by Crane, M. L.
Alice looked up at Dr. Pelletier. Her eyes were so full of despair. He took the trash can from her and set it down on the floor. He took the handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed away the beads of sweat that had formed on her brow.
“I-I remember waking up and not knowing where I was. I was so confused. I didn’t know what had happened. One minute I was on the bridge talking to the Tweedie brothers, and the next I was laying next to Dean covered in…covered in their…
“I washed myself off the best I could in the creek. I-I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do. I ran home and took a shower. And then I…I just…I just…forgot. How could I do that? How could I just forget? Oh, my God. I can’t believe I did those things.” Alice buried her face in her hands and began to cry.
“Alice, dear. Please don’t blame yourself. Yes, what happened that day was certainly horrific, and I’m sorry that you had to remember it. But having spent years suffering from severe abuse, your mind coped with it the only way it knew how. And at that moment, it chose to protect you by any means necessary.”
Alice stopped crying and looked at him questioningly. “What are you talking about? That was not a spur of the moment decision. She’d been planning it for weeks! Uh, uh. No. That was cold blooded murder. I am a murderer!” She looked down at her hands, examining them as if she were seeing them for the first time.
“I understand that she’d been planning it for quite some time, but Alice, I don’t believe that Chelsea meant to kill them. I strongly believe that she had only meant to hurt them, punish them. She only did it to protect you.”
Alice didn’t respond because she knew the truth. Chelsea knew exactly what she was doing. She meant to kill them. She wanted them dead, and so did Alice.
“Dr. Pelletier?” Alice asked, still staring at her hands in disgust.
“Yes?”
“I’m glad they’re dead. I’m glad Chelsea killed them. I think that they deserved it for what they had done to me.” She looked at Dr. Pelletier and asked, “Does it make me a monster for feeling that way?”
Dr. Pelletier sighed and dabbed away the tears that trickled down Alice’s cheeks. “No, dear. I don’t believe that it makes you a monster. I believe it makes you human.”
Alice smiled, satisfied with Dr. Pelletier’s answer.
Suddenly, Alice could feel something stirring inside of her. She didn’t know what it was, but she could feel it worming its way to the surface. It was bubbling deep in the pit of her stomach like a hot ember, burning and waiting. Waiting for its moment to rise.
Alice looked in the mirror and saw Chelsea looking back at her. She stared at Alice, grinning as though she had a secret that she was just itching to tell.
Darkness slowly began to envelop Chelsea. She winked at Alice and pressed a finger to her lips, motioning for her to remain silent. Within seconds, the darkness had completely consumed her. Chelsea had vanished. Staring back at Alice was the shadowy figure.
Alice squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away quickly. Her heart was racing, and she could feel that burning ember of evil rising from inside of her.
She’s coming.
Alice’s head began to throb, the burning getting stronger and stronger.
She’s getting closer.
Alice was fighting to keep Her locked in and stop Her from being released. Alice didn’t even know who She was, but she knew that she was terrified of Her. And so should everyone else.
“Alice, are you all right?” Dr. Pelletier asked.
She’s almost here.
Alice didn’t dare to open her eyes. “I’m fine. I’d like to stop now, please.”
“I know. I know. And we will, soon. We’re almost done, dear. There is just one last thing I’d like to talk about. Alice, tell me about the last night that you saw your father.”
“No. Stop,” Alice begged. The burning was radiating through her whole chest, and her head was throbbing intensely.
“What happened after your father had finished raping you?” Dr. Pelletier asked, ignoring Alice’s plea.
“Stop it,” Alice said through gritted teeth. The pressure in her head was so severe that she thought it might explode.
“Please, Alice. I know it must hurt to think about and I hate to do this to you, but it’s very important that we discuss it. What happened that night?”
Suddenly, the room began spinning wildly like a Tilt-A-Whirl. Alice could hear Whitney, Maddock, Chelsea, and Marsha all screaming her name. They were calling out to her with fear and desperation in their voices. They were shouting, begging Alice to stop Dr. Pelletier. She was coming, and he was going to let Her out.
“Stop it! Shut up! You can’t let Her out!” Alice shouted desperately.
“Let who out, Alice? Marsha? Did she do it?”
Alice squeezed her eyes shut tighter and pressed the palms of her hands against her ears, trying to block out the sound of Dr. Pelletier’s voice.
“Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!” Alice let out a glass shattering scream and then, as quickly as it had all happened, she fell silent. Her hands dropped to her lap, and her body slumped forward.
“Alice? Alice, can you hear me? Alice?!” There was panic in Dr. Pelletier’s voice as he grabbed Alice by her shoulders and began to shake her.
She’s here.
Alice’s eyes flew open, and she slowly raised her head.
What Dr. Pelletier saw was nothing like any of the alters that he had met. And it certainly was not Alice. He had never seen this look in Alice’s eyes before, and it made his blood run cold. He released Alice’s shoulders and slowly backed away from her.
“Alice?”
“I am not Alice. You will call me, your Majesty.”
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
Alice looked into the mirror and chuckled. “Oh, my. It seems that your precious little Alice has fallen down the rabbit hole.”
The voice that ushered past Alice’s lips was unlike anything Dr. Pelletier had ever heard. It sounded as though hundreds of tortured souls were speaking at once, coming together as one, creating an other-worldly demonic voice. It was as though this alternate personality had come straight from the pits of Hell.
Alice’s eyes were cold and dark. They were empty as though her soul had been ripped away from her. Her blank dead stare was unsettling.
Dr. Pelletier found himself staring at Alice with fear and wonder. He adjusted his blue bow tie and swallowed hard, forcing himself to speak. “Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is…”
Alice threw her hand up to silence Dr. Pelletier, glaring at him with distaste. “I know who you are. Dr. Lewis C. Pelletier,” she said, spitting his name out venomously, sending a chill down his spine. “And I really must congratulate you. If it were not for your exasperating persistence and your arrogant ignorance, I would have had no need, nor reason, to show myself to you. Bravo.” Alice began to clap her hands slowly.
Dr. Pelletier cleared his throat nervously. “Well, it is very nice to meet you. I was under the impression that Alice only had four alters, so you’ll have to excuse me if I seem surprised by your presence. It also seems that I am at a bit of a disadvantage here. You know who I am, but I don’t know who you are.”
“I am the Queen,” Alice stated.
Dr. Pelletier shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I see. And what is your name?”
Alice straightened her back and stuck out her chin proudly. “I need no name.”
“All right, very well. But if you have no name, what would you like me to call you?”
Alice slammed her fist down on the table making Dr. Pelletier jump. Her face reddened as she shouted, “YOUR MAJESTY!”
Dr. Pelletier threw his trembling hands up in defense. “I apologize. Please forgive me for my impertinence, your Majesty.”
Throughout all of his years of psychiatry, Dr. Pelletier had met patients that made him nervous from time to time, but he had never been frightened of them. But as he sat there, facing Alice
’s hidden alter, the Queen, he finally saw what true evil was. And he was petrified.
Dr. Pelletier continued, his voice quivering, “If you please, your Majesty, can you tell me if you were there on the last night that Alice saw her father?”
The Queen smirked. “Of course I was. As well as the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that. I have been with Alice for a very, very long time.”
“Why haven’t you introduced yourself before?”
“I was just biding my time, waiting for the right moment. My grand entrance, you might say. I would have waited a bit longer, but you were relentless. I was taking pleasure in observing you. Seeing the look of failure in your eyes as your little experiment began to unravel was quite comical. And watching you lose your temper? That was most entertaining.” Alice grinned.
“How long have you been with Alice?”
“I have always been here, watching and waiting. I patiently remained silent while I festered inside of her like an incurable disease. Oh, there were times that she could sense me. She could feel my beautiful darkness inside of her. But she wouldn’t let me out, and I wasn’t strong enough yet to come out on my own. But then, the pathetic little bitch created the others to try to bring herself comfort. It should have been ME that she needed! I WAS HERE FIRST!”
Dr. Pelletier didn’t know what to do. He felt nauseated and began to sweat. He wanted to end the session and make the Queen slither back into the depths of Hell where she belonged. But wasn’t this what he wanted? He sought answers and was determined to get them by any means necessary. And he was getting them. He knew that there was no turning back.
“Oh, my. How incredibly unfair, your Majesty. You have every right to be angry. Alice ignored you and chose the others over you. Most unfortunate.” Dr. Pelletier was doing his best to appease the Queen’s narcissistic personality.
“I wouldn’t have it! They are beneath me! How dare she choose them over me! I AM THE QUEEN!” she shouted as she trembled with rage. But then, as quickly as the tantrum had begun, it faded. Her eyes flashed with satisfaction, and a smile spread across her lips as she calmly continued. “But it doesn’t matter. I saw to it that things were done my way. I rule the others with fear, the way any proper Queen should rule her subjects. They are under my control, and they are nothing more than my stupid little puppets. They say what I want them to say. They do what I tell them to do. And they only show themselves when I tell them that they can.”
Dr. Pelletier was confused by the Queen’s last statement. “You control when the others come through? But surely they must come out on their own some of the time.”
The Queen threw her head back and laughed. The sinister sound that burst out of her made the hairs on Dr. Pelletier’s body stand on end.
“You are such a fool. Did you honestly believe that you were the one in control of Alice’s subconscious? Thinking that your ridiculous experiment was actually working? WRONG! You may have tricked Alice for a short time, but I was the one in control! I knew what you wanted, and I gave it to you. Don’t you see? I played your stupid game! Did you really think for one second that they were capable of doing all of those incredible things on their own? YOU IDIOT! They are all too weak! They are nothing without me! NOTHING!”
Dr. Pelletier saw that the Queen was very quick to lose her temper. He had to choose his words more carefully.
“I must say, your Majesty, I am rather impressed. With so many subjects to control, it must have been difficult. Could you please tell me, how did you manage it?”
The Queen smiled with pride, pleased with Dr. Pelletier’s interest in her work.
“It would be my pleasure.” The Queen leaned back in the wheelchair and crossed her legs. There was a gleam in her eye as she told her story. “Whitney Roberts was my first little puppet. All I did was simply plant the idea in her mind that adults were monsters. For a while, the only thing the skittish little brat would do was hide in closets. But I explained to her that the monsters were going to kill Alice if she didn’t do something to protect her. And if Alice died, awe, well then she would cease to exist. That was when she was eager to comply.
“Marsha Harris was the most gullible and the easiest to manipulate. I told her that she was irresistible, a sex Goddess, and men just couldn’t get enough of her. I told her that if she truly loved Alice, she would obey Randall and be his whore. The twitchy slut believed me. I admit, it wasn’t my best work, but I needed someone who was willing to fuck those pigs. Alice was too weak to do all of it herself. Far too many times, she thought of taking her own life, and I wasn’t willing to take that chance. I couldn’t let her end me.
“Oh, but Miss Chelsea Catlin. My beautiful, psychotic pet. She was the most fun of all. Her unrelenting obedience to Alice made my work incredibly easy. Watching her beloved Alice get abused day after day, sent her over the edge. I told Chelsea that she had to do whatever was necessary to stop the abuse on Alice. My pet was so wonderfully out of her mind with rage that all I had to do was offer her a few ideas, and she did the rest. So, I must admit, that I cannot take all of the credit for what Chelsea did to those pigs.” The Queen laughed, feeling amused.
Dr. Pelletier waited for the Queen to continue, but it seemed that she had lost interest in the conversation. She was staring in the mirror, admiring her reflection.
“Excuse me, your Majesty, but what about Maddock Hatcher?” Dr. Pelletier asked.
The Queen shot Dr. Pelletier a look filled with irritated hostility. “Maddock?! MADDOCK?! Maddock in an imbecile! Maddock is the afterbirth of an imagination gone awry! I have no use for him!”
“So then, you didn’t make Maddock drown Alice’s kitten?”
“HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD WASTE MY TIME ON SUCH A PETTY THING!” The Queen shouted.
“I apologize, your Majesty. Please forgive me,” Dr. Pelletier said in a rush.
“The idiot killed that ugly little creature on his own! He was too stupid to realize what he was doing!” The Queen was breathing heavily, and her nostrils flared.
Dr. Pelletier knew that he was testing the Queen’s patience, but he had to ask one more question. The one question that was the core reason for his experiment all along. “Did you kill Alice’s father?”
CHAPTER
THIRTY-TWO
Alice, age 17
Randall lunged at Alice and grabbed her by the arm. He spun her around, awkwardly bending her arm behind her. He pushed her face down onto the kitchen table, pinning her in place with his arm.
“No dad, please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I promise I won’t pass on a job ever again! Please don’t! I’m sorry! I’M SORRY!”
Through sobs, Alice begged and pleaded with her father to stop. But her worst fear was about to happen, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her father was going to punish her.
Alice heard her father’s belt come undone and his pants hit the floor. She felt him reach up under her skirt and pull down her panties. Tears streaked down her face, and she held her breath, waiting. And then, Randall rammed himself deep inside of Alice.
Suddenly, that wonderful, dizzying sensation that Alice had grown to love over the last few years had begun to take over her. Her soul became calm, her mind relaxed. Her world around her began to fade, and she allowed herself to drift away. Her body began to twitch.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Alice said as her eyes darted rapidly around the room.
“Hey. Hey, Randall. Hey, do you like that? You like it, don’t you? I’m better than her, huh? I am. I am much better than her. Um, I like to do the things that she won’t do,” Alice said in a voice that was not her own. She spoke rapidly as though her mind was in a hurry and her words couldn’t come out fast enough.
Randall tried to ignore Alice. He just kept ramming himself inside of her, grunting like a pig with the effort.
“Okay, okay. How about something else? Do you want me to turn around? Um. I can suck your dick. I can do that. I know you like it. Do you wa
nt me to do that? Um. I’m really good at it,” Alice rambled, desperate to please him.
“Shut up!” Randall grunted through gritted teeth, trying to concentrate. Alice often pretended to be someone else while he punished her, and he usually went along with it and even enjoyed it. But this time, he was getting angry.
With the excessive drinking he’d done earlier that day, and Alice running her mouth, he had begun to lose his stamina and his temper. He rammed her harder in an attempt to keep his erection.
“Okay, okay, okay. Um. Do you need some help? Huh? Um, I can help you. I can make you hard again. Want me to touch it? I can play with it. What do you want me to do?” Alice continued, unable to stay quiet.
“I want you to shut the fuck up!” Randall snapped. He slammed his fist into the back of Alice’s head making her head bounce off the surface of the table.
Alice saw stars and then blacked out.
Randall pushed himself off of Alice. He was furious that he couldn’t give her the punishment, and he was exhausted from trying. He plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs trying to catch his breath.
“You…you crazy bitch. You should have…you should have shut up.” Randall’s words slurred and his eyes grew heavy. His head bobbed up and down as he tried to stay awake. Unable to fight the inevitable, his head fell back, and he passed out.
Alice lay on the kitchen table, motionless. Her eyes darted back and forth behind her lids, and her breathing was heavy. Suddenly, she inhaled sharply and held her breath. Her eyes flew open. There was a darkness in them like never before. She slowly pushed herself off of the table and turned to face Randall.
Alice looked down at the panties that were still around her ankles. She kicked them aside and crept towards Randall. She stood over him and tilted her head, observing him. She watched his chest rise and fall as he slept, unaware of her presence. She leaned in and deeply inhaled his aroma. He smelled of sweat and cigarettes.
