Chapter 16
January 1903
Victoria was lounging on the sofa in front of the fireplace in the parlor when Miss Jenny entered the room holding a telegram. Victoria had not realized that there had been a knock on the door. Miss Jenny handed it to her and went to leave.
“Please stay. Whatever it is, it affects all of us.”
“Thank you, Miss Victoria.”
Victoria decided it was best to read it out loud.
“Victoria. My return delayed. Sister died. Rockford.”
“That is so awful, Miss Victoria. At least he was able to see her before it happened. I know he was delighted to go for a visit.”
“Yes he was Miss Jenny. I will need to head out to the home and inform the others. They will want to know.”
“When is Mr. Henry returning?”
“I do not know. When he does, he will be moving into one of the rooms at the home.”
“What has changed?”
Victoria did not know how to reply. She was too embarrassed to say what she allowed to happen. Ashamed of how little control she had. Miss Jenny was looking at her waiting for a reply. It was not a demanding look, but one of concern.
“I will not judge you Miss Victoria. We all make mistakes. Our sins are forgiven. That is why our Savior died for us.”
Tears fell down Victoria's cheeks, but she did not wipe them away. Miss Jenny embraced her with a hug for just a brief moment, stood, and left the room in silence. She returned just moments later with her hat firmly in place, jacket securely buttoned and a small basket filled with baked goods.
“Miss Victoria our talk can wait for another time. It is best that we head to the home and let the others know. We do not wish to be out late. It will be quite chilly once the sun sets.”
Victoria stood and smiled at Miss Jenny. Her charming ways always brightened her spirits. Without a word, Victoria left the room and gathered her own hat and jacket. Victoria prayed that Uncle Rock was doing well and that the death of his sister was not overwhelming him as they walked in silence the two miles to the home. She missed him more than she thought possible, even more so now that his return date was unknown. The house was sure to be lonely at night, but she could not with good conscious have Henry or Joseph stay there now that Uncle Rock was not returning for a while.
There were many business issues that she would now have to address on her own. She had delayed talking with some of the investors in hopes of Uncle Rock's return in the New Year. The financing for the next phase was needed and she would have to begin scheduling meetings and securing the funds. Without the Lord's guidance and the generous giving they would not be able to proceed and the whole project could be in jeopardy. At that thought she frowned since she did not want to be the reason that these special people would be out of a home.
Miss Jenny took hold of Victoria's hand and gave a squeeze along with a bright smile. Victoria squeezed back accepting the unspoken gesture of support. Moments later, the houses came into view along with Joseph talking with Ada on the front porch of the main house.
Joseph turned the moment he heard the footsteps. He finished his conversation with Ada and then rushed to see Victoria and Miss Jenny.
“What do I owe this pleasure?”
Victoria's breathing became labored. Miss Jenny took hold of Victoria's hand and led her around Joseph and into the main house with out a word. Joseph followed with a puzzled look on his face.
Victoria began to cry again. Joseph wrapped his arm around her and guided her to a nearby chair. Once she composed herself, she took out the telegram and handed it to him. He read it yet was puzzled by how upset Victoria was.
“Is there something that I am missing?”
“Joseph, I believe Miss Victoria is concerned about living alone and having the weight of the business resting on her shoulders. We do not know when Uncle Rock will be returning. I am aware that finances are low.”
Victoria nodded in agreement.
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing that you are not already doing Joseph. It is kind of you to offer.” Victoria stated through sniffles. Joseph pulled out his handkerchief and passed it to her.
“I can do more. I can be there when you need to meet with the investors.”
“I cannot ask you to do more.”
“You are not asking. I insist. I am invested in this project. The residents have become like family. I do not want to see anything happen to them.”
“I will think about it.”
“I will follow up with you in a few days. You do not have to do this alone.”
“Miss Victoria, I can move in if you like. I will take Henry's room.”
“That is a wonderful idea, Miss Jenny,” stated Joseph. He stood and walked to the kitchen, grabbed three cups, the pot of coffee and brought them back to the table.
“Miss Jenny I see you brought us some treats. It is greatly appreciated. After we have ourselves a light snack, I will hitch up the horse and carriage and bring you ladies home. I would like to stay for the evening meal if you do not mind Miss Jenny.”
“I do not mind, Mr. Holmes.”
“Please call me Joseph.”
“Yes, sir. Mr. Joseph.”
/ / /
As he approached Mr. Rockford's house Henry smiled, took out his key, and let himself in. He heard laughter from the kitchen as he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. He dropped his bag louder than he intended to when he saw how his bedroom had been transformed. There were flowers on the nightstand, a pastel colored quilt on the bed, and lace lined curtains on the window. There were several boxes along one wall.
Upon hearing the noise, Joseph, Victoria and Miss Jenny rushed toward the bedroom. They all smiled when Henry turned around with shock on his face.
“Welcome back Henry,” stated Joseph with a bit of anger he did not realize was still there. He thought a few days would have been enough to get over his hurt and jealousy.
“Mr. Henry, I took the liberty of packing your belongings along with Mr. Joseph's. I moved in earlier today.”
“You are throwing me out, Victoria. What about us?”
Victoria blushed. She thought they came to an understanding before she left even though she had done most of the talking, expressing her desire not to move forward with a relationship with anyone until her divorce was final. Henry must have held onto the hope that they would go back to the way things were before they left. It would never be the same again. Victoria walked away and straight into Mr. Rockford's study. She located the telegram that was sent earlier that day lying neatly on top of the desk, walked back to the others, and passed the telegram to Henry. He read in silence.
“Forgive me, Victoria. Joseph is there a place for me to stay at the home?”
“You can stay in the main house with me. I will explain everything later tonight.”
The four walked back to the kitchen in silence. Miss Jenny took out another plate and glass for Henry and they continued their evening meal with light chatter. Even though they took their time eating, Joseph and Henry left shortly after, riding home in silence with the wagon loaded down with their few belongings.
Joseph prayed a quick, silent pray as they approached the home. He could not keep his silence much longer and would need to have a discussion with Henry. How would they manage to work together when they were both in love with the same woman? Lord, give me guidance and peace. Henry is my cousin, my family. I want to forgive him. I want to punch him in the face. I am a mixture of emotions. Help me.
After the last box was brought into the home, Henry broke the silence.
“I am sorry Joseph. Please forgive me.”
Joseph stood stone-faced, staring through Henry.
“I know you think of me as a ladies man.”
Joseph did not blink.
“I have never been with a woman before.”
A look of disbelief crossed Joseph's face.
“As God as my witness, the incident with
Victoria was the first time I have even kissed a woman like that.”
Joseph smiled reflecting back to the opening of the home when Victoria passionately kissed him under the trees.
“She does have a way about her.”
“That she does. Please forgive me Joseph.”
“You are forgiven, Henry. Did you actually think you would just be able to return as if nothing happened?”
Henry shrugged.
“Go get yourself settled. We will talk later.”
Henry went to his new room without a word.
/ / /
“I cannot believe that Henry thought we could go back to the way things were.”
Victoria continued to pace in the parlor in front of the blazing fireplace. Anger shown on her face yet her eyes glistened with tears.
“Why not?” Miss Jenny asked matter of fact.
Victoria paused briefly in her pacing and blushed slightly as a single tear escaped.
“Because it is too late, too much has happened.” Victoria voice bellowed through the room.
“It is never too late.” Miss Jenny stood and gazed out the window looking up at the stars.
“You do not understand Miss Jenny.” Victoria voice went soft and sorrowfully.
“I understand that all things are possible with the Lord.” Miss Jenny continued to look up at the stars.
“Not now Miss Jenny. I have a headache. I will be in my room if you need me.”
Victoria quickly fled without allowing Miss Jenny to reply. She was struggling with her faith ever since the kiss. She had hoped to talk with Uncle Rock but now she would have to figure it out on her own.
Miss Jenny continued to look out the window until she heard the door close to Victoria's room. She then pulled the curtains closed, extinguished the fire and made her way to the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea. Miss Jenny placed the tea on a tray along with a small plate of sliced cinnamon raisin bread, placed the tray on the floor next to Victoria's door, knocked once, and went to her new room.
Hours later Victoria opened up her bedroom door and gasped as she nearly stepped on the tray. She had forgotten that Miss Jenny had knocked on her door. Picking up the tray, she carried it to the parlor and placed it on a nearby table. After lighting one candle not wanting to wake Miss Jenny with the overhead light, she picked up Uncle Rock's worn black leather bible and sat comfortably in his chair. Not knowing where to begin she thumbed through the pages and then began reading.
“The transgression of the wicked saith within my heart, that there is no fear of God before his eyes. For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful. The words of his mouth are iniquity and deceit: he hath left off to be wise, and to do good. He deviseth mischief upon his bed; he setteth himself in a way that is not good; he abhorreth not evil. Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast. How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures. For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light. O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart. Let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked remove me. There are the workers of iniquity fallen: they are cast down, and shall not be able to rise.” (Psalm 36)
Victoria pondered the passage for several minutes before standing and pacing around the room. After pacing for what felt like half an hour, she grew weary and dropped back into the chair. Not knowing what else to do she bowed her head and began to pray.
“Heavenly Father, I am trying to put my trust in you. I want to be in the shadow of your wings, in your loving embrace and protection. I love both of them Lord, but in different ways. I know I have no right to move on yet. I know I am still married. Not for long though. Well, you already know that. Help me to see your light and shower me with your loving-kindness. Watch over Uncle Rock and his family. I know I am being a bit selfish, but I want him back. I miss him so much. It is as if I have lost my father all over again. How do I cope with that? How do I run this home and manage all of the finances. I cannot do it alone Lord. I need help.”
Tears streamed down Victoria's face as she wrapped her arms around herself. Sleep claimed her minutes later.
A knock at the front door startled Victoria awake. She held her hand to her chest in an effort to calm her breathing. It took a moment for her to realize that she was still in the parlor and that the sun had not risen yet. A large quilt was draped over her and a small glass of water rested on the nearby table. Uncle Rock's bible lay open on the floor next to her to the passage she had read the night before. Before she could stand, she heard footsteps in the hallway, the door open, mumbled conversation, and then the door close. Victoria closed her eyes in relief. She was certain that she did not look presentable. Thankfully, it was only someone delivering a message. Upon this realization, Victoria flew out of the room in search of Miss Jenny.
Miss Jenny was in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of steaming aromatic coffee.
“Miss Jenny, who was at the door?”
“I did not realize you were awake, Miss Victoria.” Miss Jenny pulled a note from her pocket and passed it to her. “It was a delivery boy. He brought you a telegram.”
Victoria slowly sat down at the kitchen table and her hands began to shake. She feared Uncle Rock was not returning. Why else would someone send her a telegram?
“Would you like me to read it to you?”
“Yes please.” Victoria handed the telegram back to Miss Jenny.
“Victoria, Lawrence remarried. Adopted girl. Mother lives in Sunder. Holmes.”
Victoria began to cry at the news. She was happy and sad. She was free to marry since Lawrence took care of filing the divorce. Gloria was with her father and her mother would be there for her daughter.
“I thought you would be happy Miss Victoria.”
“I am happy Miss Jenny. I am also sad.”
“Why sad. You are free to marry. Mr. Lawrence has moved on with his life. This must be how God planned it. You can be with Joseph now and start a family.”
Victoria began to cry uncontrollably. Her thoughts began to torture her. How could she have ever given up her child? There was no going back. Lawrence moved on without her. She was not meant to be a wife and have a family. Her mother would be there for Lawrence, their child, and his new wife. She would not ever be there for her. She could never have that life. Who would want a flight risk, someone who could not bond with her own daughter?
Miss Jenny, not knowing how to console Miss Victoria, quickly left the room to don her coat, hat and gloves. She rushed outside without a word, saddled the horse, and trotted down the lane to the home.
Joseph and Henry were enjoying a quiet moment in the kitchen of the main home drinking coffee when they heard a horse approaching. Before they could make it outside, Miss Jenny was letting herself in.
“Victoria is upset. She needs help.”
“I think you should go, Joseph.”
“No Henry, it needs to be you,” stated Miss Jenny matter of fact with hands resting on her hips. “Take the horse. Joseph can bring me back in the carriage later. The door is open.”
Joseph nodded his approval and Henry rushed to his room for his outerwear. He left without saying a word.
Victoria's Family Page 15
