by Lynette Noni
“I’m not leaving the other recruits. They’re my responsibility, and I can’t abandon them.” His green — so flipping green — eyes capture mine. “But I also won’t let him hurt you any more than he already has. I made you a promise, Chip. This is me keeping that promise.”
I hold his gaze as I hear the memory of his whispered words from what feels like forever ago float across my mind: Trust me. I will protect them. I will protect you.
“Ward —” I breathe, but that’s all I manage, because he presses his hand to my cheek and leans in until his forehead rests against mine. His movements are gentle, so gentle, like I’m made of fractured glass and he’s afraid of splintering me further.
“Everything I did was to protect you,” he whispers.
I suck in a startled breath, unable to deny the truth I see in his eyes.
“No matter what Falon said, no matter how I acted after you started Speaking, every second, every moment I spent with you before that was real. Don’t ever doubt that, Chip.”
Before my shocked but still-too-sluggish mind can think of a reply, and before Keeda or I can come up with any kind of further argument, he pulls away from me and pushes us both into the elevator beside Cami, then slams his hand on the outside panel. The doors slide shut between us just as I see the group of zombified Speakers round the bend, with Vanik and Manning leading them. The moment Vanik’s eyes lock onto mine through the closing doors, I know exactly what his infuriated gaze is telling me.
This isn’t over, Six-Eight-Four. We’ve only just begun.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Exhausted, terrified and drained beyond what should be humanly possible, my body must have shut down sometime between Ward shoving us into the elevator and Keeda awakening the panic-stricken Cami, since I have no memories from there on out. Instead, when I regain consciousness again, I’m in a stone-walled, dimly lit room, and I’m not alone.
“Kael?” I whisper, seeing him seated beside my bed. My voice is so raspy that it sounds like a colony of fire ants have nested in my throat. It feels like that, too.
“Here.” He holds up a glass of water and presses the straw to my lips. “Drink.”
I suck in the cool, fresh liquid as if it’s air, only stopping when he moves the glass from my reach.
“I wasn’t done,” I complain, pleased when my voice comes out stronger.
“You’re badly dehydrated, but you still need to take it easy,” he says, placing the glass on the bedside table. “If you can keep that down, I’ll give you more soon.”
“I had the strangest dream about you,” I tell him, still feeling half-asleep. “We were on a rainbow cloud.”
Kael chuckles, and it’s a deep, comforting sound. “That wasn’t a dream, princess.”
Memories crash into place, and I bolt upright, my head spinning as pain flares, but I push through it in my desperation to see where I am. There’s another bed a few feet from me, with Cami buried deep under a pile of blankets, fast asleep. For reasons unknown, Schrödinger is also with us, curled up and dozing at my feet.
My gaze travels around the rest of the space, similar enough to Liana’s room in the catacombs that I know we must be underground. As to how we arrived? I have no idea.
“How did I get here, Kael? And Dinger? I can’t remember anything after Ward helped us escape.” I flick through my memories, finding myself at a loss. I can’t even begin to process Ward’s final words to me and what they might mean. “I don’t — I don’t understand why he helped us.”
“First answer,” Kael says, leaning forward to steeple his fingers underneath his chin, “is that you passed out in the elevator, and after Keeda convinced Cami to leave Ward and escape while you all still could, the two of them carried you out of Lengard. We brought you back here, where you’ve been in and out of consciousness for the past three days. During one of the ‘out’ moments, you made Dinger appear, and he hasn’t left your side.”
As if knowing Kael is talking about him, my kitten opens his eyes and gives a soft meow, crawling up my body to nudge his head against my chest.
I pet him absentmindedly, caught up in Kael’s words and thinking that’s an absurd amount of time to have been sleeping, especially considering how wretched I feel. I’m struggling to keep my eyes from shutting even as we speak.
“You lost a lot of blood, Lyss, and not just from where Vanik drained you.” Kael motions to the clean white bandage wrapped firmly around my arm. “Cami couldn’t heal you without you being conscious for more than a few seconds at a time, so like Dinger, she hasn’t left your side and has been waiting for you to awaken.” Kael nods to my sleeping friend. “I can wake her now if you —”
“No, let her sleep,” I tell him, knowing that it can’t have been easy for her to leave her brother behind. She needs her rest; my wounds can wait.
“Because of the time that’s passed …” Kael offers me an apologetic look. “She’ll be able to heal you, but you’re going to have one hell of a scar, princess.”
Of all the things he could have said, that is the least of my worries. I send him a look that says as much, and his eyes lighten in response. But then he sobers.
“To answer about Ward, he’s one of ours.”
Kael’s declaration doesn’t shock me as much as it would have had I not witnessed Ward helping us escape. I still don’t understand, though.
“He and I grew up together at Lengard. We were close — at least, before I left with my family ten years ago,” Kael goes on. “As far as I knew, he believed in what they’re doing there, through and through. Or that’s what I thought, until a few weeks ago when he reached out to us. There was a girl, you see. One he’d been told to get close to. A girl he’d been ordered to make trust him, by any means necessary. Turns out, he had no idea the kind of effect such a girl would have on him.”
Kael eyes me shrewdly, and I hold his gaze, not giving myself over to the confusing array of emotions that surge within me.
“He did what he was asked to do,” Kael continues, “but when you finally started Speaking, and he realized just how powerful you are and that you had no idea about your heritage, he knew something wasn’t right. It took him a few days, but he sought us out in secret to see if we knew anything. So we told him. The truth about you. And the truth about Lengard.”
I think about the night I found Ward sitting in the dark in my quarters. I’d assumed his windswept appearance meant he’d been topside searching for a new teenage Speaker, but now I wonder … Was that when he first approached Kael?
“I bet that was an interesting conversation,” I somehow manage to say.
Kael laughs. “He was rather … resistant. But Ward has his own sources inside Lengard, and it didn’t take much for him to corroborate our version of events. Ever since then, he’s been working with us.”
“He’s also probably imprisoned now because of that,” I say, and I’m unable to identify what I feel with those words. I’m still stung by what I thought was Ward’s betrayal, but everything is a mess now, especially given his final declaration to me. Not to mention, his desertion of Lengard — which, if Kael is to be believed, happened because of me.
It’s too much to think about at the moment, so I deflect and ask, “Did Cami and Keeda tell you …”
“Keeda told us everything that happened after she entered the lab,” Kael says. Tentatively, he adds, “Cami hasn’t spoken much to anyone, so you’ll have to fill in the rest.”
My heart goes out to my friend, but I know there is nothing I can do to comfort her until she awakens and we have some time to ourselves.
For now, I’m eager to get my recap over with, so I start from when I left my room, providing as much detail as I can remember. I’m grateful Kael doesn’t interrupt with questions, and he only speaks again when I’m finished.
Shaking his head in wonder, he says, “I knew Vanik was crazy, but wanting a survival-of-the-fittest scenario pitting Speakers against the rest of the world? I can’t believe it
. I thought my dad cured his insanity.”
“He’s not insane,” I say. “I think it would be better if he was. He’s in his right mind, but he’s so fixated on revenge that he doesn’t realize how unreasonable his plan is. Can you believe he wants to become a Creator?”
“Worse, he now has the means to do so.”
With Kael’s words, I feel a phantom throbbing from two points in my back.
“Maybe not,” I say, trying to remain positive while raising my uninjured arm to cover a yawn. As I do so, Dinger wobbles back down my body and curls up again at my feet. “If he can’t identify the Creator gene in the samples he took from me, he’ll need more before he can replicate my ability or clone my DNA. And I don’t plan on providing him with any more freebies.”
“Speaking of DNA,” Kael says, watching me, his voice low. “You glossed over it quickly, Lyss, and I know that was deliberate, but I still heard what you said about your parents. How Vanik implied things might not have happened as clearly as we all believed.”
I take a deep breath in and release it again, rolling Vanik’s words over in my mind:
There’s no possible way your Speaking ability could have caused your parents’ deaths … I’ve now given you more than enough to find out what really happened to them … Or even, perhaps, to simply find them, full stop.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I whisper to Kael. “I was so sure — so sure I’d killed them. But Vanik said my mind isn’t capable of imagining the intent needed for that kind of consequence. Is that … possible?”
Kael remains silent for a long time, and when he speaks, he does so carefully. “We only know what happened because of Liana. She saw a vision of you yelling at your parents and running upstairs, only to run back downstairs later to find them dead. Like you, we put two and two together. But, Lyss … I don’t want you to get your hopes up, but it’s possible we misinterpreted the events, just as you may have. Your parents had powerful abilities. If they had wanted the world to believe they were dead, it wouldn’t have been difficult for them to make that happen. Just like my dad did for our family.”
I swallow once and force out the words, “What abilities did they have?”
“Your mum had the most powerful ability for suggestion I’ve ever heard of.” Seeing my puzzled look, he explains. “Manning can force people to act, but the actions are never their own — they’re just puppets. But your mum — she could suggest an idea that would take root and grow, making people believe whatever the idea was until they carried it out with their entire conviction. Her ability was like a mixture of Manning’s enforcement, Enzo’s encouragement and Keeda’s hypnotic captivation all rolled into one powerful package. I’m sorry to tell you this, Lyss, but if your mum suggested for you to believe them dead, or even to believe that you had killed them, then you’d have no way of knowing whether or not the thought was your own.”
I don’t realize my hands have balled into fists until he reaches across to pry my fingers apart.
“As for your dad,” he continues, and I don’t interrupt, even though I’m not sure I want to hear any more, “no one remembers what he can do. Or if they can, they won’t say. Which makes me think he must have also had a strong ability. There was a reason they left Lengard in the first place and then later left Sydney entirely. No one seems to recall why — or they’re simply unwilling to share.”
“Let me see if I have this right,” I say, my words sounding as choked as I feel. “For over two and a half years I’ve believed myself responsible for the murder of my parents, but it’s actually possible that they’re alive and — what? That they wanted me to believe I killed them?”
Kael’s shoulders rise and fall. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I promise you, we’ll find out.”
I slump down into the bed, exhausted beyond belief.
“I hate this,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I hate not knowing about Vanik and my parents. I hate not understanding anything. I hate that I’m out here but that the other Exodus recruits — my friends — are stuck back at Lengard with that psycho.”
Enzo, Sneak, even Crew — they’re all still there.
And then there’s Ward. It’s impossible to forget him. Impossible not to wonder what he’s going through right now.
Needing to not feel so useless, so helpless, I draw back my blankets and drag my legs over the side of the bed. My movement rouses Schrödinger, who raises his head long enough to give me a dirty look for jostling him, then he drops his chin to his paws and closes his eyes again.
“Whoa, whoa, what do you think you’re doing?” Kael demands, leaping from his seat.
Cami stirs at his raised voice, and we both glance over at her, but she doesn’t awaken.
“What does it look like?” I reply, and with a heaving push, I stand, only to wobble precariously enough for Kael to swoop in and steady me.
“I don’t think you’re ready to be up just yet,” he says.
“I have to get my strength back somehow.” I attempt to push him away, my efforts making me feel even more drained. I could easily fall asleep in his arms. But I still say, “I can’t just lie in bed all day while Vanik’s trying to take over the world, while my parents may or may not be alive and while Ward is a prisoner in his own home. I can’t just lie around and do nothing, Kael.”
“And yet, right now you also can’t do anything, Lyss,” Kael tells me, leaning back enough to look into my face. “Vanik can wait. Your parents can wait. And as for Ward, he’s way too important for Vanik to risk causing him any permanent damage — especially since Falon will be breathing down everyone’s necks to find out where you lot have all disappeared to. So he’s got time, Lyss. Which means you do, too.”
Kael’s words help soothe my turmoil. But still I say, “We need to save him, Kael. We need to save them all.”
“And we will,” he says. “Just as soon as you can stand on your own again.”
“I’m fine.” Seeing his skeptical look, I add, “Really.”
Kael tightens his grip on my waist and says, “Piggybacking you around Lengard on a rescue mission doesn’t seem like the wisest decision we could make right now.”
Seeing his point, and vaguely realizing that the room is spinning around me, I capitulate. “Perhaps we can wait a day or two.”
Spinning room or no, I still see his lips curl into a smile as he responds, “Only if you insist.”
With no impending rescue mission on the cards just yet, he helps — or, rather, forces — me back into bed. Only when he’s tucked me in and is moving toward the door do I whisper, “What’s going to happen to them?”
His midnight eyes hold mine for a long moment, as if he’s sharing his strength — and lending his comfort. “Nothing that hasn’t been happening for a while,” he answers quietly, truthfully. “So, rest up, Lyss. There’ll still be time to save the world after you wake again.”
Finally submitting to my exhaustion, my eyelids flutter shut of their own accord, but I still slur, “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he replies with a quiet chuckle. “Now, go to sleep, princess. You’re safe here.”
It’s a whisper of promise, and it fills me with warmth all over again as I begin to drift off. But just before I succumb, one last thought crosses my mind, and I open my eyes again as I mumble, “Kael?”
“Yeah?” he answers quietly from across the room.
“You haven’t been destroying my words, have you?”
A beat of silence passes before he says, “No, Lyss. I haven’t needed to.”
I exhale deeply at the confirmation of what that means.
“From what I hear, you’ve had a good grip of your control for a while now.” Kael sends me a sly glance and adds, “Or so Ward told me the last time I spoke with him. He mentioned something about … glitter paint?”
I suck in a breath, startled by his admission.
When Kael sees my shock, his lips hitch up at the side. “He was still play
ing the role he was forced into, princess. He had to act like a hard-ass to stay close enough to watch over you without suspicion. But if there’s one thing I know about Ward, he more than anyone always believed in you, right from the very beginning. Trust me on that.”
My sinuses tingle, and I blink fiercely to combat my suddenly burning eyes.
Sensing my need for him to not say anything more about Ward, Kael clears his throat and continues, “You’re as normal as any other Speaker now — which means, when you want to use your ability, you have to actively draw power and intent into your words if you want them to have any supernatural effect. The rest of the time, like now, nothing will happen.”
I swallow thickly and whisper, “So I … Hypothetically, I can choose to not Speak if I … don’t want to?”
Kael is silent for a moment, and then he walks slowly back until he’s beside my bed. He leans down close, his eyes soft on me. “Princess, you can do whatever you want.”
Then he leans in even closer, presses a barely there kiss to my forehead, offers me a gentle smile and walks away, closing the door behind him as he leaves the room.
It takes me a moment before I’m able to fill my lungs again, let alone hold back the renewed tears that blur my eyes.
I’m free. The choice is now mine.
I’m no longer a slave to my words; I no longer have to fear the possibility that I may accidentally hurt — or kill — someone. But despite that, I know I’m not truly free — not yet. Because there are still things I need to do.
I have friends to save. Other Speakers. Normal humans.
And then there’s Ward. I don’t know where I stand with him or how I feel about everything he did, but he helped me, protected me, and I’m determined to return the favor. I will free him.
With everything I am, with all that is within me, I’ll do whatever it takes to save them — all of them.
That is my choice. And I will see it through.
Until the very end.
EPILOGUE
My name is not “Jane Doe.”
I’m not referred to as an unidentifiable, breathing corpse anymore. “Jane Doe” is gone, as is “JD,” “Subject Six-Eight-Four,” even “Chip.” I may still be known by these names, but they are not who I am. Because who I am is who I’ve been all along. I’ve just been too afraid to accept it; too afraid to accept me.
