by Fiona Jayde
“And this is what happens to your horns when you need to mate?” She points to my horns which have risen a bit due to our shared arousal.
I nod, trying to keep my hands clenched at my sides. It is hard to stay in control of The Burning when my mate is so close, discussing intimate things only mates discuss with one another.
“But your horns are black. I thought you said your horns turn red. I’ve only ever seen them purple or tinged with a bit of red, so you seem to be handling The Burning just fine.” Her scrutiny is nearly more than I can take, especially after having revealed so much of myself to her. I feel as if it is best to be completely honest. I am not comfortable with this level of vulnerability, but she must know the whole of it.
“Elysium males take on mating partners for pleasure when their horns are red with The Burning, but when they meet their bond mate, their horns turn black, signifying to all females that particular male has found his partner in life. He will mate for life, never to take another partner other than his bond mate.”
Her eyes grow wide with surprise an she takes a step back. That tiny movement of retreat wounds me greater than she could possibly imagine. She swallows hard. “But I’m the only female you’ve come in contact with…do you mean…?”
“You are my bond mate,” I say, barely managing to get this out since I know her reaction will not be favorable.
“Bond mate.” She shakes her head in bewilderment, and then she goes silent for a bit, and I wonder what is going through her mind. She knows the whole of it now. Why I am here, the events that led me to this isolated place, that she is the only woman I will ever bond myself to in this life, and that I am not truly worthy of her. Not after being exiled and stripped of my titles. Yet her next words fill me with wonder.
“So you fought against a corrupt council and eventually surrendered for the safety of your people. Then, when you were given the opportunity to join the enemy, you chose to remain loyal to your father, his legacy, and the traditions of your people even though you knew you would be exiled to a lonely, tortured existence without ever finding any release, without being given the opportunity to find your bond mate.”
I tilt my head, surprised at her summation of events. “Yes,” I say, my voice raspy as I hold back my emotions. Will she think me a fool for rejecting the position Derwag offered me? Most females would. Many did before they passed on.
She gives me a steady stare, perusing me from head to toe, not in a way that is overtly sexual, but as if she is taking in my measure, determining the type of warrior I really am.
“‘The essence of warrior traits are demonstrated by integrity with self and honesty with others.’” She gifts me a soft smile. “That’s a quote from a man named Soke Behzad Ahmadi.”
“Who is this Soke?” I ask in wonder.
“An Iranian sensei, a teacher of a specific type of fighting called, Tiijutsu.” She takes a step toward me, and I feel my heart leap in my chest. “What I’m trying to say is this: you had everything to lose and nothing to gain by maintaining your integrity and your level of honesty with yourself and your people. You protected them, you clearly bled for them, and they should have done more to stand by you.” She continues her approach and places her right palm on my left shoulder. “From one abandoned warrior to another, you most definitely have my admiration and respect.”
My horns stand at attention, burning with the need to claim her, to show her how much her words and acceptance mean to me. “I would have your heart,” I say, my voice heavily colored with emotion.
She pulls her hand back, looking nervous, studying my black horns, raised and burning with need for her. Her smile is sad as she takes them in and then gazes into my eyes.
“I wish I had a heart to give you. It was destroyed a long time ago.”
I grab her hand and place it on my chest. I lift my own hand and rest it against hers, just above her heart. “Then I will take it and make it whole again.”
Her eyes glisten with moisture. Has the poison not had a chance to completely work its way out of her system?
“Oh, you sweet alien,” she says as a tiny drop escapes, trickling down her cheek, “I wish things were that simple.”
They are that simple, and I vow from this moment forward to help her see that.
I wipe at the rogue tear that manages to escape down my cheek.
Good glory, what the hell has this guy done to me? I’m a quivering mass of emotions with a few sweet words and some shared pain, but I can’t help it. His family abandoned him, much like mine abandoned me.
And my fiancé? Yeah. Not a subject I want to mentally revisit.
I can’t help but feel that in a different time and place, I might have opened myself up to the possibility of a relationship with Kyllell.
Except he’s an alien.
I might have let down the protective shields and attempted to believe in a love that is both unconditional and without an expiration date.
Except he’s an alien.
And I’m broken.
But I think he’s a little broken, too.
Gah! Is that why his plight touches me so much?
I consider Kyllell. He seems so strong—so impenetrable. It’s hard to imagine him in constant pain due to the burning in his horns. Horns that are an obsidian black because of me.
His bond mate.
I shiver, and it seems to remind us both that I’m still not feeling all that great.
“Come,” Kyllell says, leading me back to a room we’ve already passed, one filled with a wonderful looking mattress. Then he leaves for a moment, coming back with a large cloth tied in the front, almost like a hospital gown, but enormous in size. “This is too large for you, I know, but it is warm and dry. Would you…would you like to try the hot springs before you change?”
I would, honestly. They sound divine after a prolonged period of cold, sweat, and illness, but the look in his eyes seems a little too intense, so I shake my head.
My stomach growls, reminding me that I have more immediate concerns to address. For now, it seems I am safe here. I’ll worry about the rest later.
Kyllell hears my stomach growl, too, and looks strangely relieved. “I will cook something on the fire. Change your clothing, and come find me when you are ready.”
And for the first time since waking up in his arms, I’m suddenly by myself. I let out a sigh of relief, immediately followed by a slight pang in my heart. Dammit. I am not supposed to care about this guy or miss his presence for a single moment. Does it appear that he’s a good individual? Yes. But then again, he did capture me so he could mate with me.
The alternative was being left in the ocean to drown.
Good point, annoying voice.
No matter his original motives, or his claim of me being his bond mate—still trying to grasp the significance of that and how serious he really is about making me his—I know my purpose and what I have to do from hereon out. No amount of warm fuzzies and flowery words can change the fact that I’m not meant to be here, and neither is John or Thomasina. My crew is in real danger, and so is anyone else who stumbles upon that portal.
Now that I’m in the right head space again, I quickly slip my clothes off and put the large shirt on. I ignore how much it smells like Kyllell’s musky scent or the unexpected arousal that hits me, causing my core to heat and my lady parts to get slick.
Unbelievable. Good thing I kept my panties on. I’m definitely going to need the flimsy protection.
※※※※
Dinner is some kind of small bird cooked on a makeshift spit. It’s surprisingly delicious, and I eat my fill. I roll the sleeves of the gown up to my elbows so I won’t get it all covered in food. Kyllell eats too, but he also watches me closely, as if fascinated by my every move. It’s a look that could convince any sane woman to give up everything and stay with this alien for the rest of her life. I’m starting to feel nervous as the sky begins to darken again.
“So, um. I think I should get some sleep.
Tomorrow, I have to look for my crew.”
“Your crew?”
I let out a heavy sigh. He cares about me, but I get the feeling the rest of my crew could go take a flying leap. “Yes, remember? The two other humans that were with me when we came here? I have to find them and get us back to our planet. They’re my responsibility.”
He looks at me as if he is deep in thought. His jaw clenches ever so slightly. Then he shakes his head. “No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“I am not going to let you risk yourself. The Chassaks have taken the other Earth people. They are either dead or sold as slaves already. That is the way of the Chassaks. You cannot help them now.”
I jump to my feet. “It’s not up to you to decide, actually.” He looks at me calmly, and I can see a trace of amusement in his expression. Suddenly, I’m furious. “Look, bub, I know you saved me, and I’m extremely grateful. I’m sorry you haven’t been with a female in a long time, but that’s really not my problem. I am a person. See this?” I point to my head. “It has thoughts in it. I’m not just a piece of ass that you fished out of the ocean. I have a life and people I care about.”
He listens to my rant with almost no change in his expression. When I finish, he stands and stretches out his hands as if trying to calm a wild animal. “It’s late. You are tired. Perhaps we can discuss it more in the morning.”
“In the morning, I have to go,” I say. “So there’s no point in waiting. I’m telling you what’s going to happen, period.”
Kyllell smiles at me in this patronizing way that pisses me off. “And which way would you go, my Ada?”
I scowl at him. “I’m not yours, and what do you mean?”
He gestures to the ocean outside the cave. “Did we come from this way? Or that way? I assume you paid attention, since you knew you would be leaving in the morning.”
Damn it. He knows he was distracting me the whole way with his looks and perfect green body. My eyebrows slam together. “Did you trick me on purpose? Was all that stuff just a set-up to keep me here?”
“All that stuff?”
“You know, the grabbing and caressing.”
His grin fades a little, and his eyes become intense. “No. No set-up. I could not stop myself from touching you.”
I gulp down my sudden nerves, but it doesn’t get rid of the lump in my throat. “Oh. Well. Okay.”
There’s an awkward silence. It’s awkward for me, anyway. Kyllell seems content to stare at me like he’s imagining me naked. I feel that tug again, pulling me toward him.
“Stop that,” I say, thoroughly annoyed.
He looks surprised. “Stop what?”
“Stop…whatever you’re doing. Looking at me like that.” I’m so frustrated by this situation, and now I have to contend with more horniness that is totally not my fault. It’s all his fault…for…for…existing.
Okay. That’s a lame, blame attempt right there.
“Ah,” he says, looking almost disappointed. “I cannot help it.” He stands and walks slowly toward me.
I take a step back. “Stay over there, okay? We’re having an argument, one that I’m trying to win here, and it’s hard for me to think when you get close…”
As I’m talking, he gets close. Damn it, he smells amazing. I can see his muscles bulging, his chest rising and falling. I want to run my hands down his pecks, down his abs, to his….
“I think I should go to bed now,” I say. My head is starting to swim a little, and my throat feels sore. Not a good sign. I push away my fears that the poison has had some kind of delayed reaction within my body or that the antidote hasn’t truly cured me. There isn’t much point in worrying about it. Sleep will help. I’ll be better in the morning.
He looks at me as if he can tell I don’t feel right, but he doesn’t mention it. “I know you assume I am trying to keep you prisoner here, but that is not so, my Ada. If we look for your friends, we will reveal to the Chassaks that we are here on this planet, and if we do manage to get away, even if we find your crew, the Chassaks will begin to hunt us. I have lasted this long with them here simply because they have no idea I was exiled to this planet.”
I nod. What he says makes sense, but I can’t just assume my crew is dead.
“They are my people, and I am their captain. I know you understand how important it is to defend the people you lead.”
My words have struck a chord with him. He swallows hard, but shakes his head. “We can discuss this more tomorrow. You must get some rest now. I will lead you back to our room. This way.”
Our room? Okay, so I do need a little help navigating the maze-like structure of the cavern, but I am seriously hoping he has another bedroom here in this massive place. Kyllell ushers me down a craggy hallway and back into the bedroom with that fabulous bed covered in soft looking blankets and cushions.
“How do you have all of these items?” I ask, feeling my eyes get a little droopy.
“I steal them. I am very careful to take only what I need and to never be noticed by the Chassaks. Do you like it, my mate?”
Like it? I’ve been thinking about a nice, warm bed for hours, honestly, and can’t wait to pass out. As I start to lie down in the bed, though, I realize Kyllell is settling down to sleep on the other side of the mattress.
“What are you doing?” I ask, startled.
“It is my bed,” he points out. “And the rest of this cave is made of rock.”
Dammit to hell. So no extra bedroom. I guess it doesn’t make sense for him to steal supplies for two beds when he thought he’d be the only one here for the rest of his life.
I decide it’s far too rude to ask him to sleep on the rocky ground after doing so much to rescue me, tend to my wounds, clothe me, and feed me. Yeah. Ungrateful for me to then take over his bed, and I’m too tired to argue, all things considered.
“Just keep your hands to yourself.”
He chuckles as I slide beneath the fur blanket. As I drift off, I feel warm arms scooping me up and pulling me tight against a hard, comforting chest.
“Did your translator chip stutter? This is not what keeping your hands to yourself means.”
“You are not in my hands, you are in my arms.”
“That is not what I meant, and you know it.”
“You are safe in my arms, Ada. Just sleep and know that I will let nothing hurt you.”
I don’t protest. I also refuse to acknowledge how much I love his arms around me and his soft promises of safety and protection.
Damn, sexy devil.
※※※※
Kyllell
Something is wrong. My mate is the first Earth person I have met, but I don’t know if periodically sleeping with eyes wide open is a common thing for humans. It is like she is dream-walking, and I cannot rouse her.
She does this for the third time tonight, thrashing in her sleep. I try to soothe her, but her eyes open and she jerks in her sleep against me.
“Bert!”she screams, reaching for something in front of her. She jolts to a sitting position and attempts to dive off the bed. I catch her, cradling her against my chest and see moisture leaking from her eyes as she mournfully calls out this name again. I must figure out what this moisture does and why she leaks it.
I am sick to my stomach with worry. I am also concerned about this Bert. Jealousy slashes at my insides, creating a hollow ache within my chest. I hope that Bert is not her mate. She did not mention a previous mate, but she also said she would not stay with me. Perhaps she has another mate already. I try not to let my battle rage overcome my good sense, but it is difficult. I must remind myself that she is mine now. I will not let her go.
She suddenly slumps against me, burying her head just under my chin.
“Carl,” she whispers.
Carl? Another male? How many will I have to contend with?
“Carl, please. Don’t leave me.”
The ache becomes a stabbing pain, an unrelenting assault against my emotions. She
left someone behind. No wonder she doesn’t wish to stay with me. This still changes nothing. A bonded mating is never a mistake, and this female is mine. I stroke her back as she finally calms enough to drift into a more peaceful sleep.
I do not know who Carl and Bert are, and I do not wish to contend with their memories, but it is clear I will have to bring them up with her tomorrow. I snuggle against my female and pray she will sleep easy for the remainder of the night.
※※※※
I feel her stir again hours later. From my own internal clock, I can tell it is very early morning. I don’t think either one of us got the sleep we needed. She turns to face me and blinks in surprise, looking adorable and sleepy still.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hello,” I say. I smile at her. I am so happy to see her awake. She does not smile back, but she also does not try to move away from me.
“Can I have some water?”
I nod, gently releasing her to go into the washroom and bring her back a cup. I hold it to her mouth so she can drink. Then she asks for some food. This is a good sign, I think. I give her more of the Draioch bird she ate last night and push her to drink more water. She seems to be stronger now. She wants to get out of bed again, and this time she walks around the cave. Her legs seem shaky, and she appears weak, but she is clearly determined to overcome her reaction to the poison. When I try to remind her to be careful, she looks at me with accusation in her eyes.
“I’ve got to be able to stand on my own two feet. I can’t go rescue my crew on wobbly legs. Would you take it easy if it were your soldiers out there?”
“No, I would not. But you must rest, my ferocious female, if you are going to do battle soon. If you push yourself too hard, you hamper your progress.” She nods at that and allows me to tuck her back into bed. I am lying, of course. There is no way I am going to let her go retrieve her crew. They will just have to manage on their own.
