by Low, JA
“Ow.” He rubs the spot I just hit. This makes Amelia burst out laughing.
“Nah. Oscar’s a pretty cool guy,” she tells him, coming to my defense.
“I guess so. He is technically my boss, so I should be nice to him.” This makes her giggle. “I hear you’re moving to LA soon?” She nods. “Are you looking forward to it?”
“Um…yeah, I think so. Oscar just bought us a new house which looks pretty cool. I can’t wait to see that.”
“Really? Wow. We must be making him a lot of money then.” He cracks a joke, which makes me grumble. But Amelia is laughing and slowly relaxing so that’s the main point. “I hear you’re a bit of a fan?” Amelia nods her head. “Would you like a picture then? Show all your friends at school.”
“Really?” Her eyes light up.
“Of course. You’re part of the family now.” I don’t think anything could wipe the smile off her face. I watch as they take a couple of photos and Amelia furiously types away on her phone.
“Would you mind speaking to my friend, Tanya. She is like totally obsessed with you and she would like die if you called her.”
“I’m happy to make my fan’s dreams come true.” Hunter and I look at each other and gag at Tyler’s comment, but as long as she is happy that’s all that matters.
36
Stacey
We’ve organized an amazing barbecue in one of the many tents set up around the paddocks.
“Chuck a shrimp on the barbie, Oscar,” Christian calls out to him.
“It’s called a prawn, your dickhead,” Oscar yells back as the table falls into fits of laughter. Thankfully, Camryn has organized caterers to look after dinner tonight and basically every meal because catering to fifty plus people before the wedding is a little too much for me.
“It is so beautiful out here.” Isla sits down beside me, a glass of water in her hand. I eye her suspiciously. She catches my look. “Oh for fuck’s sake, how did you know?” she moans.
“The water is a giveaway, plus you’re glowing.” I smile at my friend.
“We’ve only just found out, so it’s early. We didn’t want to tell anyone.”
“Oh my God. I am so excited for you.” I hug Isla.
“You are going to be a new aunty then.” What does she mean? Isla notices my confusion. “Because we are going to be sisters.” Oh my God. Yes. It hadn’t really clicked.
“Sisters. We are going to be sisters.” This makes me giggle. Isla reaches out and takes my hand.
“I can never compare to Naomi, but just know that I promise to be as awesome as she was to you.” Tears begin too well in my eyes as I reach out for my friend, giving her hug.
“Thank you. I can’t wait for us to be family.”
“Me too, Stace.”
“Hope we’re not interrupting a moment,” Sienna asks, standing with Derrick, Olivia and Vanessa.
“Come sit,” I tell the gang.
“It’s so great being back home,” Vanessa muses. “The girls screamed when they saw the kangaroos bounding through the paddocks. They also may have scared the crap out of your chickens while they chased them.” This makes us all laugh. I notice Sienna sipping on water. Seriously? She can’t be pregnant again.
“You’re knocked up again.” The words tumble out before I can stop myself. Sienna’s eyes widen in surprise, her cheeks turn a light shade of pink.
“Fucking hell. Is it really that obvious?” Sienna rolls her eyes. The group squeals with delight as we congratulate her. “Look we just found out, so we weren’t going to say anything,” she tells us.
“I just found out too,” Isla squeals. This stuns the group.
“You too?” Sienna asks Isla. They both jump up and hug each other excitedly.
“You guys keep getting knocked up at weddings. It’s like it’s some kind of powerful aphrodisiac or something,” Derrick moans. “Damn rock stars and their potent sperm,” Derrick mumbles.
“Your time will come soon,” Olivia tries to reassure Derrick.
“I know, my little lady bug. I’ve started to speak to some agencies about looking into adoption but as a single gay man, even with my wealth, it doesn’t look good. Plus, there is a part of me that would love to have at least one child that shares my genetics. Because let’s be honest, look at me, all this needs to be in the world.” This makes us chuckle.
“What about a surrogate?” I ask him.
“That’s my next step. I think that is going to be the easier option. But it’s going to take some time to find the right woman,” he tells us.
“Well this is exciting, D,” I exclaim. He waves me away. “Enough about me, it’s all about you.” This makes me smile.
“I can’t believe how much Oscar has changed,” Isla adds. “Never knew someone under the ages of sixty that loved to garden as much as him.” This makes me smile. “He was chatting with Dad about buying a farm or something down in Malibu.” Isla looks at me as if she’s heard it all.
“Yep. He sure does. He wants somewhere outside of the city for the kids, but really it’s for him.” I take a sip of my beer. “He’s taken on the role of guardian so well. Especially with the girls, they seem to confide in him way more than me.”
“He’s always so good with Easton.” Issy smiles at me.
“He is such a good uncle, but he knows he can always give him back,” I laugh. “He’s stuck with these rat bags.”
“He looks like a natural,” Sienna adds, making me smile.
“It’s not at all how we saw our life turning out.” I fiddle with the label on my beer bottle. “I mean we never spoke about getting married or even having a family, but life has pushed the fast forward button and we are getting married and instantly have five kids.”
“So, no little Vikings in the works then?” Derrick pushes.
“Hell no, Derrick.” Is he trying to give me a heart attack? “We have all the family we need. Plus, I have teenagers. Like, I have no idea what they talk about half the time. They make me feel instantly old.” The group laughs. “This teen world is so confusing. I mean it doesn’t feel that long ago that I was one, but apparently that is all in my head, because I am very much old.”
“Well either way, you and Oscar are doing brilliantly,” Vanessa adds. “With everything you have been through it has brought the two of you closer together.”
“In a strange way it has. It’s very much made us reevaluate things,” I tell her.
“So, no more play in The Paradise Club?” Derrick asks. I shush him, worried one the kids might hear. This makes him laugh. “That is such a motherly thing to do.”
“They don’t need to know anything about that life,” I warn him. “I can’t imagine we will go back there, not for a while anyway.” Derrick’s eyes widen.
“So, you’re going vanilla?” I roll my eyes at the gossip queen.
“There will never be anything vanilla about us, Derrick. Just because we may not go to…” I quickly look around the room making sure the coast is clear “…sex clubs,” I whisper, “Doesn’t mean we just do missionary all night.”
“Having a family changes things,” Olivia pipes in. She and Axel have an experimental sex life just like us, so it’s interesting to hear what she has to say. “For Axel and I, we have just hit pause on The Paradise Club, as it just doesn’t fit into our life at the moment, but that doesn’t mean we won’t ever enjoy it again,” she adds, giving us a cheeky smirk.
“Good to see my naughty little princess is still there.” Derrick gives her a high five.
“Things will eventually settle down for you and Oscar, but don’t worry if things don’t go back to the way they were. You’re both living your new normal,” Olivia advises me.
”Thanks,” I whisper to her.
Derrick stands up raising his glass. “We are here celebrating the last Dirty Texas man falling.” Everyone raises their glasses. “When Sienna and I started this wild journey all those years ago, who knew that good friends would soon become family?
” Aw, man, don’t make me cry. “I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for Sienna and Stacey. You two have helped me launch a career that I only ever dreamed of. You have helped me set up a business that is creating an income that I never thought was possible. You two are like sisters to me, and every day I am thankful you are both in my life.” Damn it, Derrick. Tears are welling in my eyes. “To my Dirty Texas bitches, Ness, Issy and Liv.” He turns and looks over at them. “Thank you for welcoming me into your lives and becoming my family.” Water forms in all of their eyes. “I would do anything in the world for all of you. I mean, I would even sleep with you if you asked, and you all know how much I hate vaginas. Actually, it would be more like I’d have a threesome with you and your husbands. But I’d stick it in ya. That’s how much I love you girls.” This cracks us all up. It’s a very Derrick way of saying how much we all mean to him. “I mean it, ladies. Without you all in my life, I honestly don’t know where I would be. Before y’all, I was never accepted, I was never loved. I never fit in. Then this blonde bombshell over here…” Derrick points to Sienna “…took a chance on this old queen and saved my life. What she doesn’t know is that I had decided to end my life if I didn’t get this job. Not because it was my dream job but because I just couldn’t take anymore rejection.”
“Derrick.” Sienna jumps up and hugs him; tears are streaming down her face. “I never knew that.”
“I know, you saved me. I never want to think about that dark time ever again. You gave me love, acceptance and you made my dreams come true. You are my guardian angel.” We are all crying at his words. Damn him.
“I love you, Derrick,” Sienna sobs. We all get up and give him a hug.
“We love you, D,” we all tell him.
“Sorry, I actually didn’t mean to make it about me. I know, first time for everything,” he jokes. “I’m just caught up in the love and everything, but I did have a point in there somewhere.” He taps his finger on his champagne glass. “Oh, that’s right. I wanted to say to you, Stacey, nothing can ever replace your family. Just know that you are not alone anymore. You have your Dirty Texas family and we will always be there for you, no matter what, through thick and thin.” Oh shit, Derrick. He is really hitting me with all the feels at once. I’m completely overcome with emotion. “It takes a village to raise a child and this Dirty Texas village is going to help you raise the shit out of those teenagers.” This makes me smile. “And gorgeous little Lockie, well he’s young enough that we can mold him right.”
“Thank you, D. And thank you guys for coming all this way for us. I didn’t realize how much I needed all your strength until you got here.” I look out over our family and friends and see Oscar’s dad swinging little Lockie around making him giggle. The girls are playing with the babies, Emma and Becca are taking it in turns to push the prams around, trying to get the kids to sleep. For the first time since losing my family a sense of calm falls across me, we are going to be okay.
37
Oscar
It’s been so good showing my family and friends around the farm. I’m impressing them with my farm knowledge. Dad laughed when I told him that I learned how to build a fence and ride a horse to round up the sheep. Also told them the story about my run-in with the brown snakes and my many near death experiences. Of course, this made them laugh. The grandparents have decided to take the kids to bed, leaving us all to catch up which is nice.
“I can’t believe how many stars there are,” Christian muses, looking up in the pitch-black sky, the silvery shiny starts lighting up the sky for as far as the eye can see.
“And it’s so quiet,” Finn adds.
“It’s nice,” I tell them, sipping my beer. “It’s taken a while to get used to, but I think I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.”
“It’s going to be a culture shock when you get back to LA then,” Evan adds.
“Yeah. There is a part of me that actually isn’t looking forward to it, especially the constant media attention. I haven’t had to worry about that here, the locals ran them all out of town for us.” This makes them laugh. “But it will be good to be back with everyone again. I know I’m a grown ass man, but it’s good having the parents around.” I sip my beer.
“They are great with Easton and I know they can’t wait to help you guys too,” Finn adds. “Look at them with Lockie tonight. It’s as if he is already theirs.” They really did spend a lot of time with him, making him feel like part of the family especially after the start of the day where Lockie really wanted to stick close to me as the day progressed, he was happy to start going to anyone and hanging out with them.
“But teenage girls, man, that’s going to be hard,” Christian adds. “I’m dreading the days Ruby and Sadie are that age. Hormones, man.” He chuckles drinking his beer.
“Funny enough the girls have been pretty good, except in the mornings when they fight over the bathroom, it’s like the fucking hunger games.” This makes them all laugh. “That’s why I made sure they all have their own bathrooms in our new home. No fighting in the morning.”
“How are you feeling about that, moving back?” Evan asks.
“I’m excited to get home but also a little worried. You know, about the kids. They have all been so adamant that they want a fresh start, but what happens if it fucks them up, makes things worse? I just worry that I’m going to mess up.” The boys go quiet and stare at me.
“Fuck, man, you sound like a parent already.” Axel slaps me on the back. Do I? Shit. I do.
“You are doing the right thing, putting those kids first,” Christian adds. “If things don’t work out then you can always come back here or somewhere else.”
“Like your farm in Malibu,” Finn adds. I nod in agreement, maybe they are right.
“There are enough parents around if you need help, I mean they have all been through the teenage years with all of us, they seemed to have survived,” Evan laughs.
“I never expected this to be my life. I’m the guardian of five kids. I’m buying a fucking farm. I’m obsessed with chickens and gardens and shit. I haven’t even thought about The Paradise Club.”
“Wow,” Axel says to that.
“I know right?”
“See, I told ya. Pussy whipped man. Best feeling in the world,” Christian states cockily. “Remember those times you three…” He points his beer bottle to Finn, Axel and I “…used to pay out on Evan and I and now look at you all.” He smiles. “You’re fucking practically royal and about to pop out twins.” He points at his brother. “And you.” He turns to Finn. “You fell for your best friend’s sister, such a cliché, and you knocked her up.”
“And knocked her up again,” Finn adds.
“What?” My voice rises. “Issy’s pregnant?” Finn nods, a huge grin on his face.
“The girls picked it early so they already know. It’s still very early.”
“Oh man, congratulations.” I get up and hug my best friend and brother-in-law. “I’m going to be an uncle again.” Pride radiates from me.
“Sienna’s pregnant too,” Evan adds.
“What the fuck?” The words are out before I register them.
“What can I say, fellas. I have potent swimmers.” We all flip Evan off, but then congratulate him. The Dirty Texas brood is growing bigger every day.
“And you, Oscar. The one that never believed in marriage or kids or settling down.” Christian smiles smugly. “You are now getting married and have an instant family of five. You are doing the school run and braiding hair. I think we are going to be coming to you for advice soon.” He tips his bottle of beer at me.
“Okay, okay. I was wrong for giving you and Evan shit. I get it now. The love of a good woman does change you. And yes, I didn’t believe in all those things before Stacey, but shit happens, and you soon realize what is important in your life. For me, it’s definitely her. She is my everything, and I don’t care that it makes me sound pussy whipped, because guess what, I am and I love it.” I raise my beer
high.
“Hell yeah,” Christian calls out. “To being pussy whipped.” The boy’s cheer and hold their beers high in the air. We all burst out laughing. It’s so good to have the guys back.
The girls eventually join us around the campfire; Stacey snuggles into my lap, her head resting on my shoulder. We all sit around in silence just taking it all in.
“Wow, how the nights have changed for Dirty Texas,” Tyler from Sons of Brooklyn pipes up, joining the group.
“Your time will come, young Padawan,” Evan tells him. Of course Tyler scoffs at him, turning around to his band mates who agree with him.
“No woman can tame all this.” Johnny waves his hands all around him. We just shake our heads, because we too were cocky like that in our twenties. But you just never know what life is going to throw your way.
Eventually, jet lag kicks in for our overseas visitors and they all head off to bed. Stacey and I head back to ours too.
“It’s been so good having everyone here.” Stacey snuggles into my side.
“Didn’t realize how much I missed the boys.” She smiles up at me. “Don’t tell them, they already have big enough egos as it is.” This makes her chuckle.
“It will be nice having them all around when we move to LA.” I nod in agreement. “Can you believe Issy and Sienna are pregnant again?”
“I know, I’m going to be an uncle, and you’re going to be an aunty,” I tell her.
“How weird is that?” Stacey shakes her head.
“I think it’s going to be good for the kids, to be surrounded by all the littles ones. Emma and Becca seem pretty smitten with the babies.”
