by Graham West
“I used to come here with a few friends. Weekends mostly—Saturday afternoon—while the local lads played football. We had quite a good local team at one time. They actually won the league.” She gave him a rueful smile. “But a lot of the younger ones got jobs and moved out. It’s more of a bowls and cricket place, now.”
“And you’ve never thought of moving away?”
Maddison shook her head. “I like it here. It’s quiet, and that suits me. I’d hate to live in a big city.”
Alex nodded, wondering how many friends she really had. “So, what’s your name?”
The girl frowned. “Maddison. I already told you that.”
Alex blushed. “No, I meant your surname.”
“That’s Maddison too,” she replied, looking slightly embarrassed.
“What? Maddison Maddison?”
“Yeah. My parents have a bizarre sense of humour, but Maddy Maddison sounds okay.”
He was warming to the girl. She had one of those faces—the kind that would defy the aging process—a smooth, rosy and almost childlike complexion that made it difficult to tell exactly how old she was.
“That sounds cool to me.” He took another mouthful of burger, trying desperately to make it last in case he ended up with a clean plate before Maddy had taken her first bite.
She grinned, taking a long draw from a large banana milkshake topped with ice cream. “I hated them for it when I was growing up. Got teased mercilessly at school. But then the other kids got bored and the name kind of grew on me, especially when I decided I wanted to be a rock chick. Maddison sounds a bit like Madonna.”
“So what happened?”
“I discovered I couldn’t sing. And I don’t mean I wasn’t that good. I was friggin’ awful!”
Alex laughed; it felt good. He’d not done too much laughing since Danni walked out. “You wanna do this again?”
Maddy blushed. “Isn’t that something you’re supposed to ask me at the end of the night?” She offered an impish grin.
Alex shrugged. “Take it as a compliment. You’re really good fun.”
Maddy’s eyes hardened. “Okay, I’m gonna level with you. If you want to see me again then that’s fine with me as long as there’s no one else on the scene. No girlfriend?”
“None, I promise.”
“No exes that you’re still in love with?”
Alex paused long enough for Maddy to guess he wasn’t going to give her an honest answer.
“You might as well ’fess up because I’m no one’s second best,” she said coldly. “So if there’s someone you’d rather be with, I don’t want to get involved. I’m not getting mixed up in some love triangle.”
Alex smiled. This girl wasn’t going to take any shit. Her warm smile masked a steely determination. He liked that. Something told him that if he won the heart of Maddy Maddison, it would be his forever.
***
Jenny looked up briefly from her book to see Jake pass by like a fleeting shadow with little more than a cursory grunt. Her heart was heavy, but Sebastian’s words gave her determination. She sprang to her feet and followed him into the kitchen.
He turned, his eyes hard and cold. “I’m off out for a drink.”
Jenny suppressed her frustration. “Great. I really fancy a glass of wine.”
Jake gave her a withering look. “I’d rather be on my own, thanks.”
“That’s fine. Isaac’s with Dad, so before you go, I thought we could talk?”
“We’ve got nothing to talk about.”
Jenny took a deep breath. Raising her voice would just give him more ammunition. “I think we have, babe,” she said softly. “And I’d rather we did it before we went away.”
“Went away?” Jake looked confused.
“Mr. Blakely’s given us a free weekend at Mosswood. In the hotel.”
Jake studied her, and his eyes seemed to bore into her soul. “And you really think that is the answer to all the shit that’s going on?”
“We need to spend time together,” she hissed. “We need to sort this out. I’m not letting you destroy our marriage, Jake. I won’t!”
“Me? It’s you that’s destroying our marriage! How can I sleep with you knowing you’ve got the hots for someone else—your sister!”
Jenny’s face was burning. “Jake, I love you! You’re the one I want.”
Jake stepped back, as if the words had hit him like a blast of hot air. Jenny moved forward, closing in. “I can’t explain my feelings for Kayla. I can’t explain because I don’t understand them myself. Maybe it’s some kind of crush, I don’t know. But I need you, Jake. I need you more than I’ve ever needed anyone.”
Jake stared at her and, for a moment, she believed he was considering her words. But then his eyes darkened again. “I’m sorry. My mind is made up. I’m going back to my father’s house to stay. I think it’s for the best.”
Jenny’s legs buckled. “For how long?”
Jake looked away, staring out of the window. “It’s over, Jen,” he said in a whisper. “You can stay here with Isaac until my father sells the place. I’m sure we can sort out the access stuff amicably. I’m not a monster. I just can’t deal with this, that’s all. I can’t get you and her out of my head.”
Jenny wanted to scream. This couldn’t be happening. Jake placed a hand on her shoulder as he passed, leaving her standing motionless, listening to his footsteps on the stairs. Then she heard the wardrobe doors opening and shutting, the familiar squeaks and creaks he’d never got around to sorting.
She watched from the window as he threw two suitcases into the boot of his car and climbed behind the wheel. Without a backward glance, Jake drove away. Jenny listened until the familiar sound of his silver-grey Ford faded into the distance. Only then did she allow herself to cry out in anguish. It reverberated around the house—a house that was cold and lifeless, standing like a memorial to her world as it fell apart.
Chapter Forty-Two
Isaac was too busy kicking a balloon between his grandfather’s legs to look up as Jenny walked in. She tried to sound breezy, ruffling his hair. “Hi! How’s my little man?” Isaac gave her a cursory smile and picked up the balloon.
Jenny’s father looked up and nodded. “He’s going to play for England one day. Isn’t that right, kiddo?”
Isaac giggled and took a swipe at the balloon with his hand, sending it high into the air.
“Grandad’s just going to have a rest now, pal.” Rob flopped back onto the couch.
Jenny sat on the chair opposite, desperately trying to hold back tears. It wouldn’t be right to cry in front of Isaac, but she could hardly ask him to leave the room.
Josie walked through from the kitchen, and Jenny smiled, but Jo had a knowing look in her eyes. “Hey, Isaac, you wanna help me with these cupcakes?”
Knowing it meant he’d get to lick the mixture from the bowl, he was through the door like a bullet. Jenny breathed a sigh of relief.
“Okay,” Rob said. “What’s up with my girl?”
Anything would have set her off at that moment, but to be called my girl after everything that had happened—after all the pain and the heartache they’d been through together—it was too much. Jenny sobbed uncontrollably. Everything was such a mess, and yet she had done nothing wrong. Not really.
“Me and Jake…” she bawled. “It’s over.”
The silence made her glance up only to see her father staring at her.
“What?”
Jenny nodded, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. “He’s gone back to his dad’s place.”
“What happened?”
Jenny managed to stop crying, but her whole body felt weak. “He thinks I’m in love with someone else.”
Her father’s eyes darkened. “But you’re not, are you?”
Jenny shook her head.
“Then why would he think you are?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I don’t care how complicated it is. I’m your dad.
You can always talk to me.”
“I’ve already hurt Jake. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He leaned forward and asked gently, “Jen, what’s going on?”
“I’m not having an affair, if that’s what you think.”
“I always thought you two were solid, so something must have happened.”
Jenny managed a half smile but her heart was a lead weight in her chest. “It’s Kayla,” she said eventually. “Kayla likes me.”
“Of course she likes you! But what’s that got to do with you and Jake?”
“No, she has feelings for me. Proper feelings.”
The colour drain from Rob’s face. “How? Kayla’s straight…isn’t she?”
The silence that followed was like a wall between them. Things were not as they’d seemed, and the truth was slowly sinking in. “How did Jake find out?” Rob asked in little more than a whisper.
“I’ve known how she felt for a while now,” Jenny admitted. “But nothing’s happened. I love Jake.”
“I believe you, sweetheart, I really do. But there’s something you’re not telling me.”
Jenny wiped more tears away as she saw the look in her father’s eyes. “Jesus, Jen. Please don’t tell me you have feelings for her too.”
“I don’t know.”
“What exactly are you telling me? You’re bisexual?”
“I guess. I’ve never even looked at a girl before. And I’ve told Jake I love him. I’d never want us to break up…”
“He won’t know how to deal with this, Jen. You’ll have to give him time. You two are meant to be together.”
“I know,” Jenny cried. “I can’t lose him. I can’t.”
“Okay, so what are you going to do now?”
Jenny shrugged. “Dennis Blakely invited us to spend the weekend in the hotel. Jake won’t come with me, so I’ll just take Isaac. It will be a break.”
Her father nodded slowly. “That might not be such a bad idea. It will give you both some space.”
Jenny stood abruptly, angry at his casual acceptance of Jake’s refusal to accompany her. “I might ask if I can stay a little longer,” she retorted. “Maybe a couple of weeks.” She immediately softened when she saw her father’s sadness, but it was too late to take it back. His two girls were threatening to blow apart the family he had built—the family that gave him the strength to carry on.
***
Darren Pascoe had been having nightmares every night since he arrived home from hospital. He was still in that forest with Taylor, along with someone else, or maybe something else. He’d thought he was going to die, and sometimes, even during the day, under a clear blue sky, his world felt dark. Danni had put it down to concussion and the fire. They had all wondered how they were going to get out of that place alive, and they’d all seen the glowing orb. But no one, especially Jenny, had wanted to talk about it.
Taylor had left him to die, and he wondered if that scrawny bastard had even bothered to check if his charred remains had been found. The guy was one screwed-up excuse for a human being, and Darren wasn’t going to waste time seeking him out and planting that single left hook that would smash Taylor’s jaw in several places. Darren could almost hear the bone splintering and imagined himself looking down into Taylor’s dazed eyes and laughing. “You thought I was dead and I’m gonna make you wish I was!”
But revenge wasn’t going to help him sleep at night; not even the pills he took did that. The little white tablets the doctor had prescribed were probably the mildest on the market, and he hadn’t even felt drowsy, not even when he managed to empty his head while listening to the songs Danni loved so much.
Darren closed his eyes. He had an early start in the morning and hoped Jake was in a better mood than he’d been in today. It had to be to do with Jenny. Something was going on, and Darren was starting to worry about his adopted family. If it fell apart then he’d end up back with his uncle, working in that grease pit with Creepy Tony for a boss. Maybe he was getting paranoid, but Jenny had seemed a little tense recently, and she’d been a bit cool towards Jake too. It wasn’t that they’d been arguing—that was normal in most relationships. This was something deeper.
Darren turned back the quilt. His bedroom was warm, and the neighbours were having a party. They were playing the sixties stuff—Beatles, Rolling Stones, Chuck Berry—and obviously weren’t kids. With any luck, they’d wear themselves out by midnight and return to their Horlicks and slippers.
Darren reached over and pulled his headphones over his ears, clicking the music channel on the TV. A blue screen flickered into life. Adele was singing the final bars of ‘Someone like You’. He wondered if Danni would ever grow tired of him and find someone new—if she’d marry them, settle down and live happily ever after.
It was in the twilight hours he realised how tenuous his grip on happiness really was, how easily it could all slip through his fingers. His job, his family, his girl. Nothing lasted forever, not these days. Now it was Sinéad O’Connor singing about lost love—‘Nothing Compares 2U’. He hated these nights. He hated the tears. But most of all, he hated the dreams.
Chapter Forty-Three
Isaac fell asleep after just two pages of Thomas the Tank Engine. Jenny had decided to set off on the fifty-mile drive before breakfast. Her father had agreed to look after the dogs, and she’d messaged Jake to tell him he’d be welcome to join them if he changed his mind.
She checked her phone. It was eleven, and there was an old Burt Lancaster movie running on a satellite channel. Jake hadn’t replied, so she turned off the TV and headed upstairs, pulling off her top as she went. There were two painkillers on the bedside table; she popped the soluble tablets into half a glass of water and watched as they foamed. Sleep would not resolve her problems, but it would provide an all too brief respite. They would kick in after twenty minutes—just enough time to get ready for bed.
Jenny considered opening a bottle of wine but decided against it. Alcohol rarely did anything to lift her spirits, and she had never been able to drown her sorrows. But the pills… Jake had bought them at the local chemist when he wrenched his shoulder a couple of weeks back. They were the strongest he could get without a prescription, and they had worked well.
She showered quickly and dried herself as she walked to the bedroom, standing in front of the full-length mirror before dropping the towel. Her skin was pale, like Kayla’s. In fact, their bodies were similar. Maybe Kayla had slightly smaller breasts, but their hips and legs were the same shape; they’d shared clothes during those first few months and everything had fitted just fine. Jake might well have asked her why she wanted Kayla’s body when she could stand in front of a mirror and admire her own. That’s how straight blokes thought.
Suddenly the bedside lamp flickered and went off, plunging the room into inky blackness. Jenny swore under her breath, reaching across the bed and feeling around for her phone; she quickly turned on the torch and caught sight of the flashing battery symbol in the corner of the screen, then it was gone. The room was dark again.
Jenny stumbled across to the window and pulled back the curtains as the moon appeared from behind a cloud. She turned, having decided to go to bed naked, but something caught her eye. In the far corner, the shadowy figure of Amelia stood, motionless. She looked angelic, so far removed from the girl who had haunted Jenny’s dreams nearly five years ago.
“You saved us,” Jenny whispered breathlessly. “You led us out of the forest.”
Amelia smiled. “And you have returned,” came the voice inside her head.
Jenny nodded. “Without Jake.”
Amelia nodded slowly and began to fade. There was no answer. Maybe it really was the end of the marriage if even Amelia could see it.
Jenny climbed under the duvet. “Why won’t you tell me anything? Why did you appear now? Am I in danger?”
A deathly silence hung over the room. Jenny lay back and closed her eyes. The distant hoot of an owl broke the stillness, and she be
gan to cry, taking Jake’s pillow and holding it to her breast. What was her husband—the father of her child—doing at that very moment? Was he lying awake, thinking of her, wanting her? Or had he decided it was time to move on? Had he really given up so easily? In her heart, she knew she would grieve for him and it would feel like a death.
***
Robert’s heart raced when he heard Kayla’s key in the lock. Josie had tried her best to reason with him, but it had done nothing to suppress his anger. “I’ve been through all this myself, hun,” she said softly. “Just talk to her. Let her explain.”
Kayla stopped short and stared at the two of them. Rob saw that look in her eyes; she knew they knew. “Erm… Hi, you guys. Everything okay?”
“What do you think?” Rob grunted at the sharp kick from Josie’s heel in the back of his leg.
“Something wrong?” Kayla frowned.
“Look, hun,” Josie interrupted before Rob had a chance to reply, “we know about this thing…with Jenny.”
“And,” Rob added, “I want to know what the hell is going on! I thought you were straight.”
Kayla often used arrogance as a form of defence, but this time, she shrugged, clearly wounded by her father’s aggression. “It’s not that simple,” she said, her eyes flashing from one to the other. Rob saw the pain there, but his daughter possessed much of her mother’s spirit.
“I’m sorry, Kayla. I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand? Feelings? Emotion?”
Rob guessed what was coming next.
“Don’t you remember how I got here in the first place? Don’t you remember hooking up with my mother behind your wife’s back?”
“It’s not about feelings,” Rob retorted. “It’s about sex. Is Jenny the first girl you’ve ever liked?”
Kayla hesitated.
“Oh, I see!” Rob boomed, ignoring Josie’s fingers digging into his side. “And you never thought of mentioning it?”
Kayla’s eyes flashed with anger. “Why should I? Every guy I’ve cared about has either been a pervert or a psycho. I’m more comfortable around girls.”
