by Nicole Casey
“We’re not going to be living under your roof,” he retorted.
We’re not?
Was Grayson planning on moving us out of there, away from the endless tension which enshrouded the household?
It filled me with hope but it also didn’t make any sense—I was leaving for school in eight months. Why now?
“Oh!” Mom choked. “This outta be rich. What are you going to do for money? You think your job at the gas station is going to put food on the table? Pay your rent? Do you have any idea what the cost of living is like right now? And what is the princess going to do without her trips to the nail salon every week?”
Oh.
Now it made sense. This had nothing to do with Grayson taking us out of the combative house in which we’d been raised. They were talking about Grayson and Ella moving in together. It had nothing to do with me at all. I was disappointed on so many levels.
“Don’t worry about us,” Grayson said gruffly. “We’ll make it work but thanks for your concern.”
The sarcasm in his voice was almost palpable.
I sighed and sank against the wall. It wasn’t my business, I knew that but I couldn’t help but want to beg him not to be so stupid. Ella Laurier was trouble—and not just because my parents said so. She had the same reputation as her brother. They were both spoiled and used people. I didn’t want Grayson sucked into that any more than he already was.
Maybe it’s a good thing, I reasoned silently. He’ll live with her for five minutes before kicking her to the curb. There’s no way two people as different as them can live under the same roof. Look at Mom and Dad.
I shuddered as I realized that Mom and Dad had two children.
“It’s happening,” Grayson said flatly, turning to stalk from the kitchen. He saw me standing in the hall and flashed me a tight smile.
“Hey.”
“Hi. Everything okay?” I asked even though I knew it wasn’t. He paused, his eyes darkening slightly.
“Everything’s great actually.”
My parents had followed him out, their faces contorted in anger.
“Did you hear the good news, Blake?” My mom asked sarcastically. “Did you tell her your idiotic plan, Grayson?”
I inhaled and looked at my brother, trying to smile at him encouragingly. He was my only sibling and I loved him. I wanted to support him, no matter how much I despised his girlfriend. In a few months, I wouldn’t have to listen to this every day anyway and if Grayson wanted to move in with Ella, more the power to him.
“Well?” Mom barked in her shrill way. “Aren’t you proud of what you’re doing?”
Grayson ignored her and grinned at me but he looked embarrassed.
“I’m getting married, Blake,” he said and I thought I’d misunderstood him.
“What? To whom?”
That wasn’t what I had meant to say obviously but it was the first thing that came out of my mouth. Grayson’s tentative smile became a scowl.
“You too? Can’t anyone in this family be happy for us?” he muttered, pushing past me to mount the stairs, taking them two at a time. The sound of the door slamming echoed through the main floor.
Mom smirked at me.
“That boy is going to ruin his life the same way I ruined mine,” she laughed and I hung my head, shamed that she would say such a cruel thing in front of my dad who was standing right there.
“Well,” Dad replied brightly. “Don’t worry, Maggie.”
I inhaled, knowing that my father was about to retort with something just as vicious. It was the same sick game they played with each other and had for as long as I could remember.
“Don’t worry?” Mom retorted. “How can I not worry, Doug? Maybe you don’t care about our son but I do and I won’t sit back and let him throw his life away.”
Through my peripheral vision I saw Dad leer and I braced myself for his response.
“We’re lucky enough to live a day and age where divorce is a viable option. Hopefully Grayson is smarter than us and will know when to walk away.”
Oh Christ.
I snuck from the foyer, leaving them both to glare at one another. I’d never have a healthy relationship, I just knew it. Not when I had a houseful of whacko role models.
2
Mal
I don’t know why I let Blake Mavis upset me. She was nothing but a stupid nerd who hadn’t even lost her virginity. She was a nobody, even if she was cuter than any of the losers I’d known.
I privately knew I only thought that because she reminded me of Britney Spears with those light brown eyes and honey-blonde hair. But she also reminded me of her brother who was all wrong for my sister.
Who would have guessed that a puppy-love high school romance would have resulted in the two staying together? I certainly didn’t see it coming any more than my parents who had tried to stop it unsuccessfully.
Ella hadn’t even gone to college, much to the chagrin of my mother who blamed Grayson entirely for that and while I wasn’t sure if that was true, it was easier to accept Mom’s position on the matter than accept that Ella just wasn’t smart enough to pursue post-secondary education.
“Before that deadbeat came along, you had a future, Ella! Now you sit at home and make Myspace videos, hoping to be discovered!” Mom howled. “You are young! You don’t need to waste your life because Grayson Mavis can’t get into college.”
“I love him,” my sister stubbornly maintained. “And if he can’t come with me to college then I’m staying here with him.”
Never had I heard anything stupider in my life, mostly because I knew Ella wasn’t getting into college anyway but I had to admit, it was interesting to see that my sister had stopped chasing after every boy who looked at her. She wasn’t the same at twenty as she had been at sixteen, something that I begrudgingly admit was Grayson’s doing.
He must have one golden cock, I mused. I couldn’t think of any other reason they had stayed together so long, not when I’d seen Ella come home after dates in tears more times than I could count.
They fought on the phone constantly and had broken up at least six times by my recollection. Yet they kept going back for more.
No thanks, I thought grimly as I made it to the car my parents had bought me as an early graduation present. You could not force me to stay in a situation like that. I’ll never make a woman cry the way Grayson does my sister. He’s such an asshole.
And so was his sister.
It had been hours since I’d run into Blake at the coffee house. I’d been to Troy Baker’s house and the library since and yet Blake’s words kept rolling around in my head like she had just said them to me.
Like Ella is the bad guy in their relationship. She might not be perfect but I doubt that Grayson comes home in tears every night.
I stopped the car in the driveway and shivered at the cold blast of air to my face.
The lights were on in the front entrance but the house was remarkably still. It instantly unnerved me.
“Hello?” I yelled. “Anyone home?”
I saw my dad’s keys on the hall table and my mom’s purse on the bench but they weren’t making a peep.
“Mom? Dad?”
I heard low voices as I sauntered further into the house, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling slightly as though I sensed danger.
“…she could be pregnant?”
“Oh my God, Victor, please don’t say that!” Mom cried. I knocked on the door to the office and both my parents straightened guiltily.
“Oh, Mal, you’re home,” Mom sighed, her body relaxing slightly.
“Who’s pregnant?” I asked nonchalantly, flopping onto a chair facing my dad’s across the desk. The exchanged a nervous look and Dad laughed shortly.
“No one…that we know of yet…”
“What are you guys talking about then?” I leaned forward and grabbed a hard candy that my father always kept on his desk. As I unwrapped it and popped it into my mouth, my mom answered.
Down the candy went, sliding into my windpipe and logging there. For several seconds, my parents mistook my choking for a look of disbelief.
“I know,” Mom sighed. “We’re as shocked as you are.”
I rose, waving my arms, wrapping my hand around my throat to indicate I couldn’t breathe. Panic began to settle in when I realized it wasn’t going down by itself.
“She is an adult, Carmen, even if we don’t want to think of her like that. We can’t make her call off the wedding any more than we could force her to stop seeing that brute.”
“She swears he doesn’t hit her, Victor but what if she’s lying? Abused women—”
I slammed both fists against the table, rattling all the contents on the surface and they turned to me angrily.
“Mal, for God’s sake— “Mom’s face shifted from annoyance to terror when she saw what was happening. “Oh my God! Victor, he’s turning blue! He’s choking!”
I saw black spots but before I could succumb to unconsciousness, my dad had scaled the desk and had his arms pressed firmly around me, his fists beneath my sternum. A few good presses later and the culprit candy flew clear across the room.
“Oh honey!” Mom sobbed, grabbing at me as Dad released me. “Are you okay?”
It took me a few seconds to collect myself but when I finally managed to speak, it wasn’t my near-death experience on my mind.
“The hell she is marrying that asshole!” I sputtered between gasps. “You can’t let her do that!”
A look of relief crossed over Mom’s face as she realized that I wasn’t dead and she sighed heavily.
“Your father is right, honey. There’s nothing we can do that we haven’t already tried. She’s twenty years old. She’s free to marry whomever she wants.”
“You’re just going to sit back and let her? Just like that?” I demanded, aghast.
“I’m paying for the wedding,” Dad answered and I felt a rush of heat burst through me. I wondered why I was so angry. It’s not like Ella and I had ever been that close, really. I still thought she was a brat and she thought she was way more mature than me. But she was still my sister and knowing that she was throwing her life away to be with someone like Grayson Mavis…
I needed to mind my own business. I knew that but I couldn’t help but hear Blake in my head again, mocking me. Idly, I realized that Blake was probably as pissed off as I was.
Wait a second…if they get married, will that make Blake and I in-laws?
I’d have to Google that. It gave me chills to think about it. As if I didn’t hate her snotty little face as it was. Now we were going to be family?
No, no way. I couldn’t let that happen. It wasn’t right.
“Mal, it’s important that we show our solidarity as a family with Ella,” Dad told me. “The Mavises are messed up. She won’t get any support from them, that’s for certain.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that but I knew he was right, even then. There was no point in giving Ella hell for making such a stupid choice. She was so naturally contrary, she’d be apt to get married just to stick it to us, even if she didn’t want to. Maybe that’s what Dad had in mind—show her unconditional support and maybe she’d come to her senses.
Reverse psychology. That might work because Ella’s still kind of a brat at heart.
“Gotcha, Dad,” I agreed. “I’ll show her nothing but my support.”
“Now go congratulate her,” Dad told me, a grunt in his voice. “Your mother and I have wedding plans to make.”
“We don’t have to include that wretched family in the planning, do we?” Mom asked, her eyes widening with worry. “I can’t spend two minutes in the room with Margaret Mavis before wanting to scratch my own ears out. Her voice reminds me of nails on a chalkboard.”
“I don’t think we can exclude them entirely, Carm. I mean…”
I left my parents to discuss the Mavises and went to find my sister who was in her room, staring at her reflection in the glass. I had to pause for a second and stare at her because in that minute, she looked so happy.
Her grey eyes were glowing and she smiled at herself as she brushed her dark hair. I strained when I heard her humming lightly to herself. Whatever I thought about the impending union, it was ultimately her choice. That didn’t mean I had to like it but I knew I needed to accept it and really, when had Ella ever looked so content?
What does it matter? You’re going to be long gone in September. You won’t see her except at holidays now. They can have whatever drama they’re making for themselves.
The thought made me sad for some reason, like it hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that I wouldn’t see my family but sporadically. Until learning how dysfunctional the Mavises were, Doug and Maggie always fighting, their kids antisocial, I’d never realized how good I had it with my own family.
“Are you spying on me, Mal?”
I started at the sound of Ella’s voice and blinked. I must have slipped into a reverie.
“Like you’re that interesting,” I retorted. “I heard you’re getting hitched.”
She gazed at me from the vanity and I could see her eyes shadow.
“So what if I am?” she asked tensely. “You got something to say about it?”
I shrugged and moved into the room even though I hadn’t been invited. I plopped onto her bed unceremoniously and studied her face for a minute.
“Congrats?” I said, intentionally making it a question. The corners of her mouth turned in.
“Thanks.”
“You sure about this?”
“I don’t want to fight with you too, Mal.”
“I’m not fighting with you. I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing.” I had already forgotten my vow to join my parents in accepting in their resignation.
“Obviously I know what I’m doing. You’re too young to understand, Mal,” Ella sighed. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in love.”
“You were younger than me when you hooked up with this jackass,” I reminded her and her frown only deepened.
“Don’t talk about Gray that way. He’s got his flaws for sure but we all do. You don’t know him. You haven’t made the effort to get to know him.”
“I know his sister is a bitch,” I volunteered.
Where did that come from? Why am I bring up Blake right now?
“Maybe she thinks you’re an asshole,” Ella retorted. “Banging half the cheerleading squad and never calling them again?”
I was immediately defensive.
“It wasn’t half of them…” I muttered, hearing how lame it sounded as I spoke.
“My point, brother, is that you’ll know love when you find it and you’ll be willing to overlook all the other person’s imperfections because you just complete one another. You’re not there yet but Gray and I have found it with each other.”
I opened my mouth to argue again but promptly shut it. There was sincerely no point in wasting my breath.
“Mal, don’t look at me like that. We’re going to have a nice wedding—Daddy said he’d take care of it. Grayson might even ask you to be in the wedding party.”
I scoffed but quickly shut my mouth again.
“Come on, Mal. You’re supposed to be my brother and support me.”
“I do,” I mumbled reluctantly. “And I’m happy for you.”
There was no sincerity in my tone but at least I mustered the words. I could see she appreciated the effort.
“Now get out of my room,” Ella concluded. “And never spy on me again.”
I snickered.
“I told you—there’s nothing interesting going on with you. Like ever.”
She laughed and whipped a makeup sponge at me.
I paused at the doorway and looked at her.
“What?” She demanded.
“So…if you marry Grayson—”
“You mean when I marry Grayson,” sh
e interrupted, exasperated.
“Right. When you marry Grayson…” I stopped, suddenly realizing what I was about to ask and I felt my ears burning with humiliation.
What is wrong with you? Why do you care so much that you’re thinking this twice in one day?
“I’m waiting!” Ella called in a singsong voice. “What about when I marry Grayson?”
“Nothing,” I replied quickly, rushing away before she could see the tinge of my cheeks. I felt like an idiot.
But I couldn’t stop wondering how close in relations Blake Mavis and I would be once they got married.
It’s because the idea makes you sick, I told myself but deep, deep, deep down, I knew that I found Blake cute and I didn’t want to be fantasizing about any of my kin.
I shuddered at the thought.
That choking incident deprived your brain of oxygen for too long. You have brain damage, I decided and that was how I left it.
3
Blake
Eleven Years Ago
I didn’t want to admit it but I found the entire college experience overwhelming. My expectations were that once I landed at Berkeley, I’d be off and running but I found myself more jogging around in circles.
Didn’t I just pass this building? Is this map purposely trying to mess with my head?
I was staying in residence for the first year but I had already started seeking out leads for a house for the second year. I could tell I wasn’t going to fare well inside the dorms. It reminded me too much of home already with the noise and fighting, even if it was done in banter. I wanted some peace and quiet, something I could only find in the corner of my room, with my earbuds in. That wasn’t what I was looking for.
Even still, I forced myself to ignore the outside noise that I’d been trained to do for so long. My parents’ endless bickering had taught me well after all. I could get through my first year—I was halfway there anyway.
I’d been home and back for Christmas break, an awkward affair since Gray hadn’t been there. He’d been invited to the Laurier’s for dinner and while we had too, my parents steadfastly refused “to have anything to do with those people.”
