by Mercer Scott
“Anything else?” Cooper isn’t letting this go. I guess he really, really wants me to be grateful for all the good things in my life.
“I have pretty good hair?”
“You have beautiful hair. But that’s it? You can’t think of anything else? Anyone else? Anyone who happens to be lying in your bed next to you right now, staring at you? No matter what happens today, you have me.”
“Oh.”
“Try not to sound so damn happy about it.” Cooper lets out a laugh that makes it clear that it’s not funny to him at all and falls back against the pillows.
“That’s not… I didn’t mean it like that.” Leaning up over him, my hair falls down onto his chest. My stomach was already bouncing all over this morning, but now it’s in overdrive. “I mean, I know that you’re here. But I… didn’t know that I had you. We’ve never really talked about anything like that before.”
“We haven’t?” Cooper narrows his eyes at me in surprise. How is the man surprised by whether or not we’ve ever talked about something as important as this?
As I shake my head, my hair dances lightly across his chest. “Pretty sure I’d remember that.”
“I’m sure I…”
“Trust me, we haven’t. I’d definitely remember that.”
Cooper gives me a sheepish smile that makes me feel all kinds of ways. My stomach just went from bouncing to levitating.
“I guess you would, huh. I’m sorry I never said it. But I mean it. You have me, no matter what happens today. The way I feel about you… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.” Cooper shrugs underneath me. “We just make sense.”
“We make no absolutely no sense!” I tell him with a laugh. “But somehow our complete lack of sense makes sense.”
For a minute, I wonder if he’s going to say it. Is he going to tell me that he loves me? Should I say it first? It doesn’t matter who says it first, I just want both of us to say it so that it’s out in the open. But before I can say anything, a stab of nausea hits me.
Pushing away from Cooper, I make a run for the bathroom and spill my guts into the toilet. Meowriah looks at me pitifully – and a bit judgmentally – before heading for safety of the living room.
Cooper’s behind me in an instant, holding my hair back while I vomit. He’s definitely not going to tell me that he loves me now, when I’m lying on the bathroom floor sweaty and vomiting.
“You okay down there?” He looks worried.
Wiping my hand over my mouth, I nod. “I think it’s just nerves.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
Then he holds his hands out to me to pull me up off of the bathroom floor. “You better get going. You don’t want to be late for your meeting. And I think a shower is probably a safe bet at this point.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for the hot tip. I never would have thought of that.” I glare at him for his ever so helpful advice.
“Good thing I’m here, then.”
When I hold my hands out to him, he smiles at me. “Whatever happens today, I’m right here.”
It’s weird being back at the hospital. This place used to feel as familiar to me as my apartment. Probably because I spent just about as much time here as I did at home.
The hospital is busy like always. People walk in every direction heading somewhere important. There’s an urgency in hospitals. Even when things are quiet, even in an empty hallway, there’s a tension. That quiet could be broken at any minute. Any second, any place in this hospital could turn into a frenzy of activity as my colleagues try to save lives. I used to be a part of that activity and that tension. But now I feel like an outsider, just another visitor passing through.
“Natalia? It’s so good to see you!”
Smiling down the hall, I wave at a lab tech I recognize. I’ve heard some variation of that about two dozen times today. But the voices calling out to say hi to me don’t stop to chat. Some of them even seem surprised to see me. I don’t know what I was expecting when I walked back into this place, but it wasn’t this. It wasn’t any of this. This place doesn’t feel like my home anymore.
And I can only blame myself for the people who used to be my friends and colleagues feeling like strangers. I’m the one who disappeared to Maui for months without a single word. I was so mortified about the incident that I couldn’t face anyone. I didn’t even reach out to explain or to talk to anyone. I don’t even want to imagine what everyone has been saying about me for the last few months.
When I can’t stand any more distant and awkward hellos waiting to be called in to face the Board, I take to the older, quieter part of the hospital. The shame I feel coming back here fits in better with the butter yellow seventies wallpaper and avocado linoleum than the crisp white walls and vinyl wood flooring in the newer parts of the hospital.
Just before ten o’clock, I arrive to stand outside the door to the conference room like the Chief told me to. Like when I was in the Chief’s office after the incident, this is the first time I’ve ever been in the conference room. As a nurse I almost never needed to come to the administrative side of the hospital. Until now. But there’s no hiding out on Maui anymore. I did what I did, and now it’s time to pay for it.
Bridget: Good luck today! Msg us as soon as you’re done. We’re all right here with you!
Veronica: Thinking good thoughts for you, friend.
Lara: Go kick some ass! Tell those fancy doctors what they’ll be missing if they let you go. And if we need to buy the hospital a new wing to get your job back, that can be arranged...
Lara: The Lara Daniels Wing has a nice ring to it…
Bridget: The last thing she needs to do today is kick any ass. That’s kind of how she ended up here
