the carrier as the family walked past a line of other big shiny cars, towards the shiny entrance of the shiny TV station building. This is just what I thought TV would be like, thought Harry. Everything is so sparkly.

  And it wasn’t just the building that was shiny and sparkly – the people in it were too! From the uniformed guards who held the doors open when they saw Alfie and Monty, to the smiling staff on reception, everyone looked good. Even the people who rushed around with clipboards did it in a stylish way. It was like they’d just brushed their hair, put on their smartest clothes and smiled for a flattering photograph. It was all very different from life at home. There were no lost socks or scuffed shoes here, thought Harry. He looked down at his dirty paws and wiped them on the hay. He wanted to look shiny too.

  The family waited in the building’s reception area – a big, airy space with a buzzy feel. Harry gazed around and took in the view. It was fun to feel part of the showbiz world. In fact, it was so fun that he forgot why he was there. It was only when a woman wearing a Super-Pets T-shirt and an extra-big smile came over that Harry remembered. The feeling of panic returned, but the woman seemed so thrilled to meet ‘Monty’ that Harry relaxed. I am a star! he thought. Or at least, everyone thinks I am. I may as well enjoy it.

  ‘Alfie, Monty!’ beamed the woman. ‘My name’s Tiffany and I’m a big, BIG fan! It’s so good to see you – welcome!’

  Tiffany peered inside the carrier. Her smile faltered a little and she took a step back in surprise. Harry was still very dusty!

  ‘I see Monty’s a little travel-worn,’ said Tiffany. ‘Come on, let’s get him into Make-Up. We need him looking his best for TV.’

  OOOOOOOOHHHHH, thought Harry Stevenson. They’re going to make me shiny!

  * * *

  Tiffany led them down long corridors bustling with activity. There were people carrying cameras and lights, caterers pushing trolleys of delicious-looking food, and actors wearing all sorts of costumes. Harry stared wide-eyed as a group of pirates hurried along, then some acrobats tumbled past. It was all very confusing.

  Next, Harry’s group passed a line of doors with silver stars on them. Below each star was the name of an actor or TV presenter. Alfie read them out excitedly, and Harry recognized lots from the Smiths’ favourite shows.

  ‘It could be your name there one day, Alfie,’ said Uncle Kevin.

  ‘And Monty’s too!’ replied Alfie. ‘Monty’ purred with pride. Harry was really enjoying his day as someone else! He imagined a life in showbusiness: it would mean he could eat luxury nuggets three times a day, laze around on the finest hay and people would hold doors open for him. That never happened at home.

  The last door didn’t have a person’s name on it. Instead, it said:

  ‘Are you ready for some showbiz magic, everyone?’ asked Tiffany as she opened the door.

  Ooh, yes, please! thought Harry Stevenson.

  CHAPTER 7 Time to shine, Harry Stevenson

  Harry Stevenson blinked as the door opened and a rush of noise and chatter spilled out.

  ‘TA-DA!’ said Tiffany, giving a little bow and welcoming the family inside.

  Harry looked around. He could see a hall full of tables, each topped with a mirror that was framed with lights. On every table stood a pet being prepared for the show by a team of groomers. Everyone was working hard to get the pets looking their best – but they all stopped to stare when the new contestants arrived. Harry could feel the gaze of humans and animals on his carrier as the family made their way across the room. He shrank down in the hay and peeped out shyly. He could see all sorts of pets – dogs, cats, mice, a parrot or two, even a goat!

  ‘Here we are!’ said Tiffany finally. ‘This is Zane, he’s a total darling and he’ll take good care of you.’

  Harry stared at Zane from top to toe. There was a lot to take in: chunky silver trainers, zebra-striped jeans, a jazzily printed shirt and a giant gold necklace, all topped off with a spiky mane of hair AND mirrored sunglasses. If anyone can make me shiny, Zane can, thought Harry, impressed.

  ‘Let’s have a look at our little star,’ said Zane, and Harry gulped as Alfie placed him on the table. A small cloud of dust arose from Harry’s fur and everyone coughed. Harry cringed. He noticed that even Alfie’s hands were dusty from holding him.

  ‘Hmmm,’ frowned Zane. ‘Well, I like a challenge, and you’re certainly that, Monty.’ He rolled up his sleeves and picked up a comb. ‘Let’s get to work.’

  * * *

  Harry Stevenson had had baths before and wasn’t too keen – but this time was different. Zane was a master at making people (and guinea pigs) feel relaxed and pampered. He knew the loveliest way to massage shampoo into dusty fur, the perfect temperature for water and the ideal amount of bubbles. Harry wallowed happily in the warm soapy bath, while everyone fussed over him. This is the life, he thought!

  It took several sink-loads of water to wash the grime from Harry’s fur, but now he was cleaner and sweeter smelling than ever before. Harry purred with bliss as Zane gently patted him dry with a warm, heated towel. His fur was so fluffy that it puffed out into a soft ginger cloud. Then Zane combed out Harry’s whiskers and even gave his teeth a brush!

  Harry stared into the mirror. A handsome, well-groomed guinea pig with sparkly eyes looked back. Is that really me? thought Harry. I am gorgeous!

  ‘Fabulous,’ sighed Zane, tired after all his work. Even his spiky mane had sagged a bit. ‘You look like a star again, Monty. Just one more thing, let’s give those nails a trim. Can you hold him for me, Alfie?’

  But – oh dear. Nobody knew quite how much Harry HATED having his nails cut! As Zane advanced with the clippers, Harry panicked. He wriggled and jiggled in Alfie’s hands, leaped out of his grasp, through the air… and landed in a bowl of dirty water!

  WHOOSH!!!!!!!!!

  For a small guinea pig, Harry made a surprisingly large splash. The filthy water went up, up, up… and back down on to the pets that were being groomed. SPLOSH! They didn’t look so shiny now!

  The wet animals fled in all directions, shaking water everywhere. The floor got slippy and several owners fell as they chased their pets. The goat got overexcited and started to headbutt the groomers. OUCH! It was chaos!

  When everyone calmed down, and Auntie Jen had said sorry for what seemed like the hundredth time, Harry let himself be washed, dried and brushed – all over again. Zane didn’t seem quite so relaxed this time.

  ‘Monty!’ scolded Alfie. ‘You’re really not yourself today.’

  CHAPTER 8 Pawfect, Harry Stevenson

  The primping and fussing went on… and on… and on. Harry Stevenson started to feel bored. Surely I look sparkly enough now, he thought. But, no, Harry’s whiskers had to be waxed, and his claws polished until they shone. Harry stopped wishing he was Monty, and started to pine for h
is quiet, normal life with Billy. Normal life would have to hang on for a bit, though, because now it was time for Alfie and ‘Monty’ to head to the Green Room, a kind of waiting room for the show.

  ‘Good luck, the pair of you,’ said Auntie Jen, giving Alfie a hug and ‘Monty’ a nose scratch. ‘We’ll be watching you in the ring and cheering you on.’

  ‘You can do it, Alfie!’ said Uncle Kevin proudly. ‘Go for it!’

  Harry noticed that Auntie Jen and Uncle Kevin looked a little nervous as they waved goodbye. I wonder why? he thought. Then he remembered how difficult Alfie and Monty’s tricks were. They were going to have to perform them on live TV soon, and Monty wasn’t here yet. He wouldn’t have much time to prepare when he got here! Harry started to feel worried for Alfie and Monty.

  It’s all right, he thought. Billy and the Smiths must have noticed he was missing by now. Yes, Billy would definitely be able to tell the difference. He’ll be here soon, Harry told himself. Then everything will be sorted and Monty can do his tricks.

  * * *

  Disappointingly for Harry Stevenson, the Green Room was not full of spinach, and there didn’t seem to be any lettuce in there either. Instead the Super-Pets judges were mingling with all the contestants. Harry watched from a comfy sofa. He recognized the judges from TV, and he was so excited to be in the same room that he forgot to be worried. Harry nearly wheeked out loud when he saw Mrs Smith’s favourite judge. She always said how handsome the judge was, but on seeing him close up, Harry had to disagree. For some reason, the man’s face was as orange as Harry!

  ‘Look, Monty!’ breathed Alfie. ‘It’s Madam Poppy and her Pawfect Pups… and she’s coming our way!’

  Harry followed Alfie’s gaze and spied a jolly-looking lady wearing a pink top hat and tailcoat over a fussy blouse and tartan slacks. She was walking around the Green Room, surrounded by what seemed to be a blizzard of snowy white fur. Harry looked closer and saw that the blizzard was in fact six little dogs – tiny, fluffy things with pink button noses and tails like pom-poms.

  Madam Poppy had dressed each dog in a matching pink cape and bow tie. A crowd gathered around her, oohing and aahing.

  Then, suddenly, Harry heard a snarl and a cry of surprise! One man, thinking that the dogs were cute, had bent down to stroke some fluffy fur. It wasn’t a good idea. Oh dear, thought Harry Stevenson, as the man stepped away hastily. The dog was giving him a steely look that could never be called cute.

  ‘They’re not pets, you know!’ trilled Madam Poppy. ‘My little darlings are showbiz professionals. Best to look but don’t touch!’

  ‘The Pawfect Pups won Super-Pets last year,’ whispered Alfie. ‘They’re the ones to beat.’

  It looked like Madam Poppy was taking no chances when it came to keeping her winning title: Harry could see that she was going round the room to check out the other competitors.

  ‘What a sweet little act,’ she cooed when she got to Alfie and Harry. ‘It’s wonderful to see amateurs having a go.’

  Harry didn’t know what ‘amateur’ meant, but from the way the dogs were looking at him he guessed it wasn’t very flattering.

  ‘Just ignore them, Monty,’ whispered Alfie when Madam Poppy and the pups had passed. ‘We’ll show them, won’t we?’

  But Harry wasn’t listening. He’d found that the pot plants in the Green Room were very tasty indeed.

  CHAPTER 9 Get ready, Harry Stevenson

  Finally, Super-Pets was on air! A ginormous screen in the Green Room flickered into life and started showing the programme as it was filmed in the studio next door. Harry heard its familiar theme tune and looked up to see the show’s presenter bound onstage.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ cried the presenter, ‘boys and girls, birdies and beasties – are you ready? It’s time forrrrr…’

  ‘SUPER-PETS!’ yelled the audience.

  The judges wished everyone luck and headed through the door that led from the Green Room to the TV studio. Shortly after, they appeared on the screen! Harry was entranced. It was like magic! He was so amazed to see the show happening in real life that he forgot to be worried for Alfie and Monty.

  The first contestants were called from the Green Room. Harry watched them vanish through the door, then reappear on the TV screen. He settled down to enjoy the show.

  ‘And here we have Captain Jeff and his Singing Rat,’ said the presenter. Harry marvelled as the rat sat on Captain Jeff’s flat cap and squeaked out the tune to ‘Greensleeves’.

  ‘Wonderful stuff,’ gushed the presenter. ‘That rat can certainly hold a tune! But is it enough to win tonight’s big prize? Remember, there’s a year’s supply of luxury pet food at stake, as well as that all-important title.’

  Next it was the turn of Farmer Jane and Gloria the Pig. They put on a dazzling tap-dance routine that left the audience open-mouthed with amazement. Gloria was a talented pig, to be sure. The presenter loved the dance so much she could hardly find words to describe it. In the end she called it ‘eye-popping’ and ‘unforgettable’. Harry had to agree.

  On went the show. As this was the series finale, all the performances were excellent. The goat had a football kickabout with its owner, a parrot read poetry, a cockatoo told hilarious jokes and a cat played the violin with its teeth!

  This is the best episode yet, thought Harry Stevenson happily.

  Then it was time for Madam Poppy.

  ‘Now, folks, what you’ve all been waiting for,’ said the presenter. ‘Here are last year’s FABULOUS winners, back with their awesome obstacle course – or should that be pawsome? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Madam Poppy and her Pawfect Pups!!’

  ‘Good luck,’ said Alfie as Madam Poppy and the pups left the Green Room. She gave a syrupy smile. ‘Us professionals don’t need luck, dear,’ she said. ‘You keep it for yourself and your little orange hamster.’

  Harry looked around to see where the hamster was, but he couldn’t spot it.

  * * *

  Thunderous applause filled the studio as Madam Poppy strode into the arena, followed by her procession of cape-wearing fluffies. The dogs pranced along with dainty steps, snooty noses held high in the air.

  ‘SIIIIIIIIITTTT,’ screeched Madam Poppy – and six furry bottoms dropped to the floor. Madam Poppy gave a flashy bow to the audience and the Pawfect Pups did the same, touching the ground with their noses.

  ‘Awwwww,’ cooed the crowd.

  Madam Poppy set off around the obstacle course, followed by the pups running nose to tail in perfect formation. Everyone cheered as the little dogs whizzed around the course. Their fluffy white tails and silky pink capes flew behind them as they sped along, jumping over hurdles, leaping through hoops and weaving through slalom poles with ease.

  At the end of the course, Madam Poppy and the dogs stood in a dead-straight row. Then, as Madam Poppy stepped forward and made a deep bow, three of the Pawfect Pups lined up next to her. Two more dogs scrambled on top of them, and finally the very last pup climbed on them to form a white, fluffy doggy tower. The dog at the top stood on its hind legs and lifted one of its front paws to wave to the crowd, who went wild!

  That was really special, thought Harry.

  ‘MAGNIFICENT,’ said the presenter. ‘WHAT A SHOW! It’s going to take something very special indeed to beat that.’

  ‘We can do it, Monty!’ hissed Alfie.

  We can do what? thought Harry, his attention focused on the pups.

  And then, in a horrible rush, he realized what Alfie meant. YIKES!

  Harry looked wildly around the Green Room, hoping against hope that Billy would appear with Monty. But what he saw instead filled him with terror. He’d been so wrapped up in watching the show that he hadn’t noticed the room emptying behind him. Now he and Alfie were the only contestants left. So that must mean… they were on next!

  I can’t do tricks, panicked Harry. I’ll be hopeless, and it’ll be on live TV too. Somebody, quickly, stop the show! I don’t want to be Monty any more!
>
  But it looked like he’d have to!

  It was SHOWTIME.

  CHAPTER 10 Showtime, Harry Stevenson!

  ‘And now we have our final contestants,’ called the presenter. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our youngest stars, Alfie and Monty!’

  Harry Stevenson shook with fright as Alfie picked him up from the sofa and headed from the Green Room into the TV studio. He shook even more when Alfie walked onstage. It was hot and bright there, from all the lights and cameras. Behind the stage was a huge screen, ten times as big as the one in the Green Room. Harry looked up and gulped. His giant, scared face was beaming out to the audience in the studio and everyone watching at home. The Harry on-screen looked remarkably ‘shiny’ – but Harry didn’t care about that now. He just wanted to be back to normal; scruffy and snug at home.

  Harry could see that the TV studio was ENORMOUS! To him, it felt as big as the Sparky FC football stadium. The arena in front of the stage was still set up with the Pawfect Pups’ obstacle course, and the rows and rows of seats around it were packed with people. Harry desperately scanned the rows for a familiar face. Where are you, Billy? he thought. I can’t do this. Please come and rescue me!

  But Billy was nowhere to be seen.

  ‘Alfie, Monty,’ beamed the presenter, holding a microphone to Alfie. ‘How are you feeling about tonight?’

  ‘We’re feeling pretty good, thanks!’ beamed Alfie.

  ‘And what about Monty?’ joked the presenter, leaning down to Harry.