by Jeane Watier
“Well, I have two sisters. One younger and one older. My older sister is married and has three kids. My younger sister, Tracy, works with me at the bar. I’ll introduce you next time you’re there. My parents are still living here in the house that we grew up in. I got into speed skating in high school, shortly after Steve did. I played hockey, but it was the skating that I really loved. So did he. He just kept getting better and better, winning competitions all over the place, and I followed in his footsteps—all the way to the Olympics.”
They reached the car, and Brian held the door as Rachael got in. After starting the motor, he turned to her and for a moment looked deep into her eyes. Her heart began to beat faster with the realization that he was about to kiss her. As she felt his mouth on hers, Rachael closed her eyes, savoring the ecstasy of their first kiss. It was tender and enticing—perfect in every way, and the tingle on her lips continued long after it was over.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all evening,” he smiled.
Chapter 16
As Jenna walked in the door after work, Chelsea and Brenton came running up to her. They were giggling and jumping up and down. She barely had time to set down her things before they started pulling her by the arm. “What are you kids up to?” she laughed.
“Daddy got a surprise for you,” Brenton said.
“It’s in the kitchen,” Chelsea added.
Once in the kitchen, the kids squealed and pointed to the floor beside the island. There, lapping milk out of a saucer, was a kitten. Jenna looked at the kids and then to Geoff, who was standing nearby with a grin on his face. “Where did it come from? Whose is it?”
“It’s for you,” Geoff responded. “You used to talk about getting a cat. I know how much you loved them when you were a kid.”
“Can we play with him, too?” Brenton begged.
Jenna knelt down and picked up the fluffy little bundle. It continued licking on her finger as she held it. She nestled it under her chin, and the kitten began purring. “You got him for me?” She was having trouble believing it. She’d mentioned getting a kitten several times in the past, but Geoff had dismissed the idea, saying that cats were a nuisance and not healthy to have around small children.
“He’s all yours, babe,” Geoff smiled. “Although, I think he’s a she.”
The kids laughed at the idea that a ‘he’ could be a ‘she.’ Chelsea came up to Jenna and stroked the kitten as she slept in her arms. “Mommy, I could help you take care of her.”
“Of course, sweetie,” Jenna assured her. “She’s for all of us to enjoy.”
The kids began arguing over who would get to hold the kitten first, so Jenna carried her into the family room and set her down on the sofa. She showed the kids how to pick her up and hold her close so that the kitten wouldn’t be scared. Then she went back to the kitchen. “What made you change your mind?” she asked Geoff as she started getting dinner ready.
“It’s time that I thought about someone other than myself for a change,” he admitted. “I hope you enjoy her. I got all the stuff the guy at the pet store said we’ll need.”
Jenna wasn’t sure how to respond. She was thrilled with the idea of having a kitten, and yet it didn’t erase what Geoff had done. She still felt frustrated when she thought about it, and somehow, holding on to it felt good. She wasn’t ready to let it go. It was serving a purpose. It was very different from the intense anger she’d initially felt, and that told her she was moving in the right direction on the emotional scale.
Geoff started to leave the room and she realized she hadn’t acknowledged his gift. “Geoff,” she said simply. “Thanks.”
~
The movie was beyond what Rachael had anticipated. It summed up so much of what she’d been learning with amazing clarity. As they walked out of the movie theatre and headed toward his car, she noticed that Brian was quiet. “What did you think of the movie?”
“I don’t know what to say,” he replied with awe in his voice. “That’s the most profound message I’ve ever heard. It really has been kept a secret. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone knew that stuff.” He reached for her hand as they walked.
Rachael smiled to herself, overjoyed at the way things were unfolding. The evening had been perfect so far, and she didn’t want it to end. “The message is spreading,” she stated, turning her thoughts back to the movie. “People are more open to it now than in the past.”
“It blows my mind to think that it’s possible to create our own reality,” he continued. “I mean totally, completely—not just coincidences here and there, or your life going generally well because you’re a positive person. But really being in control of your own destiny. Wow.”
Rachael laughed and gave his hand a squeeze. “Brian, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Wait till you see it playing out in your life on a regular basis.”
“Well, I don’t think you’re a coincidence.”
“I don’t think so, either.”
“This feels so right,” he emphasized. “Meeting you, learning about this.”
“This is in response to your asking,” Rachael explained. “We don’t always ask in words. The movie stated it clearly. Our thoughts are vibrations that we’re sending out to the Universe. Our desires are deep within us; they’re constantly being emitted, and the Universe responds freely, lovingly, every time.”
“I have to admit I was tired of the kind of girls I’ve dated over the years. I really wanted to meet someone with depth—someone like you. Now I have. And if what we just heard is true, there’s no limit to what I can experience in every area of my life.”
“What kinds of things do you dream about?” Rachael asked, curious to know more about him.
“I know what I’m going to dream about tonight,” he said jokingly as he kissed the top of her head.
Rachael playfully swatted him in the chest and laughed. “You know what I mean…big dreams, goals. What do you want out of life?” She liked the innuendo, though; she knew she’d dream of him, too.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” he said, bringing her hand up to his lips. “I don’t know...I wanted to find purpose in my life after Steve died, and the bar has done that for me. I love it there. I love people. A bartender gets to hear all kinds of things. And you know...I was just thinking; I could share this stuff with people. They’re hungry for answers, and this is exactly what they need to hear.”
“They’ll hear if they’re ready,” Rachael clarified. “Some people are determined to hang on to their ‘victim’ status. Others are so busy arguing for their limitations, they can’t hear you.”
“So, I’ll attract the people who are ready to hear,” Brian shrugged.
“I believe you will,” she smiled, continuing to enjoy the feel of her hand in his as they walked in silence for a moment. Then it occurred to her that just as before, her focus on Brian had been so intent she hadn’t paid any attention to where they were going. One moment they were walking out of the theatre and the next they were heading toward the river, having passed Brian’s car several blocks back.
It was almost as though she’d been transported through time and space instantaneously. She let her imagination drink in the pleasure of the notion. It was silly and fun, and yet she couldn’t help but wonder if it held a deeper truth.
When the sidewalk ended, they turned to follow the boardwalk along the river and then stopped to lean on the railing. Looking out over the water, Rachael breathed in the cool, fresh evening air. It was still early, and being with Brian was intoxicating.
“Tell me more about yourself.” Brian leaned close as he said the words, and she caught the scent of his cologne. “I don’t even know how old you are. Where do you work? What do you like to do when you’re not working?”
She told him her age and where she worked. She told him how much she loved to study and read in her spare time. She shared, too, about helping a friend at work and the exciting changes that were starting to take place. “I can’t describe
how it felt when Jenna called me. I could so relate to what she was going through, and I knew that if she could just hear what I was saying, she could start to be happy again. When she told me how she’d used anger to move up the emotional scale, I knew I’d reached her.”
“You should teach this.”
“I’ve thought about it,” Rachael admitted, flattered by his suggestion. “But I’ll have to let the Universe take care of the details. I wouldn’t even know how to begin, other than what I’m doing now—just sharing it with whoever will listen.”
“Maybe you could write a book.”
“You’re the second person this week to tell me that, but I’ll let that work itself out, too.”
“You’re amazing,” Brian said softly, putting his arm around her shoulder. As she felt the warmth of his body close to hers, she shivered, and he pulled her even closer. “It’s getting cool out. Do you want to head back?”
She shook her head. “Not yet.”
Brian put both arms around her, and she slipped hers under his open jacket and around his waist. Leaning against his chest, she listened to the rhythm of his heart as he stroked her hair. The intimacy was wonderfully satisfying, and being in his arms felt so good, so right.
After a moment, Rachael looked into his eyes. He was smiling again—the same smile that made her insides do summersaults. Their lips met in a kiss that was deep and passionate—far surpassing the perfection of the first. Rachael felt her heart respond in a way she’d never known before.
~
Jenna sat writing contentedly in her journal. Molly was curled up beside her, purring. The kitten was pure white, except for a bit of gray under her neck, and had thick, soft fur. She was adorable, affectionate and playful—everything Jenna had always wanted in a cat.
But beyond that, the kitten seemed to represent the changes that were taking place in Jenna’s life. So many things seemed to be changing for the better. Geoff was different, more attentive. She was enjoying the kids more. Going to work the last two days had felt better than usual. Her boss had complimented her on a project she had just finished. She joined Rachael and Gail for lunch regularly now, and Jenna found it truly enjoyable.
She’d even had a conversation with a complete stranger on the way home from work one day. Jenna had seen the woman on the train, but they’d never talked. Jenna learned that the woman worked for a major homebuilder in the city and was in charge of the show homes. She was an interior decorator, but also looked after the business end of things. They started talking about decorating, and Jenna had enjoyed herself so much she almost missed her stop.
She smiled to herself. Things are beginning to change, and I created it by changing my thoughts. She stroked the kitten’s lush coat. At her touch, the kitten woke up and began to stretch. Jenna picked her up and held her close as she looked at her mother’s photo, now in an ornate silver frame sitting on top of the armoire. “Thank you,” she whispered.
~
Rachael was exhilarated all week. Her date with Brian had been beyond all that she’d anticipated. After staying out on the boardwalk until it got too cool, they drove back to her place and talked in Brian’s car for another hour. She’d been tempted to invite him in, but she knew what that implied. The relationship was already moving very fast. She didn’t want to slow it down, but she knew that they had their whole lives ahead of them, and she wanted to savor every moment.
She endured all the expected questions and teasing at work, giving everyone the necessary details. Only with Gail, did she share the depth of what had taken place between her and Brian.
“Rachael, he sounds perfect. I’m so happy for you!” Gail hugged her as they talked during their coffee break.
“It was magical; it was sensational. Everything about it felt so right. I know it was only one date,” Rachael hesitated, “but we both felt it.”
“You don’t have to justify it to me. You’ve learned to let your feelings guide you. Don’t pull the plug on that now and start thinking rationally. Go with it. Enjoy yourself.”
“You’re right,” Rachael nodded. “It’s just old tapes playing, telling me to slow down and be careful—you know, things my mother would have said when I was younger.”
“You’ve created this for yourself. It’s really good. Just accept it,” Gail encouraged.
“We created this together,” Rachael smiled thinking of Brian and the potential that their newfound relationship held.
“When are you seeing him again?”
“Friday.”
Chapter 17
When Jenna returned to her office after lunch, there was a message on her phone. It was from the bank. Apparently their account was overdrawn, and the bank wanted her to call them back. They’d been dealing with that bank and that particular branch for years; Jenna was sure it must be a mistake. She wondered why they’d called her and not Geoff. She thought about calling him but decided to call the bank first and find out what it was all about.
“Mrs. Caldwell, thank you for returning my call,” a woman responded and then restated the purpose of her call.
“I don’t understand,” Jenna heard herself say. “There must be a mistake.” Her paycheck was deposited directly into their account every two weeks, and she made more than enough to cover their expenses. Geoff hadn’t had much income lately, but she’d assumed they were doing fine.
“I see that you have a joint bank account,” the woman said, “but the recent equity loan on your home is in your husband’s name. The payment is scheduled to come out of your checking account today, but there are insufficient funds to cover it. Is there another account that you’d like to have this payment come out of?”
As she listened, Jenna learned that the bank had been automatically transferring money from an attached savings account for several months, and now their savings was used up as well. As the call continued, Jenna could feel her emotions plummet.
She left work to go to the bank, still convinced there must be some mistake. When she got there, she asked to look at the recent statements. The woman pulled up their file on the computer screen and showed her the transactions for the last few months. Sure enough, they had been exceeding their income, and the bank had been drawing from their savings account to make up the difference. Not only that, but they also charged a fee each time they did it. As she scrolled down through the pages, Jenna saw numerous transactions to restaurants, bars and golf courses.
She knew that Geoff must be aware of the situation, and she couldn’t understand why he hadn’t said anything. Then she thought about the kitten and wondered if that was his way of trying to smooth things over before he told her.
Jenna could barely think. She absently told the woman that they would take care of the payment, although honestly, she didn’t know how. They had some money in bonds, and she put money into a registered retirement fund every year. There were the kids’ college funds, too, but none of those was easily accessible.
Looking at the time, she decided it wasn’t worth going back to work. She knew that she needed to talk to Geoff about the problem, but she didn’t feel ready to do that. Instead she walked to a nearby park, and sat on a bench, trying to collect her thoughts. It was deserted that time of year, and she was glad to be alone. The air was cool, but the sun was shining. She pulled her jacket tightly around her and turned her face to the sun, wanting to block out all the unpleasant thoughts and feelings that were swirling around inside her head. She wanted to make them go away. If only for a moment, she wanted to remember the peaceful feeling she’d come to know in the past week, but the thoughts were persistent. How could he do this? Why did he let things get so out of control? What are we going to do?
She could tell she was spiraling downward but felt powerless to stop the thoughts that were propelling her in that direction. Why did this happen now, just when things were looking brighter? How did I create this? Suddenly all she’d learned and experienced in the recent weeks meant nothing. Feeling as lost and hopeless as ever,
she began to cry.
The sky had clouded over and the wind began to pick up. It was piercing through her jacket now, making her cold. Jenna sat there for a few more minutes, shivering, trying to decide what to do. Going home would make the situation seem even more real. A confrontation was inevitable, but she wanted to deal with her emotions first. Only, she didn’t know where to go or even how to begin.
Drying her eyes, she began walking toward the train. She waited on the platform, lost in her thoughts. People were all around her, yet she felt completely alone. A train pulled up, but it wasn’t hers, so she stood out of the way.
“Hi Jenna.” It was Rachael’s voice. “I didn’t see you at work this afternoon. Did you leave early?”
“I had an appointment at the bank.” Jenna did her best to hide what she was feeling.
Rachael looked at her with concern. “Are you all right?” she asked, touching Jenna’s arm.
The tears were just below the surface, and Jenna couldn’t hold them back. She couldn’t even speak. Rachael put her arm around her and led her away from the crowd.
“I’m sorry,” Jenna said, after they’d walked a bit. “You missed your train.”
“That’s okay,” Rachael reassured her. “Do you want to talk about this?”
Jenna wanted to hear Rachael’s comforting words and her encouragement, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to share all the details.
“Something happened today,” Jenna sniffed, “and I just don’t know how to deal with it. I want to feel better, but this seems too big.”
“How does it make you feel?”
“Scared,” Jenna admitted.
“Okay, something happened and you feel fear,” Rachael repeated. “That’s what is. You can’t change what just happened, but now let’s try to get you to a better feeling place.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Jenna snapped. “Maybe it is for you, but not everybody can feel better just like that.”
