by K. R. Grace
“Research has proven that women who ovulate are attracted to bad boys because their hormones tell them bad boys make good baby daddies. Further research supports that women who go after bad boys are attracted to the non-committal relationship said boy presents, even though they hope to be the one who changes that,” Teagan spouted off.
“I ovulate and I find Cam repulsive,” Morgan countered.
He blinked. “I didn’t say it was accurate research, but you are a lesbian, so your data would’ve been tossed out anyway.”
“I’m not a lesbian. I’m undecided.”
“Same thing.” He waved her off.
She glared at him but said nothing. It was fun watching these two dance around each other. It was as if they understood the other’s language, and even when they threw barbs at each other, neither ever took it seriously. Yes, Morgan classified herself as asexual with no confirmed preference when it came to dating companions. If anyone else in the gang pointed that out to her, she would’ve taken great offense, but with Teagan, she rolled with it.
I was about to say something to Morgan, but all thought fled my mind as an unfamiliar hand fell on my shoulder. Twisting around with a jerk, I looked up to see Evan towering over me.
“Hey, mind if I sit next to you?” he asked, but his eyes were on Cam who shot him a smirk.
“Um, sure.” The fact that Cam got a kick out of being considered a leg in a love triangle unnerved me. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I needed to find another guy to create the love triangle, that way if I didn’t end up with one, I still had the other.
Evan sat down and pulled a sandwich out of the paper bag he’d been holding.
“So, how’s everyone doing today?” he asked, appearing to be comfortable with having seven sets of eyes on him.
Cam draped his arm across my shoulders and tugged me over to him. “Doing great, man. How about you?”
I frowned as I pried his arm away and straightened up.
“Doing just fine now that I’m sitting next to the prettiest girl in school.” Evan gave my leg a pat before taking a bite of his sandwich.
I felt like a sock monkey being tugged in two directions. Reese’s eyes bulged as they darted from Evan to Cam to me. The ground needed to open up and swallow me whole.
Unable to handle being in the middle of this Twilight-Zone peeing match, I grabbed my tray and bolted up onto my feet. “You know, I just remembered I promised to work on the yearbook layout during lunch today.” And with that, I was out of there. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I left skid marks in my wake.
Breathing didn’t return until I was behind closed doors and sitting at the desk designated for the editor. The whole thing was falling apart. Being in a love triangle was supposed to make me feel good, but with Cam being one of the “guys” involved, it absolutely sucked. I knew he was doing it just to mess things up. He never could handle being wrong about something. So, technically, I was being pursued by a guy who actually liked me but being derailed by my own best friend.
Ugh!
The worst part was that I was losing respect for Evan in the process. He knew I wasn’t romantically interested in Cam, and yet he acted like a dog marking his territory whenever Cam was around. I guess being territorial was only cute after one had the girl.
By the end of the day, when I was back in the yearbook room, I’d managed to put the entire incident out of my mind. That was, until I opened the envelope on the results of the senior superlatives the school had been voting on for the past two weeks.
Right there, in big bold letters under the caption, “Cutest Couple” were two names: Camden Davis and Macey Greere.
“Nope. No, no, no, no, no. We have to do a recount. There is no way in heck I’m putting this in the yearbook!” I yelled as I threw the offensive paper across the desk.
“It’s what the school voted.” A sophomore staffer, Selina Ramirez, shrugged.
“It’s a mistake. In order to win ‘Cutest Couple’ you have to actually be a couple. We are just friends. Friends!” I had to be dreaming. There was no way the entire school thought Cam and I were a couple. Not with his reputation. “Let’s have a vote. All in favor of a do-over, raise your hand.”
Only two of my most loyal staffers raised their hands. The remaining five raised their hands in support for keeping it as is.
I watched in horror as they rolled out the giant white paper roll and began writing down the winners in each category. If I had any hopes of ever having a boyfriend, they were shattered and obliterated by the time I left yearbook.
When Evan texted me later that night, I didn’t bother responding. When he saw that sign, any interest he had in me would be gone.
Seven
5. If Men Aren’t Working, Try Batting for the Other Team
My fears were realized the next day when I walked into the school foyer. There in all its glory was the superlatives banner, and in red with little hearts around it were mine and Cam’s names next to “Cutest Couple.” Of course Evan walked into the building at the same time, and of course our eyes met only seconds after he saw my name linked with Cam’s. A look of disgust spread across his face, and that would be the last time I ever considered Evan as boyfriend material.
“Hey, look, it’s us,” Cam said as he nudged me.
“Oh. Joy,” I growled before stalking off to my locker.
All morning I had to endure people talking about me as if I couldn’t hear them. I earned new names. Wonderful names like “bitch,” “skank,” and “slut” just to name a few. It made absolutely no sense to me given the fact that the freaking school voted for us in the first place! Of course, the ones who were angriest were the ones I’d had to dump on Cam’s behalf.
Enough was enough. Time for the next step in the plan. If guys were going to cause me this much trouble, I was ready to try dating a girl.
Not only would dating a girl be a change of pace, it would instantly silence the rumors that Cam and I were an item. The issue was trying to find the right girl to go after. Morgan was off limits because I didn’t want things to be weird between us if it turned out I was decidedly not into girls. There were a few girls who’d already come out, but two had been dating for three years, and the other hated me with a passion because I accidentally sat on her favorite Barbie doll in the second grade and squished her face in so when it popped out, she looked like Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
All week, I kept my distance from Cam and only communicated with him when necessary. If I wanted to stick with the plan, I needed to make the message very clear that he and I were nothing more than friends.
In AP calculus, Ms. Ryan decided to put us in teams…again. Given that the last team project hadn’t gone over so well, I didn’t have high hopes. When I found myself paired with Marshall Riley, I began to think my luck was changing. Marshall and I were in tight competition for the Valedictorian spot and more than likely would end up sharing the title. He was level-headed, had no history of psychological hang-ups, and wouldn’t expect me to do his work nor he to do mine.
“So, should we meet up at Pirate Pizza tonight? It’s my night to work, but it’s usually dead during the week. My boss doesn’t mind if I do homework on the job,” he said when the bell rang.
We both stood and gathered up our books.
“As long as you don’t mind my little brother tagging along. I’m on babysitting duty for the week.”
“Sure. I’ll have my sister Neyland come too. That way he’ll have someone to talk to until we finish.”
“Hey, I forgot Neyland was your sister. She and Clay will get along great. He loves soccer.”
Neyland Riley was the star of the girls’ soccer team and a junior Olympic gold medalist in the sport. Clay would think he was meeting a superstar.
“Good. So, see you around five?” Marshall asked, slinging his bag strap over his head so it rested on his shoulder.
“We’ll be there.”
Clay was an easy sell. All I
had to tell him was Pirate Pizza and Neyland Riley, and he was excited about our plans for the evening. Of course, I made him finish his homework before we left for the restaurant.
Walking into Pirate Pizza and being greeted by the wonderful smell of fresh marinara sauce and baked pizza dough was one of the best experiences ever. Second only to walking into a bookstore.
Marshall was busy with some customers, so I scanned the room until my eyes landed on Neyland who was waving us over to a booth in the corner.
“Hey.” She smiled brightly as we took our seats in the booth across from her. “Marshall said to go ahead and order something to eat. He’ll be tied up for the next ten minutes or so, but he’ll join us once that table leaves.” She motioned over to the customers he was assisting.
“Neyland, this is my brother Clay. Clay, this is Neyland.”
“Marshall says you’re into soccer. What position do you play?” she asked Clay. They immediately fell into a conversation about soccer, which I checked out of, choosing the more exciting entertainment of social media stalking.
I’d always gotten along with Neyland. We never traveled in the same circles because she was an athlete and I was athletically challenged, but whenever I had to do the soccer team photos, she was always the one who would strike up a conversation and keep the entire team laughing. She wore her dark brown hair up in a ponytail and never wore any makeup. Not that she needed it. She’d been blessed with dark lashes and naturally pink lips. So not fair.
Marshall stopped by to take our order and quickly darted off without much conversation. We’d all decided to split a couple of pepperoni pizzas and a pitcher of soda, mostly to make his job easier. He quickly returned with the pitcher and a stack of cups before darting off again.
“So, Macey, how does it feel to be voted cutest couple in school?” Neyland asked.
Of course she went there. “Not so great. Sort of feels like the punch line of a bad joke.”
“You got voted cutest couple? With who? Yourself?” Clay snorted.
“Apparently the school thinks your sister and Cam Davis are an item.” Neyland filled him in.
That caused him to squirt soda out of his nose. He held his side as he continued to laugh as if she’d just said the funniest thing.
Neyland looked at me for support. “Did I say something?”
“It’s just that Cam and I aren’t a thing and never will be a thing. How the entire school would think otherwise with his man-slut reputation is quite comical.”
She nodded. “Yeah. I thought it was odd myself. He’s dated almost every girl on the soccer team at some point. Not exactly doting boyfriend behavior.”
“Can you imagine the STDs he has to be carrying?” I cringed before taking a sip of my drink.
“Actually, I’ve heard from a few sources that he doesn’t have sex with any of the girls. I mean, yeah, they have a good time, if you know what I mean, but he hasn’t done the dirty with anyone yet.”
That was news to me. He’d always led me to believe he lost his virginity a long time ago. Not that I ever asked for the details, because ew, that would be more than I ever wanted to know. Of course, there have been a few times he protested my assumption that he’d lost his V-card a long time ago, but they felt half-hearted at best. Had I misjudged him?
“Wow, after all this time…” I muttered. My mind kept flashing to Honda girl and how he had his hand shoved up her shirt in broad daylight. Why the heck would he do something like that if he was still a virgin?
Clay asked Neyland a million soccer questions while I worked on my set of problems. When Marshall finally joined me, he handed me his own set of completed work.
“No need to check each other’s work. I already know it’s all correct.” He waved me off before going back behind the counter to talk to the cute, petite blonde wearing thick, black-rimmed glasses and a purple paisley dress.
“Is that Marshall’s girlfriend?” I asked Neyland as I observed the flirting couple.
Neyland looked over her shoulder and then back at me. “Oh, yeah. They started dating over the summer. Met at the public library. They’re totes adorbs.”
“They are cute together,” I agreed.
“Betchu can’t beat me in pinball!” Clay suddenly challenged Neyland.
She laughed and grabbed for her wallet.
“You’re on, kid.”
With nothing left to do, I pulled out my phone and began scrolling through my social media apps…again. Nothing new or interesting had happened since I last checked thirty minutes ago. So, I pulled up my Kindle app and picked up where I’d left off with Love and Lattes. Oh, I’d finished the book the first night I downloaded it. This was re-read number three.
“Can I get you anything else?” Marshall popped up, scaring the crap out of me. I jumped and clutched my chest.
“Gees, warn a girl next time.”
“It’s not my fault you were too absorbed in your phone to pay attention to your surroundings.”
He had a point.
“I’m fine, thank you,” I managed to answer once my heart vacated the vicinity of my throat and returned to its normal place.
He jerked his thumb over at where Neyland and Clay were in a heated pinball battle. “Looks like little sis has a little admirer.”
I laughed. “Yeah. Too bad he’s three years too young for her.”
“Not that it would matter.” Marshall snorted.
Obviously I was on the outside of an inside joke. “Because?”
His eyebrows knit together as he tilted his head to the side as if he wasn’t sure what he was looking it. “Because she dates girls.”
“Oh…” I knew my eyes were wide and I was looking at him like he’d just told me he had three nipples.
“Yeah, I thought that would be common knowledge by now. What, with her coming out last year and all that.”
A vague memory of gossip about two of the soccer players dating last year came to mind and I nodded. “That’s right. I remember now. Are they still together?”
The wheels were turning in my head. Neyland was cute and sporty and had a great sense of humor. She would be the perfect girl to go out with.
“No, they broke up at the beginning of the year when Yvette moved to Illinois.”
Yes! “Awe, that’s too bad.”
“Eh, she wasn’t too heartbroken over it.”
Neyland and Clay made their way back to the table, and I rubbed my sweaty palms on my thighs as I gave myself a mental pep talk. I’d never asked anyone out before, let alone a girl. I was supposed to do the asking, right? There were no rules like there were with heterosexual relationships, right? A tiny thought countered that there technically weren’t any rules for heterosexual relationships either in a progressive society, but I shoved it back as Neyland leaned into the booth to grab her bag.
“Kid’s got a wicked competitive streak. I’ll give him that.”
I did an awkward smile and bob thing that made me look like a broken bobble head doll. Lord, could I be any more awkward?
Clay had retreated to the restaurant door and was wildly gesturing for me to get with the program so he could leave. If I needed a sign that I’d been given a chance to ask Neyland out, I need not look any further.
“So, um, Neyland, would you be interested in going out this Friday? Maybe catch a movie or something?”
There, I’d said it. My heart was doing the cha cha in my chest. Then she laughed.
My face flushed hot as embarrassment weighted down in my stomach. “Um, what’s so funny?”
She waved me off as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh at you, but you’re so straight, you couldn’t be gay if you wanted to.”
Anger replaced embarrassment. “What the hell does that mean?”
“The first day I met you, my straight-dar said you were not one of us.”
“Straight-dar?”
“Yeah, the internal indicator that tells me if someone is straight or gay,�
�� she said between laughs. “I’m sorry. I know I should get control of myself.”
It took her several deep breaths before she regained her composure.
“If you were gay, I’d totally date you, but you’re not.”
“How do you know that?” I demanded as I rose to my feet so I could at least take my rejection standing up. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. Maybe it’s because I like girls rather than guys.”
Neyland grabbed my face, and I will forever be able to tell my grandchildren that their grandmother’s first kiss was with a girl. If I was being honest with myself, Neyland was a really good first kiss. She had a confidence in her movements that my stunned lips obviously lacked. Her chapstick smelled like chocolate, and I registered that she and I used the same berry body wash. But the kiss felt more like I was kissing my best friend than someone I liked. It didn’t flip my switches, nor did I get a whole lot of pleasure in the act itself.
She broke the kiss and smirked. “What did you think?”
“The truth?” I paused, waiting for her subtle nod to continue. “Like I was playing a game of truth or dare, and we were dared to hold a kiss for five seconds.”
“Exactly. It felt weird, didn’t it?”
I gnawed on my bottom lip as I nodded.
“I’m glad you were open to the idea of dating a girl, but maybe you should just keep them as friends.”
She was right, and I felt like an idiot for putting her in such an awkward position. “Okay, you win, but would you still like to hang out sometime? As friends, of course.”
A bright smile flashed across her face. “Yeah, of course. As long as you don’t make it weird again and try to kiss me.”
“Me kiss you? You’re the one who kissed me!” I laughed and just like that, the whole mortifying episode was behind us. Yes, I had to walk past Clay with his jaw hanging down to the floor, but it was worth it.
When he and I pulled into the driveway, it was to find Cam sitting on the steps of the front porch.
