“Oh, you think I’m lying?”
“Evelyn.” Sharon reached across the table and touched Evelyn’s wrist. “The last time we talked you asked me about Jeff cheating.”
“Did I?”
“You asked me how I knew. Then you disappeared, and when I show up at your door, you look like a woman in the middle of a crisis.”
“No, I’m fine. I’m getting better.”
Her sister’s fingers tightened. “Did you catch Gary cheating?”
“No,” she said automatically. “No, that’s not it.” But she could barely get the words out past her tight throat, and when she broke down into sobs, Sharon was already there, on her knees, holding her, telling her it was all right.
“It’s okay. You’ll be okay,” she promised.
“Six months,” Evelyn sobbed, needing to say it to somebody. “He was sleeping with her for six months.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
“There have probably been others. Hundreds of others!”
“There haven’t been hundreds.”
“How can I know?”
Sharon patted her back and rocked her gently. “Is he gone? Did he move out?”
“No. He’s golfing. Nothing has changed for him. Nothing at all.”
“That asshole,” Sharon growled, startling Evelyn into a watery laugh.
“He is an asshole.”
“Yes, he is. Get your things. You’re coming to my place.”
“Sharon! I can’t move in with you!”
“No, but you’re going to spend the night. The kids are with their dad, and we never had our girls’ night.”
She resisted for a moment. She’d left the house a few times in the past week for spying purposes, but she hadn’t had to be with another person. Not really. Cameron didn’t need her, Gary gave her space, but Sharon . . . She couldn’t hide from Sharon. “I don’t want to go to a restaurant or anything. I don’t want to see anyone.”
“No problem. We’ll pick up wine and pizza on the way there.”
The wine part didn’t sound bad anyway. Nodding, Evelyn went upstairs to brush her teeth and get dressed.
Two hours later, she was sprawled out on her sister’s couch, stuffed from pizza and more than halfway drunk. When her phone rang, she saw Gary’s name and groaned. “It’s him.”
“Give me that,” Sharon ordered.
Grimacing, she handed the phone over.
“Hi, Gary. It’s Sharon. Did you lose your wife?”
Evelyn snorted.
“Yes, she’s with me. She’s spending the night here. I’ll bring her home after I’ve fed her a few more times. Someone needs to look out for her.” She hung up and gave the phone the finger.
Evelyn’s snort turned into a cackle. Once she’d quieted, Sharon nudged her foot. “So do you want to tell me what happened?”
Yes, she wanted to, but she couldn’t. “You know what happened. The typical thing. He met some blond bimbo and wanted her. They did it, and did it, and did it some more! I found out. The end.”
“Did he admit it?”
“Eventually. After he lied several times.”
Sharon’s voice dropped. “Did he love her?”
Evelyn swallowed hard. “He says it was just sex. He said . . . Well, he wasn’t getting it at home.”
Sharon sighed and topped off Evelyn’s glass with a healthy amount of wine. “You know what my favorite thing about men is? They all love to joke about not getting enough sex. How wives lose interest after the wedding. But the truth is, their sole seduction technique becomes, ‘Hey. Wanna go upstairs?’”
“Ha.”
“I’m serious. Think about how hard they work for sex before. Oh my God, when you’re first dating, it’s like a full-time job for them. They dress nicely and use breath mints, and they shave. Hell, these days they even groom their pubic hair. And God, they’re so fucking charming, aren’t they?”
Evelyn laughed. “They are.”
“Flowers. Gifts. So many jokes. So many phone calls. Do you remember when you used to talk to Gary for hours on the phone?”
“I’d forgotten that!” She’d also forgotten what it was like to be charmed. Just the word was delightful. The feeling itself? That was . . . lost. Gone. Extinct.
“Jeff used to ask me which book I was reading, and then he’d read the same book just so we could talk about it! He doesn’t even like books.”
Evelyn sipped her wine and sank into the cushions. “Gary once wrote a whole letter about my breasts.”
“No, he didn’t!”
“Yes, he definitely did. Two pages. It was beautiful and dumb and I loved it.”
“And when was the last time he did that?” Sharon demanded.
“Please.”
“You see what I mean? They never get enough at home, but they treat us like milk cows. ‘Come on, Bessie, this won’t take long at all.’”
Evelyn laughed, but her laughter faded quickly.
Sharon was right. The blame was always on the wife for losing interest. No one ever joked about how husbands seemed to think a clitoris was a reorder button at an office supply store. They pushed it for more of what they wanted, then got quickly back to more interesting things. Whatever sport was on TV, or golfing with friends, or just work. Even work was more fun than writing an ode to your wife’s breasts.
She shook her head. When was the last time Gary had tried to charm her? When had he even tried his best to make her smile?
“What are you going to do?” Sharon asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Have you given up?”
Had she? No. She was fighting for her marriage, or that was what she’d been telling herself she was doing. Fighting the power of Juliette. “I’ve been stalking her on Facebook.”
“What?” Sharon gasped. “Evelyn, no! Don’t go down that hole. How did you even find out her name? Do you know her?”
“No. I made him tell me. I made him tell me everything.”
“God, that was a terrible idea.”
“I guess it was. It’s all I can think about. I’m just . . . I’m losing my mind a little, Sharon.”
“Well, stop it!” her sister demanded, and at least Evelyn was laughing again. “I’m serious,” Sharon said. “Stop obsessing. No wonder you can’t eat.”
“But what am I going to do?” she wailed.
Sharon scooted over on the couch and wrapped an arm around Evelyn’s shoulders. “What do you want to do? Do you want to get divorced?”
Evelyn looked around her sister’s living room. There were pictures of her three kids everywhere, but the children themselves weren’t here because they were with their father this weekend. It was his year for Christmas too, if Evelyn remembered correctly. Sharon would come for a quiet dinner at Evelyn’s house.
“No,” she answered.
“Does Gary want a divorce?”
“No.” Not that she’d given him a choice.
“You still love him?”
“I think so. Yes. Maybe.”
“Then I guess you’ll both have to work your asses off. Fight for it.”
“That’s . . . That’s what I planned, but I’m so damn tired now.”
“I know. But not as tired as you’ll be if you have to fight your way back from a divorce from a man you still love. Believe me.”
Yes, she believed that was true. She’d seen the toll it had taken on her sister. All the years of plans and dreams with a spouse. It wasn’t just the past you walked away from in a divorce; you walked away from your future as well. Everything you’d expected from life was changed.
She didn’t want to start over. She couldn’t. She wanted her marriage. She wanted Gary. He was all she’d known for so long. “We agreed to go to couples’ therapy.”
“Good. But first you need to start eating again. Stop trying to die.”
She laid her head on her sister’s shoulder. “How do I do that?”
“You get up in the morning. You shower
. Put on makeup. Wear something that isn’t fleece.”
“That sounds awful.”
“I know, but you do it anyway.”
“Okay.” Evelyn sighed.
“Promise me? Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow’s Sunday. Don’t be ridiculous.”
Sharon laughed and poked her shoulder. “Fine. On Monday you’ll start living again. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And you’ll stop being obsessed.”
“Sure.”
“Do you promise?” her sister pressed. “No more Facebook? No more stalking?”
“All right,” Evelyn said. “I’ll stop on Monday. I promise.”
CHAPTER 29
AFTER
So perfect little Juliette was going to walk away with everything. Her career. Her friends. Her reputation. Her children. Her life. Her sanity. Her husband. And Evelyn’s husband too. All of it.
Evelyn got nothing. Dawn Brigham got nothing. And Kaylee got worse than nothing. She got dead and forgotten and blamed for something that was Juliette’s fault.
Rocking, Evelyn clutched the steering wheel of her car and watched the line of vehicles picking up schoolchildren, who screeched and laughed with freedom and joy as they waited. Had Evelyn ever been that happy? It was hard to imagine, but she supposed at some time, even walking home through cold, slushy streets to a dingy apartment, she and her sister must have chased and laughed and screamed like that. They’d had no idea what life would bring.
Neither had Kaylee. When she was tiny like Juliette Whitman’s children, Kaylee must have bubbled over with happiness too. Now she was rotting in the ground, a worthless junkie. Even the messages of sympathy on Facebook had died off. Kaylee had officially done this to herself. No point in getting too worked up over it.
Evelyn had gone home after this morning’s confrontation at the gallery. Shivering, she’d drawn a bath to warm herself, but she hadn’t been able to soak any comfort into her skin. Because she didn’t deserve any comfort. She hadn’t yet done the right thing.
She’d been lied to her whole life by TV and the movies. The police didn’t solve all the mysteries. With some cases, they didn’t even try. Evelyn was still the only one who knew the real truth, and if she didn’t tell it, it would die with her.
This wasn’t right. It wasn’t justice. She had to do this for Kaylee. The girl’s family deserved to be left with more than guilt. If Juliette just went on with her life like normal, it would be Evelyn’s fault.
If Juliette’s parents were as rich as Noah had implied, maybe she wouldn’t lose much at all, but at least everyone would know. She wouldn’t be a beloved, adorable teacher anymore. She’d be called a heartless animal, just as she deserved. Everyone would look at her and see the real Juliette.
Evelyn rocked and waited. Her phone buzzed with a text message, but it wasn’t from Noah, so she dropped the phone back in the passenger seat and watched the school doors.
An hour later Juliette emerged with her towheaded children. She was smiling today. Moving on. She was happy again, as if she’d somehow sensed that Evelyn had lost everything.
Evelyn got out and walked straight toward her.
She was talking to little Connor and didn’t notice Evelyn until she was only a few feet away. “Hello!” Juliette said with a smile that quickly faded. “Are you okay?”
Evelyn swiped a tear impatiently from her cheek. “I’m Evelyn Tester. Do you know who I am?”
Juliette’s expression of vague concern turned immediately to stark fear. Her nostrils flared, and Evelyn could see a pulse beating hard and fast in her throat. “Kids,” she said, “I changed my mind. You can have ten minutes on the playground.” The kids squealed and rocketed toward the swings at the far corner of the school.
Smart. Quick. She was good at this.
“Mrs. Tester . . .” Juliette paused and took a deep breath as her sweet little voice sank into Evelyn’s brain. Standing this close to her, Evelyn was aware of just how delicate she was. Six inches shorter than Evelyn and probably fifty pounds lighter. Evelyn’s hands shook.
Juliette seemed to have steadied herself. “I don’t know what you think is—”
“I know exactly what happened. All of it.”
“I doubt that’s true,” she countered.
“Her name was Kaylee Brigham,” Evelyn said. “Did you know that?”
Juliette didn’t panic. She just pressed a hand to her mouth and nodded. “Yes. I know that.”
“She was seventeen years old. She didn’t deserve any of this. And I want you to know I’m going to the police.”
Juliette’s eyes widened, and she dropped her hand. “You? Why?”
“Because you deserve to pay, that’s why. Every man in the world might be a sucker for your helpless little act, but the moms at this school won’t want their children around a monster who’d seduce their husbands and run over a child without even stopping.”
That made her step back. Finally. “Is that what he told you?” she whispered.
The power was back, swelling inside Evelyn’s veins and pushing out her heartache. Noah might have chosen Juliette, but Evelyn could stop all of this. “Kaylee deserves more than that. Her mother deserves more. They need justice, and I will give it to them.”
“He said I was driving?”
“You were. He’d had too much to drink.”
“He said I seduced him?”
Evelyn sneered. “Oh, you’re going to pretend you didn’t?”
Juliette laughed. She actually laughed while her whole adorable life was resting in Evelyn’s hands. A gust of wind blew her blond hair across her face, and when she shoved it back her eyes had narrowed. “I can’t believe you’re threatening me.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t have the guts?” Evelyn demanded. “After you destroyed my life?”
“I’ve been protecting you!” Juliette’s loud words rang across the schoolyard. “I’m the only one standing between you and ruin.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I wasn’t driving that night. Your precious husband was.”
“No. He’d had too much to drink at dinner, so he asked you to drive. When you hit Kaylee, you kept driving, but you were hysterical. You went off the road. You—”
“The car went off the road because I grabbed the steering wheel and tried to make Gary turn around.”
Gary. The sound of her saying his name distracted Evelyn for a moment, but only a moment. “No,” she whispered. “He’d been drinking.”
“Oh, yes. He’d definitely been drinking. He’d insisted on taking me to dinner, but all I wanted to tell him was that it was over. That I was going to turn him in if he didn’t stop calling me.”
“No.”
“Yes,” Juliette answered.
“He was trying to break it off with you. It wasn’t healthy.”
“It wasn’t healthy?” Her voice had risen again. Evelyn glanced around, surprised Juliette would risk attracting attention.
But Juliette didn’t seem to care. She raised her chin and stared straight at Evelyn. “I hope you came here for the truth, because here’s the truth. I went to your husband because I couldn’t enjoy sex anymore. I told him that I’d shut down in bed. I’d become unresponsive. Impassive.”
Even in the midst of the horror of what Juliette was revealing, even in that awful moment, Evelyn felt proud of what she’d given Noah. That was why he’d been so hungry for her. Because his wife was impassive and Evelyn was insatiable. Even in this terrible conversation, that was what her mind grasped onto.
“Doctor Tester,” Juliette sneered, “told me we’d need to explore my boundaries. It took time. It was months before he even touched me. But that first visit . . . that was when your husband decided he’d have me.”
Evelyn shook her head. “That’s not what happened.”
“That,” she spit out, “is exactly what happened. He knew I was so screwed up I wouldn’t say no to him. Not to an authority figure. I me
an, good God, even I thought it was mutual at first. I thought it was a love affair. And even then I wanted to kill myself for what I was doing. But it wasn’t mutual. It wasn’t love. It was sick. He was supposed to be helping me, and instead he used me as a sex doll.”
“No,” Evelyn insisted, her voice still sure and strong.
No. But wasn’t that the more likely story? Hadn’t it been happening just that way between doctors and patients for so long that there were strict rules against it? A psychiatrist was never allowed to sleep with a patient because the doctor was in a position of authority.
“I’d been trying to break it off for weeks. He kept saying that we had more work to do.”
Evelyn shook her head, but Juliette wouldn’t stop talking.
“He thought we were getting a room that night. He thought we’d go to dinner and then have sneaky, dirty sex afterward like normal. But I was there to tell him it was over. He was angry. He had a few drinks. He was pissed and drunk and driving too fast. And after he hit that girl, he drove away like she was nothing.”
“He got out,” Evelyn breathed. “He checked on her. She was too far gone. He couldn’t help her.”
“He never did any such thing. He stopped for a second, but then he took off again. Told me he’d lose his career, his wife, his house. He said it wasn’t his fault. She’d been in the middle of our lane. That much was true. But I tried to make him turn around. I tried. I swear.”
Juliette was crying, finally. Her face crumpling into sobs. “Maybe we could have helped her. Maybe she was still alive. But he said I’d lose everything too. My job and husband and kids. I didn’t know what to do.”
“No, it was you,” Evelyn whispered, but even she didn’t believe it now. She remembered the way Juliette had jerked away from Gary that night, snarling, “Don’t touch me.” She’d been furious. Horrified. Disgusted.
Juliette groaned. “I think about that poor girl every day. I think about what I did, what I didn’t do, and I wish I could go back and change everything. So if you want to go to the police, just go. I’ll tell them everything.”
One of her kids squealed. Juliette’s reddened eyes moved to the swings as more tears spilled over. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “My poor babies. I’m so sorry.”
Evelyn, After: A Novel Page 21
