by Dani Collins
“I never promised you that.” He didn’t shout it, but it struck like a sonic boom she felt with her heart.
“No,” she agreed with growing drowsiness. “No, you said it was only going to be an affair and I believed you. But you made me fall in love with you.” She blinked heavy lids over wet eyes. “That’s on you, Luca.”
* * *
Amy woke in Luca’s stateroom several hours later. She wondered if he had carried her here or had one of his bodyguards do it. Whoever it was had removed her shoes and draped a light blanket over her.
She finger-combed her hair and used the toothbrush that had been designated hers when they’d embarked from Vallia, back when she and Luca had been in perfect sync and she’d believed...
She clenched her eyes. Had she really believed they had a chance at a future? Come on, Amy. You’re smarter than that.
Wrinkled and fuzzy-headed, she crept back to her seat.
Luca was reclined in his seat and fast asleep. Her heart wrenched to see him there when he could have slept beside her in his own bed. If he had wanted to send the message that she would no longer wake to the sight of him sleeping beside her, this was it.
A flight attendant started to approach, and Amy waved her off. She should eat something so she didn’t get air sick, but she was too anguished.
She turned on her phone and was tempted to turn it right back off again, but made herself go through some of the messages, looking for...
Her heart lurched as she picked up a reply to her SOS. One of her clients, Baz Rivets, was sober a year now, but had had addiction problems from the time she’d met him at one of his early pub gigs through to the international fame he and his rock band enjoyed today. She’d been beside him every time he’d gone in or come out of a program and regarded him as a friend, but she would never have expected him to go out of his way for her.
I thought I’d have to go back to rehab to see you again. We’re detouring to Athens from Berlin. Will wait for you there, ducky.
It was enormously heartening, but also like hearing she could have lifesaving surgery on condition half her heart be removed.
With her throat aching, she replied with a heartfelt, “Thank you,” and set aside her phone. Then she stared at the flight tracker, taking way too long to comprehend that they were above Turkey. Only a few hours to go before she would have to say goodbye to Luca.
He woke as they began their descent into Athens.
For one millisecond, as he glanced at her with disorientation, she saw a flash of the complex hello he usually wore when he woke next to her. It was discovery and pleasure and something magnetic and welcoming that always warmed her deep in her center.
This time, it was gone before it fully formed. She saw memory strike him so hard, he flinched. His expression blanked into steely, unreadable lines.
Whatever spark of hope still flickered within her died, leaving her more bereft than she’d ever felt. She looked to the window, teeth clenched against making apologies. Was this her fault? Not really. Everyone had a past, and she hadn’t aired hers on purpose.
Did that matter when it was impacting him anyway? Her parents hadn’t cared who was at fault ten years ago. This can’t get out, Amy. How did you let it happen?
Her ears popped and, moments later, they were on the ground, taxiing to a stop outside a private terminal for personal and charter jets.
“I have to speak with my sister,” Luca said, glancing up from his ringing phone. He unbuckled and rose, bringing the phone to his ear as he moved into the stateroom for privacy.
Amy searched wildly out the window as she began gathering her things. A team of trench coats and briefcases came out of the terminal and headed toward the plane. Fresh air came in as the steps were lowered.
Where was Baz? There! She saw the plane with the psychedelic logo on its tail and rudely shuffled her way past the confused faces of people trying to board.
It was raining and she hadn’t bothered to pull on her light jacket, so she felt each stinging drop as she ran the short distance across the tarmac. Stairs appeared as the hatch was lowered on Baz Rivets’s plane.
“Welcome to the naughty side, ducky!” Baz wore jeans, a torn T-shirt, a man bun and a scruffy beard. He opened his arms in welcome.
She ran up the steps, starting to cry, she was so overwhelmed. “I didn’t know how to get home without being swarmed, but I didn’t expect you to make a special trip for me!”
“You flew to Thailand and kept me out of jail. Giving you a lift home is the least I can do.” He wrapped his arms around her. “You messy, messy girl.”
“I never claimed to be otherwise, Baz. I really didn’t.”
“Oh. He doesn’t look happy.”
Amy turned to see Luca had come onto the steps of his own plane. He stared across at her, his dumbfounded rage so tangible she felt a jolt of adrenaline sear her arteries.
Baz kept one arm around her and drew her closer to his wiry frame. He wore the most neighborly of smiles as he waved and spoke with quiet cheerfulness through his clenched teeth, “That’ll teach you, ya royal bastard. Amy should be treated like the queen she is.”
I’m not. I was never going to be.
For a long moment, she and Luca stared at one another. He didn’t call her back or come get her, though. And he turned away first.
It was a knife straight to her heart, one that would have kept her standing there waiting for the rest of her life in hopes he’d reappear to pull it out, but Baz nudged her inside.
“Come tell Uncle Bazzie all about it. Lads, put the kettle on for our sweet Ames.”
* * *
Luca was clinging to his patience by his fingernails. His brain kept going back to asking Why didn’t she tell me this could happen?
It didn’t matter why. She hadn’t. Intellectually, he understood that Amy was the victim of exploitation. That wasn’t something she needed to tell anyone unless she wanted to.
But now his sister was in his ear saying, “I appreciate this isn’t something she could control, but it’s time to distance yourself from her.”
“I know.” His goal had been accomplished, and Amy’s connection to him was making things worse for her.
The woman who had leaked the story wouldn’t have been so well rewarded if she’d only been taking down a PR agent who worked with celebrities. No, Amy’s romantic link to royalty had been the gold the story was really mining. It was a vein that would continue to be exploited as long as he and Amy were together.
Even so, when Luca saw Amy darting across the tarmac to the waiting plane, he nearly lost his mind.
He’d hung up on his sister and shoved his way outside in time to see her with—Who the hell was that? Some demigod celebrity, Luca realized as he took in the flamboyant logo that spoke of a live fast, die young rock culture. The jackass wore professionally distressed clothing and a smug grin as he claimed Amy.
Luca hated him on sight.
You made me fall in love with you.
If she loved him, she should have trusted him enough to tell him about her past. Enough to stay.
That’s all he could think as he stared across at her standing in that other man’s embrace, the image like radiation that destroyed his insides the longer he stared.
“Sir, there are people in the terminal getting all this on their phones,” someone said from inside his plane.
Brilliant. His final humiliation was being recorded for uploading to the buffet of public ignominy that was already so well stocked. Outstanding.
He went inside to take his seat, sick with guilt that he’d wanted to right a wrong and it had resulted in yet more wrong.
Everyone stared at him while he settled into his chair.
“Our first step is to make clear to her the legal and financial consequences she will face if she divulges any of this to the press
,” one of his lawyers piped up.
“We should make an immediate statement that she was asked to leave. Get in front of whatever photos come out from this.” Another one tapped the window.
Luca had had the team meet him here in Athens in hopes they could find a way forward that wouldn’t destroy both him and Amy. He had expected her to weigh in.
Now he could only stare in disbelief while another backstabbing idiot said, “Given her history, we could reframe the photos and make a case for you to take back the throne.”
Luca swore and waved his hand. “Get off my plane. All of you.”
* * *
Neither Bea nor Clare were in London when Amy arrived.
Bea, bless her, said Amy could use her flat. She was deeply grateful and sank into the familiar oasis of Bea’s personal space.
But with both of her friends still away, it fell to Amy to keep London Connection running. She popped an email to her assistant to say she would do it remotely to minimize the disruption she was already causing at the office. She didn’t mention her plan to resign. She would wait until Clare and Bea were back to tell them personally. For now, she focused on drafting a statement about her past and most recent disgrace.
It started out very remorseful, but the more she looked up statistics on sexual harassment and noted the delight trolls took in being sadistic toward women, and the punishment gap when a woman made a mistake versus a man, the more incensed she became.
She wound up writing:
How is it that a twenty-nine-year-old man was deemed to have more to lose than an eighteen-year-old woman?
Everyone had something to lose when this affair happened, but I—the person with the least life experience and fewest resources—became the scapegoat. I was expelled before I could take my A levels, destroying my university aspirations.
No one cared that my future was derailed. It was far more important to Avery’s mother, the headmistress, that she keep her job and avoid a disciplinary hearing over her son’s behavior. She convinced my parents to sweep it under the rug. They agreed because they had financial, social, and career pressures to protect.
Instead of urging me to call the police, which I was too humiliated to contemplate on my own, my parents cut me off financially. I was literally left homeless while Avery was immediately transferred to a position at another school.
What began as a PR spin became an essay on feminism and the distance that still needed to be traveled. When she was done, there was morning light outside.
Amy hit send to a senior editor of an old-school but well-respected newspaper in America, then hired bodyguards to escort her to her own flat.
* * *
“‘The king of Vallia hired me to assist with the Queen’s Foundation,’” Sofia read aloud from the same open letter that Luca was reading on his own tablet. “‘At the time of my professional engagement, we discussed extending my purview to other assignments, but those discussions were discontinued after we became personally involved.’”
Mio Dio, she knew how to gracefully pirouette with prose, Luca thought.
Perhaps Sofia was thinking it, too. He could feel her staring at him from her position at the opposite end of the table, prodding him for details on those halted discussions.
Luca and his twin had always breakfasted together if they were both in the palace, even after Luca took the throne. It allowed them to connect personally, but also discuss any political developments or other rising concerns. Luca had wanted Sofia to be in the know so she could seamlessly take over when the time came. She was keeping him equally well-informed as a courtesy. She certainly didn’t need him weighing in with advice or opinions. Vallia’s populace was adapting well to the changeover, seeming energized and eager for the new order.
Luca wished he could say the same. He was miserable.
While I regret the anguish King Luca must have suffered from the photos of us that emerged, I feel no remorse over the fact he was pressured into giving up the crown as a result of our affair. Men should be held to account when they cross a line.
“I like her,” Sofia mused.
Me too, Luca thought, heart so heavy in his chest it was compressed and thumping in rough, painful beats that echoed in the pit of his gut.
He reached the end where an editorial note stated that Avery Mason’s wife had recently retained an extremely pricey and ruthless divorce lawyer.
“Do you suppose that’s why she sold the story?” Sofia asked as she clicked off her tablet. “To pay for her divorce?”
“And bolster her petition for one,” Luca surmised. Perhaps she’d seen this as her only avenue for escaping her marriage. He couldn’t spare much thought or empathy for her, though. Not when she’d ruthlessly used Amy to achieve her own ends.
The way you did? his conscience derided.
“A rebuttal is being drafted,” Guillermo said, ever the helicopter guardian, hovering and batting away threats to his charges.
“Why?” Luca asked. “Do you not think men should suffer the consequences of their actions?”
“Signor.” It was one of Guillermo’s scolds that backpedaled even as his haughty demeanor reinforced his position. Luca Albizzi was never allowed to be seen as anything but faultless.
You were so convinced of your own perfection you had to hire someone to make you look bad.
“Guillermo, will you leave us please?” Sofia said.
Luca brought his focus back to his sister as Guillermo slipped away.
“I regret nothing,” he said, which felt like a lie, but he still waved a dismissing hand at his tablet. “This will pass.”
“Luca, I know,” Sofia said in a voice that sent a chill of foreboding through him. “About the night Papa died. I made Vincenzo tell me everything.” Vincenzo was the head of the palace’s legal department.
Luca looked away, instantly thrown back to that grim night. “I was trying to spare you, not hide it from you.”
“I know.” She rose and came down the length of the table to stand behind him.
He tensed, not wanting comfort. He resisted her touch when her narrow hands settled on his shoulders and she squeezed his set muscles.
“I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me. That you’ve had to carry it alone.”
“What was the point in forcing one more ugly memory onto you?”
“I know, but I needed to understand. Something changed in you after that night. At first, I thought it was the pressure of having to ascend. That you were angry the crown hadn’t come to me, but it was more than that. I saw it more clearly when you were with Amy. She makes you happy, Luca, but you’re fighting that every step of the way. Why?”
“Because look what happens when men in positions of power follow their base instincts!” He waved at the tablet where Amy’s words were imprinted for the world to see. “Do you think that would have happened to her if she hadn’t been tied to me?”
He would have risen to pace, but she didn’t let him shrug her off. Her hands pressed him to stay in the chair as if she could impress her views into him with the action.
“You saw how upset she was the day our affair was revealed.” He was still haunted by Amy’s bleak expression. “She threatened to burn down the palace because she was terrified of exactly this.”
“You didn’t know about it, Luca.”
“But I still wouldn’t have done anything differently if I had. That’s what makes me sick with myself. From the minute I saw her, I wanted her. I was attracted to her and yet I hired her anyway. I brought her here and gave in to what I felt. Pursuing what I wanted has destroyed her. So yes, she makes me happy. What the hell can I do about it when I’m a cancer that will only harm her?”
You made me fall in love with you.
He had to breathe through the pain every time he thought about her saying that. In the moment, he’d refused
to let it in. His reflex had been to control the damage they faced, but while she’d been sleeping, her words had begun to penetrate and they’d replayed in his head continuously ever since, torturing him. Making him ache with what might have been.
“Do you know why I was away when Papa died?” Sofia asked.
“You were at a UN conference,” he recalled dimly.
“The conference was over. I was hiding in a hotel room, worried I was pregnant.”
Luca abruptly twisted in his chair to stare up at her.
“It was a false alarm,” she hurried to say.
“Who?” he demanded in astonishment.
“Someone who was not anticipating being a father, let alone a queen’s consort,” she said tartly. “What I’m saying is, you are not the only person who has moments of weakness and fallibility.” She cupped his cheek. “You’re not the only one who wants to find a life partner and feel loved.”
“I will stand behind you no matter what, Sofia. You know that.” He took her hand to impress the words into her with a squeeze of her fingers. “You could have told me. If anything like that ever happens again, you can tell me.”
“I know. And I stand behind you no matter what. Despite recent appearances,” she said with a quirk of her mouth. Then she waved at his tablet. “Look how strong she is, Luca. Do you really think she’s going to let any man destroy her? No. She has publicly declared she’s keeping the life she has made for herself, and good for her. She is exactly the sort of woman you should be pursuing. She’ll keep you honest.”
You said it was only going to be an affair and I believed you.
He had tried to believe it himself, but he’d known that every minute with her was more than some flickering memory. It had been a stone in the foundation of something bigger. Something he wanted to make permanent. He’d already been contemplating going to London so they could continue to see one another.
“Do you have any idea how annoying it is that the women in my life are smarter than I am?” He rose.
“At least you’re smart enough to realize that.”
“Be warned, Sofia. If I’m going after everything I want, for me and you and Amy and Vallia, blood may get spilled. I won’t always be nice about it.”
