Mason shifts his weight, his gaze focused on his brother before it reluctantly slides to mine. Silence descends, becoming equally as stifling as the tension that fills the air between them. If it were possible to slip out of Hunter’s arms and make a dash for the door, I would.
Mason pulls off his ballcap and plows a hand through his hair. He winces as he lifts his arm. That’s when I notice the scar cutting across his forehead.
Even though I shouldn’t feel anything other than disdain for Mason, my heart fills with sorrow. When their parents died, his life was turned upside down. He was forced to grow up overnight and shoved into a stressful situation he was ill-prepared to deal with. Not once have I ever doubted that he loved Hunter and wanted only the best for him. It’s how Mason chose to go about it that was wrong. In the end, he hurt the one person he spent years trying to protect.
“Mason was just leaving,” Hunter snaps. “Isn’t that right?”
Misery flashes across his older brother’s face as he nods. “Yeah.” Mason shuffles his feet before hesitantly turning toward me. “I owe you an apology, Skye. Forcing you to leave was wrong. All I wanted was for Hunter to have the best chance of making it to the NFL. I didn’t want to see something else get taken away from him.” He gulps as his gaze flickers to his younger brother before coming back to settle on mine. “I realize there isn’t anything I can do to make it up to either one of you, but I’m sorry for the pain I caused.”
Hunter’s arm tightens around me as he pulls me closer. From the stoic expression painted across his face, I realize there is no forgiveness in his heart.
Mason must recognize it as well. “Okay then,” he mumbles. “I should go.” Tentatively he lays a hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “Maybe you can stop by the house this weekend and we can talk.”
Hunter shrugs off his brother’s hand. “I don’t think so. There’s a lot going on.”
“Oh.” Mason’s shoulders sink. “Maybe another time then.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
Mason’s gaze flits to mine. There is so much sadness filling his eyes that it’s almost too much to bear. This is the reason I didn’t tell Hunter the truth. I didn’t want to cause a rift between them.
Hunter’s muscles remain locked in place until his brother disappears from the restaurant. Only then does his grip on me loosen.
“I’m sorry about that.” There is so much pain buried in those words. “If I’d known that we would run into him, I would have never brought you here.”
“It’s not your fault, you don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
He sighs as sadness fills his gaze. Maybe he won’t admit it, but this conflict with Mason weighs heavily on him. How could it not? Other than his older brother, Hunter is alone in the world. Ever since their parents died, it’s been just the two of them. They need each other.
“We should probably head back to campus,” he says.
I hoist my smile and nod. “Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.”
As much as I’ve enjoyed spending time with Hunter, a little distance is needed.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Hunter
W ell…that didn’t go as planned. We’d been having a great time before Mason showed up and blew it all to shit.
I flick my gaze at the girl sitting quietly next to me as we head back to campus. I have no idea what’s going through her head. I’m almost afraid to ask. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She shifts her body toward mine. “I didn’t realize that you and Mason weren’t talking.”
My grip tightens around the steering wheel. Even thinking about what my brother did pisses me off. If he’s under the impression that some lame-ass apology is going to fix things between us, he’s got another thing coming. As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing my brother can do to repair the damage he inflicted.
“I haven’t spoken to him since the car accident.” My jaw clenches as I push out the rest. “Not since I found out what he did.”
“Oh.” With her brows furrowed, she turns and stares out the windshield.
Fury and resentment bubble up inside me and I try to tamp it down. “I have nothing to say to him. Maybe when I’ve calmed down, we’ll be able to hash things out. But right now?” I shake my head. “That’s not going to happen.” I can’t imagine a time when I’ll be able to look him in the eyes and forgive him for driving Skye away.
Her hand settles on my forearm. “I’m sorry that he hurt you.”
I spear a hard look in her direction and remind her gruffly, “He hurt both of us, not just me. He took away the most important person in my life.” It still blows my mind that he did it. What the hell had Mason been thinking?
“I should have said something, but I didn’t want to cause problems between the two of you. You and Mason have always been so close. He’s the only family you have left. It seemed selfish to take that away from you.”
I jerk my shoulders and keep my gaze focused on the ribbon of road stretched out in front of me. “He put you in a shit position, Skye, and I don’t blame you for any of it. He’s the one I hold accountable. And now he has to live with the repercussions.”
“I know, but he’s your brother,” she says gently. “No matter how messed up what he did was, in his mind, he had your best interests at heart. He wanted to see you achieve your dreams.”
“If that were true, he wouldn’t have taken you away from me. As much as I love football, you have always been the most important thing in my life.”
Not only did he steal years from the past, he stole our future. How can I forgive him for that? I’ve never gotten over the loss of Skye. As much as I wanted to believe that I had moved on, it was never the truth.
“I hope, at some point, you’ll consider sitting down and talking to him.” Her voice fills with emotion as she looks away. “You know better than most that people can be yanked from your life without any warning. Don’t waste time being angry. Let it go and move on.”
Easier said than done.
Silence surrounds us as I pull into the parking lot of her townhouse. I cut the engine and angle my body toward her. There is so much I want to say, but I’m not sure if Skye is ready to hear it. There’s a good possibility she may never be ready.
The moment my gaze locks on hers, it feels like I’m drowning in her green depths. Attraction sizzles in the air between us. When it becomes almost suffocating, Skye clears her throat and shifts on the leather seat. It’s a struggle to hold back and not pull her into my arms.
“Thanks again for the counseling appointment,” she murmurs. “And for lunch.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.” Unable to help myself, I lift my hand and cradle her cheek in my palm. My thumb strokes absently over her lower lip.
She’s so fucking beautiful. Not only on the outside, but inside as well. She’s the best person I know. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her. I can’t imagine going through the rest of my life without Skye by my side. And yet here I am, mentally preparing myself for the possibility that she may never reciprocate my feelings. I allowed my anger and resentment to fuck up everything between us. Just like Mason has to live with the consequences of his decisions, so do I.
Her breath catches and it’s the sexiest sound in the whole damn world.
“I should go,” she whispers.
I nod when she remains seated next to me, her gaze locked on mine.
Slow, I tell myself. I need to take everything with her at a snail’s pace. Skye has enough going on in her life without me pushing her into a relationship. What she needs from me is friendship and that, I can give her.
I close the distance between us until my mouth can ghost over hers. When her pupils dilate and her lips part, I reach around her, grab the handle, and pop open the door.
“I’m glad we could do this,” I murmur. Our faces are no more than an inch apart. It wouldn’t take much to press my lips against hers.
“Me, too
.”
“I’ll see you soon?” I need to know that she isn’t going to lock me out of her life again. The last couple of weeks have been brutal.
Skye nods as her teeth sink into her lower lip.
A groan rumbles up from my chest.
She leans forward until her mouth is able to brush against mine. As fleeting as the kiss is, it doesn’t make it any less meaningful. And then she’s gone, disappearing from the inside of my car. My gaze stays fastened on her as she walks to the door. After she slides the key into the lock, she glances over her shoulder and meets my eyes. There’s a moment of connection that passes between us and it only reaffirms everything I know to be true in my heart.
This girl is my everything.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Skye
“ Give it to me straight.” Lanie drops down next to me on the couch with a massive bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce poured over the top. It’s more sauce than ice cream. “How pissed off are you about the counseling appointment? You know how much I hate it when you’re angry.”
“I’m not mad.” If anything, I’m grateful my friends care enough about me to seek out support when I’m unable to do it for myself. “It was really helpful. In fact, I’ve already made another appointment for next week.”
She shoves the spoon in her mouth before saying, “I’m glad you’re going to talk to someone. We’ve all been really concerned about you.”
“I’m sorry, I never meant to worry you.” I glance down at my fingers. “I was trying to deal with everything the best way I knew how.”
“Oh, honey.” Lanie reaches out and squeezes my hand. “You know how much Jax and I love you. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you.” She gives a helpless shrug. “But we weren’t sure how to support you.”
“You’re a good friend, Lanie. You’ve always been there for me. And that’s enough.”
All of this emotional upheaval is a mess. There are times when I’d like to talk with someone and just unload, but if I do, I get upset and breakdown. It’s both physically and mentally exhausting. It just seems easier to keep everything bottled up inside where I don’t have to dwell on it, but that’s not good either. I’m hoping Dr. Mestoff can help me deal with all the anger and sadness I’m experiencing in a healthier way.
I stifle a yawn before rising to my feet. “I’m tired, I think I’ll go to bed.”
Life, at the moment, is grueling. Most of the time, it feels like I’m simply going through the motions. I’m doing my best to keep it all together, but it’s not easy. I have to remind myself to focus on one day at a time. If I start imagining what life will look like in a month or six months, I get overwhelmed and my brain shuts down. Then all I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep. Apparently, that’s not a very effective strategy for dealing with grief.
“All right. I’m going to wait up for Jax. He’s staying over tonight.”
I smirk. “So what you’re telling me is that I should plan on using my noise-cancelling headphones?”
“You know it, girl,” she says with a laugh.
“I’ll have them ready.” As I head to the bedroom, I call over my shoulder, “See you in the morning.”
“Night.”
After changing into a tank top and shorts, I wash my face and brush my teeth before turning out the lights. Once between the sheets, I close my eyes but sleep refuses to come. Everything that happened today loops through my brain.
Hunter.
The appointment with Dr. Mestoff.
Lunch at Melvin’s.
And running into Mason.
No matter what I’m thinking about, somehow my mind always circles back to Hunter. He’s the one constant in all this. If I’m being honest, it’s been that way since the very beginning. Hunter was such a major part of my life. After we broke up, I spent years trying to push him from my thoughts. There have been times when I was successful in my attempts, but it’s impossible now that we attend the same college.
I’ve spent the last couple of weeks trying to avoid him. It seemed easier that way. With Dad’s illness, I’ve pared my life down to the bare essentials. But Hunter makes that difficult. The man I spent time with this afternoon was so reminiscent of the boy I fell in love with. Earlier today when he dropped me off, it took everything I had inside to force myself from the car. Instead of leaving, I wanted to curl up in his arms and stay there forever. When we’re together, it’s as if my chest loosens and I can finally breathe again.
Making a split-second decision, I roll over and swipe my phone off the nightstand. Before I can overthink it, I tap out a message and press send.
Thanks again for today.
It’s short, sweet, and to the point. Almost immediately, my cell dings with an incoming message. Anticipation rushes through me as I open the text.
You don’t have to thank me. I want to help.
A warm feeling grows in my heart and a smile curves my lips.
It helped more than you could know.
For the first time in weeks, I feel like I’m going to get through this. There are resources available and I don’t have to do it all by myself.
Whatever you need, baby, I’m here.
Baby.
Pleasure shoots through me. It’s what he used to call me when we were together.
Unsure how to respond, or even if I should, I set the phone down and roll onto my side. There is something so achingly familiar about being with Hunter. Now that he knows the truth, it feels like it would be all too easy to fall back into a relationship again. But is that necessarily a good idea?
I’m already drowning in my life. Anything more and I’ll go under.
When my phone chimes with another message, I tell myself to ignore it. My resolve lasts for approximately thirty seconds before I roll over and snatch the phone off the table.
One text leads to another as we slip into an easy conversation and spend the next two hours rehashing the past. It feels so good to talk to him again. If there’s one person who understands what I’m going through, it’s Hunter. Part of me wants so badly to let him back into my life, but I need to be cautious.
By the time he finally tells me to go to bed, my eyelids are drooping and I’m about to fall asleep. We make plans to meet up at the library in a few days to work on our project.
With everything that has been going on, I haven’t put nearly the amount of time into researching our topic as I should have. Whenever I have a free moment, I choose to spend it with Dad. Everything else in my life feels so much less important. Unfortunately, my grades reflect that decision. Unwilling to dwell on school, I push it from my head.
One day at a time, I remind myself. That’s all I can do.
Remember I’m always here for you, baby.
As I drift off to sleep, his words bring me more comfort than they probably should.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Hunter
“ Great game last weekend, Price!”
I flash a quick smile. “Thanks, man.”
“We’re all looking forward to this Saturday’s game against Georgia. It’s going to be a tough one.”
“Yup.” I tip my head in acknowledgment. “I’ve been watching a ton of game film.”
“Good luck, we’ll be cheering for you.”
“Appreciate the support.” With that, I pull open the doors to the library and jog up the staircase to the second floor where I’m meeting Skye. There’s a definite pep in my step. I can’t wait to have her all to myself for a couple of hours. Maybe we’re only working at the library, but it doesn’t matter. It’s enough to be close to her.
I’m trying my best to navigate this new relationship with Skye. She needs me to be her friend and that’s exactly what I’m trying to give her. Friendship. Instead of being all up in her face, I’ve pulled back and have been giving her space to breathe. Space to work through her emotions.
It sucks. All I want to do is protect her from anything that will cause her heartache. When sh
e hurts, I hurt. That’s just the way it is. I’ve accepted it.
Skye still holds me at a distance, but it’s not as great as it once was. Every night, I fall into bed and we text for hours. It’s like we’re getting to know each other all over again. It’s only through our silent messaging that she’s willing to open up and tell me everything that’s going on in her life. She talks about her dad and how she wants him to make a miraculous recovery but knows that’s not going to happen. It breaks my heart that she has to go through this.
As soon as I reach the landing on the second floor, I glance around, immediately spotting Skye tucked into a corner with her laptop open. I take a few steps before realizing that she’s not alone.
Some dude is chatting her up.
And he’s got that look in his eye.
You know the one I’m talking about.
If he could gobble her up in one tasty bite, he’d do it. My natural inclination is to rush over and stake my claim, but I won’t do that. At the end of the day, Skye isn’t mine. She’s free to see whoever she wants.
It takes a few moments to lock down the jealousy surging through me. Once I’m fairly confident I won’t tear this guy limb from limb, I force myself to walk slowly toward them. Skye glances at me as soon as I sidle up to the table.
“Hey,” she says with a smile curving her lips. I have no idea if that look is meant for me or the bonehead who hasn’t made himself scarce. For all I know, I’m the bonehead who needs to leave.
“Hey, yourself.” I shift and glance at the guy even though I’d much rather ignore him. His face lights up as soon as he recognizes me. He should be reserving that look for Skye, not me. Doesn’t he realize how completely amazing this girl is?
Don’t worry, I won’t be the one who clues him in.
“Hunter Price!”
I give him a chin lift in greeting. “How’s it going?”
Heartless Page 23
