“What are you saying?” He couldn’t be thinking what I was thinking. I needed him to actually say it.
“You want to drive home? Make a few stops along the way?” he asked.
Maybe he really wanted to drive across America. Or maybe he didn’t want me to have to fly. The thought of that made me melt. Either way, I was so grateful. “I would love that,” I answered.
We waited out the front of the hotel the next morning. I was expecting some kind of convertible or SUV. What arrived was a beaten up van with a dingy mattress in the back and manmade sunroof.
“What do you think?” he asked me, a little apprehensive. “I found it on Craig’s List.”
“It’s brilliant,” I said, highly amused.
The staff at the hotel looked at it and us like we were crazy. Laurie took our fancy bags from the bellmen, who were frozen, confused and threw them into the back of the clunky van. He opened the passenger door for me and I jumped in. He ran around to the driver’s side, started the engine and took off out of the driveway, laughing a little at the wildness of the moment. He turned on the radio in the traffic. It was as if they knew we needed the perfect song to start our road trip. Within minutes we were speeding through a tunnel leaving New York City, screaming the lyrics of Cyndi Lauper’s ‘I drove all night.’
Eight
Laurie and I both thought Route 66 would take us from New York to Los Angeles. Turned out it started in Chicago. The first leg took seven hours. We stopped once along the way to eat at a truck stop diner where the only person who recognised us was a middle-aged man who had watched Jimmy Fallon that night and thought the performance was “top notch.”
We stopped at a gas station in Ohio to get some make-shift dinner and asked the clerk where we could sleep for the night. She suggested the Cuyahoga Valley National Park which had a “super awesome waterfall.”
We found the place easily and found an isolated spot to park. We took ourselves into the back with our chips and candy and soda and made ourselves a picnic on the ratty blanket. “I probably should have bought some new blankets and things. The guy said it was all washed.”
“It’s great,” I assured him. It smelled perfectly clean and the mattress was surprisingly comfortable. We looked up through the skylight. The stars were shining brightly above us. I couldn’t believe that was how we’d be sleeping for the next week. “This is amazing. I’m surprised you thought of it.”
He laughed a little. “What does that mean?”
I lay down a little to look up at the sky. “I don’t know. It’s not exactly five star.”
“You have to readjust your perception. Just because you’ve got some money and people know who you are… You’re the same person. You don’t stop liking chip butties because you can afford caviar. You don’t go through some huge change. Do you feel any different?”
“I’m not like you,” I said. I’m nowhere near his level of fame.
He shook his head. “You’re exactly like me. You’re me five years ago.”
I shook my head in disbelief. I thought about what he said and furrowed my brow. “What are chip butties?”
“Seriously?” he asked. “They’re the greatest thing you’ll ever put in your mouth. It’s a sandwich with butter and hot chips. Some people have it with ketchup or mayonnaise, but I prefer it with brown sauce.”
“That’s it?”
“You’ve got no idea, kid,” he said. “We’re gonna get you a chip butty and change your life.”
I laughed. He shuffled himself to rest on his elbow looking down at me. “Talia?”
I guessed straight away. There was a look people got when they wanted to ask me about the crash. I couldn’t explain what it looked like, just that every single person who’d ever asked me about it got the same look in their eyes. “You want to know about the crash,” I answered. He looked embarrassed for a second. “It’s okay. I get it’s a crazy thing.”
He swallowed. “What was it like?”
“The thing is that I don’t remember much. I was knocked out. I remember the turbulence and the explosion and the screaming.” As I said it, I heard it again in my head. I closed my eyes. I felt Laurie’s hand touch my cheek. He softly turned my head to face him. I opened my eyes.
“How did you survive it?” I guessed he was talking about the crash. How was I the only person to live through it? But it felt like a bigger question. And, I felt like it wasn’t over. I was still surviving it.
“I’m not sure,” I answered. “Just a fluke.”
“And, now all of this. Does it make you believe in something?” he asked. I turned over to face him. He moved further down and turned to face me.
“You mean God?” I asked.
“Anything,” he answered, as he let his hand move onto my waist and pull me closer.
“I don’t know that I believe in anything… otherworldly. I try not to think about any of it. Everything that’s happened feels unreal.”
“Even this?” he asked, his hand started moving down my stomach, to the button of my jeans.
“Especially this,” I said, closing my eyes as he unzipped my jeans.
“Open your eyes.” I did. He slipped his hand down my jeans and I gasped. His eyes shone in the moonlight as he kept his gaze steadily on me. As his hand moved, I struggled to keep my eyes open. He took his hand out and I whimpered. He got up to his knees and pulled down my jeans and then my underwear, all the while looking at me, hungry. He set them aside and then moved back to me, his hand tracing a path up my leg and back to where I was waiting for him.
He smiled as he slid his fingers around and then dipped one inside me. I grabbed his wrist, desperately. He grabbed both my hands in one of his and raised them over my head. I whined again, my eyes closed. “Keep them open,” he said, insistent.
Just as I opened my eyes, he dipped two fingers inside me, stretching me just a little. I bucked, wanting more. “Hold on,” he said, as he took the fingers out and brought them to his mouth. He put them inside and tasted me. He hummed a little, in appreciation.
“Laurie,” I said, breathless.
“Yeah?” he asked, amused.
“What are you doing to me?”
“I plan on making you scream my name. Is that alright?”
I was pulsing desperately. I tried to bring my legs together for friction. When that didn’t work, I tried to get my hands back. Laurie held them steadily with a smile.
“Laurie,” I pleaded.
“Yes, darling?” he said. I pulsed again at the endearment.
“Please.”
“Please what?”
“Make me come.”
“Until you’re screaming my name?” His hand found my inner thigh, it danced on my skin, teasing me.
“Yes.”
Then it was there, his thumb teased my clit as his fingers pounded into me. I rode his hand, feverishly, trying desperately to keep my eyes open.
“Another,” I begged.
He pushed in another finger and I let out half a scream. He let my hands go, trusting me. I kept them above my head. He pushed up my shirt and pulled down my bra, just enough that my breasts fell out, he ravished me with his mouth as his fingers worked. As he clasped around my nipple, and pressed heavily on my clit, I fell apart, screaming his name.
As I recovered my breathing, he brought his fingers once again to his mouth and licked them clean. He saw me watching and smiled a cocky grin. “You pleased with yourself?” I asked.
“Should I not be?” he asked.
I took a few more breaths, wiped my hair from where it stuck to my face and sat up. I took off my shirt and my bra and tossed them aside. Laurie put his hands behind his head and watched me. I climbed over to straddle him. He looked at me curiously.
“My turn.” I made quick work getting his belt off. “Give me your hands,” I ordered.
“Why?” he asked, eyeing the belt I kept in my hold.
“Trust me,” I said.
He eyed me for a moment,
deciding whether he would, and then brought his hands in front of him. I wrapped the belt around them and fastened it, tightly. Laurie hissed a little. I looked at him to gauge whether I should loosen the belt. “Go on,” he said with a smile. I tied the end of the belt to the metal pole holding up the head rest of the passenger seat.
I undid his jeans and pulled them down and off. He wore black Calvin briefs and he was rock hard already. I pulled them off next. His body was beautiful, all creamy tan and black pictures over his broad shoulders and lean torso. I grabbed him firmly in my hand. He hissed again, his fingers straining above him. I started kissing and sucking all over him, as I stroked him firmly. I made my way down to his length, which had grown longer and thicker and harder. He looked down at me, his mouth open, groaning, as I took a breath and took him in deeper.
His body practically vibrated, his abs revealing themselves as he tensed. The passenger seat rattled as he tried to rip his hands from the belt. I worked him harder until he was moaning my name. I kept my mouth locked on him as he came. I swallowed it all and licked him clean. He looked at me through hazy eyes.
“Shaw?”
I undid the belt and released his hands. He was quick to take hold of my jaw and kiss me, gently. I pulled away and smiled at him.
“This was a fucking great idea.”
I laughed. He grabbed me and pulled me down. We lay, wrapped up in each other.
The van had heated up. It smelled like sex. We fell asleep in seconds.
* * *
The sun woke us up. It filtered through the leaves, a mixture of burnt orange and a luminous green coming from the deep oak trees. It was beautiful. “Laurie,” I whispered. Laurie was lying on his stomach, facing away. I pulled him to turn him over.
“What?” he said and started to open his eyes. “Oh, wow.”
“Let’s go see the waterfall,” I suggested. He nodded.
We got ourselves ready, using a big bottle of water to brush our teeth. “I might need a shower, eventually.”
“I’ll just hold the bottle over your head,” Laurie suggested. I laughed. “Or we’ll swim in the waterfall.”
We drove to the spot the clerk had pointed out to us on the map. It was called Brandywine Falls. It was only 6:30am, and a Tuesday, so we were the only ones in the carpark. We took the stairs down. There were hundreds of them. The sound was quiet at first and then a roar. Finally we saw it, white water rushing over levels of rock like stairs down to a river below.
“Pretty,” I said, as we reached the lookout.
“Shaw?” Laurie called.
I turned my head and he snapped a picture on his iPhone. “Hey!”
“Beautiful,” he said. He came over to me and held up the phone for a selfie. I gave the smallest of smiles, but Laurie smiled so brightly and cheesily that it made me smile, naturally. I took the phone from him and looked. It was a good picture. I sent it to myself. “Don’t post it, Shaw.”
“I won’t,” I said, defensively.
“It’s not for my sake,” he said, though I didn’t know what he meant by that. He took the phone back and sent me the one of myself. “You should post this one. You look great.”
He threw an arm over my shoulder and we started back up the stairs. I looked at the picture he sent me. It was a good shot. Katie had told me I needed to be more active or she would put someone else in charge of my Instagram. I posted it.
We got back on the road and I took the wheel. Laurie took my guitar and played me songs. The classics. His voice was so smooth and soothing. I wanted to hear his songs.
“Can I make a request?” I asked.
“Of course,” he answered.
“Will you play ‘I Have to Try’?”
He laughed a little. “It’s been a long time.” He strummed a little, letting his fingers remember the song. Then he started singing. It was from his earliest album. It was about getting knocked down in love and trying over and over again. When he finished, I slowed down the van just to clap for him.
“It’s one of my favourites,” I said.
“Yeah?” he asked.
I nodded. “Can I ask… is it for someone? About someone?”
“It might be,” he smiled, coy. “My mother.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised.
“You know she and my Dad divorced when I was three.” I nodded, he’d told me. “Well, she had a few boyfriends before she married my stepdad. None of them were great guys. They all fought like crazy. There was a lot of drama. Moving in and moving out of houses with them. Watching Mom go through all these periods where she was deliriously happy and then just destroyed.”
“That sounds awful, Laurie. For you and Rooney.”
“It wasn’t fun. We never complained. We just wanted her to be happy. We don’t blame her. I know she thinks we do. Or she thinks I do. But I don’t.”
“Why does she think you blame her? And not Rooney?”
“It seemed to make Rooney more determined to get married and have a family. To do it right.”
“Ah,” I understood then. “And made you a cynic.”
He scoffed. “I’m not cynical. I’m realistic.”
“What is your idea then? Realistically?” I asked.
He looked at me carefully. “Relationships aren’t supposed to last forever.”
I smiled, sadly. “That’s not very romantic.” My heart hurt a little at the thought.
He turned to look at me, a little insistently. “Why not? I’ve been in love. I just don’t demand that it last forever. I don’t try and force it. Life’s too short to be fighting all the time. I just want to be happy.”
“That makes sense,”I said. “But, do you ever think that while you’re expecting things to end, you’re closing yourself off? Missing out on whatever comes after the fighting. What comes with years of being with someone and knowing them completely?”
Laurie furrowed his brows and shook his head. “I know what comes after fighting. More fighting. Or just giving up. Nah. It’s not for me.”
I looked ahead at the road. Laurie put the guitar in the back. “It’s a little depressing.”
“What?”
“That your relationship is going toward an inevitable end.”
“Most do,” Laurie argued.
“But what’s the point of trying if you just assume failure?”
“Why does it have to be a failure? A relationship can be worthwhile, even if it doesn’t last forever. Doesn’t make it a failure.”
I nodded. “That’s true.”
“Look at us,” Laurie said. “I don’t demand that this last forever but it’s pretty fucking good right now, innit?”
I laughed. He looked at me, pushing for a response. “Yeah.”
“Tell me about your parents,” Laurie said, turning around and resting his back against the passenger door. So, I did.
* * *
We drove from Ohio through Indiana and into Chicago, through a town called Gary, which I found hilarious. I told Laurie that, in Australia, there was a brand of flavoured milk called Gary and he refused to believe me. Then finally we were on Route 66.
We visited the Native American site Cahokia Mounds in Missouri. I took a photo of Laurie standing by the sign welcoming us to Lawrence, Kansas. We went line dancing in Oklahoma, ate scorched barbeque in Texas and slept in the desert in New Mexico. Parts of the journey were derelict, we drove through several ghost towns, but other parts were restored and retro and cool. And, there were so few people along the road. Sometimes Laurie and I were stopped, people wanted photos or either of us or both of us. But mostly we were on our own. Manny and Katie called a few times but I ignored them. I sent photos to Mom and Dad and Saffy but mostly we stayed off our phones.
It felt like we were in our own world. It was blissful, driving, singing, sleeping, fucking, talking under the stars.
Teddy rang just as we were heading out of Arizona. “Hey.”
“Hey. How’s it going?”
“Really good.” I ans
wered.
“I wanted to say congratulations on the record.”
I furrowed my brows. “What record?”
“1 mil in the first week. Haven’t you talked to Manny?”
“No.” I had forgotten the album was even coming out.
“You hit 1.2 in about four days, Talia.” Sales. Was he talking about album sales?
“Oh my god. How is that possible?”
“It’s incredible,” he answered.
“Thank you.” He didn’t sound so enthusiastic. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, of course.” I was glad to realise I knew him enough to know when he was lying to me.
“What’s happened?” I said, with a tone that said there was no room for arguing he was fine.
He let out a breath. “Georgia and I are over.”
I tutted. “What happened?”
He took a while, as if thinking. “It just wasn’t working out.”
I’d get him to tell me in person. “I’m sorry, Teddy.”
“It’s fine. Actually, it’s shit. I need a fucking drink. It’s given me material though. I’ve been writing a song for the next album.”
That stopped me. “Do you think the label will want another?”
“Did you hear what I said, Talia?” He sounded exasperated. “1.2 million in four days. You’ve got to stop thinking this is all going to go away. It’s not going away.”
I took a breath. Now I needed a drink.
“Where are you guys?” Teddy asked.
“About to reach Nevada. Actually… do you… do you want to meet us in Las Vegas?”
“Really?”
Laurie was looking at me, confused. “Why the hell not? Are you free?”
“For the next few days, definitely.”
“Fly out. We’ll go get good and drunk.”
“Okay. Why the hell not,” he answered, a little excitement finally in his voice.
“See you soon,” I said.
“Bye, Talia.”
I hung up and looked to Laurie. “Vegas?” he asked.
I smiled, nervously. “Is that okay? Teddy sounded like he needs to cut loose.”
Bright Lights: Book One of the Talia Shaw Series Page 13
