by Kallie Frost
I quickly excused myself and hurried into the bathroom. As I waited for the water to warm up, not that it would matter, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Hickeys. Honest-to-God hickeys. There were also fingernail scratches down my chest and on one arm. In several spots the hickeys looked more like bruises from being bitten. My hair was a mess and I looked... I looked like some horrific cross between a guy pushing fifty, who stayed up too late, and a teenager with an overly aggressive boyfriend.
Boyfriend. That certainly didn't work, not for the sort of relationship he wanted. What would I even call him? Husband? Partner? He seemed to be fond of the term mate. Which I found appropriate for a couple of wolves.
Whoa, whoa! Why the hell was I even thinking that? Granted, I tended to rush into things, but this was different. I could be a little hot-headed, but never with relationships. And this was no mere relationship. Maybe it was the pressure of knowing there were only a couple of days to decide. Or was I making my decision based on the fear of having my memory erased? Or maybe there was something more... maybe this really was too good to be true. It was usually vampire movies where they seduced a person and then turned them into monsters, but couldn't that be something shifters did? I didn't exactly know anything about them, other than what Carrick told me.
I wanted to believe that the hunter was the wrong one. Carrick was the innocent who had been shot… right? If they could erase my memory, couldn't they manipulate what I was thinking and feeling? Could this all be some sort of seduction to turn me into a slave or a pet?
I spent so long worrying about it that the water heated up and was nearly cold again by the time I got into the shower. It worked out in the end, even as I tried to come up with reasons why I had been manipulated into having sex with him, I found myself aroused every time I thought about it. That wasn't normal, was it? I was glad the water was cold.
I got out of the shower, then quickly dressed. Carrick was leaning against the edge of my counter, nibbling on some of the leftover baked goods from his sister. The strangest urge to go kiss him overtook me and I fought it off.
“Did you make your phone calls?”
“Yeah. They were worried, and are all pretty relieved that I'm okay. I figured you probably need some time to make your decision, so unless you want to meet the family – which is really overwhelming – I told them I'd probably be staying here for a couple of days. If that's okay with you, of course.”
“Yeah… Sure.”
“And... I spoke with the Alpha Parliament. They'll be sending someone soon.”
“Okay.”
I needed to get away. I didn't know where, but I just needed to get some space between me and him. If there was any funny business going on in my head, maybe the distance would help me think clearly.
“I'm going to go get some air,” I told him. “You should probably stay here though.”
“So should you! There's a hunter out there!”
“And I'm human. He specifically told me he didn't want to hurt me. It's you he's after. Besides, we've got these wardens everywhere, I'll be fine.”
“I'm not going to lose my true mate to some hunter before I even claim him,” he snarled.
“You're not going to have a true mate if I don’t get some space to think!” I shot back.
His eyes widened in shock, then he drooped, hurt. I wanted to go to him, comfort him.
“Sorry,” I said. “I don't think I'll be in any danger, and I'm not going far, I just need to think. Hell, it's going to be sunset soon, Kessel can fly over me if he wants to.”
“I'm sorry too,” he said softly. “I've been waiting my whole life for my true mate and it's so easy to embrace it now that it has finally happened. It's hard to remember that this is all coming at you from out of nowhere. Really fast. Please, do what you need to do to think. Just please be safe.”
“I'll be fine.” I grabbed my jacket and headed out of the apartment, before I could do something ridiculous, like turn around and kiss him. I jogged down the stairs and into the parking lot.
It felt unusually cold for October, even by my standards, so I tugged my jacket on as I went. There was nobody around, except for a man on the dock by the parking lot. He was casually leaning on a piling and appeared to be watching the sun setting over the channel between us and the mainland. His back was to me, but I could see enough skin to see he was black. The hunter was white, so I ignored him and started for the sidewalk.
“Going somewhere?” the man asked. He eased himself off the piling, turned, and took a couple of steps toward me.
“Excuse me?”
He came closer. “I asked if you’re going somewhere.”
“What’s it to you?” I asked boldly.
“My job?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
To my surprise, he laughed. “I’m sorry,” he said, still chuckling. He pulled down his scarf, revealing his face. “You’re human, you can’t tell us apart yet. I’m Dev; I’m one of the wardens watching you.”
“Oh! I’m sorry for being rude. I thought...” I hesitated. I only had his word to go on. “The other one…”
“Kessel?” he asked, proving that he at least knew the name. “He’s on night duty. I’ll be swapping with him soon, in fact. Is Carrick okay?”
“Yeah… so how many wardens are watching us?”
“A few,” Dev replied vaguely. His eyes narrowed. “I’m afraid the guy who shot Carrick gave Larkin and I the slip.” He cracked his knuckles. “I’m eager to get another go at him.”
“Well, I’ll be back soon, nice to meet you.”
“You didn’t answer where you’re going. Carrick is still in there, right?” Dev groaned. “Tell me you’re not a distraction so that hot-head can go sneaking off or something.”
“No, no. I’m just out for a walk. Clearing my head and uh… well, I’ve got stuff to think about.”
Dev nodded. “Yes, I imagine you do. Carrick would make a fine mate, if you want my opinion.” Before I could reply, he continued, “Do you need me to come with you? If you can wait a few minutes, Kessel will be here.”
“Thanks. I’ll be fine. Just stay here and keep an eye on Carrick. The hunter is after him anyway,” I said.
“Will you at least tell me where you’re going? Or when you'll be back so I know when to be concerned?”
I hunched into my jacket against a sudden gust of wind. Boy, a hot cup of coffee would be nice. I was suddenly struck by inspiration. “I'm going to Felines and Fine Grinds. You know it?”
“It’s not that big an island,” he said with a smile. “That's fine, because we've got a warden there anyway. If you'll check in with him when you get there and when you leave, I’d appreciate it.”
“You got it.”
“It's getting nasty out, take my car.” He tossed me the keys before I could protest. Apparently, my hockey reflexes were coming back. I snapped out my hand and snagged the keys out of the air without thinking. Well, why not?
It wasn't that far to Cambry's place, but an icy rain started to fall halfway there. It would've been miserable being stuck outside while walking. I parked and ran in. It was only once I was inside that I realized I had no idea who the warden there was. I looked around and spotted the unmistakable hulking form of Larkin.
He nodded to me and pulled out his cell phone. He gave it a little wave, telling me he was using it to let the other warden know I had arrived safely, and then jerked his head toward the counter. Unfortunately, it was Hobie behind the counter and not Cambry.
“Brooks,” he said in surprise as I approached. I didn't realize he knew my name. He cast a glance around the shop and then leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I didn't think you'd be, you know, out and about? Considering...”
We hadn't spoken much at all; I was surprised that he seemed to know so much about my situation. In fact, I hadn't even realized he was a shifter. Carrick told me that Cambry had a lot of human employees.
“You're one of... them?�
�� I whispered. He nodded. Well, that made things a little easier. “I came to talk Cambry, is he here?”
“Yeah,” he said, raising his voice so much I nearly jumped. “Cambry's around somewhere. If you want to talk, you can meet him in the back.”
“Thanks,” I said. I looked around, expecting to see a wolf somewhere. I could only assume that he was raising his voice because Cambry was within earshot.
I went through the doors Hobie indicated into a back room. It was just a storage room, full of boxes and supplies. A rattling sound suddenly echoed and I looked all around for the source. There! The grate over an air duct was opening. A large, sleek cat slipped through, and jumped down onto a nearby box. I sighed in relief. It was just Affogato, the shop mascot. The large cat was often around, lounging on tables. He seemed to favor us when we were there and often came by for a lick of Carrick’s whipped cream.
“Hey, kitty,” I said.
He sat down and began to groom the dust from the air duct off himself.
‘What is it you want to talk about?’ Cambry's voice echoed in my head.
I spun, expecting to see a wolf behind me, but there was nothing.
‘You were already looking at me,’ he told me. I turned, shocked, and looked up at Affogato.
“Cambry?” I demanded. All this time the cat had been Cambry?
The cat inclined its head in a nod, then jumped down to the floor. I watched in fascination as he changed back into Cambry. His limbs lengthened and stretched, the fur melted back into skin... bare skin. Even so, I kept watching. He was, I supposed, handsome in his own way. But I didn't find him any more attractive than any other guy, save for Carrick. Whatever was happening to my sexual preferences, it seemed they were only expanding to include Carrick.
“I wasn't sure you’d be here,” I said. “With the hunter and everything. You know about that, right?”
“I know the gist of it. Is Carrick okay? Why you here without him?”
“He's fine,” I said. “I'm here... I don't know. There's a lot happening, and I feel kind of overwhelmed, and I wanted space to think, and thought that maybe I could talk to you... aside from the wardens you're the only other shifter I know. Plus, you’re his family.
Cambry nodded. To my relief, he fished some clothes off of a shelf and started dressing. When he was done he sat down on a box and regarded me. While I had been surprised that he was a cat, now that I knew I could almost see it in the way he moved.
“Before you barrage me with questions, I want to thank you.”
“Thank me?”
“For saving Carrick. A lot of humans would've just called 911 and let the ambulance take him or freaked out and finished the job after he turned into a wolf. Assuming they were brave enough to confront the hunter, like you did.”
“It was mostly adrenaline,” I admitted. Although, I couldn't deny the lump that even now formed in my throat remembering the sight of Carrick on the ground.
“Well, thank you anyway. He's all I’ve got.”
“What you mean by that?” I asked quickly. Carrick frequently talked about his big family. Had I just caught him in a lie? If Cambry really had been raised by Carrick's parents, as Carrick claimed, then Cambry’s statement didn't make any sense.
“Nothing, just...” he shrugged. “What is it you want to talk about?”
“Well now, I want to talk about this. I thought Carrick has a big family,” I said.
“He does.”
“How is he all you have then? Aren’t they your family too?”
He flashed me an almost bitter smile. “They are. I'm just... kind of the black sheep.”
“Why is that?”
Cambry laughed and shook his head. “Does that really matter? I assume you're here cause you’re getting cold feet with the Alpha Parliament coming down on your head.”
“I'm here because I have cold feet about everything. But I feel like hearing your problems would help.”
Cambry regarded me for a moment. Then, to my surprise, he nodded. "Okay. I don't know why it will help, but here goes.” He rubbed his hands together for a moment, with a small frown. “So, my parents died when I was a baby.”
“I thought you were supposed to be immortal.”
A dark look crossed his face. “They were killed by a hunter. You can imagine how thrilled I was to find out my cousin had just been shot by one. My mother was Carrick’s mother’s sister. My father was an alpha cat. Naturally, my aunt and uncle took me in. Carrick and I are just a couple of months apart, so I was raised right alongside him as if we were twins. Everyone else was already grown-up by the time I was adopted. I assume Carrick explained our... ages?”
“He says you’re eighty-two? I said, half-expecting him to correct me.
He nodded. “And all of my cousins except for Carrick were already over fifty when my parents died.” My eyes widened in surprise. It was one thing to be told about them being immortal, but to hear him talk about it so casually was something else. “Hell, they were all adults by the time my parents got married. I was never anything but a cousin to them. Carrick was the only one who... well I guess Sladin, but he doesn't really count. So, I've always felt like the odd one out. As far as Carrick is concerned, we’re brothers, because he never knew anything different. We actually both thought we were for a long time. It wasn't until I noticed that I was a cat and everyone else was a wolf that I started questioning things. They don't treat me any differently, but the feeling is there.” He laughed bitterly. “I know half of it’s in my head, but there you are.”
“Sounds tough,” I said.
He nodded. “Like I said, Carrick’s there, but he's really the only one... it's harder, as shifters. When we change I can't play the same way they do.” That was something I hadn’t considered. “I can't keep up with them when they run, I can't roughhouse the way they do... I can't even howl. I'm not sure how true mates of different species do it, to be honest. Can’t imagine how my parents made it work. And of course, I think there's probably some resentment over how much easier full moons are for me.”
“Why would full moons be easier for you?”
“Well, the cat is a lot easier to keep happier than the wolf. Toss a few mice, a couple of birds in the bunker with me, and the cat is happy all night. I have even woken up some mornings with a bird or a mouse still alive. The hunting instinct is there, but not like it is with the wolves. I don't even have to be in the bunker, if I don't want to be. The island isn't safe for me if one of them is out for the evening, but I can stay in the house. I could even stay in my shop if I wanted to. My cat doesn't have the urge, or the ability, to hunt humans. And since my cat is happy most nights, it's a lot easier for me in the mornings. I'm always the least beat up, if at all, out of the family. Except for anyone with a true mate. I can't imagine they don't resent me little bit. I don't even fear the full moons like they do, not completely.”
“Fear the full moons? They’re afraid they’ll attack someone?”
“They’re afraid they’ll die.”
“How? A hunter?”
“Carrick didn’t tell you?”
“I guess not.”
Cambry stretched in a shockingly catlike way and growled under his breath. “Not sure I should tell you then, although I can't imagine why he wouldn't have. There's a very high mortality rate for alphas during a full moon. Not from a hunter or anything, but from ourselves. The wolf is a pack animal and hunter. It wants to run, and it wants to hunt, and it wants to be with its pack. Unfortunately, even our little island is too small for that. With multiple alphas, it means they would attack each other. So, they all have to be kept separate in their own bunkers, but then the wolf goes little stir crazy. Sometimes they get a little too crazy and they end up hurting themselves, sometimes fatally. That's part of why we all stay on the island, if someone doesn’t turn up for breakfast – like my parents – we can immediately go looking for them. A lot of shifters are still alive when the sun rises, maybe not even that injured, but if th
ey can't get help and no one finds them in time... anyway the mortality rate is highest with the predatory pack alphas, like wolves and lions. After that it's the bigger ones, you know the bears, the tigers... Now, it's not to say that I'm not at risk, but it's much lower than the rest of them. And it's really obvious.”
I thought of how beat up and tired Carrick had been, god, just yesterday. “So, all the scratches and bites... that was from Carrick while he was shifted? He did it to himself?” Cambry nodded solemnly. “Okay then. So, he wants me to be his mate for all eternity, but any month he could die and then I’d be left alone?”
Cambry's eyes widened. “No! That idiot, I can't believe he didn't explain it all! A true mate is a lifesaver. Literally. A true mate is the one being that you won't hurt during a full moon. The one person your animal will never, ever harm. You'll spend full moons together, and even though you’re confined in a bunker without any prey, true mates keep each other happy. They play, and they cuddle, and knows what else... and they wake up perfectly happy and unharmed. Having a true mate, for an alpha, is more than just getting the love of your life and starting a family, it's lifesaving.”
“And if I say no... then he could die during any full moon?”
“Someday probably,” Camry said sadly.
“Maybe another true mate will come along before then?”
He shook his head. “We get one. Just one. I’ve heard rumors about the rare shifter who finds another… but I don’t know any personally.”
I sank down onto one of the boxes behind me. If I said no I was basically condemning him to death. The fact Carrick hadn't told me that part made it seem a little more likely that he was telling the truth about things. If he was trying to manipulate me into saying yes, wouldn't that be a good way to do it?
“Sorry you asked?” Cambry asked.
“Actually, no. I just have more to think about than I thought I did. Thank you for telling me all that stuff about you, too. That can't have been too easy.”
“Please, don't tell Carrick. I don't think any of them have any idea how I feel. It would hurt them.”
“I won't, I promise.”
