by Jessie Cooke
The doctor shook his head slowly and the room began to spin. Doc had imagined, at the very least, that he’d get to say goodbye. He’d held onto the hope that he’d have one last chance to tell her that he loved her and that he was sorry. The last time he’d met her for dinner she had cried. She blamed herself for his leaving home and his lack of a relationship with his father. Doc assured her that wasn’t the case, but he had so badly not wanted to talk about it, he hadn’t taken the time to go beyond that. He should have told her what a good mother she was. He should have told her that her warmth served to melt the chill his father left in every room he entered. He should have told her that he knew he’d been an ungrateful, spoiled brat when he left, and he knew it had been wrong to let her worry for so long. But he didn’t tell her any of those things. Because he was still an ungrateful, spoiled brat.
“I’m sorry, sir, we did everything we could.” Things happened in slow motion. His father began to shake and dropped back down onto the couch behind him. Doc stood up, too quickly, and the room spun faster. He took a step and had to put his hand out and grab onto the furniture to keep from falling down. “Are you okay?” the doctor asked. He wasn’t. He was sick. He was suddenly an orphan. He was a grown man, the president of an outlaw biker club, in charge of at least thirty men. He was sometimes a drug dealer, a car thief, an arms dealer, and even a killer. But at that moment all he wanted was his mother, alive and holding him in her arms, telling him everything was going to be okay.
“I want to see her.”
“We had to do CPR…”
“I want to see her!” The doctor looked at his father. “Don’t look at him! Don’t defer to him like he’s the fucking boss here. She was my mother and I want to see her right fucking now!”
“Adonis!” Doc finally turned and looked at his father. Fuck you was on the tip of his tongue, but the wet tracks on the old man’s cheeks stopped him. His father looked defeated and Doc suddenly realized that it wouldn’t be long before they’d be holding a funeral for him as well. Drawing on what he’d learned since becoming the president of the MC, he swallowed his pride and years of animosity and said:
“Dad, please. Tell him to let me see her.”
Dr. Marshall looked surprised. Doc’s deference just might be the thing that gave the old man his own heart attack. He was silent for so long that Doc almost lost his cool again, but finally the old man looked at the doctor and said, “Let my son see his mother.”
“Thank you,” Doc whispered. He knew it was stupid. His mother was no longer in the battered body they were taking him to see. She wouldn’t be able to hear him or see the regret and sincerity in his eyes…but he had to do this. For just a few minutes he had to hold her hand…turn back the pages of time and dwell on the details. He wanted to remember what her face looked like when she smiled at him, how the fine lines around her eyes crinkled and her blue eyes twinkled. He wanted to remember how warm her hand always was when he was a boy and it was wrapped around his smaller one. She always held his hand out in public, like she was afraid she was going to lose him; even the last time they had dinner, she’d held his hand when they crossed the street. She told him all the time how long she waited for him and what a miracle he was. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he’d held onto her hand a little longer instead of being in such a hurry to get away…maybe he wouldn’t have lost her so soon.
11
Dallas was still sleeping when the pounding started on her door. She jumped up too quickly and stumbled over to it like a drunk. When she pulled it open, Doc was standing there. She didn’t ask any questions and he didn’t say a word. Everything he was feeling was all over his face. His eyes were red and swollen and she knew with one look that the news about his mother hadn’t been good. She stepped back and once he was inside, she closed the door and opened her arms. He almost fell into them and he stayed there for so long that she had to press her back into the wall to keep from collapsing under his weight. After a while he let go, took her hand, and led her back to the bed. She lay down and he stripped off all of his clothes except for his undershorts and he lay down next to her. He wrapped her up in a cocoon, and it was only minutes before his breathing changed and he was asleep. She could see the clock on the wall near the door as the sun came up and its rays pressed in through the curtains. It was almost six a.m. and time for her to be at work in the greenhouse…but he obviously needed her, and she wasn’t leaving him. Instead, she snuggled deeper down into the bed, against his hard chest, closed her eyes and wondered at the sudden turn her life had taken. It wasn’t that she had ever been on a path for college or a career or any kind of greatness. But she had imagined that one day she would use her skills for growing things more productively. Instead, here she was in charge of keeping plants alive so that they could be chopped and cut and sold by an outlaw biker gang…and she just might be falling in love with the man in charge of it all. Dallas drifted off to sleep with that on her mind and when she woke up a few hours later, she was still in Doc’s arms, but he was staring down at her face.
“My mother died,” he said. He sounded so sad that it made her heart hurt. Even outlaws loved their mothers.
“I’m so sorry.”
He nodded. “She was a hell of a woman.”
Dallas smiled. “I imagine she was. How’s your dad?”
“He’s an asshole,” Doc said. He left it at that and Dallas had sense enough to do the same. They lay there quietly for a while longer and then he said, “I have some things I need to do today. I want you to move into the house with me.” Dallas wasn’t sure she heard him correctly. She knew they had just finished fixing up the biggest house on the property, and she knew it was for Doc…but she never even imagined living with him. They had only barely begun to tolerate being in the same room with each other.
“You want me to do what?”
“Move into the house with me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand?”
“You want me to live with you?”
“I thought you were into all that hippie shit, free love and all that. Don’t tell me you’re one of those women who needs a ring on her finger.”
“It’s not that, Doc, I don’t even really know you.”
“What do you want to know?”
“I don’t know, it’s just…I’ve only known you a short while. We’ve had sex once and now suddenly you want us to move in together…you don’t think that’s strange?”
“Life is strange. One minute you’re here, breathing and doing stupid shit, and the next you’re gone, in a hole in the ground for eternity. I’m tired of living alone. I like you. I like your fire and your passion for things. I’m tired of the one-night stands. I’m tired of not having anything real.”
Dallas was afraid that all of this was his grief talking. “Like” wasn’t enough to move in together. She was starting to kind of “like” him too, and she’d been attracted to him like crazy even when she thought she hated him. But that wasn’t enough…was it? Was he saying he wanted a relationship with her? A committed one? Fuck. “Maybe we should give it a few days. Maybe you should just concentrate on getting through your mother’s funeral and then we can talk about it again.”
“Okay, but one thing you need to know about me is that I never say anything unless I’m sure about it. You think I’m all fucked up over my mother dying, and I am…but not too fucked up to know what I want. I want you, Dallas. I don’t want anyone else to have you.”
His statement was matter-of-fact, but even Dallas, a country girl who was slightly naive despite being brought up as a free spirit, knew it was a dangerous one. Doc possessed things, and people. He owned every person on the ranch and they all knew it. The question was, did she want to become one of his possessions? “Doc, if we did this…I would need the same commitment from you that you expect from me.”
“I just told you that I’m tired of the one-night-stands.”
“What if you change you
r mind? This ranch is like a little soap opera most of the time. I couldn’t stand to be made a fool of.”
“Neither could I,” he said. “I wouldn’t tolerate it and I wouldn’t expect you to.” He rolled toward her and put his lips against hers, softly. “Move in with me, Dallas. I can’t imagine there is another woman alive that could hold my interest for more than a few hours at a time.”
She still knew that wasn’t enough, but when he pressed his lips in harder and slipped his tongue into her mouth, her feelings began to wrestle with her thoughts. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. So what if it didn’t work out? She could just leave. She already had a small nest egg…she’d just keep saving, just in case.
He pulled back just slightly and said, “Say okay.”
“Doc,” she said, breathlessly. He kissed her again; this time it was a long, hot, lingering kiss.
“Say it,” he whispered when he broke the kiss again.
“Okay.”
Doc’s hands were all over her then, like an octopus. When one of them landed on her thigh long enough, she placed hers on top of it and pushed it up between her legs. He slid his fingers down the soft, wet crotch of her panties and she lifted her hips and spread her legs wider. Doc leaned over and found her mouth again, licking at her lips first and then letting his tongue probe inside. She felt one of his fingers dip underneath the elastic of her panties and her body convulsed, hard. He slipped it between the warm folds of her soaked pussy and moved it just enough to send goosebumps skittering down her arms and spine. She grabbed his face in her hands and pulled it in tighter, increasing the passion in the kiss until it practically smoldered between them. While they kissed, she slid her hands down and hooked them in the waist of his shorts and pushed them down. While her hand wrapped around his throbbing, hard cock, Doc pulled out of the kiss and began undressing her. She reluctantly let go of his cock to lift her arms so that he could free her of her shirt. But when he got it to her wrists, he left it there, with her hands over her head, and his hands went to her breasts. He teased and pinched her nipples, causing her to moan with delight. He leaned down and captured one of them between his lips. He held it there, licking and sucking and nibbling at it. She was shaking all over and she could feel the moisture slowly escaping her little panties and running down her thighs. No man had ever turned her on like this one did. He lit a fire inside of her that burned hot enough to melt them both.
When he was finished torturing both of her breasts, she felt him move off the bed. He reached down and grabbed her waist and pulled her toward him so that her legs were hanging off and nearly touching the floor, and then he slid her panties off her and tossed them aside. He stepped out of the shorts that had still been around his calves and then he just stood there with his hard cock twitching as he stared down at her with lust in his eyes.
She shuddered again when he dropped down to his knees and she felt his lips on her thighs. He began to place soft, slow kisses across them, letting his tongue play in the moisture there. Her moans were getting louder and her breathing ragged and she had to bite down on her bottom lip when he lifted one of her legs and placed it up on his shoulder. He started with his mouth just above her knee…kissing and licking his way back up, this time landing with a kiss to her bare pussy. She let out a little cry that seemed to spur him on more. He dove in then, shoving his tongue up inside of her. She felt the walls of her pussy spasm and she heard herself getting louder. She was trying to control it, but Doc seemed to be feeding off her moans. He pulled his tongue out and licked her all over before letting his teeth scrape along the side of her clit. Dallas’s hips came up off the bed and she grabbed his head again with both hands, tangling her fingers up in his hair and pulling him in tighter. She was thrusting and pumping her hips up and down, grinding into his face, ready to explode…when he pulled back.
“Oh, Doc,” she whimpered. Opening her eyes a little, she looked down at his face. He was grinning up at her, wickedly. He put his fingers where his tongue had just been, but rubbed her softly, almost like he was letting her calm down…before suddenly sliding two fingers up inside her, causing her to almost scream again. He moved them in and out of her, at last crooking one just enough to hit her G-spot and send her bottom half up off the bed so high that she felt like she might go through the roof. Once again, he backed off, this time standing up and using his hands on her hips to position her again while he stood between her legs. She reached for his cock, but he moved so she couldn’t grab it. Wrapping his hand around it, he began to run the head of it up and down her lips, wetting it with her juices. She gasped and moaned and then said, “Doc, you’re driving me crazy.”
He chuckled, but suddenly she felt the tip of him enter her and his hands go to her hips. He held her tightly and slid his cock up about halfway into her before pulling back and doing it again. She was shaking all over. She didn’t just want him at that point, she needed him. She opened her eyes again and looked up at him. His blue eyes were twinkling. He knew exactly what he was doing to her, and she could tell he was loving it. She arched her back and brought her hips up again…and he finally pushed himself all the way into her, filling her up. He held himself there and leaned down so he could rub her nipples while she was full of him. It was almost over-stimulating. She was so hot and so excited that she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was whimpering and moaning and clawing at his chest.
She felt him push forward with his strong thighs, pushing her back on the bed without losing too much of the connection between them. As he pushed her, he lowered himself down so when she was all the way on the bed, he was too, with his weight on top of her. He pushed himself up with his hands so that she could breathe and when he finally began to thrust and pump his cock in and out of her, his lips went to her neck and she felt him suck a piece in between his teeth. She knew he was going to leave a mark…his brand. He was serious about making her his and his alone. She only hoped he was just as serious about being hers alone as well. She lost that thought, and any other when he started circling his big cock around inside her slick, wet, body. It was like he was trying to touch every part of her and she ground her body into his, trying to help. She felt like she was losing the ability to breathe. She was digging her fingernails into his shoulders now, whispering things into his ear that even she didn’t understand. It just felt so fucking good that she felt like she was going to lose her mind. Her orgasm was coming this time and nothing was going to stop it. She gripped onto him tighter and she felt the walls of her pussy clamp down around his shaft. Doc must have felt it too because he raised his head and put his hot lips to her ear and said:
“Come for me, baby.”
She did. The sound of his voice and the feeling of his hot breath in her ear was what finally triggered her orgasm…and she came so hard that she wasn’t sure she was ever going to stop. Each time she began to relax, another wave would hit her, and Doc just kept on gliding in and out of her, leading her toward an ecstasy unlike any she’d ever felt before.
Once she finished at last, she felt his mouth back on her skin. He licked, kissed, bit…devoured her neck and her chest and shoulders. Then suddenly he growled, “Put your hands up.” She didn’t hesitate to raise them up over her head. He slid one hand along her arm and when he reached her wrists, he wrapped them both up in one of his big hands. He was holding her so tightly that it hurt slightly, but it was such a turn-on to her, for him to be completely in control…especially because she could see in his face that he was just as turned on. Suddenly she felt his big, hard cock swell and every muscle that was pressing into her tightened like steel. He let out a sexy, primal sound and she thought he might have said “Mine” again, just before his orgasm exploded inside her. It was incredible. It was hot. It was amazing…and when he collapsed down on top of her and pressed his lips to her ear again he said, “I want to fuck you like that every day. Okay?” She nodded. She was breathless and unable to form words, or so she thought. “Say it. Say you’ll fuck me and only me lik
e that…every day, Dallas.”
“Yes, Doc, you and me…every day. Only you. I’ll only fuck you.” At that point, she would have promised him anything. It wasn’t that she didn’t mean it either…but she still had the idea in her head that if it didn’t work out, she’d be able to just walk away…simple.
12
Doc stood in the background as the other mourners gathered around the casket with the preacher. His father was sitting up in the front row along with two aunts that he hadn’t seen in decades. He recognized a few cousins in the crowd and some of the people his parents had been friends with his entire life. He didn’t want to talk to any of them. He’d only come because he was afraid that wherever his mother was, she would somehow know if he wasn’t there to see her off. He’d skipped the church service. He couldn’t even remember the last time he set foot in a church. He stood with his arms folded over his chest and his dark sunglasses covering his eyes and blocking out the offensively bright sun. The flowers were blooming along the edges of the fence that surrounded the cemetery, red and yellow and orange and pink…his mother would have loved them. He hoped at least that she could see them.
His eyes went to the white casket at the center of everyone’s attention. He had spoken to the man at the funeral parlor and he was told that the church service would be open casket. He hated the idea of people looking at her with all of the life drained out of her and he didn’t have any desire to do that himself. He wanted to remember her as the robust, pink-cheeked, always smiling woman who had raised him. She always forgave him. She always loved him. She was always his biggest fan. His thoughts went to Dallas and he suddenly wondered if that was why he was so insistent that she move in with him so soon. Was he looking for those qualities in a woman, the ones that his mother had possessed…someone with the ability to love him no matter how much of an asshole he was? He wasn’t sure if that was Dallas. She could be headstrong, and she was opinionated, smart, and strong…but he sensed her heart was good and he knew that only a goodhearted woman like his mother could ever see through all his faults to love him.
