by Nicola Shill
Usually, what kept her awake were thoughts of home seeping through her drowsily defenceless brain and causing her to lie awake enduring bitter pangs of bereavement. But tonight, she was thinking about Chayton.
After the humiliating incident with Chayton and his friends, Cassandra was careful to keep her eyes averted from his group whenever she was at the revelry. Sometimes she heard them burst into laughter, and she always imagined they were laughing at her, even though she knew logically they must have plenty of other things to laugh about. She hoped they weren’t sparing her a single thought.
At home, Cassandra barely saw Chayton. He and Brack were usually gone before she came out for breakfast, and when she arrived home at the end of the day, he was often either already gone or in his room getting ready for the revelry. Now that she was sharing a room with Tani, there was no chance of Chayton coming privately to her room and she was certainly in no position to seek him out. Without wings she couldn’t get into his room, so it would be up to him to catch her alone. But she was rarely left alone. When their paths did occasionally cross, he was very wary of Brack or Oonnora seeing him with her, so he tended to keep his distance, limiting interactions to short brother–sister type conversations. Cassandra still wanted some time alone with him to talk about what had happened at the revelry and find out whether or not they had any continuing relationship to speak of. But, although she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she was discovering that she felt curiously disenchanted. She still admired his looks – who wouldn’t? – and she still found her mind wandering back to those first three magical evenings with him and missing the romance of them and the sense of being loved. But she didn’t seem to be missing him. The amorous feeling that had swept over her whenever she was in his arms was now strangely absent. What was wrong with her? Was she emotionally deficient? It brought back memories of her ex-boyfriend, Tom. She had really agreed to be his girlfriend because everyone seemed to be doing it and her friends told her she’d be crazy not to. Tom was so popular. But she was never able to conjure up feelings much above boredom towards him, and often she just found him and the whole relationship crap annoying. Was it possible that she was cold and heartless and doomed to never experience grand passion?
She got up and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She found a glass and had just filled it with water when a pair of large hands came down heavily on her shoulders. A warm breath tickled her neck, and Chayton’s syrupy voice murmured, ‘How’s my new sister getting on?’
Cassandra put the glass down quietly and leaned back against Chayton’s big, hard body. What had she been thinking? She had missed him so much. It must have been some sort of subconscious self-preservation that had allowed her to believe she was indifferent to him. He leaned forward and kissed her neck. Her skin tingled, and she dropped her head to one side to give him better access.
‘That good, hmmm?’ Chayton’s hot breath sent chills down her spine as he murmured into her ear.
Cassandra tried to clear her passion-fogged brain. She needed to talk to Chayton. Their relationship wasn’t the same anymore, and they should discuss that before she permitted this to go any further. He’d hurt her badly when he had allowed her to be humiliated by his friends. He was popular enough that if he had set a good example by caring more about her treatment, he would have made her life much, much easier. She had believed that she was important to him and hoped that he would protect her, but he’d let his friends make sport of her. She was about to pull away from him and turn around to talk face-to-face when she heard Tani’s voice behind them.
‘Get your hands off her, you sleazy worm, before I tell Dad.’
Chayton jolted as if he’d been stung. He pushed Cassandra away and pivoted around to face Tani. Cassandra turned around too, suddenly feeling guilty and cheap – and a little ridiculous peeking out from behind Chayton.
‘Since when did you care?’ Chayton said. ‘This is none of your business, Tani.’
‘Since I realised how low you’d go. And it is my business because I’ve been given the responsibility of looking after her.’
‘At the revelry. Not here.’
‘Will we call Dad down and ask him? I’m sure he’d be very interested to know what’s been going on.’ Tani started to turn and raise her face to the atrium as if she was about to call out.
‘Okay, she’s all yours. I hope you’ll be very happy together.’ Chayton didn’t even spare Cassandra another glance as he launched himself like a rocket to his room.
‘Come on Cassandra,’ said Tani. She turned around and flew up to their room.
Cassandra trudged up the stairs after Tani. Her head was spinning with confusion. She seemed to be an emotional schizophrenic where Chayton was concerned. One minute she was struggling to remember what she had seen in him, the next she loved him with all her heart. Now she was feeling irritated with him, with herself and generally with the entire situation. She stepped into her bedroom, pushed the door closed and rolled heavily into her hammock.
‘He’s manipulating you,’ Tani said without any preamble.
‘What?’ Cassandra had expected Tani to ignore her at best, berate or tease her at worst. She assumed the intrusion had been motivated more by a desire to annoy Chayton than out of concern for her welfare.
‘He’s using subliminal influence on you to make you feel good, to make you believe you’re falling in love with him. It’s a game.’
Cassandra was less surprised than she should have been to hear that. Of course she knew what Tani was talking about. She had realised that Eerin, Oonnora and Ith had all used some kind of fae magic to heal and soothe her. Oonnora had done it by touch, but Ith and Eerin had not even needed that. Now that she thought about it rationally, rather than emotionally, it was obvious that the feeling of being in love with Chayton had always coincided with him touching her. How stupid was she? He had even flaunted his ability that first evening at dinner when he’d made her skin buzz.
And his friends would have been in on it. That night at the revelry, they had all known. She’d been the entertainment, and she could now not even comfort herself that Chayton had simply been obtuse or inattentive. He was the ringleader.
How could she ever show her face to any of them again?
The humiliation stung.
So, it was over. Or rather, ‘it’ had never existed: ‘it’ was an illusion. What did she care anyway? He really wasn’t her type. He was too pretty, too popular and, now, too shallow. And so were his friends. She found that she didn’t care that Chayton didn’t love her; she didn’t love him, either. But she did care that she was their sucker. She was mortified.
She wanting nothing more than to go to sleep – preferably forever. She would think about how she was going to face Chayton and his group later. Tani appeared to be already asleep and Cassandra, despite knowing it probably wasn’t true, was glad to go along with the charade. She was confused about why Tani had rescued her and betrayed her own brother by telling Cassandra what he was up to.
As they did every night, both girls faced their respective walls, pretended the other wasn’t there and went to sleep.
— CHAPTER 25 —
Face Up
Cassandra was nervous all the next day.
She took as much time as possible preparing to come down for breakfast in the morning, and – joy of joys – Chayton had already left. She spent the day being jumpy and snappy with the children until Iznaya sent her home early. Home held the danger of running into Chayton, but she didn’t want to be seen wandering around Gillwillan by one of his friends either, so she rushed back to the house, grabbed food from the kitchen and holed up in her bedroom as if it were a bunker to wait for the dreadful moment when she would be forced to go to the revelry.
It came too soon. She had eventually dozed off, only waking up when Tani came in to get ready. Cassandra rolled groggily out of her hammock.
‘Are you all right?’ Tani asked.
The automatic reply, ‘fine’,
was on Cassandra’s lips, but it occurred to her that twice now Tani had shown her, if not friendship, then at least some concern for her welfare, and she should not let it slip by.
‘I’ll be better when this night is over I think … I hope.’
Tani flashed Cassandra a look of sympathy and turned away to fossick in the wardrobe. She pulled a dress out for herself and then pulled one of Cassandra’s out.
‘Wear this.’
She had chosen a very simple, clingy dress, which Cassandra knew sat beautifully on her. It was a stunning emerald-green colour that made her look naturally pretty.
‘You want to avoid appearing to try too hard tonight,’ Tani explained.
She was right. Chayton and his friends would certainly by now realise that Cassandra was on to them and would be studying her for a reaction. She was glad for the small favour from Tani. She wouldn’t have been able to decide which way to go with her appearance tonight: bombshell ‘look at what you’re missing out on’, or utilitarian ‘I don’t care what you think’. Tani had chosen the perfect middle ground.
When the two girls left their room, Chayton was, unfortunately, waiting in the foyer. He let out a low wolf whistle as Cassandra walked down the stairs. A day ago, Cassandra would have been charmed, but now she recognised the derision in the gesture. At once, she knew how she was going to handle this. She refused to shrink and cringe like the victim they had set her up to be; she would face them head on. She lifted her chin and stared straight into Chayton’s eyes as she descended the stairs. When he looked uncomfortably away, she felt buoyed by the small victory. She was going to be all right. This night would be uncomfortable, no doubt about it, but she would get through it and possibly come out the other side stronger. Chayton took off the second he was through the front door.
The revelry was not as painful as Cassandra had thought it might be: not too much more painful than normal. She heard the usual bursts of laughter from the direction of Chayton’s group, and she continued to ignore them as she usually did. When Tani and some friends wandered over to the refreshment table, Cassandra accompanied them and found herself looking directly across the table into Chayton’s group. She started to turn around but then remembered her promise to herself not to shy away. She held her ground and forced herself to calmly stare at them – tried to actually feel calm. Prel, who had quickly become Cassandra’s least favourite member of the entire group (partly because she was always standing beside Chayton, partly because she always seemed to be the first to sneer at Cassandra, but mostly because she was mean and gorgeous and that shouldn’t be allowed), noticed Cassandra staring and glared back at her. Cassandra maintained eye contact until the girl giggled sheepishly and turned away. She said something to the group and they all turned to stare. Oh, this was bad. Could she do this? She swallowed down the lump in her throat, raised her eyebrows and held fast, all the while trying to calm her racing heartbeat before her whole body started vibrating in time to it and gave her away. She needed to blink. She needed to look away, almost as much as she needed to breathe. Here it comes: I’m going to lose this contest. And then the boy who had shaken her hand and made her bones feel like jelly – Rozad, Cassandra thought his name was – said something that she couldn’t hear, and the entire group laughed and looked away. Chayton persisted in watching her for a second more, and then his eyes darted to something at Cassandra’s right before he, too, turned away. Cassandra looked around and saw Tani standing behind her right shoulder, staring icily at the group also.
Hallelujah. It was over.
From then on, the revelry continued to be unpleasant but not as traumatic as the Chayton situation had been. Tani’s friends were slightly better than Chayton’s: they mostly just ignored her or, when they did speak to her, it was usually to remind her that humans were destructive morons and the only species on the planet whose extinction would be a relief to every other species. Apparently, the centenarians thought Brack’s request that she be treated as one of their own didn’t apply to them. She quickly learnt not to attempt to defend humans because it inevitably resulted in her accidentally giving them more ammunition to use against her.
Tani seemed to be fighting an inner battle with herself about how friendly she was willing to be with Cassandra. She occasionally made half-hearted attempts to draw Cassandra into the conversation, but the pressure to say something brilliant always cleared Cassandra’s brain of any thoughts at all, brilliant or otherwise, and she would end up mumbling an unintelligible monosyllable. Tani, having no intention of committing social suicide for Cassandra, would immediately disengage and leave her to her own devices.
The good news, from Cassandra’s point of view, was that the adults had gradually stopped being so vigilant over her. She learnt that she could slip away from the revelry early and go home to bed. She was becoming slick and shrewd at doing it. She knew the exact time when it was safe to leave: she would wait until the party was in full swing. By then, Tani would be in deep discussion with her friends about their latest scandal and Oonnora was usually dancing wildly, arms linked with anyone who was unfortunate enough to be close by. Cassandra marvelled at how intoxicated someone could be without the assistance of alcohol. This was the perfect moment to slink away unnoticed. By the time everyone else staggered home, no one would know exactly how much earlier she had left.
All she had to do was make it into the darkness without anyone noticing.
— CHAPTER 26 —
Interrogation
Cassandra skulked around the edge of the circle of light cast by the revelry fire, scanning the party-goers one last time to ensure that no one was looking her way.
When she was satisfied her retreat would go undiscovered, she backed out of the light. A few more steps and she would be free to turn tail and scurry home.
She backed directly into a huge, unyielding object that had definitely not been there a moment ago. She let out a startled yelp and spun around, smacking her hand over her heart as if to restart it. The sight that met her eyes did nothing to calm her fright. What she saw was an extremely tall and imposing male, dressed entirely in black.
Cassandra’s mind formed an instant mental picture of a pirate: the merciless, battle hardened variety. Large hands rested arrogantly on slim hips and the peaks of dark, folded wings loomed high above powerful shoulders.
She rallied her courage and allowed her gaze to scrutinise his face. The only softness in the smoothly angular features were his lips: luscious and … why was he smiling at her like that?
Her gaze flew up to his eyes.
Mistake.
Dark eyes, thickly fringed with long black lashes were boring into her with terrifying intensity. Cassandra had a sudden urge to turn and flee back into the crowd. Before she had a chance, his hand flicked out and caught her wrist.
He pulled her deeper into the shadows.
Did his aura just crackle?
His aura looked nothing like the other beautiful glowing clouds of colour she’d seen. It was no more than a dusting of silvery glitter, but it didn’t seem to reflect the colours of its surroundings. It flickered deep red and burning orange, occasionally flashing cobalt blue. He appeared to be surrounded by wrathful sparks. If it was a reflection of his mood, Cassandra was in deep trouble.
‘Let’s have a talk, Cassandra.’
A big disadvantage of being the only human in a community of fae was that everyone knew who she was.
‘Who are you?’ She was trying for disdain, or at least contempt, but it sounded more like terror.
‘Lorcan.’
Lorcan. That gave her no useful information at all. She struggled to maintain eye contact, determined not to show fear.
She wouldn’t have thought it possible, but his gaze became even more piercing. ‘More to the point, who are you?’
Cassandra lost the battle. She dropped her gaze to a shard of black glass hanging from a dusky silver chain around his neck. She was already confused and tongue tied. He knew her name and sh
e was pretty sure he knew she was human. She was pretty sure everyone here knew at least that much about her. What other information could he possibly need? She would tell him anything if it would get rid of him faster … Date of birth? Address? Vaccination history?
‘Why did you follow Ryus into the agora?’
Oh, that. She could only assume he was talking about the little boy with the beetle. ‘I was trying to work out what he was. I didn’t think fairies – I mean fae – really existed. I was … fascinated.’
‘Come off it, Cassandra. You have fae sight. You must have been born with it.’ Lorcan looked troubled for a moment and then shook his head. ‘You must be a collector, there’s no other explanation. Where do you keep your equipment? Is it in that boatshed?’
‘A what? What equipment? What’s a collector?’
Lorcan stared at her as though he was looking directly into her mind. She resisted the urge to press her hands against the sides of her head to stop her thoughts leaking out. ‘Don’t try to insult my intelligence, human.’ He spat the word ‘human’ at Cassandra as though she should be ashamed of it. ‘I know how mercenary humans are.’ He muttered to himself, ‘I can’t believe I didn’t think to search that boatshed.’
Cassandra’s fear turned to anger. ‘Look, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but I think you’re rude. You obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. I certainly don’t know what you’re talking about. So back off.’ There! That told him. She started to push past but had forgotten he still held her wrist. She was jerked to a stop that almost pulled her arm out of its socket.
Lorcan spoke directly into her ear from close behind. His voice was all the more menacing for its softness. ‘I am a watcher, Cassandra – a very good one. I watch humans. If I see a threat, I neutralise it. I am highly suspicious of you. Be warned: I’m watching you.’
Cassandra tried not to show any fear. She knew it was the worst thing to do when facing a bully. She stared straight ahead into the darkness, thought brave thoughts and tried to match his soft, icy tone when she answered, ‘I’ve told everyone who will listen and now I’m telling you: I don’t want to be here; I didn’t want to come, and I don’t want to stay; I want to go home. If you know how I can do that, let’s not waste any more time. Tell me now. I’m more than willing to leave immediately.’
