by BLMorticia
“That’s not what we’re paying you for.” Kao slipped out of his shoes and popped his feet on the table. “You’re my bodyguard.”
“Yes, I know.”
“And I want you to guard my body.”
Brody snorted. “I am. I’m here aren’t I?”
“You are. Care to guard me more by joining me in my bedroom?”
Brody blew out a breath, eyeing Kao who appeared completely serious. He gulped hard and shook his head, not wanting to think of what he’d proposed.
“My job as a bodyguard doesn’t include being your entertainment.” Brody got up and forced himself to walk towards the guest bedroom far away from where Kao was sitting.
“So, you’re turning me down?”
Brody nodded and didn’t face him. “Yes I am. Goodnight and thanks for the drink.” He continued to walk and closed the door behind him. He leaned on the door, willing himself to calm down.
For fuck sake the man was attractive and so damn forward.
Although, it made Brody hard as nails, now was not the time to get involved. Not when someone’s main purpose was hurting Kao.
Chapter Nine
In the couple of weeks that followed, Kao and Brody got along great.
Most of the time.
With Kao basically working from his place, there weren’t any more incidents. Apparently, the crooks got the message that Brody wasn’t leaving Kao’s side. Perhaps that would be enough for them to step off for good, but Kao wasn’t taking any chances.
As Kao suspected, the reports the police pulled up on Gaia and Lawrence were clear. Brody refused to lay off Lawrence though which did nothing but irritate his manager.
Many times, Lawrence threatened to take Brody off the assignment and Kao shot it down, saying they’d have to get used to someone else. Kao didn’t want that because his current guard already intrigued him.
So much so, Kao was about ready to grab the man and jump on his dick immediately.
Usually Brody would retreat to his room after dinner. The nights he didn’t, they enjoyed a late night drink and talked about everything other than the feelings between them. Though Kao understood why, it didn’t stop him from desiring Brody. In his mind, because the sparks were flying, they could make things happen without losing focus.
At the end of the second week, Kao and Brody attended the high profile hip-hopper’s party.
Despite Kao getting his car, Brody still hired a limo to take them. Good thing Kao supposed since having Brody alone was too much of a temptation.
Lawrence also tagged along to make connections, promising to stay away from Brody to keep the peace.
For Kao it was a dream come true seeing so many celebrities compliment him and ask to work on future projects. Fortunately, he stuck to his guns, because if he hadn’t, he would have missed out on so many opportunities.
“Wow, that was…” Kao loosened his tie and tugged it from around his neck.
“Amazing right?” Lawrence followed him in, smiling from ear to ear. “Your working calendar is going to be off the charts next year.”
“Yep. Damn, Lawrence, that was incredible. I actually got compliments from people I freaking worship. Do you hear me?” Kao clasped both of Lawrence’s cheeks and squeezed.
Lawrence chuckled. “Yeah, it was great.” He slapped his hands and stepped back. “Thanks for convincing Maestro to let me tag along.”
“Of course. Who else was gonna keep up with all the requests and compliments? Hearing Delia Johns say she’s played my album on repeat was like, oh fuck! Incredible!” Kao burst with pride.
“For real, man. Congratulations.”
“Yeah, congrats. You were a big hit.” Brody said, coming in the door and walking past the two of them onto the living room.
Kao looked past Lawrence and eyed him sitting on the couch.
Brody was dressed in a grey suit with a blue tie that matched his eyes. His hair was redder than usual as was his facial hair.
Hot ginger!
Kao nibbled on his lip, thinking back to the moments earlier at the party when their eyes met. It took everything in Kao not to run to Brody and kiss him until he was breathless.
Lawrence clearing his throat woke Kao from his daze.
“Uh, all right man, I’m gonna take off. See you in a couple of days for the MTV interview.”
“For sure dude, thanks.” They slapped hands and Lawrence left without saying anything else.
Kao unbuttoned his shirt as he strolled to where Brody sat, thumbing through his phone. He smacked Brody’s shoulder with the end of his tie. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
“Aw nothing. Tired, that’s all.”
“Ah. So… no celebratory drink for us?”
Brody looked up from his cellphone. His light blue eyes met Kao’s gaze drawing him in. “I suppose one couldn’t hurt. Lemme go change out of the monkey suit.” He got up and walked to the guest bedroom.
“I’m changing too. I’ll meet you here in a few.” Kao called out.
“Okay.” Brody answered, sounding deadpan.
Kao smirked to himself, sauntering to his room and closing the door behind him. After shedding his clothes, he threw on a pair of shorts and an old EXO t-shirt he’d gotten as a gift.
And, although Kao hadn’t showered since before the party, he dabbed a little cologne in hopes of luring Brody closer to him.
Once Kao checked his look in the mirror, he ambled to the living room.
Brody was back in the same spot, wearing black basketball shorts and a Duke t-shirt. Though the shorts reached his knees, they showed enough skin to make Kao feverish.
Shit.
Kao gulped hard and kept on to the wet bar. “So, um… did you enjoy the party?”
“Yeah. I don’t get Hollywood types, but whatever.”
Kao was about to open the Jack and stopped. “Jack okay with you?”
Brody eyed him from where he sat. “Yeah. Perfect.”
Kao continued pouring the contents into the glasses. After dropping an ice cube into both, he ambled to where Brody was and handed him a drink.
Brody looked up and accepted. When he took it from Kao, their fingers brushed in the exchange, making Brody look away quickly without a word.
Fuck.
Even that small gesture made Kao hard under his shorts. His skin tingled, overheating under the fabric. With no sex since he’d left South Korea, Kao’s senses heightened. So much so he could barely focus. He had to discuss the feeling between them tonight.
“Brody…” Kao said breathless, then gulped a good amount of his beverage.
Brody kept his gaze on the floor. “I know what’cha gonna say.”
“You do?” Kao continued to stand as he finished his drink. He walked back to the wet bar for a refill.
“Yeah. You wanna talk about this tit for tat between us.”
“Sure, the hell, do.” Kao said while mixing his Jack and Coke with his finger.
“I can’t, Kao. I like you… but I work for you.”
“Uh huh.”
“And other than the professional relationship boundary that can’t be crossed, you drive me crazy.”
“How?” Kao snorted as he made his way back to where Brody was. Although part of him wanted to sit on the side of him, the other thought better of it and fell back in the recliner across from him instead. He dragged his sweaty palms over his shorts and crossed his legs to relieve pressure on his groin. This exercise in restraint was getting the best of him.
“Well, you’re a moody son of a bitch. Sometimes you can be the sweetest guy and other times, I wanna drop tackle you for arguing with me.” Brody still hadn’t looked up.
“Just because I want you to listen to me, I’m moody?”
“I do listen.”
“Not always. When you start throwing your weight around, I gotta fight back. If you didn’t notice, Brody, I like being in charge.”
Brody took another sip from his tumbler. “To an extent.”
“Fuck you.” Kao spat, swishing the ice around in his glass.
“See? What did I say wrong now?”
“When have you known me to let up on control, other than when I felt we had to just a couple of weeks ago.”
“Well, you relented to Gaia to do another interview right before this party. And at the last shindig, you did an impromptu performance.”
“Because Zania Lane asked me to. She’s only the biggest R&B star outside of Beyonce.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?” Kao pushed his hand through his now maroon locks. His hair was beginning to grow to his shoulders, but he refused to cut it. “You still don’t get that I got a career.”
“I don’t, but you forget you’re still in danger. The messages to your Korean phone have amped up in the last week or so. Seems like the video made these fools hungrier.”
“Seems that way, but there isn’t much I can do. Now that my promo schedule is pretty much done, I’m gonna lay low as you said, which is a prime opportunity for us to explore what we can be to each other.”
Brody chuckled and finally eyed Kao. He shook his head, apparently in disbelief. “There you go again! Changing the fucking subject. You went from telling me to fuck off to wanting to fuck me, again.”
“Oh, shut the hell up and cut me some slack! I’ve got scars, Brody and they run deep.”
“Really? Are you butthurt about the crazy fans or still smarting about how you didn’t get your way when you were in SK4? Not being able to be out, I get, but why else do you feel a need to snap off on me?”
Brody’s mocking didn’t sit well with Kao. Why did this man think his concerns weren’t valid?
Right then, Kao thought of the last conversation he had with his former bandmate.
*
“You won’t succeed on your own. You’re nothing without us!” BJ shouted in their native language as Kao packed his bags. “And you’re trying to make it solo in America? Ha! Good luck with that!”
Kao continued shoving clothes into his suitcase. BJ was the third and final member of SK4 to come in and say he was making a mistake. Although the choice words in Korean stung, Kao had learned to block them out. He had to get away from the craziness or else he would end up another statistic.
Don’t wanna end up like my brother!
At that moment, Kao teared up, thinking of his best friend I-Juice who’d ended his life just before Kao was drafted into military service. He had to carry the burden of dealing with his best friend’s suicide on his back while he trained for duty to his country.
He couldn’t even attend the funeral.
What kind of friend was he?
From that point on, Kao knew this life of jam packed schedules and being mobbed by crazed fans was no longer for him.
“Do you hear me, K? Why the hell are you abandoning us? We have a good thing going here?”
“Had, you mean. We’re old! Although plenty of bands stay together after they’ve fulfilled their military duty, they lose popularity. We won’t be relevant anymore, BJ! There’s a hundred million KPOP bands out there, ready to take the top spot! IWON, BRKBOY, and DC20 just to name a few. They’re younger and hungrier, BJ. We’re yesterday’s news!”
“Not if we stay together, K! We’ve got tons of songs to write, fans to see…”
Fans.
Yes, those fans were great unless they turned out to be sasaengs. Some of the most rabid fans of KPOP who made the stars’ lives miserable.
Not bothering to wipe the moisture from his eyes, Kao continued getting his things together. He eyed the gorgeous panoramic view, knowing he’d have that again, but on his own terms in Los Angeles. No more early morning calls for photo shoots, no staff members picking and prodding on his face for every single live appearance.
Kao wished to control his own destiny. Yes, he was terrified no one would like his new direction, but deep inside he didn’t care. At least he’d be writing the songs about falling in love with men and not the recycled heterosexual garbage they wanted him to sing. The greatness of being a KPOP idol only went so far.
Kao was ready for a change.
“Kao?” BJ’s voice sounded softer this time. “Please don’t leave. I know you’re hurt we never got together —”
Kao stopped what he was doing and sighed aloud. He moistened his lips and pushed his hand through his orange hair. “You silly, boy. You think you’re the reason I’m leaving?”
“Yeah.” BJ smirked and folded his arms. “What else could it be? Other than your wanting to hog the stage to yourself.”
“That might be true. It’s just time, dammit.”
“Hey c’mon, man. We could still do the fanservice if you want. I’ll even let you sleep with me. Just stay with us. Please?”
Kao glared at him, slamming his suitcase shut. “Newsflash for you, BJ, I don’t want you or your fanservice. Go find someone else to play around with. DO wouldn’t mind, I’m sure.”
“Fuck you, Kao. You’re just jealous!” BJ frowned and waved his hand. “You always were, especially after that night —”
“Don’t!” Kao held his hand up and grabbed his bag.
“Don’t what?” BJ said, stepping closer.
Kao couldn’t decide if he wanted to kiss or smack the smirk off those pouty lips. BJ had always been the prettiest member of the band, but his overconfidence tainted his beauty. Fans never saw that side of him, thinking BJ was squeaky clean. No one knew he was a homophobic backstabber like Kao did.
“Don’t push me. I’m leaving this place, this life because I need to for my mental health.”
“Aiisshhh. Please! Cut that shit right now. Nothings’ wrong with you!”
*
“Nothing’s wrong with me, huh?” Kao dumped the drink down his throat and held the glass over his head, wanting to break it. Instead, he slammed it down on the table next to him, prompting Brody to snap his head up.
“You don’t know me, Brody Macguire. You only know what you’ve read.”
“Well, share it with me.” He leaned back and opened his legs wider, giving Kao a great view of the tent in his shorts.
Kao moistened his lips and propped his hands on the arm rests to lift. He slid his legs under his buttocks and sat. That position was the most comfortable and was a proven way to relieve pressure on his cock.
The way Kao was feeling, he might tackle Brody before his guard had the chance.
“Other than the fans, the pressure to be best, I…” Kao lowered his head. His throat tightened at the thought of talking about I-Juice. He sighed aloud and clasped his hands in his lap. “A good friend of mine committed suicide.”
Brody’s mouth fell open and he sat up. “Oh shit, Kao…”
“No, no.” Kao held up his hand because he didn’t want the word to come from anyone’s mouth. Everyone said that, but none of those sentiments would bring the first man he’d ever loved back. Kao didn’t know why I-Juice took several pills to end his life, but he had a good idea why.
How could anyone deal with all the regular pressures of being a KPOP sensation and knowing you as well as your friend would be leaving for the military?
“He took some pills… after…” Kao leaned back and covered his mouth. “After I told him I loved him. My fucking company, who knew how close we were, didn’t bother telling me he died. In fact, I found out through the papers days later while I was getting ready for military service.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.” Kao wiped the tears away and sniffed. “Brody, by that time it was too late. I couldn’t attend his funeral or anything. So many Korean stars were there. They had a procession through Seoul for him and I was stuck on the military base crying my eyes out. I couldn’t say a damn thing either, Brody, because being gay in the military will get you in huge trouble with your superiors.”
“Kao… shit… I…”
“So please, don’t tell me that I can’t be upset. I haven’t properly mourned him because every time I thought of what he did,
I blamed myself.”
“It’s not your fault, man.” Brody repeated, sounding as if he was choked up.
Kao disagreed with that statement. He sobbed harder and shook his hair from his eyes.
Damn his selfishness, his own stupid pride for fucking up a good friendship.
If Kao didn’t drop that news, I-Juice might’ve still been alive.
* * * *
After Kao went through the details of his friend’s suicide, Brody froze. The pain in Kao’s voice was so strong, he shed a few tears about the stranger he never met.
“It is.” Kao said, wiping the moisture away from his face. “I told him I loved him because I thought I should. I don’t know if he couldn’t handle it, or…” Kao placed both hands over his face.
Brody eyed him and inhaled deeply before exhaling. The guy was obviously broken up about this, as well as not being able to attend his best friend’s funeral. Add to that the pressure of being perfect, to be everyone’s sweetheart. No wonder he was a walking time bomb? Kao truly wanted control of everything, and now Brody knew why.
“Sorry.” Kao ran his hand through his hair and leaned back on the recliner’s cushion. “I need another drink.”
“No, I think you’ve had enough.” Brody walked over, then knelt in front of Kao, taking both of his hands into his own. “You’ve had four.”
“It’ll be my last one. Besides, what difference does it make? Other than my video shoot, I won’t appear anywhere for the next four weeks.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the point. Alcohol isn’t the solution, man. I don’t want you to drown yourself in liquor.”
“Why not? It makes me feel better.” Kao’s brown gaze met Brody’s, pleading for him to let up. Despite the streaked eyeliner and mascara that made Kao appear sexy and vulnerable, Brody wouldn’t relent because he had a secret of his own.
“Maybe in the short term, but it can become a problem.” Brody leaned his head in Kao’s lap, then rose again. “C’mon to the couch and I’ll tell you my own tragedy.” Brody rose to his feet and held out his hand.
