by J. Castle
We walked back to our neighborhood together. “So,” I started as I walked next to him. “Have a girlfriend back in Georgia waiting for you to come home?”
“Nope,” he replied quickly. “What about you? Got a girlfriend?”
“Nope, I’m keeping my options open.”
“Playing the field, are you?” Ethan joked as he punched arm.
“Look who’s talking,” I said as I punched his arm back.
Ethan suddenly reached out and tried to grab and squeeze my side in his hand. Was he trying to tickle me? Could he possibly be flirting? I swatted his hand away. “I don’t think so,” I said playfully.
“Oh, sorry if I crossed a line,” he said. “my siblings and I always do that to each other.”
“It’s all good.” I reached out and tried gave the space just below his ribs a good squeeze. He tried to smack my hand down but was too slow.
“Cut that out,” he laughed.
We came to an intersection in the neighborhood. “Well, I guess this is me,” I said as I gestured up the side street.
“Thanks for coming out tonight, Andy,” Ethan said kindly. It’s nice to have a friend in a new place.
“Let’s do it again next week,” I said with a smile while we stood underneath the streetlamp.
Our eyes locked for a moment. It remined me of the day I met him when he was moving in to his house. We had both knelt down to pet Buddy and our eyes met. I had actually thought a lot about his piercing blue eyes since they day I met him. They were easy to get lost in. About a dozen thoughts ran through my mind. Does he want me to kiss him? Should I kiss him? What if he doesn’t want me to? What if he isn’t gay? Fuck it!
I put my arms around Ethan and pulled myself close to him. I think the beer had given me a little extra courage that night.
“Wha-What are you doing?” he asked.
I let him go. “I’m sorry. It just seemed like we-like we were having a bit of a moment. I’m sorry If that was too forward.”
“It’s fine,” he said softly. He paused for a minute. “You can come back over here.”
We wrapped our arms around each other. He was taller than me, but he leaned down and I moved my lips close to his. He pressed his mouth onto mine with a soft kiss. He pulled away after a few moments.
“Thanks,” I said as we dropped out arms. “See you around campus.”
I walked up my street back to my house as Ethan continued through the neighborhood to his place.
Chapter 3
Ethan
I don’t know why Andy and I kissed after trivia that night, but something about it just felt right. Andy was easy to talk with. He was a good listener. I was drawn to him for some reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Maybe I was gay, after all. Maybe I just wanted to be close to someone. Anyone.
The following week Andy and I made plans for him to come over again before trivia night. I wasn’t too sure he was going to after I had kissed him. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but I didn’t even know his preference. Was he bi? Was he gay?
His footsteps got louder as he walked up the stairs. “Come in!” I hollered from the kitchen.
“Hey Andy,” I said nervously as I passed him a beer. I looked at the ground. “I wanted to apologize for last week. I’m not sure what got into me.”
“It’s totally fine. We don’t have to talk about it.” He could tell I was nervous.
I was relieved that was all we said about that first night after trivia. I didn’t want to read too much into it; I just accepted it as a close moment between two friends. It couldn’t have been much more. Besides, I also had a couple of beers, so I am sure that was a factor in it as well.
I enjoyed getting to know Andy better over the course of the semester. We went to trivia every week and always had a beer at my place beforehand. The two of us actually didn’t pretty well. We usually placed in the top three teams, and even won twice. He must have told his parents that we were good friends because they started inviting me to family dinners and weekend outings. I liked his family and it was starting to feel like I had a home away from home.
***
Andy was over my house the Monday before Thanksgiving. “So, are you planning on going down to Georgia for the holiday?” he asked.
“Nope,” I said. “Not worth the trouble of two 16-hour drives. I also have to finish the my paper on Canadian-American relations during the Cold War.”
“I’m sorry,” Andy said sympathetically. “I am sure your family will miss having you at dinner. Has anyone else up here invited you over for the holiday yet?”
“Not yet, but I was thinking of having dinner alone and working on that stupid paper.”
“You’ve always got your nose in a book,” he joked. Why don’t you take a break Thursday afternoon and come over to my house? It won’t be anything too crazy. It’ll be me, my parents, and my grandparents. Come over for turkey and then you can go back home and have the quiet evening you want.”
“Thanks!” I was grateful for the invite. I had never missed a major holiday with my family. In fact, none of my siblings had either. It was nice to be wanted someplace else. “I’ll make my mom’s famous peach cobbler for dessert.”
I had never made that cobbler before. I also didn’t want to show up to the Taylor family Thanksgiving empty handed. My mom was reluctant to share her recipe with me. It was passed down through all of the matriarchs in the family. After a little coaxing, and a solemn promise not to share it with anyone else, she e-mailed it to me. I spent the day before the holiday gathering ingredients and making the dessert. Do you know how difficult it is to find good peaches in New Hampshire in the fall? So much for working on that research paper. The smell of the cobbler in the oven was a gentle reminder of my family, and I was happy to share it with the Taylors.
Thanksgiving dinner at Andy’s was much more relaxed than a holiday with my large loud family, with one exception, football. I watched the game in the living room with Andy, his dad, and his grandpa. We yelled at the players just as much as my father and brothers would have back home while his mother and grandma finished cooking the turkey and sides in the kitchen. Andy wasn’t much of a sports fan and watched the three of us shout at the television with a great deal of skepticism.
“Dinner is ready!” Andy’s mother, Jane, called from the dining room.
We made our way to the table and everyone piled food onto their plates.
“Would you mind if I said a prayer?” I asked as Andy was about to take a big bite of turkey covered in brown gravy.
“That would be lovely,” Jane replied. “Please, go ahead.”
Everyone bowed their heads. “Dear Lord, thank you for this bountiful dinner we are about to enjoy. Thank you for healthy and happy friends and family. Please bless the Taylors, and all they do. Amen.” It was a little clunky. I hadn’t been to church since I had moved to Bowington, but they all seemed to like it.
“Amen,” everyone said.
“That was wonderful,” Jane said as she looked up. “We aren’t too religious in this house, but it is nice to pray every now and again. Thank you, Ethan.”
We all made it a proper Thanksgiving and ate as much as we possibly could. By the end of the day there wasn’t a crumb of my mother’s famous peach cobbler left in the pan.
After the meal we all gathered back in the living room. I would have been too full of food to walk home right after the meal. I don’t know how long I had sat for, but I finally didn’t feel so full. The clock on the wall said 7:30 p.m. I hadn’t done much work on my research paper. “Well,” I started. “I should probably get home and get some work in.”
“I’ll walk you home,” Andy offered almost immediately.
“Sure, Why not?”
Andy and I made the quick walk to my house. It would have felt kind of strange to just send him away. “Do you want to come in for maybe or a coffee?” I offered.
“Sure.”
He followed me into the kitchen. As I turned
on the coffee maker I could feel him standing close behind me. I turned around and I looked into his brown eyes.
“I know we haven’t really talked about the first night after trivia,” Andy started. “But I would be lying if I said I hadn’t really thought about it. I’ve thought a lot about you. When we first met and we both knelt down to pet Buddy, I knew there was something special about you. I had a boyfriend at the time, but Jacob and I broke up right before the semester started.”
He caught me by surprise. I never would have guessed he was gay, aside from the kiss we shared. I appreciated that he felt comfortable enough to come out to me. While my parents might have judged him for it, I didn’t. What other people did in the bedroom was really none of my business. I still didn’t know what to say. “Uh-well.”
“I don’t know if you’re straight, bi, gay, or something else but I liked kissing you,” he confessed.
“Oh...” I liked kissing him to, but I didn’t know what that kiss meant. I didn’t tell him this, but that was my first kiss. I was completely inexperienced in all things love and sex. I didn’t know if I liked it because it was my first. I didn’t know if I liked it because of the beer. I didn’t know if I liked it because he was a good friend. I didn’t know if I liked it because I was attracted to guys.
“Would you mind if we did that again?”
“Right now?” I asked. I was caught completely off guard.
“Yes.”
I didn’t have to think about it. I pulled him close to me and leaned my face in to meet his. He wrapped his arms around my back and we kissed in the kitchen. I kept my eyes closed as his tongue pushed my lips apart and searched my mouth for my own. They moved around each other until he pulled his back into his mouth. My tongue followed it. His soft, smooth hand moved up and caressed my face as we kissed. His other hand moved down my back and he grabbed my butt firmly over my pants. I felt my member move. I could feel it grow the longer we kissed. I wonder if Andy can feel it bulge against him?
Andy took the lead. He spun me around and slowly began to walk me backwards out of the kitchen and into the living room. Our mouths were still together. Suddenly my knees buckled as he pushed me back onto the couch. He stood above me. “Why don’t you take that shirt off?” he said with a smirk. I didn’t say anything but did as he asked and pulled it over my head. He knelt on the floor in front of the couch and started to unbutton my pants. “Is this ok?” he asked. I nodded.
No one had ever been this close to me before. No one outside of a gym locker room had seen me naked before. I was completely hard as I guessed where this was headed.
My friend slid my pants and boxers out from under me and I sat completely nude on the couch. He placed his hands on my thighs and slowly worked them upwards until he took my cock firmly in his right hand. He began to massage. I felt slightly embarrassed sitting there naked while Andy was fully dressed but his hands felt too good for me to care that much.
“Is this ok,” he asked again softly.
“Yes.” I leaned back and closed my eyes.
His warm mouth closed around my cock and he slowly moved his head up and down. I ran my fingers through his brown hair and let out soft moans. This was an entirely new experience for me. I was mad at myself for missing out on feeling this good for so long.
I felt every movement his tongue made from a strong flick across the tip to soft licks up the shaft. Andy clearly knew what he was doing. He hit all right spots. My body tingled with pleasure. Sure, I had jerked off before, but my friend’s mouth felt completely different.
I’m sorry to say that I didn’t last very long. It must have only been three minutes before I finished in Andy’s mouth. I was ashamed I couldn’t control myself. Andy stood up once I was empty. “I had thought about doing that all day,” he said with a large grin.
“Oh yeah?” I asked.
“I wondered what you looked like under your pants and was not disappointed.”
“Thank you,” I said half for the compliment and half for making my body feel so good.
“See you next week for trivia?”
“Absolutely!”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Ethan.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Andy.”
He left me sitting there naked on the couch almost instantly after I had finished. It took a couple of minutes for me to peel myself off of the couch. When I came, it felt like my body had melted into the cushions. I tried to work on my research paper but was too distracted. I was too busy thinking about Andy, kissing him, and the fact that my best friend just went down on me. Shit! I was falling for my best friend.
Chapter 4
Andy
I loved having Ethan in my mouth. He was an attractive guy with a member that would make almost any other guy jealous. By the time I made it home, though, I had regretted going down on him. It was complicated. To start, I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship. It’s hard to keep friends in a college town; everyone leaves after a few years. The other reason I regretted it was that my parents didn’t like that I was gay. They lectured me constantly about finding a girlfriend and making grandbabies. As an only child It was a lot of pressure.
After Thanksgiving I didn’t text Ethan. I figured he was busy with his research paper anyway. Once classes started after the short break, though, there was no avoiding him.
“Hey Andy,” Ethan caught me after seminar. “Still want to come over and do trivia later?” I reluctantly agreed. I needed to put distance between us, though, which meant I was going to have to talk about what happened.
He welcomed me into his place as he usually did with a cold beer in his hand. “Do you mind if we talk,” I started cautiously.
“Sure thing!” It was easy to get Ethan excited. He was almost always optimistic. He had that in common with Buddy.
We walked into the living room and I took my usual place on the couch. He usually sat in the arm chair but decided to sit next to me. It was obvious that he was trying to be close to me.
“Listen. I think we need to talk about the other night, after Thanksgiving dinner.”
“I was hoping we could talk about that night, too,” he said with a smile.
“Hear me out first.” I took a deep breath in and braced myself. I knew this was going to hurt him. “I have been thinking a lot about that night. I really liked it. I really like you... as a friend. If we keep doing that sort of thing, if we keep fooling around, I’m worried I would lose a really good friend.”
“So, you just want to be friends?” he asked as a look of disappointment washed over his face.
“Yeah, I think we should try being friends. But it’s also a little more complicated. Even though I had a boyfriend in the past, I think I should try and date women from now on. I had fun fooling around with guys, but I don’t know if long-term, like the rest of my life, I could be with a man. I think I need to grow up. I think I need to settle down. A girlfriend would be a step in that direction. I should find a girlfriend who would want to marry me and have kids. You know I am an only child and my parents have certain expectations. My mom always pesters me about grandchildren and my dad wants me to pass on the family name. If I don’t have a child, my family just stops. That’s it. They-I want to pass something down.”
All of it just came out of me. These feelings had built up over the past few months and I couldn’t hold back. I knew it was a lot for Ethan to hear. I was essentially breaking up with him.
“But even if you got a woman pregnant,” he began to reason, “you might not even have a boy. What if you had a girl? Would you be disappointed she wouldn’t carry on the Taylor name?”
That was a fair point, but I didn’t really want to argue it.
“I would try and have another child who I hope would be a son.”
“And if not?” he asked. “Or what if you had a son and he was gay?”
“I would be disappointed.” This was a shitty thing to say, but I mean my parents were disappointed when I told them about Jacob. “Either way
, Ethan, I think we should just be friends and maybe we are too close right now. Maybe we need some time to let this cool off.”
“Your logic is flawed,” he said calmly.
“What about your family? How would they react if you told them you had a boyfriend?” I flipped the conversation. “Wouldn’t your good Catholic family be upset?”
He took a minute to reply. “Honestly I hadn’t given it much thought. I am sure they would be upset. My dad might even disown me. But you and I are different. I don’t have the pressure of needing to continue a family. I am sure my other brothers will have sons who can do that. There’s something I should probably tell you.” He looked at me as we faced each other on the couch. “The night we kissed after trivia, that was my first kiss. When we came back to my place after Thanksgiving dinner with your family, that was the first time I had ever done anything like that. I was straight, or at least I thought I was, until I met you.”
“Oh,” I said. I honestly had no idea that he was a virgin, let alone had never been kissed. I really didn’t know what to say.
“I think that I can love another guy. I think I love you Andy,” his voice was now soft. “There’s a feeling I have for you that I can feel deep inside of me and being close to you just feels right. I don’t expect you to feel the same way towards me, but it would be really nice if you did. I get it though, and I don’t want to risk throwing away our friendship if you think being with each other isn’t a good idea.”
No one had ever said that to me, besides family. For the two years Jacob and I were together we never said we loved each other. I felt the same towards Ethan, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it to him that night.
“You know, maybe we shouldn’t do trivia tonight,” I said. I really just wanted to go home.
“I understand.”
“Maybe I should just leave.” I got up, put my half-emptied beer bottle on the kitchen counter, and walked home.
“Did trivia get canceled?” my mom asked as I walked into the house.
