by Jeane Watier
“He says we can change our circumstances by changing our thoughts, but from what he’s told me, it sounds more scientific than just positive thinking. I’ve tried lots of these methods—I guess you could say I’ve been on a spiritual journey,” Brian admitted. “I’ve tried out different churches, temples, even native sweat lodges, but this is something different altogether. I found common threads in many of the religions I’ve learned about. They all seemed to evoke the same questions, but this just may have the answers. It certainly appeals to my logical mind, and yet there’s something spiritual about it as well.”
“It helps to understand that everything is made up of energy,” Rachael began to explain. She didn’t know how much he knew about the subject yet, and she didn’t want to insult his intelligence.
“Yeah, he mentioned that. And he said our thoughts are like magnets, attracting what we think about. He talked about visualization too—it can help us attract the specific things we want. He said that the Universe is willing to give us anything we ask for, but the limitation seems to be in our own minds.”
“Yes, I’ve learned that, too. We tend to have resistance built up in some areas—old belief systems that still control our thoughts. It takes a bit of work to change them. Did he mention the emotional scale?”
“I can’t recall. Maybe. What’s that about?”
Rachael described the emotional scale and the need to move up in increments. She even shared some of her own experience.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Brian seemed like a compassionate person. He seemed genuine. She liked him.
“I’m not,” Rachael smiled when she saw the look on his face. “It was the contrast I needed. It caused me to ask powerful questions, and the Universe has brought me some amazing answers.”
“And you said you’re living this, and it works? I mean...it sounds great in principle...No,” he stopped, shaking his head adamantly. “It’s more than that; it strikes a chord inside of me. It’s like I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear this.”
“I read something like that the other day,” Rachael concurred. “The author wrote that when he first heard this message, it was like finally hearing the words to the song that had been playing in his heart. That’s what it felt like for me when I first started reading about this. Like you said, it’s more than just practical. It’s like remembering truth that we’ve forgotten.”
A smile spread across Brian’s face as he leaned forward. “It’s great talking to you like this. I don’t know anyone else, besides my friend, who’s into this. It’s good to know that others are interested as well. I really want to see that movie now.”
“What’s the name of it?” Rachael hadn’t been aware of anything else going on around her; she was so engrossed in her conversation with Brian. What was left of her latte was cold, and it was starting to get dark outside.
“Something about a secret.” Brian looked toward the bar as he said it and then gestured to the girl Rachael had assumed was Tracy. “It’s getting busy. I should get back to work.” He stood up, extending his hand to her. “I really enjoyed this. Maybe we could talk again sometime.”
“I’d like that.”
All the way home, Rachael replayed the conversation she’d just had with Brian. As she stepped into her house and closed the front door, she let out a squeal. That was amazing! Who would have thought he knew anything about the Law of Attraction?
Her thoughts naturally went to the possibility of a relationship. I don’t know whether he’s interested in me. Maybe he has a girlfriend. He did flirt a little, but that doesn’t mean anything. He didn’t really ask me out. Well, he sort of did. He didn’t ask for my number. Maybe I should have offered it. Why didn’t I offer it? With her thoughts headed in a negative direction, she wanted to get clarity on what she was feeling, so she picked up her journal.
For Rachael, writing was healing; it was soothing; and it often provided the answers she desired. But before she penned anything new, she read over what she’d written a few months back when she was feeling some negative emotion over the lack of a relationship. ‘I want the Universe to take care of this for me. I don’t know when or how I’ll meet the right person, but I truly believe that the Universe has it all under control. It’s so easy to imagine what he’s like—tall and good-looking, kind and generous, independently wealthy. He loves to travel and read. We have so much in common. We can sit and talk for hours at a time.’
She began to compare Brian to her list. He scored high in the looks category. She had to concede that he probably wouldn’t be working as a bartender if he was independently wealthy, and it was doubtful he made enough to travel very much. However, he seemed like the type that might like reading and maybe even dogs.
Above all, there was a common interest in the Law of Attraction; they’d talked for almost an hour. Then she remembered Gail’s advice. Maybe I am being too specific. So what if he isn’t well off? What if he’s perfect in every other way?
Oh God, listen to me, she moaned. I’ve got us married off already, and he didn’t even ask me out. I have to stop this. Nothing is more important than feeling good. I want to feel good about this! She picked up a pen to write in her journal, knowing she could reach for and find those better-feeling thoughts.
~
Geoff sat across from Jim, each of them lost in his own thoughts. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Their project had so much potential, such a good team behind it, and yet it seemed like one thing had caused a chain reaction, each in turn causing the other to fail. Now, they had come to the end of the road. At least Geoff felt that way.
“I’m not giving up hope,” Jim declared.
Geoff just looked the other way. He’d been hopeful, even when things started to fall apart, but now he needed to be realistic. He couldn’t put it off any longer. Jim could hang on to false hope all he wanted, but for Geoff it was time to own up to his mistakes. He had to tell Jenna the truth. He just hoped she’d understand. Maybe if I’d told her when things still looked good. If she’d only seen how close we were...
It was no use. He’d been a fool—that was all there was to it. He quickly downed the last of his beer and stood up. “I gotta go.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Jim stated. “I want to meet with Daniels one more time and see whether there’s something we’ve overlooked.”
Geoff shook his head. We’ve been over and over this. It’s like beating a dead horse. Why the hell can’t Jim see that? He turned and without a response, left the bar. As he drove home, he tried to rehearse what he needed to tell Jenna. It was late; she’d most likely be asleep, so he’d have to wait to tell her in the morning. He felt sick at the thought of it, but he also knew he had no other choice. Somehow, he’d find a way to tell her.
Chapter 10
Jenna could hear the kids making noise downstairs. Geoff was still asleep beside her. It was Saturday morning and she lay in bed, letting her mind wander. It had been a difficult week. As well as being depressed, and confused about all the new things she was learning, she was also feeling guilty for giving Rachael the cold shoulder. Rachael had been so kind and helpful, but Jenna was feeling overwhelmed with all the new ideas.
Things weren’t getting any better at home. Geoff remained quiet and aloof. They hadn’t talked much all week, and the kids had barely seen him. She silently questioned how things were going with his business deal and if that was the only reason for his stress. Not wanting to wake him, she slipped out of bed and quietly got dressed.
“Babe...” Geoff sat up and looked over at her.
“Yes?”
“There’s something we need to talk about.”
A chill ran down Jenna’s spine. The look on his face and the sound of his voice told her that it was something serious. “What is it?”
Geoff sat up and leaned forward with his face in his hands. Then he ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. Jenna took a breath then, too; she’d been holding hers, wai
ting for him to speak. Instead of telling her what he had to say, however, he got up and walked into the bathroom.
Jenna’s mind was racing. What is this about? What could be so serious? Is it about his work? What if it’s something else? She had to admit she’d thought about the possibility of him having an affair. Panic gripped her as she waited for his confession.
“What is it? Please tell me,” she demanded as he emerged from the bathroom.
“Babe, I…I’ve screwed up…badly.” Geoff was having trouble getting the words out. He looked terribly afflicted.
Jenna was sure she knew what he was about to say, but she refused to help him with the words. She simply sat down on the bed and stared at the floor, her heart pounding, her head about to explode.
“This business deal...it was a sure thing. We were so close…” He stopped and stared at her.
Suddenly Jenna was confused. She looked up at him. “What did you say?”
“We had everything in place. It was just a matter of signing the papers.” Geoff shook his head. “But it fell through. We were so close, and it fell through.”
“That’s it? Your deal fell through?” They’d been through similar situations before. Jenna breathed a huge sigh of relief.
“That’s not the worst of it.” Geoff’s eyes were riveted to the floor. “It’s the money. Babe…” he confessed, “I lost a lot of money.”
Jenna thought about the ten thousand Geoff had borrowed from their savings. It was a lot of money. She’d worked hard for it. Still, she felt no emotion.
“I took out a second mortgage on the house.”
“What?” Jenna couldn’t believe she’d heard right.
“I took out…” he started to repeat himself.
“How could you?” Jenna cut him off. “How could you do that?”
“Babe, I’m sorry. We were so close. We needed another fifty grand to get the prototype into production. Our investors had already shelled out extra. We had buyers lined up, and we were nearing government approval. It was a sure thing.”
“You took out…a second mortgage on our house? For fifty-thousand dollars?” She repeated it slowly and carefully, not wanting to believe she’d heard right. Still seated, she stared at the wall in front of her, feeling completely numb.
“Jenna?” Geoff said her name softly, but she couldn’t respond. The silence echoed in the room.
~
Rachael was anticipating a quiet weekend. She was eager to catch up on her reading. She’d spent a lot of time thinking about her meeting with Brian the previous day and was feeling content about it. She wanted to let the Universe take care of the details. She felt good about her decision.
It might turn into something more; it might not, she mused. I’m not going to drive myself crazy wondering about it. I’m glad I didn’t give him my phone number. This way, if we talk again, it won’t be because I tried to make it happen.
Looking out her living room window, she saw that it was shaping up to be a beautiful day. There was a hint of frost on the neighbor’s car across the street, and it was sparkling in the sun. The trees, vibrant in shades of red and yellow, stood in contrast to the grass, which was still green from the late summer rains. She wished that she was an artist and could capture the magic of it all.
It was early, but she decided to go for a walk. Her house was five minutes from a large park by the river, and she walked nearly every day—usually in the afternoon or evening. But as she looked out at the picturesque scene, she couldn’t resist.
The air was cool, making her thankful for the scarf and gloves she’d donned at the last minute. As she entered the park, she observed quite a few people already out enjoying their Saturday morning. As well, there was a diverse assortment of dogs, all frolicking and running free. The sight made her think, as she often did, about getting a puppy. She loved dogs, but she knew they took a lot of work, and she questioned whether it would be fair to leave a dog alone all day.
As she watched a man with a golden retriever, she was reminded of the dog she had growing up. Each time the man threw the ball, the dog raced to get it and then playfully bounded back to his master. But as the man tried to get the ball, the dog seemed to want to play tug of war. Rachael smiled as she passed by. The man stopped his game of fetch and turned to her. “Rachael?”
The sun was in her eyes. She couldn’t make out his features, but she recognized his voice. It was Brian from the bar.
“It’s good to see you again. Do you live nearby?”
“Yeah, a few minutes from here. How about you?”
“Not so lucky,” he replied. “I drive my dogs over. It’s one of the only parks within the city where I can let them run free.”
“Dogs?” Rachael looked around and saw the playful retriever running in circles behind Brian. He still had the ball in his mouth.
“Oh sorry, Cassie’s at the vet this morning. I just have Duke with me today.” At the mention of his name, Duke came over and sniffed Rachael. She put out her hand, and he began to wag his tail. As she bent down to pet him, his tail was wagging so hard that his whole back end was swaying.
“He’s friendly,” Rachael laughed. “He reminds me of the dog we had when I was a kid. He’s really beautiful. How old is he?”
“He’s still a pup—ten months,” Brian replied. “Cassie’s eight years old already, and I thought it would be good for her to have another dog around to help keep her active.”
“How does she feel about that?”
“Oh, she was a bit put out at first, but now she tolerates him. I think she actually likes him, she’s just too proud to admit it.” He was serious, talking about his dogs as if they were human. Rachael liked that.
They began to walk. Brian pulled another ball out of his pocket and threw it ahead of them. Duke dropped the one he had in his mouth, waited for Brian’s command and then went chasing after it.
“I really enjoyed talking to you yesterday,” Brian remarked as he picked up the ball.
“I enjoyed it, too.”
“I’m sorry it had to end so abruptly. Tracy gets mad when I leave her to work the bar. She’s not as familiar with making drinks. She prefers serving.”
“I hope you won’t get in trouble for that.”
“Oh, no problem there,” Brian laughed. “She can’t quit on me; she owes me too much money, and I can’t fire her; she’s my sister.”
“You own the place?” Rachael asked, surprised.
“Yeah, I do. Sorry, I just assume everybody knows me there. I bought it six years ago from a friend of mine. It had been in his family for three generations, and he was expected to take it over, but he had other interests, so I offered to buy it. His family agreed to sell it to me if I promised to keep the name.”
“O’Brian’s...That’s fitting.”
“Just a coincidence,” he shrugged. “Now everybody calls it Trophies.”
“Because of all the awards and medals on the walls,” she nodded. “Are they yours?”
“Some of them,” he replied, his voice softening. “I was a speed skater. Most of them were my brother’s. He made the Olympics before I did and won gold three years in a row. We competed together the year before he died. I wanted to keep his memory alive.”
“Brian, I’m so sorry.”
“That was eight years ago. It was really hard when it happened; he was so young. It was a brain tumor.” Duke came over just then, and Brian knelt down to pet him. “Cassie was his dog. She was just a pup at the time. Duke looks just like she did then. That’s the main reason I got him.”
They started walking again, and Rachael began to feel a connection to Brian that she couldn’t explain. She’d known him less than twenty-four hours. “Is that why you were on a spiritual journey?” she inquired. “To find answers after your brother died?”
“Pretty much,” he admitted. “I traveled all over the world. I had some experience as a bartender, so I’d work to make a bit of money and then move on. I lived in hostels or slept
in train stations or parks. I met a lot of interesting people. It seemed like we were all searching for answers.
“Then one night I had a dream. My brother was walking with me down the back alley behind our house. We were laughing and talking just like old times. It was so real. Since then, I’ve felt like he’s been with me. I came back home and decided to settle down. That’s when I bought the bar.”
“Wow. You’ve led a really interesting life.”
“I guess you could say that. It’s been good, though.” They reached the end of the park, and Brian called Duke to him, fastening his leash. “Well, this is where I’m parked.” He nodded to some vehicles along the road.
“It was really great running into you like this.” She didn’t want their time to end, but she knew the Universe was working things out far better than she ever could.
“Rachael...can I call you sometime?”
“Yeah, I’d like that,” she smiled, silently thanking the Universe. Now was the perfect time to give him her phone number.
Chapter 11
Jenna stood up abruptly and turned to face Geoff. The anger she was feeling in that moment was more intense than she’d ever felt in her life. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to tell him how stupid he was and how she hated him for being so selfish and irresponsible, but the words refused to come. Instead, she walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. Too many thoughts were screaming inside her head all at once, and she felt like something was about to explode. Suddenly she knew she had to get away. Somewhere. Anywhere.
Without stopping to think through her course of action, she came out of the bathroom, picked up her purse, and walked to their bedroom door. She refused to look at Geoff, but she managed to keep her voice steady as she informed him, “I’m going out. I don’t know when I’ll be back. The kids’ schedule is on the fridge.”
She got in the car, having no idea where she would go or what she would do, and began to drive. All she knew was that she needed time to think, and she couldn’t do it at home. Before long, she was on the highway headed west.
