by Leigh Lennon
I hear a strange sound coming from his end of the line. He’s silent for a couple of seconds. After I hear him clear his throat, he explains, “Sorry, I was drinking my pop when you said that and it made me choke. All right, well you’re obviously forward on expectations,” he stammers.
“I'm sorry. I've had a shitty day but I would like to see you. If you would like to come by, I will text you my address. I'm not far from downtown.”
“Rose, I’d like to see you, too, and not just for sex. But hey, I’m a guy so I wouldn’t say no to that either because it is you. You’re amazing, not just for sex. I told you, I would like to explore more with you. I know you said the night we were together was just fun and good Lord, it was fun. I just couldn’t be this close and not reach out. If it is just sharing a glass of wine over some friendly conversation, then, you know, that is fine, too.”
Now he wants to have a drink with me. Crap, crap, crap—I can’t drink for the next nine months. Instantly feeling a rush of heat radiate into my face and throughout my whole fucking body, I say, “All right, I'm sending you my address now, see you probably in a half hour then?” The second I hear his voice; the more I realize how much I want to see him.
“I’ll see you then, Rose,” he says flirtatiously.
I had been planning to call my mom. I need her. Besides the time in high school when I was a bitch to her, she has been my first line of defense in this world. Barely making it through the five years I was in Seattle for school, I knew my life would be in Spokane, near her. However, now Brody is on his way; that conversation is more important. Yet, I grab my phone to text my mom anyway.
Me: Can you come by tomorrow after I get off of work? I will cook some dinner, hang out? Sound good?
Thankfully, this is a ritual we enjoy weekly and mom will not find it odd at all. However, my mom is going to get the shock of a lifetime. She’s a brand new woman since marrying my stepdad four years ago. I’ve adored him since the day I almost stabbed him in the kitchen. That was five years ago and he has also changed the landscape of our family.
It was with Nick, my stepfather, that we found a whole new extension to those we hold dear. His eclectic family brought Emma, my stepsister, along with her two half-sisters: Jane and Lila. The second my little brother met Jane, it was over. Following Jane everywhere, he’s permanently planted roots in California.
I’m daydreaming when not even twenty minutes later, I hear a knock on the door. Opening it up, I see Brody holding a bottle of wine, looking better than I care to admit, even in the darkness of the night. With his blond hair, blue eyes prettier than the ocean and the sky combined, tall muscular build of at least six-feet-two and a smile that makes me melt, I’m at odds with myself. I had forgotten until I saw him again, the connection we had for one night, which was more than sex.
Wanting to give him a hug; I realize I’d rather take him right now on the stairs. However, seeing him and remembering all the ways we were together is making me both horny and hot. The sweat is pooling up in my bra and it is just not sexy. Plus, there is an agenda to this meeting of the minds. I have to tell him he’s going to be a daddy but for the record, I want him just as much as I did the night of the wedding.
Finally, he pulls me into an awkward embrace, walking into my townhome. At the front of my townhome, directly at the foot of my front door, stands a long stairwell that leads upstairs to three bedrooms. It is uncomfortable, as the space doesn’t afford us much room. His five o’clock shadow along with his eyes, are pulling me in for more. Taking in his face, it’s so handsome while he’s taking in everything in my house. The long expansive hallway follows into an open floor plan kitchen, dining room and living room combination. The dining room is tucked behind the living room, but it is a nice size for my first place and will be home to the baby I’m carrying.
Walking down the hallway, he’s taking in the picture frames hanging on the wall and stands at my most recent picture of me in cap and gown, graduating with my master’s degree. His whole body is studying my house, from the light blue color blanketing the downstairs walls, to the plants I have arranged throughout my home.
I turn, barely able to contain myself as I see him walking over to the bookshelf that houses my family pictures and just a fraction of the books I have read. “This is a nice home. I remember you telling me you bought it six months ago, right? This place seems like it fits you, Rose.”
“You mean we actually talked?” I say, joking a bit to take the nervousness out of the room. The sexual tension surrounding us is palpable. We were naughty. I mean, we were in positions I can’t quite describe. He’s a take charge kind of guy in the bedroom and this little trait turned me on even more. Thinking about it makes me flush. I see a little grin on his face, knowing I want to feel him inside of me again. Then I think to myself I’m Rose Hernandez, the girl who plans everything. I do not do reckless abandon. I’m responsible. When his blue eyes fixate on me, I want to toss all responsibility out the fucking window.
He winks saying, “I guess we talked a little?” It is making me wet, really wet. I don’t get wet from winks. Do I? No, I can’t.
Taking the wine, I uncork the bottle, wishing I could have a sip to calm my nerves. As I pour it into glasses, he’s still heavily inspecting my house, going from picture to picture as if he’s trying to get a sense of me. When I take the two glasses to the living room, he continues, “Yes, this is really nice, Rose. You did a great job furnishing it.”
Surprised by his remarks, I’m still nervous, so all the needless chit chat is calming the pulsating of my nerves. “Not many men care about stuff like this.”
“Well, I’m in the minority. I like things nice and orderly. Oh, did I forget to mention, I love things that are cute and sexy, too?” He winks at me again and my knees are so weak I feel one more wink will lead me to using my mouth to unzip his pants. Stop! This is not me. I don’t have dirty sex. Well, actually I did that night with Brody on every surface of my hotel room. My mind is officially betraying me as it is going places it shouldn’t. Jones and I have great and fun sex! However, it's time to admit to the reality that nothing is as hot as Brody and I were that night.
I purposely sit away from him on my overstuffed chair as his large, muscular body takes up residence on my couch. Looking everywhere but at him, I place my wine down, knowing it will go to waste. “Rose, did you hear me?”
His eyes leave me in a trance as I'm trying to forget how sexy this man is. I shake my head, “Oh, sorry, Brody.”
I can’t seem to break the gaze as his eyes lock with mine. It is those amazing eyes that are going to be my demise along with every other part of his body. “I was just asking what you have been up to?”
“Me? Just working really. And you, what brings you up here?” Ah, great, Rose, I think. I can’t even ask a decent, educated question.
“I’d applied for a program up here two years ago after PT school. At the time, they had filled all their slots and I’d gotten hired down in Cali. A position has opened up, one that will give me a lot of experience. I know about your boyfriend, how you both took a break to see if you would work. I didn’t want you thinking I was here to ruin things between you and him. However, I will be honest,” he leans forward, “I really couldn’t stop thinking of you. And if I can be truthful, the sex, it was freaking amazing.”
Did he just say what I think he said? Yes, he did. He acknowledged what I’ve been thinking the whole night and since I saw him six weeks ago. I can’t help but laugh at him. “What’s so funny?” he asks. “Hey, you aren’t drinking your wine, do you not like it?”
I will deal with one issue at a time. First, we'll talk about the sex, and then I'll tell him why I can’t drink. Yes, this is a great plan. Wait, should I really be talking to him about sex when that is all I want to do right now?
I finally say, “Yeah, the sex; I felt the same way. It was amazing and being straightforward with you, I can see a connection between us.” However, all that statement does is
make Brody smile in a cute as hell and cocky sort of way. “But Brody, there is more. Um, I’m not sure how to tell you this and was about to call Jane to get your number when you called me.”
He smiles, leaning forward and I see his hand twitch a little as though his next step is to seal the physical connection with an actual touch, “So, you feel the same way.”
Oh shit, he’s being led on. I don’t want that. Well, for the record, I actually want him. But no, I scream at myself internally, I can’t let him think there is a future with us. Trying to backtrack as that hand of his wavers so close to touching me, I verbally admit, “Well, the sex, yes, amazing. Like it was seriously out of this world. You did things to me in a way, let’s just say that they probably don’t teach in a Kama Sutra book.” Here I go on a rant. When I get nervous, I chatter and it doesn’t make sense. “But let me say, you did another thing to me that I wasn’t expecting.”
Leaning over further this time, he actually grabs my hand and I let him, knowing what I'm about to say will be mind-blowing, but not in the way he probably would desire it to be. The physical attraction to him is instantaneous the second he touches me. Here is my chance to tell him as he asks, “What is that?” He's smiling, ready to pounce on me. Shit, I have really given him the wrong idea.
I bite the bullet. My eyes can’t reach his. They only turn to the side as I rise from my chair. I must pace, that is another thing I do when I'm nervous. Reaching his eyes only briefly, I see he’s still all smiles but I'm not. Fine, here I go, it's time to rip off the bandage. I’m not sure what to say but I grab my sweater, looking at the hem as I say, “Brody, I'm pregnant.”
Slowly leaning back in his chair, raking his hands through his hair, he takes in a cleansing breath and lets it out as if he were King Kong.
Before he can ask me, I know what his first and logical sentence would be. “And Brody, I’m positive it's yours. I really thought we were being careful that night.”
Still quiet, I broach, “Brody?” Looking at him, now it is his turn to grow nervous when I see his hands shaking, barely able to calm them.
“Oh shit.” His eyes meet mine and even in this time of fear, they are beautiful and somehow, they fill me with relief. He continues, “I mean…”
“No, oh shit is appropriate. There is a life inside of me I’ll be responsible for, for the rest of my life. My mom would tell us growing up she would die for me, however, I never got that. I do now. I don’t expect anything from you, but I thought you should know.” I must be nervous again because I can’t shut off my fucking mouth.
Standing swiftly, he walks toward me with a nervous yet tender smile on his face. I don’t have to know him to know nervous smiles—that has been my constant look all day. “Don’t expect anything? Hell, you're telling me I'm the dad. You can expect something from me that is for sure. I don’t work like that, where I can forget my family, and he or she’s my family in some way, I hope.”
I've imagined this moment all day, but it never included him responding this way. “Brody, I barely know you.” I finally sit down. The nerves have done me in, yet his reaction has been a comfort to me.
“The same can be said for you.” Well, shit, he has me there. He continues, “I would take you coming to me as a sign you aren’t thinking of an abortion.”
“No, I don’t believe in that for myself. I know it's a personal choice. Anyway, I'm not seventeen. I'm twenty-two and can take care of this baby,” I clarify adamantly while a slow breath releases from Brody’s chest. Hell, now I’m thinking of his chest! Oh, and I know how great his bare chest really is.
He’s now again in my space, reaching for my hands, “Then get to know me, I would like to know the woman who is going to be having my baby.” He cocks one eyebrow up; indicating that knowing me is just the tip of the iceberg.
It's my turn to take in a deep breath since this is the last thing I expected from him. “Brody, you’re promising a lot right now. I think you should go back to your hotel and give this a lot of thought. In a day or two, let’s talk about how you want to be involved, if at all, or if you’ll just waive your rights.”
A flash of anger in his eyes startles me. It is a brash difference to the lighthearted casual way in which he carries himself. “I can tell you, I won’t be waiving my rights.” Those words carry seriousness in his voice along with a commitment. I admit that the second I found out I was pregnant; this baby was a keeper in my book. So, why is it such a shock the dad would not have the same paternal protectiveness he’s exhibiting?
Sitting in awkward silence, Brody finally speaks, “How about I come by tomorrow at 7:00?”
“Can you give me a few days? The day after tomorrow? Wednesday at 7:00 pm?” I say bluntly as though this is just some normal business transaction. Though, I don’t know how else to treat this. My life has order, it has direction. This baby is a welcome addition in my life. But I’m not expecting Brody.
“Oh, all right.” He’s obviously disappointed. His feelings are clear for both the baby and myself. Somehow, it makes him sexier than ever. “Sure, but call me if you need anything?” I can’t be alone with him anymore and I walk to the door, him following me.
In the hallway, I ask, “This wasn’t what you expected for tonight, was it?”
His eyes brighten. “I mean, I’m all for surprises but this certainly is…” He can’t find the words and he just trails off in silence. In his quietness, I think he may want to comfort me. Finally, he gives an uneasy laugh and before I know what is happening, he kisses my forehead. “Have a good night, Rose, and I will see you in two days.”
I close the door after he leaves. The truth is since I can’t drink, sex would have definitely been the one way to keep my mind off of this. However, technically, I'm back together with Jones and I’m not a cheater. The thought of Jones leaves me empty, knowing the future we were planning is now on shaky ground and I, Rose Hernandez, do not do shaky or the unexpected. I live a safe life yet here I’m carrying a man’s baby I barely know.
2
Rose
As expected, my mom shows up with Pad Thai, my favorite. “Mom, I said I would cook.”
“I never get take out, I got used to it for years and now Nick has this policy of cooking each night, so indulge your mom,” she spouts off as the hurricane known as Justine Wallace arrives on my front porch. Hurrying past me, she makes her way to the kitchen and at home in my house.
Embracing her, she says, “So, I heard you had a visitor last night?” Her smile tells me to spill it all while she unpacks our dinner.
“What?” I ask.
“Kai told me he gave your mysteriously handsome guy you disappeared with the night of their wedding your phone number. So, one last fling before Jones gets back?”
My mom is not the normal mother. Growing up, we had luxuries afforded to us most kids didn’t. Basically, if we were honest with Mom, we were allowed to do most anything. We could go to parties, hell, Mom would drop us off and pick us up. After my mom finally approved of Jones, which was a long haul and a longer story, she made sure I was given all the resources necessary when we started having sex, though the first time, I did it behind her back. And when Jane would come up from Sacramento to see Kai, she stayed in his room. We were given a lot of leeway in life and for this reason; my mom really has become my best friend.
With a smile on, I say, “Mom, it isn’t quite the way you think. First off, technically I’m back with Jones. We have talked about making a commitment. You know we took this year and a half away to see if we truly were meant for each other. Last week he’d said he was ready to move forward in the next step of our relationship.” I stop for a second to collect my thoughts. My mom really should be the easiest person I break this to, yet now the butterflies invading my stomach add company to the baby I’m now growing in there. “Well, we were going to try but something has changed. It's one of the reasons I had you come over tonight.”
Sensing the seriousness in my eyes, my mom leaves our foo
d in the kitchen, leading me to the couch to sit down. With a small smirk on her face, she says, “Well, could it have something to do with the cute young man who came by last night?”
“Indirectly, sort of. I guess a product of…” I trail off as my mom stares me down.
“What? You have me confused, Rose,” I know Justine Wallace hates being confused.
It’s time to just say it. With this thought, I finally blurt out, “Mom, I’m pregnant.”
My mother is a direct woman. Everyone always knows where he or she stands with her. She’s witty and the first to comment, making her opinion known. However, in this moment, my mom sits in front of me, speechless.
“Mom, this must be bad if you have nothing to say.”
Mom was twenty-one when she had me. I’m older and more advanced in my career. I know if anyone understands, she does. “No, honey, it’s just that I’m surprised. You’re always careful. You’re the one that has your life planned out. I mean, to my knowledge, you have only been with Jones and this guy from the wedding.”
“We were careful that night. Yes, it has only ever been Jones and now Brody. Brody was supposed to be just a fun night. Gladys said there is always a small percentage that a condom can be ineffective, plus I went off the pill when Jones left.”
