by Crane, M. L.
The other Alice entered the kitchen. “Yeah?” she asked timidly.
While he continued to stare at the surface of the table, Randall said, “I had a talk with Mr. Fischer today. He said you refused a job. Said you tried to use the bullshit excuse of being on your period again.”
“Dad, I’m sorry. I just didn’t feel like it. I’m really tired. I just need a break.”
“He said he even offered you extra. Is that true?” Randall turned his gaze on the other Alice, his eyes daring her to lie to him.
The other Alice swallowed hard, “Yes. But dad, I…”
“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” Randall slammed his fist down on the Formica table making it rattle. “How the hell am I supposed to pay the bills if you keep turning down jobs?!”
The other Alice trembled with fear. She knew she shouldn’t argue with her father. She knew it would mean receiving his awful punishment. But she couldn’t stop herself. Not this time. She clenched her fists and stood her ground.
“Dad, I don’t want to do it anymore! You can’t keep making me do this! It hurts!” the other Alice screamed. She immediately regretted it. She saw that dreadful look flash in her father’s eyes. The look that he had just before he would punish her.
“Oh. It hurts, does it? Well, you little bitch. It’s gonna really hurt when I get done with you.”
Randall lunged at the other Alice and grabbed her by the arm. He spun her around, awkwardly bending her arm behind her. He pushed her face down onto the kitchen table, pinning her in place with his arm. With his other free hand, he reached up her skirt and pulled down her panties.
Alice knew exactly what was about to happen, and she couldn’t take it anymore. She turned her face away, unable to watch. She closed her eyes and began to sob. But even though she wasn’t looking, she could still hear the disgusting act taking place.
Alice heard the sound of Randall’s belt being removed, and his pants dropping to the floor. She heard the other Alice begging him to stop and promising not to pass on another job ever again. And then, she heard the other Alice go silent as Randall gave her, her punishment.
Alice placed her hands over her ears trying to block out the gut-wrenching sounds.
“No more. Please. Just make it stop. Please, make it go away.” Alice pleaded.
Just then, Alice felt the floor shaking beneath her feet. It felt like an earthquake. She opened her eyes and threw her hands out to her sides, trying to keep her balance. The whole house was vibrating, and the floor began to disappear into nothingness.
Suddenly, Alice found herself falling.
After only a few seconds of falling into the darkness, a bright flash of light blinded Alice. She threw her hands up in front of her face to shield her eyes.
Alice squinted and blinked, waiting for her eyes to adjusted to the light. Slowly, her surroundings came into focus.
Alice found herself standing in a long white corridor. How did that happen? When did she stop falling? She couldn’t remember ever stopping. And she surely didn’t remember hitting the ground.
Alice pushed her hair out of her face and noticed that there was a warm, sticky substance on her hands. When she looked at her hands, she was shocked to discovered that she was covered in blood. A wave of panic washed over her as she examined herself. She didn’t appear to be hurt. Feeling repulsed after realizing that it wasn’t her own blood, she gagged while she tried to wipe her hands clean on her clothing. But no matter how hard she wiped them, the blood wouldn’t come off.
“Alice…”
Alice gasped and looked around for the source of the phantom voice. The stark white corridor was suddenly lined on both sides with tall mirrors. How what that possible? Those mirrors weren’t there before. Where did they come from?
Alice looked back down at her hands and saw with relief that the blood had disappeared.
Alice began cautiously making her way down the corridor.
“Hello?” Alice called out.
The mirrors captured each other’s reflections, causing the illusion that each one contained portals to unknown worlds.
Alice continued taking baby steps down the corridor and called out again, “Hello? Is anyone there?”
“AliceAliceAlice…” Several voices called out to Alice.
Alice froze when she realized that the disembodied voices were calling out to her from within the mirrors.
Alice screamed and jumped back as a ghostly arm reached out through one of the mirrors and tried to grab her. Without hesitation, she bolted down the corridor as though an electric surge coursed through her muscles.
“HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE!” Alice screamed.
The corridor seemed to stretch and grow longer, mocking Alice’s efforts to get away. The voices from within the mirrors continued calling out to her and were getting louder. Phantom hands shot out of the mirrors, snatching at Alice as she ran past them.
Alice was on the verge of panic. The corridor looked as though it could go on forever, and there were no doors anywhere. How was she supposed to get out of this place?
Like a mirage in the desert, Alice saw something manifesting and taking shape at the end of the corridor. It was a large wooden, medieval-style door. It was rounded at the top and had a black iron ring door handle. The door was encased by a red brick archway.
Adrenaline coursed through Alice’s veins as she ran towards the door, every muscle in her body screaming at her. She had to get to that door. It had to be the way out!
The corridor began pulsing and throbbing as it stretched and grew, then shrank and contracted, as though it had come alive. Alice was becoming extremely disoriented. She felt dizzy and nauseated with vertigo, but she couldn’t stop. She had to reach the door.
Despite Alice’s efforts, the door kept getting farther and farther away.
Alice stopped running and placed her hands on her knees while she tried to catch her breath. She watched dismally as the door grew smaller and smaller. It looked so strange. She had stopped running, but yet the door was still getting farther away.
Alice’s eyes lit up when she realized that it wasn’t moving farther away, it was shrinking! She regained hope and ran with her hands stretched out in front of her, desperately trying to reach it before it was too late.
By the time Alice had reached the door, it had shrunken down to the size of a small fairy door, like the ones people often put in their gardens for decoration. It was not even big enough for her head to go through. But she didn’t care. She had to try.
Alice got down on her knees and grabbed the door handle. She pulled and twisted, but the door wouldn’t budge. It was locked.
Alice became hysterical, pounding on the tiny fairy door with both of her fists. Then, she sat down and supported herself with her hands as she drove her feet into the door with every ounce of strength she had left. But no matter how hard she tried, the door wouldn’t budge.
Feeling exhausted and defeated, Alice eventually gave up. She sprawled out onto the floor breathing heavily and stared up at the ceiling. She was trapped.
As Alice lay there, too tired to move and accepting her fate, she saw something glittering in the corner of her eye. She turned her head towards it and saw a small golden key on the floor beside her. Alice propped herself up on to her elbows and stared at it. It was very small. Too small to fit inside a normal sized lock. One last surge of hope coursed through her.
Alice grabbed the key and shoved it into the miniature lock. She turned the key and heard the glorious metallic click of victory. She laid on her stomach to get a better view, and slowly pulled the door open. On the other side of the door was another identical corridor.
“NOOO!”
Alice went limp. With her cheek pressed against the cold hard floor, tears ran down her face as she began to sob. She felt more alone than she had ever felt in her entire life.
Alice just laid there, thinking of all the people who had hurt her throughout her life. She thought of how much her mother had despi
sed her. She thought of how little her father had cared for her. She thought of how Dr. Pelletier had used her as a lab rat. And she thought of how Nurse Allen had lied and betrayed her.
Why? Why did everyone she ever cared for, hate her so much? Why did they all use her, or abuse her in one way or another? What had she ever done to deserve any of this?
Then, Alice thought of Rose. Rose had loved her. She was the only person that had ever mattered to Alice, and she was gone. Alice felt broken inside. She had given up. She wasn’t going to run away anymore. She was ready to face whatever evil was coming for her.
Alice slowly pushed herself up onto all fours, and glanced back through the little fairy door one last time. She watched as something began to take shape at the end of the other corridor. It swirled and waved as though it were made of smoke and oil. Alice squinted, trying to focus on the image. Then, the shadowy figure came into view.
“I’m not scared of you anymore. You want me? Come and get me, you bitch,” Alice said coldly.
Alice stood up and waited for the shadowy figure to come through the tiny door. She waited and waited, but the figure never came through.
“Humph. Now look who’s scared.”
Alice turned around to leave and found herself only inches away from the shadowy figure. Neither of them said a word. Neither of them moved.
Alice spread her arms as though waiting for an embrace, and willingly allowed the shadowy figure to engulf her.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR
“Alice. Wake up. Alice, open your eyes.”
Alice felt someone gripping her shoulders and lightly shaking her, trying to pull her out of the deep confines of her mind. The sweet musky smell of cigars filled her nose, letting her know that it was Dr. Pelletier.
Alice blinked her eyes open and saw Dr. Pelletier staring at her, only inches from her face. She tried to back away from him but found herself unable to move.
“Can you hear me, Alice?”
“Huh? Yeah,” Alice replied, groggily.
“Oh, good. Nurse Noble will be happy to hear that you’re doing just fine. She was worried that a double dose was too much. Even I was beginning to worry.”
“What?”
“You’ve been out for almost two days, which I am sorry for. But I had no other option. You were not cooperating with me, so I was forced to do what was necessary to complete this experiment. Unfortunately, things have not gone as planned, so I have to go with Plan B and force you to see the truth. I’m sorry, Alice. I really wish there could be another way.”
Alice was still trying to get her eyes to focus. She looked around but did not recognize the room she was in. It was brightly lit with natural sunlight that was coming through the large windows. The walls were bare and painted white. She could see that there was a large table behind Dr. Pelletier, but he was blocking it from her view.
“Force me to see the truth? Wait…what? Wh-where am I? What’s going on?” Alice asked. She was still heavily drugged and was finding it difficult to process anything that Dr. Pelletier was saying to her.
“Concentrate, Alice. Look around, and concentrate. You know exactly where you are.”
“What?” Alice stared at Dr. Pelletier, feeling confused. How could she possibly know where she was? She had never been in that room before.
Alice looked around the room once more, taking her time to observe it. Her eyes grew with shock when she realized that she did know where she was. But how was that possible?
Alice looked at Dr. Pelletier with wide eyes and said, “I-I’m in the meeting room.” Alice spoke so softly, as though she didn’t dare to trust the words that were coming out of her mouth.
Dr. Pelletier smiled and nodded. “Very good, Alice. Very good.”
“But…”
Dr. Pelletier interrupted Alice and asked the question that she was trying to articulate. “But why does it look so different?”
Alice simply nodded in response.
“It’s the truth,” Dr. Pelletier replied.
Alice didn’t know what to say. She believed what he was saying was the truth, but what she didn’t understand was how it was the truth. Why hadn’t she seen it like this before? Was her entire experience at the Lutwidge Mental Health Institute a hallucination brought on through his experiment?
“Don’t be frightened. I will explain everything to you, but we must take it one step at a time.”
“I’m not,” Alice muttered under her breath.
“Excuse me? You’re not what, Alice?”
Alice looked Dr. Pelletier in the eye and said, “I’m. Not. Afraid.”
Alice’s words were so cold that it took Dr. Pelletier by surprise. He backed away from her, revealing the table behind him.
Alice was sitting in front of a long wooden table that was large enough to seat at least twelve people. Directly across the table from her was a young girl. The girl had long blonde hair that was wild and tangled. Clearly, a simple hairbrush couldn’t tame it. The girl’s deep midnight-blue eyes were wide and full of curiosity. Alice was staring at her own reflection.
“What’s the mirror for?” Alice asked.
“That, my dear, is where all of your answers lie.”
Alice shot Dr. Pelletier a look of annoyance. She tried to move her arm with every intention to flip Dr. Pelletier off, but her arm jerked to a stop. She looked down and saw that she was sitting in a wheelchair with both of her wrists bound by restraints.
“Alice, I apologize for the restraints. But after the recent events, I’ve had to take special precautions.”
“Yeah, because God forbid if I try to get away from the maniac who is trying to kill me.”
“Please, Alice. I can assure you that that is not the case. I want to help you. I have been trying to bring you back for such a long time.”
“Bring me back? Back from where? What the hell are you talking about?” Alice was beginning to lose her temper.
“You have been trapped inside of your own imagination, Alice. When you first arrived here, you were in shock. You began experiencing what is called, Maladaptive Daydreaming, as a coping method. This occurs when someone becomes so lost inside of their own daydream, that they tend to forget where they are. They may talk to themselves or sometimes even act out the situation in which they have created in their mind. Everyone experiences it on occasion, but eventually, they snap out of it, and they never lose touch with reality. But you, however, took it to the next level. You refused to see the reality around you, and you chose to remain in your daydreams. Which, eventually, they escalated into full-blown delusions. Your delusions were so strong that they became your truth. In a sense, you created a false reality. You were so deep inside of this made up world of yours, that I didn’t think I would ever be able to pull you out of it.”
Alice remained quiet so Dr. Pelletier continued.
“On the third week of your arrival, I ordered a drug called Deludorzine to be administered to you once a day. It began to work almost immediately, and your imaginary world began to crack, and bits of reality began to seep into those cracks. It was important that you see the truth, but it happened much faster than I had anticipated. You need to know, but…but I had hoped it wouldn’t be like this. I’m sorry, Alice. But this might be difficult.”
Alice’s head was pounding, and her stomach was turning; two sensations that she had grown accustomed to. She looked away from Dr. Pelletier, unable to respond. She had basically just been told that she was crazy. What did he expect her to say? She didn’t want to believe him, but…
Dr. Pelletier sighed. He pulled a chair up next to Alice and sat down, tapping a finger on his bottom lip as he considered what to say next. “Alice, tell me. Why do you think you were given an internship here?”
“Because you gave it to me. You tricked me so you could do this experiment on me,” Alice replied matter-of-factly, without looking at Dr. Pelletier.
“No, Alice. Think harder. Why would I do that? Did you study Psychiatr
y? Where did you go to school?”
“I…I, um…”
“What sort of classes did you take? What was your GPA? What…”
But before Dr. Pelletier could finish his last question, Alice shouted, “I DON’T KNOW!”
But Alice did know.
Alice could no longer deny the truth as suppressed memories began to surface, and reality came crashing down around her. She was Alice Lily Dodgson, only 17 years old. She had never finished high school and had certainly never been to college. She knew nothing about Psychiatry and was never given an internship. She arrived at the Lutwidge Mental Health Institute about a month ago as a patient.
Alice’s lip quivered and she looked at Dr. Pelletier through blurry eyes. “Are they real?”
“Are who real, Alice?”
“The patients I’ve been meeting. Are they real or did I just make them up, too?”
Dr. Pelletier took a moment to consider the question before answering. “Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. Yes, they are real.”
Alice narrowed her eyes at Dr. Pelletier, annoyed with his ridiculous answer. “What is that supposed to mean? Are they real or not?”
“I cannot see them as you see them, Alice. I can speak to them and interact with them, but only you can see them for who they really are.”
“What are you trying to say? That they are my imaginary friends or something?”
“Not exactly. They live inside of you, Alice. You have what is called, Dissociative Identity Disorder. You probably know it as Multiple Personality Disorder. They are you, and you are them. So yes, they are real.”
Alice’s heart was racing. “No, no. That doesn’t make any sense. That’s not possible. I spoke directly to them. I saw them with my own eyes! They sat right there across the ta…” Alice froze mid-sentence when she looked into the mirror that sat on the table.
Dr. Pelletier held his breath and leaned forward in his chair with anticipation, waiting for Alice to make the connection.
