by S. L. Baum
Thorn’s eyes widened. He grasped my hand tightly. “What exactly is out there?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not exactly sure, and up until my memory returned to me, I didn’t know to dig for more. For those of you who are unaware, Bluebell has recently restored my memory. Up until a few days ago, I existed in a bit of a fog, functioning as a dutiful member of The Council. But once my memory returned, I realized that the reason I moved myself into this position was to gather as much information as I could.” My father paced up and down the middle of the room as he spoke, making eye contact with everyone there. “I want to expose The Council and Concord… I want the Citizens to know the truth. And now I know I must dig deeper into the Archives, and find as much information as I can. I promise everyone in this room that I will do just that. I will find out what is outside Concord, and I will reunite my true family. Hope is out there, and she has been able to send word of her existence.”
“What about the Banished?” Raleigh asked, waving her hand in the air. “What about their attack on Three?”
My father frowned, his face a mixture of guilt and deep sadness. “That wasn’t the Banished, I discovered evidence earlier today. I can confirm that it was done by Executive Order, it was a scare tactic, due to exactly this,” he said and spread his arms wide, gesturing to the entire room. “The Council is aware of the discontent that has been growing with the Citizens. It is happening in all four Concords.”
I shook my head as I thought about the note that fell from the sky when I was in Three. “But, I received a message from Hope saying that her attempt to contact me must have been discovered.”
“I really don’t think The Council knew she was trying to reach you. I think the two things just happened to coincide. Hope is somehow tracking your movements, and she waited until you were in Three to try to contact you. The Council wanted the fake attack to be near you, but not to actually hurt you,” my father explained. “They hoped it would create a general feeling of hostility toward anything anti-Concord, anything that could harm their precious Lush Ambassador. But now that she made such an outright attempt at conversation… well, another thing I found out today is that The Council is on alert.”
“What attempt?” Stone called out.
“A message from your real mother?” Rosebud asked, looking confused.
“Why would the woman risk such a thing?” a man in the front asked.
“And now The Council is on alert. We are endangering ourselves just by being here.” The woman sitting in the back corner threw her hands up in frustration.
My father raised his arms in the air, trying to regain some focus and get everyone’s attention. “Hope came to the wrong conclusion and made a public attempt, yes. But, The Council doesn’t know it was from her. No one saw it in time. They are working under the assumption that it was from the Banished.”
“But what public attempt to contact you, Bluebell?” Stone asked me directly. “We never saw anything.”
“It was edited out. I was in Three, giving that speech the morning after the attack, and right about the time you think I finished, thanks to our slick Editing Department, a message from my mother fell from the sky. It came out of a bird-like object and fell onto the podium in front of me. It just told me to make him remember,” I explained to Stone, while pointing to my father. “But when the video was aired, all that obviously missing.”
Thorn’s father, Payson, took the floor again. “There is not a lot we can do until we know more, but I felt this meeting was necessary so we can all feel the kind of strength that only a group of like-minded individuals can bring you. You are not alone in your displeasure, your hatred, and your disappointment in Concord, and the actions of The Council. We will continue to work toward exposure, and hopefully get answers to our many questions. With the help of Jackson, and Bluebell, I believe we will have a speedier route to our ultimate goal of freedom!”
Chapter Ten
A Process
When I walked home from that meeting, with Thorn and my father at my sides, there was a heaviness in my chest. It was pressing down on me, harder than anything I had felt before. Harder than finding out I was Lush, harder than learning that it was chosen for me to be a public figure, and even harder than knowing I had an unknown mother somewhere out there. I had the weight of Concord upon me. My father and I were the key those people had been looking for. But what if they turned the key and the lock didn’t open? What if I wasn’t what they were looking for? I didn’t want to disappoint all those people.
“What’s wrong, Blue?” Thorn rubbed my back. “I can feel the tension radiating off you.”
“I can’t be their savior!” I blurted out.
“Nobody is asking you to be,” my father assured me. “I know this is a lot to process. But what you need to understand is that those people, well, they need continued hope. They need to know they are on the right path, and they need to know that the path actually leads somewhere, that they’re not just walking around in circles. The information you and I supplied tonight keeps that fire burning for everyone. We all know that the missing pieces are within our grasp, we just have to keep searching for them.”
Thorn put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “And we will find what we are looking for. I know we will.”
“You’re right. You both are. I’ve got to be strong… strong for the Citizens of Concord. And I mean every Citizen, those that know they need our help and those that are unaware.”
“That’s my girl.” My father smiled at me. “I’m going to walk up ahead. You two can linger, but not for very long. The curfew is relaxed but not gone, and we are continuing with neighborhood sweeps by the Peace Keepers. They are only on the lookout for anything suspicious, but will note every Citizen they come across.”
“I understand,” I told him before he quickened his pace while Thorn and I slowed ours.
As my father gained some distance from us, Thorn and I moved closer to one another. Our hands brushed together and we automatically hooked our pinky fingers. “It feels good to be able to talk about everything, now,” Thorn whispered into the night. “No more secrets.”
“It does,” I agreed. “That is one weight lifted for me. Sometimes, I wish we could run away, to wherever Hope did, and not worry about any of this.”
“But we can’t do that.” Thorn tugged at my little finger.
“I know.” I rested my head against his shoulder as we continued toward my home. “But wouldn’t it be nice?”
“But…”
I brought my other hand up and put my fingers on his lips, silencing him. “Shhh. I know we can’t. I just want my moment to pretend that it could be just the two of us. We could lie in the sun on the beach together, watch the waves and read stories, ones that were not written by anyone in Concord, ones that don’t have predictable endings. And we could talk for hours without fear that someone is watching over us, listening to everything we say. We could just be ourselves and not have to be the people that Concord expects us to be.”
We walked in silence for a few moments, soaking in the idea of it.
“That really would be nice,” Thorn agreed. He slipped his arm around my waist as we neared the street that led to my house.
“I don’t think I even know who I really am, Thorn. I’ve been Bluebell the excellent student, Bluebell the daughter of Aspen and Jackson, Bluebell the granddaughter of the head of The Council, and Bluebell the Lush Ambassador, Bluebell the perfect Citizen.”
Thorn pulled me closer to him. “You are Bluebell. That is all you need to be. That is more than enough for me.”
“You are more than enough for me as well.” I smiled up at him. “Is your father the acting head of this we Gilbert was always telling me about during my short tour of the Concords?”
“I don’t think there is a head. He just decided to take the lead at the meeting. Being in Media Distribution, he has a lot of officially released information at his hands. But your father has the potential to access
everything in the Archives. At least that is what everyone hopes.”
I didn’t say anything else because I was afraid of those prying eyes and ears I always worried about; at that moment, one set in particular. I pulled away from Thorn and pointed up ahead. Weaver was standing in front of my house.
“Hello, Weave,” Thorn called out to him.
“It’s Weaver,” he corrected.
“Can I do something for you?” I asked.
Weaver had his arms crossed in front of him, with his hands scratching at his arms. Red lines appeared on his skin, showing the tracks of his nails. “I just spoke with your father. He said you were out taking a walk with your friend. He said I could wait for you.”
I looked at the distress on his face and tried to soften my voice. “Why did you come over, Weaver?”
“I wanted to talk with someone. I don’t really know anybody in One, anymore. I never kept up with messaging any of the Citizens I Incorporated with. You’re the only one I know.”
“What about Holly? You two spent the whole evening together at the Gala. Or that other girl, Blossom? She said she knew you from your Incorporation,” Thorn replied.
Weaver shook his head. “No. I don’t really know them.”
“Weaver, you don’t really know me,” I pointed out.
“I know enough to know that you question things.”
I pulled at the ends of my hair and looked away from him, breaking eye contact. “I have done that, at times. But know that it comes to no good. Concord Reigns. The Council knows best.”
“My mother is sick,” Weaver blurted out. “Something is wrong with her. I know there is.”
I looked back at him. “You are the top Medical student. You would know.”
“But that’s just it. I was the top in my class. I know when the body is not functioning well and I know that my mother’s is failing,” he whispered, and then looked around as if making sure we were alone.
“Maybe you should insist that she goes to her doctor to get the correct medicines to fix her,” Thorn suggested.
Weaver shook his head again and trailed his nails down his arms once more.
I stepped over to him and put my right hand on his, making him stop. “Weaver, what is it you want from me? How can my questioning things help you?”
“She said that she went to her doctor months ago and was told that it was nothing. He gave her some pain pills and told her to stay away from overly spiced foods and eat less. But I think there is much more going on with her. She seems short of breath, she has had bouts of increased perspiration, her legs are swollen, and she has little appetite but her stomach is larger than usual, and she seems weak to me.”
I sighed. “Tell her to go back. Maybe they misdiagnosed something.”
“She said she doesn’t want to go back. My mother asked me if there was something I could do to fix her. She said she was afraid to let her doctor know that her symptoms are worsening. My mother thinks that if there really is something wrong with her then something terrible will happen to her, that her doctor will not be able to fix what it is.”
“Weaver, are there things that the people in Medical cannot fix?” I whispered the question.
He nodded his head in a slow deliberate motion.
“What happened at the CEC when you came across such instances?” I asked.
“There were only two in the time I was there. My trainers didn’t offer explanation. They didn’t want me to work any further on the cases. The patients were removed from my care and transferred to a senior doctor and… and…”
Thorn stilled beside me. “And?” he prompted.
“And…” Weaver opened his mouth, as if unable to speak the words.
I put both of my hands on his shoulders. “Weaver, what do you want to say?”
“One died in a drowning accident a few months later. The other was run over by a vehicle.” He said the words as quickly as possible, flushing them out of his mouth.
“What do you think will happen to your mother if she goes back to her doctor?” I asked.
“Something similar. But I think she may die either way,” he admitted. “Medical can only do so much.”
“Do you think that Concord is responsible for those other accidents, from when you were in Two?” I bit at my lip, waiting for his response.
“I guess I think it is possible,” he whispered.
Thorn shook his head and a crease appeared on his brow. “Don’t you think it is better that these people die in their own way, as opposed to Concord orchestrated accidents?”
Weaver covered his face with his hands. “The worst part of it is, with the right amount of research, I imagine that Medical can figure out how to fix many of the things inside our bodies. We concentrate our skills on setting broken bones, relieving pain, keeping communicable disease at bay… and we can play with the brain functions through various meds, smooth the face, trick the body into thinking it is younger.” Weaver paused to look at me. “But we never go inside to fix something. I think we can do more.”
“Why do you think they do not?”
“Bluebell, I think they do what The Citizens want, and for the most part they want to look young and feel good.” Weaver threw his hands to the side and walked to the edge of the pathway and then back. “Is it really possible that Concord thinks of us as disposable units, something to throw away if we become somewhat defective?”
“It is happening, isn’t it?” I asked another question, even though it was partly a statement, as well. I wanted him to come to his own conclusion. I knew that just by saying it, I was admitting to what I thought to be true. But I wanted him to say the words out loud, and be clear about it.
“Concord is going to kill my mother if they think they can’t fix her!” He hissed the words, disgusted by them as they left his mouth. He didn’t ask another question, he made a statement.
“I think they just might,” I told him.
Thorn nodded his head in agreement.
Weaver sank to the steps leading up to my house. He sat down and lowered his head until it hung between his knees and he held onto the back of his neck with both hands. I heard him breathing, loudly, through his nose, the inhale and the exhale quickening with every breath.
“You need to calm down, Weaver.” I sat on the step next to him and brought my hand up to rub his back, but he flinched away the moment my hand came into contact with him.
“I’m supposed to be a healer. They trained me to be a healer. How can I heal someone if I don’t know how, if I don’t know what is actually wrong? I can’t really heal.” He sat up straight and began to wring his hands together. “I can cure a cough, or a rash. I make you lose weight fast and artificially improve muscle tone. I can make you pretty and take your pain away, or your memories. The memories,” he turned his head to look at me. “The memory wipes are fairly prevalent. I was told they were always voluntary, after the childhood doses, that is.”
I shook my head. “Not always.”
“In fact, Bluebell has been slipped Memory drugs a few times since we Incorporated. Mostly from her mother, we assume.”
“Thorn!” I silenced him.
“Aspen did that? Your own mother would remove your memories?”
“She had her reasons, not that I agreed with them. She wanted me to be the perfect Lush Ambassador and not have any other complications. She didn’t want me to think about anything other than performing my duties to Concord. And then there was you,” I paused.
Weaver blinked in surprise. “What about me?”
“Aspen suspected that I was becoming involved with Thorn, which would never have been her preference. If she were to pick a mate for me, she would pick you,” I admitted.
“I agree. We are a good match.”
Thorn came over to stand by me. “What? Sorry, fellow, I have to disagree.”
“Weaver, we are only a good match if you were checking off boxes in a list. Good family: check – Good Career path: check – Physically ap
pealing: check – Fertile: check. Do you find me interesting? Do you find yourself thinking about me when we are not near? Do you feel a flutter in the pit of your stomach when you are close to me? Do you long to spend time with me and talk with me about nothing at all?”
Weaver looked confused. “What do those questions have to do with making a good match?”
“Weaver, I don’t want to have a partner that is simply a good match. I want to find someone I can love, someone who will love me in return,” I told him.
“Love,” Weaver whispered the word. “We aren’t really conditioned for love, are we? It doesn’t make anywhere near as much sense as compatibility.”
I smiled at him. “We may not have been, but some Citizens chose compatibility and then found love anyway. Once you see real love, it’s hard to imagine living your life without it.”
“You think you’ve seen it?” Weaver asked me.
I looked up at Thorn. “I’m pretty sure I have.”
“You have,” he mouthed the words back to me, giving me a smile.
Weaver stood up. “It doesn’t matter. That isn’t why I came over here.”
I took a step back from him, giving him the space that I thought he needed. “No. It isn’t. You came over here because you found out that Concord isn’t all that you thought it was. And you needed to tell someone about it.”
“I did.”
“And you know that this information is not something you can publicize. In fact, no one can know that you even suspect it. You are going to stay very quiet about your discovery.”
“I am?” Weaver was still in a bit of a daze.
“You are,” Thorn confirmed.
“We’ll talk again, Weaver. You should probably go home. The curfew is relaxed, but it is not quite lifted. I don’t want you to get in trouble. You too, Thorn.” I reached out and took one of each of their hands and walked them back to the sidewalk. “Will you be alright, Weaver? Isn’t your neighborhood quite far from here?”
