by V. Domino
I message back that I’m on my way and slide in the driver’s side. Before I can start the car, I see Mother in her long black dress and a grey coat walking in my direction. Her face is completely covered in heavy makeup and her mascara is running down. She has spent half of the funeral crying. Fucking crocodile tears, just like everyone in this goddamn Famiglia. It’s all so fake that it’s laughable.
I open the window down as she approaches my side with a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. Underneath all that she looks extremely tired. Probably from another fight with Father.
“You’re going home?” she asks and I simply nod even though I am not. There’s no reason to tell her that I’m driving to Savannah’s.
My relationship has been a topic to avoid in my family. Father, ever since Noah has been notified about Savannah, walks around angry that I went behind his back. Not that I had any other choice. I know he’s just waiting for the slightest screw up on my part, giving me the worst jobs. My twin brother, Fabro, keeps on making snarky comments about her to play on my nerves, and it’s been extremely hard not to bash his fucking face in the wall. Only Mother asks me about Savannah sometimes which I always answer vaguely. The fewer people know about us, the better. However, I can see that she seems relieved whenever she mentions anything. With all the darkness and suffering that has been a constant in our family home, it’s no wonder she probably has lost hope for any of us turning out somewhat decently.
I’m not good, nor do I want to ever be but Savannah is a completely different matter. I don’t have to be anything other than what I am with her. Of course, she does whatever possible to ignore my job and that part of my life, but never have I heard her making me choose or telling me how she wishes I could leave. I won’t and she knows and accepts it.
“What is it, Mother?” I rush her. It’s cold since it’s the end of December and I really don’t care enough to let her small talk for another hour.
Her expression shifts slightly showing that she’s hurt by my hurry but doesn’t say anything about it. Per usual she hides her feelings as if it was to do any good to either of us. I got used to it by now and can easily see through her bullshit, but I’m done trying to make her see reason. Maybe Father would punish her for disobedience or something as simple as having her own opinion, I wouldn’t.
“Will you come to Christmas dinner tomorrow?”
Damn it.
Christmas is never something I enjoy celebrating. I’m used to getting drunk with a few soldiers in a bar, fucking yet another girl and passing out in my car later. Surely it wouldn’t be the case this year, however, spending this time with my family is as far from what I desire as humanly fucking possible.
Ever since I was a kid that was something I was dreading because every wrong word would earn me a harsh punishment from Father. And back then I wasn’t strong enough to say something or protect myself. So I always rushed through the meal and returned to my bedroom until it was time for our parents to go to the Christmas banquet that one of the captains from Henderson used to organize for as long as I can remember. Fabro and I were left with a babysitter and had a little bit more freedom for the rest of the night.
The tradition still upholds. However, now that I’ve become a fully pledged Made Man I give no shit whether Father agrees with me or not because he wouldn’t dare to go against me in a fight. Not anymore. That was the only reason why he tried to turn Noah Falcone against me. Because Capo dei Capi is the only person who can actually do something about it. And, after dinner, I go to the banquet. A boring ass event that I try really hard not to fall asleep at.
This time around I wouldn’t be alone and as great as it sounds, I don’t want to take Savannah to another Las Vegas Famiglia event. Not after the auction because she will spend the whole night scared that something is about to happen. On top of being treated as an animal in a zoo since she’s an outsider crashing the party with Capo’s blessing.
Yet we didn’t talk about it.
“I won’t. I have other plans,” I say.
Her hand reaches out to me, putting it on my shoulder. “Please, Elio. I haven’t seen you in a while. You can take Savannah with you. She’s always welcome in our house,” she pleads, desperation clear in her voice.
Normally, I would say “no” straight away. And I really should. But annoyingly, there’s still a part of me who believes that she’ll see reason and do something to change her life. It’s really stupid, but I also think that if there’s a person who can influence her at this point, it might be Savannah.
When I met Savannah, I found myself thinking that everyone should be like her. With all those selfless acts, soft exterior but at the same time a fucking strong interior. It wouldn’t do me any good as an Enforcer but she still pulls my strings every day. Maybe that’s the way. Maybe where I failed, Savannah would be successful.
I look at the woman again and sigh. “I’ll think about it.”
With that being said, I close the window and pull out of the parking lot.
“Alright, what is it?”
I lean my back against the kitchen counter, focusing all of my attention on Elio. Ever since he came he’s been deep in thoughts and barely acknowledges anything I tell him. That only happens after a tough job which I know isn’t the case today. Yet, there is something bothering him.
His eyes settle on me, conflict written in them. “We haven’t talked about Christmas and what we want to do,” he tells me quite seriously.
We’re such an odd couple, judging by how different we are from each other that things like Christmas don’t really cross my mind anymore. It almost seems too…. pure? Normal? Celebrating a Christian festivity as if any of us even believed in God. When I was little my parents still tried to celebrate Christmas and I remember getting a few small gifts here and there, however, it all changed and now the extent of what’s happening every year is me ordering food and spending time with my brother watching movies. Well…. movie. Aiden always insists on watching Prancer as it’s his favourite. That’s how we like it and I haven’t considered that now it might change with Elio in the picture.
He runs his fingers through his hair, messing it a little. I love it when he does it because he seems almost normal. Wearing a dress shirt and pants with perfectly styled hair and shaved is his usual go-to. Now he has a few clothes here and no longer looks like a businessman.
He is in a white t-shirt that shows off his broad shoulders, the veins prominent in his arms. His black sweatpants hang low on his hips, accentuating his strong thighs. With his five o’clock shadow he almost looks like any other guy his age. Only much more handsome and intimidating whenever his green eyes focus on me.
With a rub on his jaw, he pushes towards me, his strong scent mixed with tobacco weaves its way to my nostrils. I still think that he should quit smoking because his lungs are going to give up on him sooner than it’s intended. But even I have to admit that he looks hot with the cigarette in-between his full lips that I adore kissing so much.
“I usually spend time with Aiden here,” I say.
“I suspected as much.” Pause. His hands rest on my hips. “My mother wants me to come to their stupid Christmas dinner. And probably to show up at the banquet later on.”
I shiver at the word ‘banquet’. And it doesn’t take Elio long to catch up to my train of thought. He presses his body to mine, kissing my forehead. I close my eyes, relishing in this feeling. He always knows how to help me relax.
“You can go if you want.”
Who am I to order him around? I’d never do that especially when I wouldn’t appreciate it myself. It’s his life, his family and that part of his life I have no intention of being in. He knows that and doesn’t push me. We’re already walking the thin line between what is acceptable in Famiglia and what isn’t. Any other step is bound to be betrayal. One that neither of us can survive.
Elio shakes his head. “I didn’t tell you this to get your approval, Savannah,” he explains. “I want you
to come with me. Just to this family dinner thing. Then we can come straight here or go to my place with Aiden.”
My heart skips a beat. Am I ready to face his family? His father and brother? I am not welcome there and I know it. The only reason why Elio even asks me this must have something to do with his mom. The only person who he still feels any sentiment towards.
Then Aiden comes to my mind at once. “I can’t leave Aiden alone and I don’t want to bother Frank with babysitting. He’s older and needs his peace.”
“If you ask I’m sure he’ll gladly agree. Besides, it’s just two hours tops. We are going to be back before you know it. You’ll see.”
That isn’t true and we both know it. If this dinner goes without any conflict, I’ll be surprised.
I cross my arms over his chest.
Damn those eyes. Even if I wanted to refuse, there’s just no way in hell I can do that. He has such power over me that it’s scary. Then he places his hands on both sides of me on the counter and closes the space between us, his lips inches from mine.
“Does your silence mean ‘yes’, baby girl?” he murmurs, his nose moving down my temple. The heat spreads in my abdomen making each breath a struggle. There is so much we should talk through but somehow it’s never at the forefront of our minds because we are used to dealing with things as they go, not overthinking what hasn’t happened yet. And with the tenderness that I feel on my hip, I know that Elio wants to be done with the topic of Christmas.
He’s staring at my mouth and I wonder how long he’s going to wait to kiss me. He likes playing games and as much as I hate them, they get me even more bothered than I care to admit.
“I am not saying yes,” I answer quietly, leaning my head back so I can look at him properly.
I want him to know that I’m serious. That I still need time to think about it. Yes, I know that I’ll end up agreeing unless Frank refuses to take Aiden in. However, he loves that little guy almost as much as I do, so I cannot imagine him leaving me hanging. Even if it is for me to spend more time with Elio. After my fight with Elio about our nonexistent future way back when, and seeing me coming back home in tears, Frank has never backed my decision to move past this and give Elio another chance.
People might change, Savannah. But if circumstances don’t, nothing is going to help you overcome it. Those were the words he said once and never again. He knows better than trying to make me see reason. He wants me to make my own choices. He’s going to be a part of my life, almost as if he’s my grandfather. He’s family and family accepts even if they don’t understand.
This time around I know Elio is genuine when he talks about our future. I know that our relationship will always be unconventional but my life has never been anything but. So this is my new reality. One that I know all too well. And I’m fine with that.
The smirk flashes on his face as his fingers find their way under my oversized hoodie, exposing my panties underneath.
“Elio, we are not alone,” I tell him.
“It’s almost midnight. Aiden is long asleep. You even tucked him in.” And with that assurance, his lips crash on mine in a hungry gesture. I return it at once, melting into his body and giving up my control. Just like I always do.
He trails his fingers up my thigh, hooking them under the thin material and slides it down my legs. I inhale loudly as my pulse picks up its pace. His touch soft on me, barely there and yet I’m already on cloud nine. My body is responding to it, sending millions of electric waves. He brushes my pussy and I tremble against him.
He runs his fingers through my slit, wetting it even more and spreading the moisture all over my pussy and inner thighs. Then he parts my lips. A moan escapes my mouth as I hide my face in his chest, trying to muffle the sound.
He pulls back. “Look at me, Savannah. I want you to watch me as I finger fuck you,” he says just when I thought I couldn’t get anymore damp. He always proves me wrong.
Fuck.
My hands find its way under his t-shirt, my nails scratching his back. Even though he ends up with red marks across his back every single time, he loves it. A groan confirms it. His hunger deepens, eyes flashing with that predatory look.
He’s in control.
He’s always in control.
I bite my lip, feeling the pleasure trying to break out in the shape of sharp moans if not screams.
Hesitantly, I lean my head back again. My eyes locked with his.
Meeting him was a coincidence. A terrible, unplanned occurrence. Becoming involved was a choice. A destructible, stupid decision. And falling in love with the man in front of me is still bound to happen. The one person who can destroy my life in a matter of seconds, who holds my life in the palm of his hand and is the most dangerous person I know, defends me from that said brutality. He’s the one who would die for me as if it’s nothing. He is all seven of the deadly sins that I don’t want to confess to.
How ironic is that?
We’re bad for each other in every possible way. We’re complete opposites in more ways than one. Yet we fit. Somehow our worlds collided.
“Spread your legs, baby girl,” he orders and as an obedient girlfriend - I do.
Elio kneels before me just as he pushes two fingers inside me all the way. Automatically I part further, feeling myself tightening around him. I can feel my nipples puckering against the hoodie from the overload of emotions.
Then I feel his mouth on me, tongue circling my clit as he still works his fingers inside. I move my hand to the back of his head, tangling it through his hair and tugging it lightly. He groans from the sensation but doesn’t stop.
His other hand grabs my ass cheek roughly, squeezing it. It’s the best feeling in the world. To have him so close to me, being intimate with a man that I love. Because I do. So much that it hurts to think that it might just as well be a fleeting moment that we can share.
I shake my head. This is not the time to get sentimental and emotional over something that could be.
“Elio,” I cry out.
He picks up the pace. I get closer with every push, my walls holding onto his fingers for dear life. My back was almost pressed against the counter from the greed that I feel. I want more. I need more.
Always.
Elio’s making me desire him in ways that I should feel shameful for. He makes me try things that society bashes people for. And I couldn’t care less about any of this as his tongue eats me out with the passion almost palpable.
“I want you to come all over my fingers, baby girl,” he tells me, his breath hot on me. I hold on to the counter with one hand to steady myself as I feel myself letting go.
I am close.
So damn close that my voice becomes louder and I don’t know how to be quiet anymore.
He spreads his fingers inside me and at that moment I’m done. I come on him just as he wanted me to. Shattering. Then he slides them out slowly as I watch him. A smirk paints on his lips when he gets back up on his feet. Inches away from me. His groin pressed to my stomach. He is hard just from making me come.
Elio brings the fingers covered in my juices to his lips and licks them off, his gaze still locked with mine.
I bite my bottom lip. Another wave of pleasure running through my body. So I get on my tiptoes and kiss him hungrily, tasting myself on him. He whirls his tongue around mine, grabbing my neck lightly. It is one of the best ways of showing his domination over me. I love it. Just as when he ties my wrists together or holds me down.
With no hesitation whatsoever, I push my hand inside his pants trailing his skin across the thin line of hair running from his belly button to his cock. But before I can feel him in my palm, he stops me.
I look up at him, breaking the kiss. Confusion most certainly flashing on my face.
“No,” he says firmly. He leans in as he bits on my earlobe a little bit. I can hear his heavy breath. “Turn around, baby girl. I’ll show you what not being quiet means,” he adds and I immediately go from being turned on to b
eing desperate.
Good Lord.
I have known that Christmas dinner is going to be a total disaster the moment Elio mentioned it. That’s why I am having second thoughts even though I haven’t even agreed to it yet. However, Elio clearly assumed that I did by the way he set the exact hour he’d pick me up tonight when he dropped me off at work and drove away before I could say anything.
We were supposed to talk about it like a normal couple so I should be angry at him for deciding for me. Being independent for years and years and in complete control of my life doesn't leave much room for allowing anyone to order me around. And I know that no matter the reason, it wasn’t Elio’s intention to make me feel like he did just that.
At the same time, I cannot even imagine a scenario where I’m going to go to this dinner of my own free will. But to some extent, I’m glad he took it upon himself to get me to attend. Everything in me screams ‘disaster waiting to happen’ when I think about how the whole evening can look like but it’s Elio’s family. Granted, it’s broken beyond repair and he doesn’t kid himself into thinking otherwise. But as his girlfriend I cannot be selfish here. I don’t like his work and most certainly don’t agree with everything he does but I do love him. So even though his father and brother hate me, I’ll do my best to survive this dinner.
So just as quickly as my anger comes towards Elio for showing his dominant side with me out of the bedroom, it is gone now that I’m walking back home with Aiden. I’m so happy that they still have the kindergarten opened today so that I could easily work and not worry where he was to stay. I didn’t want to bother Kate with babysitting when she probably wants to spend time with her family, too.
As always Aiden is quiet even when I try to make him talk just a little bit. I ask him about his day yet he feels no need to answer. Normally I don’t mind, however, the longer we stay quiet, the more I think and dread the Christmas dinner.
I look down at the boy, squeezing his small hand lightly until he glances my way. His black eyes settle on me.
