by Jeane Watier
Rachael loved the idea of limitless possibilities. There was nothing that couldn’t be accomplished if a person believed in the possibility of it. Her life was proof of that—now more than ever. Brian had just been an idea, a possibility, and now he was real.
The phone rang, and she saw ‘Brian DeWaltt’ on the call display. “I was just thinking about you,” she confessed, not waiting for him to say hello.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you all night.”
“Are you coming over soon?” She couldn’t wait to see him again.
“I can be there in fifteen or twenty minutes. Are you ready?”
She laughed, “Well, it depends on what you mean by ready. I’m actually still in the tub.”
“In that case, I’ll be there in two,” he joked. “Seriously though, do you need more time?”
“No. Just come.”
She dried herself off and put on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. She pulled her hair into a ponytail. After brushing her teeth, she glanced in the mirror. “You look lovely this morning,” she said aloud to her reflection. “You’re going to have an awesome day.” It was a ritual she’d begun a few years back at the suggestion of her therapist. Being depressed had taken a toll on her self-esteem, and since then she made a conscious effort to compliment herself. Understanding now that she was Divine substance in visible form, it made even more sense.
Brian arrived minutes later. The dogs were in the vehicle, eagerly awaiting their morning run, but he stepped inside her front entry and closed the door behind him. Rachael smiled and melted into his embrace. They stood there holding each other for a few moments. “Last night was fantastic,” he said as he kissed her.
“I know,” she agreed. “It was perfect.” She put on her coat and scarf, and they headed out the door. Brian was driving a sport-utility vehicle that Rachael recognized from their first meeting at the park. He let the dogs out of the back and offered Cassie’s leash to Rachael.
They walked the block and a half to the park and then let the dogs run free. It was fun watching them. Duke would run circles around Cassie then crouch down right in front of her and bark. She ignored him the first couple of times, but the third time, she pounced on top of him and they rolled on the grass like puppies. After a few minutes Cassie got up, shook herself off, and came back to Brian and Rachael. Duke ran after her, but Cassie ignored him as if to say that she no longer wanted to play his childish games.
Brian took a ball out of his pocket and threw it. Both dogs watched it intently, but sat and waited for his signal. At Brian’s command, Duke took off after the ball. Pulling another one from his pocket, Brian threw it in the same direction. As before, Cassie remained still until he gave the signal.
“You must spend a lot of time teaching them,” Rachael said in awe. “I’ve never seen dogs that are so well trained.”
“Steve spent time with Cassie when she was a pup. I haven’t spent as much time training Duke. He’s picked up most of it from her. They’re both really smart dogs.”
“I can see that, and I can see how much they love you; they’d do anything just to please you.”
Cassie retrieved the ball and dropped it at Brian’s feet. Duke still had the other in his mouth and was dancing around. “He hasn’t quite got this one yet.” Brian picked up Cassie’s ball. When Duke saw the ball in Brian’s hand, he dropped his. Brian threw the balls again, and when the dogs took off, he put his arm around Rachael. “So, are you busy tonight?”
“Well, actually, I met this really cute guy, and I was hoping he’d ask me out,” she teased.
“If he doesn’t, would you settle for me?”
“Maybe. What did you have in mind?” She was enjoying the joking, but in her head, the word settle echoed—as if he was someone to settle for. She could hardly believe she was dating him.
“What about a nice home-cooked meal,” Brian suggested. “Afterward, we could curl up on the sofa with a glass of wine. Maybe watch a movie?”
“Ohhh,” Rachael groaned. “That sounds so appealing, but I have to say something before we go any further. It wouldn’t be fair to lead you on.”
“What is it?” Brian looked concerned.
“I can’t cook; I don’t know how.” She threw her hands in the air and laughed uncomfortably. “There, now you know.” She looked away.
He gently touched her chin, turning her face up to his. “It just so happens, that I was offering to cook for you. I’m no gourmet chef, but I do all right.” He kissed her. “Rachael, I don’t care whether you can cook or not.”
“I’ve always meant to learn, but it was just easier to eat out or heat up something instant,” she confessed. “Gail teases me about it all the time.”
“Now wait a minute,” Brian objected. “Is learning to cook something you want to do, or are you feeling like you should? I remember you saying something the other night about not doing ‘shoulds’ anymore.”
“I guess I should practice what I preach.”
“Should?” He laughed and she realized she’d used the word again.
Rachael laughed with him, but underneath she could feel the discomfort of negative emotion. It was telling her there was more to the subject than she’d realized. “I’m going to clean up my vibration on that,” Rachael declared. “I think I’d like to learn how to cook one day, but I’ve been critical of myself for not knowing how, and that doesn’t feel good.”
Cassie was lying on the path ahead of them, with the ball between her front paws. Duke was checking out another dog across the park. Brian called both dogs to him, and they came running. “I told Tracy I’d be at the bar by one. Phil has an appointment, so he can’t make it in till later. Why don’t we head back to your place?” Brian suggested.
As they walked back, Brian asked, “When you clean up your vibration, what do you do exactly?”
“Well, thoughts are energy, right? Rachael reminded him. “When we think, we’re sending out vibrations, which then attract things back to us. My feelings help me to know whether the thoughts I’m sending out are going to be attracting things I want or things I don’t. So if I think a thought and realize that it doesn’t feel good, I can work on changing that thought pattern or belief system before something I don’t want manifests.”
“So by changing your thoughts, you can control what happens to you,” he said slowly, still trying to absorb it. “It really is a science, then.”
“It’s scientific, but it’s practical too. That’s why I love it so much. It’s all based on fundamental laws of the universe—laws I can use moment by moment to make my life better. The book I’m reading right now is fascinating. The author says, ‘To learn how to think is to learn how to live.’13 He describes God as a Universal Mind which we’re all part of.”
“I’d like to read that. What’s the name of it? I’ll pick up a copy.”
Rachael gave him the name of the book. She was thrilled that he wanted to read it. Learning new things was invigorating to her, and the thought of discussing them with Brian was even more exciting.
When they reached her house, she asked, “Do you want to come in for a bit? The dogs can come in, too,” she added.
“I’ve got a few minutes, but I think I’ll put the dogs in the vehicle.” He opened up the back, and they jumped right in. “They might get a bit rowdy in the house.”
As they walked inside, Brian said, “So tell me more about what you’re learning. I’m hooked. I want to know more.”
“It’s all so fascinating!” Rachael beamed as she curled up beside Brian on the sofa. “I’ve been studying this for almost three years now. The message is really quite simple, but I keep getting it at deeper and deeper levels.”
“Maybe I should start with the basics then; this is all new to me.”
“I have tons of teaching CDs that I could lend you,” Rachael offered. “They really helped to re-pattern my thinking. I used to listen to them in my car and at home almost nonstop. I just couldn’t get enough at first
.”
“That would be great. I enjoy reading, but I don’t always find time to do it.”
“This book talks about a Divine pattern at the center of our being. As we focus on the wholeness and perfection of that pattern, everything in our outer experience begins to conform to it. His writing is based on scientific principles and universal laws,” she continued. “But he writes with such poetic, descriptive language. Here, let me read you something.” She picked up her book from the coffee table and flipped through a few pages. “Here it is.”
I lay aside all anxiety, all striving and let the Divine Love operate through me into my affairs. Joyfully I anticipate greater abundance, more success and a deeper peace. Joy wells up within my mind, and Life sings its song of ecstasy in my heart.14
“That’s nice,” Brian agreed. “It’s comforting too. I like the idea of letting go and trusting that Divine part of ourselves.”
“That pretty much sums up my life. It’s so easy now. I just anticipate good things, and they come to me.” She turned to another page where she’d underlined some passages and continued to read.
“I love the sound of your voice,” he said when she’d finished. “We’ll have to do this more often.”
“I’d love that.”
“I should really go.” He stood up and pulled her up after him. They walked toward the door.
“Should?” she mocked playfully.
In response, Brian drew her into his embrace and held her body close to his as he kissed her deeply. Her knees were weak when he finally released her. “That’s what I’d rather be doing.” He reached for his coat. “I’ll be at the bar till about four. That’s when Phil’s coming in. I have to pick up some groceries for dinner. I could pick you up then, or I could start dinner first and then come by.”
“Why don’t I just come over to your place…say around five-thirty?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind.” He kissed her again and smiled. “I’ll see you later.”
Chapter 23
Jenna woke up a little disoriented. The house was unusually quiet. Geoff was up already, and the brightness in the room told her it was past nine o’clock. She lay back on her pillow, remembering the special time they’d had the night before. It was good to feel that closeness again. They’d talked about so many things—their hopes, their concerns, their dreams for the future. She recalled the powerful longing that had erupted when she’d told Geoff about wanting to be an interior decorator. It’s a nice dream, she acknowledged, but last night it felt like a possibility. Now it seems unrealistic. We need the income that my job provides, and there’s no extra money for me to take any courses right now, even if I was to do it part time.
As she let her thoughts go in this new direction, she realized that her emotions had changed—she was feeling discouraged. I want to feel good, she sighed. Looking over at her mother’s picture, she asked silently, Is being an interior decorator really a possibility?
In answer to her question, Rachael’s words echoed in her mind: ‘There’s nothing you can’t be, or do, or have.’ Jenna wanted to believe it. She knew how the process worked; she needed to reach for thoughts that felt better. As she lay there, she tried to think about interior decorating in a positive way, but she kept thinking about the reality of what was; she simply couldn’t imagine how things could change enough to allow her to start a new career.
Geoff came into the bedroom and handed her a cup of coffee. She breathed in the delicious aroma. “Thanks,” she smiled.
The kitten had followed him in, so he scooped her up and set her on the bed. Then he sat down beside Jenna, leaned back, and put his hands behind his head. Jenna relaxed against his chest. It felt so good to be together in that way—connecting, communicating.
“I’ve been thinking about what you mentioned last night,” Geoff said casually. “…about wanting to decorate houses.”
“I have too.” Jenna looked at him, surprised that they were thinking the same thoughts. “It felt really good last night, but this morning, all I can think of is how unrealistic it is.”
“Babe, you’ve been so supportive of my dreams. I want to help you with yours. There has to be a way to make this possible. Maybe not right away, but eventually.”
‘Eventually’ seemed so far away. Jenna felt her emotions drop again. I don’t want to get my hopes up over something that may never happen. It would be easier just to let go of it now. She looked to her mother’s picture for support.
“I’m glad you put that picture out.” Geoff glanced over at the new frame. “How do you feel about all that now?”
“I feel okay about my past,” Jenna replied truthfully. She stroked the kitten and it began to purr. “Rachael helped me to see that I didn’t have to go back and dig up all those unpleasant memories. Plus, I feel a connection to my mom now.” Jenna described her experience in the car. “I feel like she’s there for me—like she’s guiding me.”
“Maybe she could give you some guidance about becoming a decorator.”
Jenna nodded, thankful to Geoff for his support.
“I’ve been thinking,” Geoff turned to her with a serious look on his face. “Jim made me promise that when I thought about our business, especially this deal, that I’d think about it the way I’d like it to be, not the way it seems to be right now.
“I don’t know…” he paused. “There’s something to this kind of thinking. Last night I was lying awake, and I started imagining what it would be like if it all worked out. I pictured myself shaking hands with old Arthur and having a drink with all the investors, celebrating our victory. It felt so real. It was almost like it already happened, and I was just remembering it. Maybe...if I could keep thinking like that, it could actually happen.”
Geoff’s words were so similar to what Rachael had been telling her, Jenna suspected that Jim knew about the Law of Attraction, too. “It seems like Jim has been telling you the same things that Rachael’s been telling me. She says it’s not our job to find the solutions to our problems. Our only work is to feel better. Once we feel better, things take care of themselves. I saw that happen the other day after I talked to the bank.”
“It happened to me too.” Geoff told her about his image of living in an apartment and seeing the kids on weekends. “When I started thinking about how much I love you and the great life we have together, things became clearer. That’s when I decided to inquire about the bonds, and that’s when I knew I had to sell the bike.”
“Are you really sure about that?”
“Yes,” Geoff said with conviction. “I am. I realized something else, too. When I finished the bike and there was nothing more to do on it, I felt a little bit disappointed. I mean, I like riding it and everything, but I think what I really liked was puttering around on it, locating parts, and seeing it come together.”
“Maybe you could get another one someday and fix it up,” Jenna suggested.
“Yeah, I’d like to. Maybe when Brenton’s a little older—then we can work on it together.”
Jenna’s heart swelled. Geoff was a good father, a kind man, and she loved him more in that moment than she had in a very long time. Things were truly beginning to turn around. She didn’t know how much he’d get for his bike, but between that and the bonds, she knew they’d be fine, at least for now. She didn’t mind cutting back on some of their expenses, either. She felt confident now that things would work out. Setting her coffee mug down, she slipped her arms around Geoff.
“Let’s do this together,” Geoff spoke the words softly as he held her. “Let’s encourage each other to keep dreaming.”
“I’d like that.”
~
As much as Rachael enjoyed being with Brian, she was glad to have a few hours to herself. She wanted to meditate and write in her journal. She wanted to give some thought to their conversation that morning. The subject of cooking had brought up some feelings she hadn’t been aware of.
She sat down on the couch, closed her eyes and listened to the
sound of her breathing. Meditation to her was relaxing. It was being still. She liked to focus on her breathing, listen to the sound of a clock ticking, or just think good-feeling thoughts. She didn’t believe it was always necessary to clear her mind. To her, it mattered how she felt; if the thought she was thinking felt good, she welcomed it, if not she dismissed it.
As she relaxed and began to feel the connection to her Inner Being, she asked, Why am I feeling this negative emotion over not knowing how to cook?
After a few minutes, the answer began to form in her mind. She realized that when she was a kid, mealtimes were often stressful. She never actually saw her mom and dad fight, but she knew now that she’d felt the tension between them. She realized that she’d subconsciously associated mealtime and cooking with marital problems and divorce. Her mom was a good cook, but after her dad left, Rachael was often left on her own to heat up something quick or else they would order in.
She eagerly wrote down the insights she’d just received. When she finished, she closed her book and proclaimed aloud, “I don’t know a lot about cooking, but that’s okay. One day, when it feels right, I may decide to learn, but for now I’m perfect just the way I am.” Rachael breathed a contented sigh as she released the negative emotion—emotion that she’d been holding on to for years. It felt tremendous to finally let it go.
It was three-fifteen, and she still had two hours before she needed to leave for Brian’s. She decided to give Gail a call.
“Hey, Rach, I was just thinking about you. How was your date last night?”
“It was perfect,” Rachael beamed and then added, “better than perfect.”
“Does that mean you can cross some of those firsts off your list?”
“Oh, definitely,” Rachael laughed.
“All right!” Gail cheered. “How was it? Did he come to your place or did you go to his?”
