by Hondo Jinx
“Try me.”
“Wait,” he said. “You’re serious? You want me to leave?”
“I’m serious,” she said, and even though she was still wrestling with a smile, he could see that she meant it.
“All right,” he said, and started picking up his clothes. “You want to cuddle for a few minutes first?”
“No,” she laughed. “What kind of barbarian asks to cuddle, anyway?”
“The kind who’s in love.”
She gave him a kiss. “I love you, too. Now get out and let me study.” She flopped down, still naked, and popped open her book.
Pulling on his pants, Dan said, “You’re doing that on purpose?”
“What?” she said, feigning innocence.
“Sitting there, all hot and naked, knowing that I’m going to go crazy over in my apartment, picturing you studying like that.”
Holly laughed. “You and your dirty barbarian mind. Now go. If you don’t make me ask again, I’ll give you a little surprise later.”
They kissed goodbye, and he left, grumbling.
What was Holly up to? She was probably telling the truth about having to study, but he could tell that there was more to it than that. Her purple eyes were shining like she was a kid dying to share a fun secret.
He shrugged and went into his apartment. Oh well. Maybe he’d bang his head against his Battlefield Strategy and Tactics textbook for a while.
But as soon as he walked into the apartment, Willis and Dan’s gaming friends poured out of the living room, hooting congratulations.
“Dan the man!” Willis squeaked.
“You did it, you magnificent bastard!” Rick shouted.
“Uh oh, hide the prostitutes!” Jerry said predictably.
They mobbed him, slapping high fives and clapping him on the back, out of their minds happy for him.
Dan grinned like a madman. Between Campus Quest and spending time with Holly, he’d barely seen his friends for days. It felt good that they were so excited for him.
They shared their pizza, asking him all about the competition, which they’d watched on TV. Dan had fun, telling what it had been like, dropping the gnoll.
“Oh yeah,” he said. “And I got married, too.”
“What?” they shouted collectively.
For as crazy as it had been for them to see their friend on TV, kicking ass in Campus Quest, it was even harder for Dan’s friends to believe that he had a girlfriend, let alone a wife.
When he told them that it was Holly, they refused to believe it.
Dan shrugged. He wasn’t going to waste any time trying to convince them.
“Want to play Dullards & Drudgery?” Willis asked. He grinned, scrunching his glasses up his nose. “Jerry’s working overtime to pay his HOA fees.”
Rick laughed, pointing at Jerry, who was scowling now. “The dumbass was so excited about the new condo, he didn’t even check the monthly fees!”
“Thanks, guys,” Dan said, snagging another piece of pizza, “but I need to study and hit the rack.”
Heading for his room, he grinned, wondering if Holly’s mischievous surprise involved coming over for a visit later. Willis would probably have a heart attack.
Dan went into his room and flicked the switch, but the overhead light didn’t turn on. The only light was a shaft of blue-white moonlight shining through the window.
“What the hell?” he said.
Had the light burned out? How did electricity even work in this world? Was it a type of magic, or—
He tensed, feeling a breeze.
He hadn’t left the window open.
Glancing in that direction, he saw that the window was indeed open, and the screen was out… as if someone had broken into his apartment!
The acolytes?
Something rustled softly in the shadows.
32
The Intruder
Dan fell into a defensive stance, one hand on Wulfgar’s pommel, ready to draw.
A cloaked figure stepped into the moonlight.
“Hold it right there,” Dan said. “Who are you? Tell me now, or I’ll split you in half.”
Rich laughter filled the room. Familiar laughter. Female laughter.
“Nadia?” he asked.
“Split me in half, huh?” Nadia said. “You promise?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you,” Nadia said. “And to let you see me.” She unclasped her cloak and let it fall to the floor in a dark pool at her ankles. Not that Dan was paying any attention to the cloak.
Nadia’s naked body shone like marble in the moonlight. For as great as she always looked in her leather bodysuits, she looked far better in nothing at all. Nadia was longer and lither than Holly, with comparatively smaller breasts that were still large and round and looked incredibly firm. Her lovely, sinuous body moved slowly toward him, flowing as smoothly as water in the moonlight.
Her beauty froze him in place. He could only stare and grow hard as she approached.
Nadia reached up, laid a hand on his chest, and smiled impishly. “What’s the matter, barbarian? Cat got your tongue?”
His fingertips brushed her side, just above the hip, the skin there smooth and soft and warm.
“Holly was right,” Nadia said, sounding surprised. “You can be gentle.”
“I can’t do this,” he said, letting his hand fall away. “Don’t get me wrong. I like you a lot. You’re cool and funny and mysterious and strong and insanely hot, but I’m married now. Holly—”
Nadia laughed. “Oh, you silly savage. Who do you think sent me?”
He didn’t understand for a second. “Holly told you to do this?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that she told me to do it,” Nadia said, and bit her lip. “She knew that I wanted you, and she thought that you wanted me.”
He had a troubling thought. “She didn’t mind the thought of you, of us…”
“Don’t worry,” she said, smoothing her hands over his big shoulders. “Grey elves are different than humans. They live 1500 or 2000 years, and males outnumber females three-to-one. Polyamory and polygamy are the norm. Sharing you with me doesn’t mean that anything’s wrong. She’s still head over heels in love with you.”
Dan thought for a second. Holly had talked a little about this stuff, pointing out how their vows were different, but he’d mostly ignored the conversation, wrapped up in her and her alone.
Nadia said, “Did she happen to mention having a little surprise for you tonight?”
Dan nodded. “You’re the surprise?”
“Yup,” Nadia said. She stepped back and did a little pirouette in the moonlight, three hundred and sixty degrees of mouthwatering perfection. “Do you like your surprise?”
The prudish expectations of Dan’s former existence crumbled away. Old world or new, he would never go behind Holly’s back. But if Holly wanted this, and Nadia wanted this…
He reached out, pulled Nadia to him, buried a hand in her thick chestnut locks, and twisted her face to him.
She gasped and smiled, her green eyes shining brightly.
“Holly wants this?” he asked.
She nodded, her lips parting.
“And you want this?” he asked.
She gave him a wolfish grin and took his hand in hers. “Why don’t you feel for yourself and tell me whether or not I want it.”
Nadia guided his hand between her legs and shuddered at his touch. Her soft, silky sex was soaked and swollen.
He kissed her hard on the mouth and worked his fingers back and forth across her wet mound, not penetrating her but using his whole hand to cup and massage her, up and down, up and down.
Nadia kissed him urgently, passionately, and unsnapped his jeans. When she had him in her hands, she broke the kiss, stepped back, and stared down in wonder.
“Oh my gosh,” she said with a laugh of nervous disbelief. “You really are a barbarian.”
Dan brushed her hands away, dropped to his
knees, and lifted one of Nadia’s muscular legs over his shoulder. He breathed in her wonderful scent. Then he reached around, grabbed her perfect ass, tilted her pelvis upward, and plunged his mouth between her legs, licking and kissing her, tasting her juices and making her squirm.
Nadia grabbed the back of his head and pressed his mouth into her, moaning with pleasure. Her whole body quivered. Seconds later, she surprised him, crying out and bucking against his mouth, and soaking him in her essence as a powerful orgasm wracked her.
“No more,” Nadia gasped, and pushed his head away. She lifted her leg off his shoulder and stood there, bent in a quivering half crouch, gripping her sex and still convulsing with aftershocks of pleasure.
“Well,” he said, “that was fast.”
She laughed. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Dan stood. Now it was his turn to laugh. “So long? I’ve only known you for what, a week?”
“When you want someone as much as I’ve been wanting you,” Nadia said, “a week can feel like an eternity.”
She reached out, grabbed his erection, and tugged, leading him toward the bed like a dog on a leash. “Now let’s see what you can do with this big two-handed sword of yours.”
She stopped at the edge of the bed and took his face in her hands and kissed him, slowly and passionately. Then she broke the kiss and rubbed a thumb along his jaw like a woman checking the edge of a blade.
“Your whiskers are rough,” she said, and helped him out of his clothes. “But do you think you could be gentle with this, too? At least to start? I’m out of practice, to say the least.”
She was serious. Nadia was strong, capable, and fearless, always confident, always snarky, never weak. Her unexpected vulnerability only stoked his desires, making him feel like being anything but gentle.
But he nodded and kissed her and lowered her to the bed. She stared up at him, green eyes glowing, and pulled him on top of her. His throbbing manhood didn’t need a guiding hand. The head found her opening. He pushed gently forward a single inch, letting her feel its girth.
Nadia gasped, a look of concern coming onto her face.
Dan’s heart was pounding now, and he wanted nothing more than to plunge into her, but he reached up and brushed a dark lock of hair from her worried eyes. “Relax,” he said with an easy smile. “We’ll take our time, okay? You just tell me how you’re feeling.”
She nodded, a slight smile coming onto her beautiful face. They locked eyes. Nadia bit her lower lip and gave a little nod.
He eased into her–an inch, two, three, his girth stretching her–until she breathed in sharply. Then he paused, rocking his hips subtly, until she nodded again.
In this way, they synced their bodies and minds and emotions, until nod by nod, inch by inch, he filled her.
Nadia’s chestnut bangs had fallen again, covering one eye. The other eye fluttered in ecstasy, and her full lips parted. Her hands wrapped around his powerful triceps.
“I’ve never… so huge,” she said, and gasped when he pulled halfway out and buried his length again. “That’s it,” she said, moving against him. “More, more.”
33
We’ll See…
Afterward, they cuddled and talked.
For Dan, pillow-talk Nadia was a surprise. He’d seen two other sides of her–streetwise thief and shiny, happy RA–but now she was relaxed and happy and sweet. This felt like the real Nadia. And if it was, he liked the real Nadia very, very much.
When he told her this, Nadia shook her head, looking genuinely troubled. “Don’t be fooled,” she said. “Let’s just say that I have a wild side. If you knew the real me, you’d kick me out of here.”
“So dark and mysterious,” Dan joked, but he pushed her to tell him about her life.
They talked for a long time.
Nadia was an orphan, who’d grown up in foster care in Philadelphia and the suburbs. Life had been tough, and she’d bounced around a lot, so she was always the new kid.
Early on, she understood that teachers, who knew that she was a foster kid, treated her differently. Some teachers paid her little attention, probably assuming that she wasn’t worth their time, since she’d likely move away soon; other teachers treated her with suspicion, as if she might steal their chalk or possibly infect the other students with lice; and the worst teachers of all patted her head and made every day a pity party.
Meanwhile, Nadia knew that she was smart and capable, so she became very competitive at an early age. Whenever she stayed in a school district for a few months or longer, she rose through the academic and athletic ranks.
No matter how well she performed, however, Nadia always learned the same, bitter lesson; a lesson learned every year by countless kids in schools across the nation. You can fight your way up the ladder, but skill and hard work won’t get you to that final rung. In too many towns, you can’t earn head cheerleader, quarterback, or king or queen of the prom unless you come from the right family.
Nadia still tried. She craved success back then, she explained, seeming embarrassed and sad and perhaps a little angry. As a kid, she had wanted so badly to impress everyone and had worked hard to be the best at everything, hungry for some accomplishment that would prove that she had risen above her circumstances.
“It was bullshit,” she said, shaking her head. “All bullshit.”
Meanwhile, outside of school, life in the chaotic, often brutal foster system taught her stealth and struggle. By six, she had learned to steal food for her foster siblings and herself. By seven, she’d learned to steal without getting caught. Soon after, she learned how to read people, fight, and escape any placement.
After fleeing several abusive foster placements, she spent most of middle school in juvenile detention and group homes, where she met dozens of streetwise kids, from whom she learned pickpocketing, burglary, and the secrets of both the underground and the knife culture.
Through it all, however, she maintained her dual realities. Whether she was stealing food to feed her foster siblings or learning the correct angle at which to plunge a blade into a victim’s kidney, she maintained perfect behavior and grades at school.
“And that’s where Nadia the RA was born?” Dan said.
“Not born, exactly,” Nadia said, tracing a scar on Dan’s shoulder. “Nadia the RA. is as much a part of me as Nadia the thief. But yeah, that’s how I learned to separate my worlds. For the record, though, neither of those personas is the ‘real’ me, if there even is such a thing. People think they have a real self. I’m not so sure.”
Dan thought about that for a second. Who was he, really? Was he old-world Dan, playing a role here in this new world? Or was his inner barbarian the real him, a core self that he never could have become in the old world?
I’m both and neither, he thought. I’m some kind of weird hybrid, changing more and more each day.
“Even if we do have a true self,” he said, “maybe we have a different true self day to day, you know what I mean?”
Nadia smiled sadly. “That would be nice. But some of us will never escape our inner truth. I would do anything to be Nadia the thief or Nadia the RA either one, and nothing else.”
Dan caressed her neck and kissed her forehead. “Well, whoever you are tonight? I really like this version of you.”
Before Nadia could respond, the bedroom door swung open.
Dan shot out of bed, ready to fight.
“It’s okay,” Holly said, closing the door behind her. “It’s just me.”
Old-world Dan would’ve panicked, but he crossed the floor and kissed Holly. “Nadia tells me that you set this up.”
Holly shrugged and smiled. “Are you complaining?”
“Not at all.”
Holly trailed her fingertips over his bare chest. “I didn’t think so. Nadia was crushing hard on you, so I told her to go ahead.”
“Um,” Nadia said, “I’m right here, you know.”
Holly grinned at her friend. “And you’re eve
n prettier when you blush like that, hon. But don’t forget. I warned you what would come of all this. He is a barbarian, after all.”
“What do you mean?” Dan said. “I was gentle with her.”
“I’m sure that you were,” Holly said. “But you’re a barbarian, all the same. Harems are part of your culture.”
“And yours, Nadia tells me,” Dan interjected.
Holly gave him a little nod. “True, so that makes me a perfect first wife for you. As a powerful barbarian, you’ll gather wives, and with each wife, you’ll gain power. I warned Nadia that if she went through with this, you’d make her your second wife.”
Dan looked back and forth between the women. This conversation was crazy. Old-world Dan would’ve been freaking out, but he just grinned, feeling amused and intrigued and something else…
Proud?
Strong?
He wasn’t sure, exactly, what this other feeling was, but he liked it and realized that he’d felt it before.
Then he understood. This thing he was feeling, it was his inner barbarian surging, increasing its power over him, just as it had after he’d first had sex with Holly.
“Whoa,” Nadia said, still blushing. “I am nobody’s wife. You elves and barbarians are crazy. This was just sex to me.”
Holly laughed.
“What?” Nadia said.
“We’ll see,” Holly said, smiling mischievously.
Nadia fake-scowled at her. “I hate it when you do that.”
“Hate it when I do what?”
“The whole ‘we’ll see’ thing,” Nadia said.
Holly laughed again. “That’s because you know that I only say it when I’m right!”
Nadia rolled her eyes. “You just want me to do that thing you talked about.”
Now it was Holly’s turn to blush.
“What thing is that?” Dan asked, suddenly very interested.
“Don’t worry about it, barbarian,” Holly said. “Whatever my deluded friend is talking about, it’s not happening tonight. I have to study. Besides, tonight is for you two.”
Holly threw her arms around his shoulders and kissed him deeply and hungrily. Then she twiddled her fingers at Nadia, who lay, completely uncovered and incredibly gorgeous on the bed, smiling at them. “Bye-bye, second wife.”
