by Vella, Wendy
He watched his cousin walk away and thought seriously about slipping from the room while everyone was talking. His eyes went to her, Madeline. Her shoulders were back, chin raised, but those eyes told him of the panic she felt.
Looking down as someone tugged on his trousers, he saw Madeline Caron’s daughter had approached. Unable to resist a child, he crouched, bringing their eyes level. Children, he understood, and often they grounded him when he felt adrift.
“Hello, do you remember me?”
She nodded.
“My name is Harry. What is yours?”
“Fleur, and I have an Uncle Rory and an Uncle Max. There is also a cousin called Luke.”
“Well now, that’s a good thing, surely. Are you happy to have new family?”
She nodded, then moved closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. The gesture was natural, and something he’d had happen often in his lifetime, such was his gift. The gift the Sinclairs had told him was like the one Wolf had with animals.
“They’re noisy.” She looked up at the people before them.
“Extremely, but I think they’re kind,” Harry said, wanting to make the child feel at ease even though he himself was not.
“She wasn’t nice.”
“Who?”
“The woman who made me call her grandmère. She was mean to me.”
“Where is she now?”
“My home,” she whispered in French.
“Well then, you have no need to worry about her again, as you are far away from there now.”
“She made my mama cry.”
“Hello again, Mr. Sinclair. I hope Fleur is not bothering you?”
Harry rose as Madeline Caron addressed him. He felt Fleur slip her hand into his, then she took her mother’s in the other. Connecting them, he thought, then dismissed his thought as foolish. He was clearly not thinking straight, and who could blame him for that.
“No, we are just discussing her new uncles.”
He wouldn’t tell her what her daughter had told him. He had no right to be intrigued by this woman, not now he knew what family she was part of.
“My daughter doesn’t usually talk to strangers. I cannot work out why she is different with you, as she seems to be with them.” She waved a hand over her shoulder.
“Clearly she trusts us.”
“She has trusted before, but rarely on such brief acquaintance.”
“Because we are good people. Children can sense that in adults.”
“If only adults were so intuitive.”
“It would certainly make life easier.”
“I can’t believe you are one of them.” The words rushed out of her mouth. “One of the family I had not realized I had. Reunited with a brother and then all this…” Her words fell away.
“How wonderful for you then, to find them and your brother once more.”
“It should be wonderful.”
“And yet?”
She gave her head a little shake. “Forgive me, I am not myself. I don’t usually speak openly.”
“With anyone or just me?”
“You are a stranger to me, sir, but to answer your question, I do not usually speak my thoughts freely.”
Her features were fine, unlike her brothers’. Fingers slender. This close, he saw the freckles that marched across her nose and the soft pout of her lips.
“Surely not strangers. After all, yesterday I held you in my arms, and that was after traveling on my ship.”
“You saved me, and that is why I was in your arms,” she corrected him with a smile. “I had little choice in the matter.”
“Neither did I. However, had I not held you, you would have ended up in the water or worse.”
She closed her eyes briefly. “Forgive me, yes, you saved us, and I thank you again for that. Also the fares to England and paying for the hackney. What you did for us changed everything. I owe you a great deal.”
“You owe me nothing. You were in need of help, and I could provide it. I am glad that you are here now, safe from whatever you were running from.”
Her eyes shot to him, and if he’d been in doubt she’d been running, her look confirmed it.
“I was not running,” she lied.
“Wrong choice of words. Forgive me, Mrs. Caron.”
“My name is Madeline, and I would rather no one knew what took place between us, sir.”
“Of course. We would not wish to worry them as to why you were there in that state in Calais or the fact that two barrels nearly squashed you.”
She didn’t know what to say to that.
“I am to leave England soon and travel back to France,” Harry said, because he wanted to keep her talking and at his side. “But what of you, Madeline? Is this your home or France?”
She wore the same dress as yesterday, and hair the color of chestnuts was braided and pinned into a bun at the back of her head.
“I am unsure where my home is. Release Mr. Sinclair now, Fleur. Good day to you, and thank you again for all you have done for my daughter and me.” She then walked away, taking Fleur with her. He followed the gentle sway of her skirts as she made for Mr. Rory Huntington’s side.
Harry looked at the people that were his family. The resemblance was there in each. The eyes and hair. The love in this room was obvious to anyone who was looking. He wanted no part of that emotion—or Sinclairs.
Never trust a Sinclair, son.
“What am I doing?”
Suddenly his chest felt tight and palms sweaty. Panic, he realized. He’d been shot at by pirates who’d tried to board his ship, and stabbed, among other things, and yet this situation was making him panic. He’d not dealt with this much emotion in many years.
“Here.” Devon held out a glass. “You look in shock, and for that I’m sorry, but there really was no easy way to tell you about all this.”
Harry threw back the whisky, enjoying the burn as it traveled down his throat.
“I would ask that you give us a chance, Harry.”
“I don’t need a family, and this life is not for me.”
“What life?”
“Society. I have never walked in it, and have no wish to.”
“Not all of us walk in society.”
He looked at the grandeur around him, then the people in the room.
“I have no wish for family, my lord. I vowed to my father that I would never trust a Sinclair or form bonds with the family that betrayed him. I will not change that now.”
“That seems an incredibly harsh line to take when we are not at fault for your father’s plight.”
“And yet I promised.”
“You know that’s not rational, Harry, as do I. Everyone needs someone, and you are not the only Sinclair sibling who has suffered at the hands of this family’s ancestors. My father wasn’t a pleasant man.”
He looked into the eyes and face so like his that it was like looking into a mirror.
“I’m sorry, I must go. Thank you for telling me what I am, but I’m sorry, I cannot be part of your life.” He left without looking back. It was only after he’d run down the stairs and out the front door that he realized he was still gripping the glass in his hand.
Dropping it into his pocket, he thought it would remind him of this day when he struggled to believe that it had actually happened.
Chapter 7
Harry Sinclair was one of these Sinclairs.
“Harry is a cousin that the others knew about and yet had never met,” Rory told Maddie. “He, I think, is in shock like you over meeting family he never knew existed.”
She looked for the man who had given her passage to England, but he was no longer in the room.
“I want you to meet my fiancée now,” Rory said, waving a young, dark-haired, green-eyed woman over. “This is Kate, Maddie. Kate, my sister.”
Her smile was nice, and the look she threw Rory filled with love.
“It is lovely to meet you, Kate.”
“Oh and you, Maddie. Rory h
as spoken endlessly about you.”
The Rory she’d known had not spoken endlessly about anything, but she did not state otherwise.
Her eyes circled the room once more as Rory introduced Kate to Fleur. She had a new brother and three sisters. All had hugged her, and she’d remained stiff and unyielding because she could not take it all in. She’d tried to unbend, tried to understand that these people were her blood, but for so long there had been just her, Jacques, and Fleur. Now there were so many more.
“May we take Fleur with us to the nursery, Madeline?” one of the Sinclair twins asked. Maddie’s instant thought was denial—she wanted to keep her daughter close—but the smile on her Fleur’s face stopped her.
“Of course. Thank you for watching her.”
“We love spending time with the children.” She smiled, then led Fleur from the room.
For so long, Fleur had only her, and now that too had changed in such a short space of time. Listening to the voices all talking over the top of each other, Maddie suddenly felt the need for quiet.
Moving to the door, she slipped out unnoticed.
Wandering along the hallway, she studied cabinets and looked at paintings, letting the quiet settle around her. Never had she believed she would be in such a place, unless it was to work. There must be a dozen staff to run such a house.
Seeing the large dark-haired man with the piercing green eyes, Harry Sinclair, who had saved her and Fleur, had been another shock on top of so many. Rory had told her he too was meeting his family for the first time. There had definitely been something in those green eyes. Wariness, confusion; she could put many names to what he was feeling, as she felt it too.
She wandered until she found a set of stairs, then climbed. Stopping halfway up, the strength seemed to seep from her limbs. Slumping onto a step, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.
Were they safe here with these people?
Could she really allow herself to believe that she no longer needed to struggle to feed her child? No longer needed to be scared?
“That rather austere gentleman above you is Dev’s great-great-grandfather.”
“Your Grace.” Maddie saw the duke at the bottom of the stairs. “Forgive me for sitting here.” She started to rise.
“There are plenty of comfortable chairs, Maddie, but if the steps suit you, then by all means sit. I am not here to censure you.” To her surprise he joined her.
“I was just about to return.”
“You looked like you were sleeping. Was your journey very taxing?”
This was her brother. She saw something of Max and Rory in him. The height and breadth of his shoulders. His hair and jaw too. A duke, a nobleman who had likely been born in a bed three times the size of hers. A man with ancestors that formed a long and illustrious line. How was it possible they were related? And yet knowing her mother, she could understand why. She and the late duke appeared to be kindred spirits in temperament, from Rory’s description of the man.
“It was fine, thank you.”
“I doubt that, as my brothers tell me you arrived exhausted.”
“Traveling with a small child is never easy, your Grace.”
“James. Very true. My children constantly test my fortitude.”
Somehow she doubted much unsettled this man.
“What ship did you come across on?”
“Ah, I don’t remember the name.” She was reluctant to tell him she had arrived on Harry Sinclair’s ship.
“I understand that meeting us has come as a shock to you, Maddie. I hope you don’t mind me calling you that, but your brothers always have, and so I have come to think of you that way.”
“Of course.”
“Has Max told you how we met?”
She shook her head, keeping her eyes focused on the austere painting of Devonshire Sinclairs great-great-grandfather.
“When we first crossed paths, I did not know he was my brother. In fact, he was very much like you; he thought himself not good enough to be near me. Rory, too, reacted that way, as did both Emily and Rose.”
“You have to understand that my life has been vastly different from this.”
“I understand that, Maddie, but I’d like to explain some things to you if you would give me a few minutes of your time.”
“Of course.”
He had a nice voice. Not gruff, but calm. It was soothing, for all she’d never spent time with someone who spoke in such an educated way or was only a few steps down from royalty in the eyes of many. A brother.
“Our father was not a good man, and while I was born to wealth, I was not always happy. My life did not start until I found Samantha, and only then because of Eden.”
“I don’t understand. If she is your sister, how is it you found her?”
“Our father did not tell me about her. I found out after he died. When I met Eden, I was angry and confused and my sister hurting from the cruelty she’d suffered. When I married the woman I loved and began to collect siblings, I truly began to understand the meaning of love and family. I had nothing until then. Money and status, yes, but nothing more.”
“I’m sorry you suffered, your Grace.”
“I am your brother, therefore I really would like you to call me James.”
“I will try.”
“I did not tell you those things for sympathy, Maddie. I told you so you understand that I know what it is to suffer. I know how loneliness feels. You are of my blood, Maddie, and it is my wish that you never suffer again.”
“How do you know I have suffered?” Her throat felt tight suddenly.
“Your brothers suffered, so it stands to reason you have also.”
“Oh dear.” She pressed a fist to her lips to stop the sob escaping. She didn’t like crying; it achieved little but red eyes and a scratchy throat.
“It’s my hope that if there is any suffering in your future, which there will likely be as it’s the way of things, that you are surrounded by your family—me and the others, people who love and will support you.”
He wore a large ring on the middle finger that was rested on his knees, and it was this she focused on. Huntingtons did not show weakness; they’d learned that lesson early, at the hands of their mother, and yet in that moment she could cry like a babe.
Too much emotion.
“I wish that for Fleur,” Maddie said carefully.
“But not for you?”
Sometimes she felt she’d lived a hundred years, and none but a few had been easy. Her soul felt stained when she thought of the things she had done to survive. Until recently, she’d believed she’d never have to do such things again.
How wrong I was.
“Everyone needs to be loved, Maddie.”
“And Fleur loves me.”
“Do you not believe you are worthy of more love?” He looked at her with those steady gray eyes.
I am not worthy.
Looking at the elegantly dressed duke beside her, then the duck egg blue walls, it seemed almost unreal that she was here, when days ago she’d been in her house fighting for survival.
“I am unsure this life is for me, your Grace.”
“James.”
“I was not born to it, neither do I understand it.”
“There is little to understand actually. It’s merely the life you lived with a great deal more comfort and happiness. Your brothers have grown to love it, therefore I would ask that at least you give it some time before you decide it is not for you.”
“I will try.”
“Then that is all I can ask of you.”
They sat in silence for a while, and it was surprisingly comfortable, considering where she was and who was with her.
“Should you wish to live somewhere else, there are other estates in our family and a drafty castle. It was there I met the Sinclairs, but that is a story for another day, as I fear you have already had too much thrust at you.”
“My house was a small cottage in the country.” Maddie wan
ted him to understand why this life was so strange to her. “We lived far from town, and half a day’s trip to the nearest village.”
“How did you survive after your husband passed?”
She’d answered the door when she shouldn’t have and let the devil back into her life.
“We carried on living as we’d always done.” Without Jacques and Rory. And for a while, she’d believed her mother had changed, gullible fool that she was.
“We are a close happy family now, Maddie, who welcome you and Fleur into our midst. But don’t think things have been easy for any of us. The Raven and Sinclair families have suffered. Some more than others, but that is for them to tell you. Know this, though: I will always love each and every one of you and support you all in any way that I can.”
The lump in her throat nearly choked her.
“You don’t know me or what I am capable of.” Those words had not come out as she’d planned. “I mean, I am different.”
“I don’t know you, you’re right, but I know our brothers and what they have told me of you. I know it’s hard to let go of what you’ve always believed. Let go of a past fraught with pain and anger, because here with us you are safe.”
“I want to believe that.” The words left her mouth before she could stop them.
He turned slightly, his eyes looking down at her. Maddie kept hers forward.
“Will you tell me what you fear?”
Maddie looked at her chipped nails. She was as different as night is to day from the man beside her. He talked about suffering, and possibly he had, but when it had been long and enduring, something inside you broke, and she didn’t think it was repairable. She was damaged in so many ways, and not worthy of this man’s company.
“I fear nothing.”
“I am terrified of spiders.”
She laughed as he’d meant her to.
“But like your other brothers, my shoulders are broad should you ever wish to confide in me, sister. You are no longer alone, and Fleur will be loved as all our children are.”
“I want that for her, and she will adjust better than I, I’m sure.”
