by Vesper Young
His hands continued to leisurely roam my body, cupping my sex, and feeling the mix of fluids at my center. We were lost in the sensation, minds worlds away from earlier arguments.
His body tensed for a brief moment, then relaxed. “I came in you.”
I giggled. Something about mind-melting sex made statements like I came in you inexplicably funny. “It’s not the first time,” I teased. “Don’t worry, I’m on the pill.” Although I did usually prefer doubling up.
He nuzzled my hair. “It wouldn’t be the first time the pill has failed.”
That took away a bit of my humor. Admittedly, I was more religious about the pill than I’d been a decade ago, but he wasn’t wrong. We had a son to prove it.
“Are you unhappy you came in me?” I asked, uncertainty creeping in.
His hands tightened around me, almost possessively. “Unhappy?” He barked a soft laugh. “The opposite. But I know you prefer to be careful.”
That was true. Still, something clenched in me. I’d never felt closer than when our bodies touched, but despite the shift between us, we hadn’t clarified things. If I did suddenly get pregnant, would Lucas be happy or sad? I mean, I didn’t want to be pregnant, not this second, so maybe it didn’t matter. My heart hoped he’d be happy, but my heart had a habit of being rather impulsive when it came to Lucas.
“There’s a lot going on up there,” he said, his fingers grazing my forehead. “Talk to me, babe.”
Instead of trying to articulate the tornado of thoughts, I looked into his eyes and asked, “Was this a mistake?”
He stared at me, like he could see everything underneath the question. “No, Kara, I don’t think so. What do you think?”
I sat up, twisting so I was propped up on my elbows, as if it would let me think more clearly. “I don’t think so. Or at least, I don’t want to. These past weeks have been so… so… so weird. And I know that’s my fault, because I messed up in a hundred different ways, but I’ve wanted you this whole time. But even with that, this, now, feels different. I don’t know why. I feel like I should feel like I’ve made a mistake, but at the same time, I don’t actually feel like I’ve made a mistake. If that makes sense.”
Lucas shifted, too, pressing up against the headboard. “It does. I needed time to process, and you gave me that. And I was angry. More than being angry at you, I was angry at myself. Angry I hadn’t been someone you could trust in. But I feel like these past few days, I’ve come to understand why. You’ve dealt with a lot of judgment and second-guessing, which is why right now you feel like you should second-guess yourself. But you shouldn’t. Deep down, you know what’s right. You know that this is right. This. Us.”
He reached an arm up towards me, tracing my face with his thumb.
“I’m willing to work through it, until you can trust your instincts fully. You have damn good ones. I mean, the thing you do with your tongue,” he teased.
I laughed and leaned in. “You mean this thing?”
He groaned. “Yeah, that. But also more. When you worked to remodel the Rattler. Or have to handle Ryan’s latest question. You know what to do, as long as you trust yourself.”
“Can we really do this?” I asked.
“We can.” There wasn’t a trace of doubt in his voice. “If you’re willing to try this relationship thing again with me, then I am, too.”
“I want to try. I want you, to wake up with you in the mornings and kiss you and make breakfast with you and play with Ryan with you. I want it all so badly sometimes I can’t breathe,” I confessed. “You said it twice now, so even though I think you know, I love you, too.”
Luke didn’t smile at that, didn’t tease me about my rambling. No, there was nothing but the blistering intensity in his gaze as he absorbed my words.
“I love you, too. I love you so much it scares me, yet it feels better than anything in the world. Kara, even if you didn’t say it, I’d know it because it’s in every touch of your hands, every glance when you can’t help yourself, even when you’re trying not to.” At last, he broke into a boyish grin. “But hearing you say it does make me want to do filthy, filthy things to you again.”
I grinned back, then wiggled up onto my knees, flexing slightly to bare myself for him. “Oh yeah? Then prove it.”
He lunged for me. Luke had never been one to shy from a challenge after all.
And he proved it. And proved it. And proved it until I was so sore I begged him for a break.
***
Sometime later, after what was more of a nap between rounds than anything else, we laid next to each other. We spoke about everything and nothing, rounding our way to more serious topics.
“Do you think we should wait to tell Ryan?” I asked.
“That his parents are back together?” he clarified.
I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, it’ll be a change. I don’t want him to feel displaced or abandoned. But maybe he’d feel like we kept a secret from him. Or like if you came over, he might be annoyed he has to share you with me.”
He leaned in so our foreheads were touching. “You know him best. My take is that he’s a perceptive kid. We don’t have to tell him explicitly, maybe just spend more time as a family and see how he reacts. But my gut says he’ll be happy to have us all together.”
“I think so, too,” I agreed.
“Plus, we can all move in together in a bit. Then he won’t worry about sharing me when I’m over.”
“Isn’t it a bit fast?” It didn’t feel fast. It felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime for this.
“I told you, Kara. You set the pace, and I’ll fall into step. But it’s not fast to me. I’ve known for the past decade you were the only woman I wanted to spend my life with.”
I blinked. That was like… marriage talk. And yet it so closely echoed my own thoughts. We’d technically been “back together” for a matter of hours, but I’d never had more faith that Lucas was the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.
“Hope that didn’t freak you out too much.”
I shook my head. “Not at all. In fact, I was just thinking the same thing.”
His eyes grew light with laughter. “Does that mean you’ve agreed to marry me?”
I snorted softly. “You’re gonna have to do better than that,” I scolded him.
“I’m wounded. I was under the impression it doesn’t get much better for a woman than four orgasms. Or was it five?” He tapped his chin with a long finger. Then he moved it down below, toying around my entrance. “Maybe if we go for lucky number six you’ll say yes?”
It had already been six, but I wasn’t going to admit that. I wiggled away, which wasn’t easy in a queen-size bed. “Nice try. No, you have to actually ask, middle name and all—”
“Kara Louise Iver, will you marry me?” The conversation had been playful
Okay, so he remembered my middle name. “And with a ring.”
He loosed a low chuckle then, in one smooth movement, rolled me on my back with him on top. His member pressed against my sex, taunting me even though I was currently (pleasantly) worn out.
“Is that what you want?” he asked, moving his hips slightly to give the barest hint of friction. “A big, expensive diamond ring? I’m quite rich now. Say the word and I can get one today.”
In the moment, all I felt was my growing want of him but I had a point to set straight first. “First, I don’t care about the money. Call me old-fashioned, I just think getting engaged the day we get back together is a bit too soon.”
“Technically, it’s the next day.”
I rolled my eyes. “Smartass.” It was meant to be sarcastic, but with his body rubbing against mine, slowly, teasingly, it was hard to muster any venom.
“Hmm. Alright, I guess I’ve pushed you a bit far tonight.” An instant later, Luke rolled off me, closed his eyes, and pretended to snore.
I smacked his chest. “Come back here,” I growled.
He continued to fake his snoring, though his lips curled
up.
Fuck it, if he wasn’t coming over here I was going over there.
It wasn’t proper to offer a sixth orgasm and renege.
In the end, after another minute of pretending to sleep, Lucas followed through. He was always good for his word, after all.
25. Lucas
Kara was curled up against me, her breaths slow and even. She relaxed against me. Our limbs were tangled together, her hair teasing my nose while I breathed in her scent. No woman could be more perfect.
Something deep and vital had snapped into place, something that had been missing even when things had been so good between us.
This time was for forever. Even if she was going to be picky about when I got to marry her.
And I would. She may have thought I was teasing before, and admittedly, I’d always enjoy making her wrinkle her nose and argue around my logic.
But I’d never been more serious.
We didn’t have to rush things. We could take our time, rest easy, enjoy carving out a life together. At the same time, the day I could proudly tell the world Kara Iver was my wife couldn’t come soon enough.
“I can feel you looking at me,” Kara murmured, apparently not asleep after all.
I certainly wasn’t going to apologize for savoring the moment. “You should rest,” I said instead.
She blew out a breath that, had she been a bit more awake, could have been a laugh. “It’s nice to have somebody who cares.”
The statement was soft and honest. I didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.
“Not that people don’t care. I just spend so much time in Mom Mode that it feels good to have someone check in on me.”
I made a sound of agreement. “I care very much about you. I know you need to be independent, and you’re always going to put Ryan first. But I’ll always be that person who makes sure you’re doing okay.”
She rolled over in bed, looking at me with a sleepy smile.
“What do you think our lives will be like now?”
I thought for a moment. “Pretty good. I mean, now that I’ve acquired a woman who will clean and cook for me all the time, I’ve got it made.”
Kara snorted at that. “You better rethink that before you buy a ring, bucko.”
“Nah, I know exactly who I’ll be buying a ring for. Honestly, our lives can look like anything we want. We can go anywhere, do anything. If we never wanted to work again, we could leave the Rattler behind.”
She rolled her eyes. “Neither of us is the type to sit on our asses all day. You know that.”
“I do.” I knew Kara wasn’t going to use me to live a life of leisure, but at the same time, she’d more than earned it.
We continued to lay in silence for a few more minutes.
“If I wanted to continue my interior design work, would you support me?”
In a heartbeat. “What kind of support?”
“Not financial. I don’t know, maybe help me set up a website, showcase the Rattler. Just believe in me.”
“I already believe in you. And I’ll support you going after your dreams anyway I can.” I paused. “I know you place a value in doing everything on your own, and I’m honored you’d let me be a part of your journey despite that.”
That earned a smile. “I kind of like the idea of having help. You’re right that I got used to it. And maybe back when we broke up, part of me was convinced that was the way it was supposed to be. And maybe that part hasn’t really been challenged until these past few months. But at the same time, now, I don’t feel like I’m giving up my options by asking you to help me. It feels like I made a lot of sacrifices, and maybe I didn’t have to make quite so many. And I don’t want to keep making the same mistake.”
I sat with her words for a moment. I’d caught myself thinking the same thing about Kara. And I meant what I said. It was an honor she was willing to go against the wisdom she’d lived by to let me in a bit more.
“You did sacrifice a lot. But I like to think at least some sacrifices can be temporary. You paused the interior design, and your degree, and us, but if you want them, you can take them back now.”
Kara looked at me. Her eyes shone with what could only be described as utter love, and my chest tightened in response. “I do want them back. Most of all you.”
“You have me,” I promised.
26. Kara
We took our sweet time getting dressed. Or rather, we got dressed, then undressed, then dressed again. I had no regrets. The morning was full of us laughing and tossing back plans for the next week, month, year, lifetime, with a side of cold scrambled eggs and stale muffins.
The big question of the morning was how to handle my parents. We decided that we’d take Ryan home with us. He would’ve come home today anyway, and with the roads now clear, the trip back to the city would be easy. For the rest of it, Lucas largely left it up to me and presented several options. Supporting me while trusting my judgement.
Battleplan ready, we returned to my childhood home. I informed my parents that it might be best for Ryan to spend more time at home. I wasn’t stressed for weekend shifts anymore. I wasn’t taking Ryan away from his grandparents, and emphasized that if they wanted some time with Ryan, they’d be more than welcome to visit in the city—Lucas was happy to pay for a hotel and car service if the drive was too much—but that they’d need to show they weren’t going to undermine Ryan’s real parents.
And that was exactly how I said it. I hadn’t realized until last night how often they cast themselves as his guardians. Once the words were out, I could see it clearly. As much as they loved him, things had to change. Just thinking of those changes—the three of us together, curled up with movies or video games—made the discomfort of the conversation worth it.
My mother walked off, as close to storming as she ever did, under the pretense of going to help Ryan pack. Guilt welled, and I fought against it. Lucas was right. I was not at fault in this, and it wouldn’t be forever. They needed some incentive to butt-out and see up close what our new family was made of.
My father stayed, seated at the kitchen table. The Sunday paper was neatly folded and out of the way, his cup of coffee nearly drained. He hadn’t said a word, hadn’t even made a stern, disapproving face that would cause me to roll my eyes.
Instead, he said, “You’re right. I think this might be best.”
Blow me over with a feather.
“Kara, I know we haven’t treated you fairly. I thought we were. No one wants to think they did a bad job raising their child, but I suppose we haven’t been raising you for several years.”
I nodded, stunned, while he stood.
“Your mother will come around. And we may have been judgmental when it came to your young man. I’ve seen how he looks at your and Ryan, and it’s like he’s got the whole world and can’t believe it. Gloria will see that too. You have a way of understanding people, and I don’t think we’ve put enough faith in that.”
He pressed his lips to my temple, like I was a kid again. “Besides, I think I’d like to spend more time in the city. Nothing ever changes around here.”
He went off, steady footsteps winding around the house until they were thudding up the staircase. Lucas was by my side a moment later, question on his face.
“Pinch me.”
Lucas, always happy to help, reached around and pinched my ass. I shot him a look, hoping it covered the rising blush.
“Perv,” I muttered.
“Only for you,” he promised. “What did he say?”
“He actually apologized. I mean, not a full apology. Just said he may have been harsh in his initial judgments and that you seem like a good man. He claimed I’m a good judge of character, which I didn’t think had ever crossed his mind before.”
“It’s a start.”
“It’s more progress than I’ve had in years.” And though Lucas may not have realized it, he was a large part of why I finally had the courage to tell them what I should’ve months ago.<
br />
Ryan bounded down the stairs a moment later, dropping his suitcase on the kitchen tile and giving me a big hug. Lucas didn’t hesitate to join in, binding us together.
We were together. We were going to head home as a family, without secrets or hesitation. And nothing could’ve been more perfect.
Epilogue
Kara
The winter months had fallen away until it was finally June. We’d decided to wait to move in until Ryan finished school for the year, though since Luke stayed over in our cramped apartment almost every night, this hardly seemed much different.
Any worries I’d created about how Ryan would handle having his parents under one roof were evaporated. In hindsight, they’d been pretty groundless. Ryan loved having us together, even if he’d reached the “kissing is gross” phase which meant more than a few stolen kisses were met with an, “Ewww.”
Waiting ‘til June did mean we were moving in the midst of the summer heat. We’d finally gotten all the boxes in, which meant it was time to unpack. Since Luke’s place had plenty of room, we’d decided to stick with his place rather than somewhere new. Not that it made much of a difference, seeing as how he’d hardly unpacked from his first move.
Today was our opportunity to make headway. Deacon had rather graciously offered to watch Ryan with Mindy. I suspected he had his ulterior motives but didn’t object. Ryan was a pretty solid kid to use for parenting trial runs. In any case, I was grateful to have some hours dedicated to getting the apartment ready.
While Lucas tackled the new Ikea acquisitions—I hadn’t been willing to test our relationship by us both trying to assemble them—I made my way through boxes. I’d unpacked the essentials. Now, I wandered through the apartment, curious about the untouched cardboard boxes descriptively labeled “Stuff.”
