My body has become weightless. I am being carried. I can barely register the warm water that now engulfs me. I can barely register the warm body that holds me against him. I can hear the boy murmur something, but I can’t make out his words.
I know I am in his arms. I know that I am being cared for. I know that I am safe, yet the little, faint voice in the back of my still conscious mind screams otherwise. I am losing her. She is disappearing into the abyss of my consciousness, but she is strong. She is a fighter and she will not give up. “Wake up!” she screams, but it is too late. The darkness has taken over. The darkness has pulled me under.
“Emmm. Oh Emmm,” speaks a soft, distant, but familiar voice.
“Hmm,” I hum, too exhausted to open my eyes or speak.
“Wake up sleepy head. Your alarm has been going off for ten minutes. You’re lucky I came to check on you.”
My mind is drifting back into slumber. If I speak, then I will wake and all I wanted to do right now, was just sleep. So, I stay quiet.
“Em! Wake your butt up now!” she shouts. My eyes open wide, when a soft pressure hits my face. My mom smacked me with a pillow.
“What the Hell mom,” I whine, closing my eyes to avoid the bright sunlight, peaking from my window.
“What did I tell you about that kind of language? What time did you go to bed last night?” Her questioning tone then turns sympathetic. “Oh no... did you stay up late watching the news? I knew I should have waited to tell you. I’m sorry honey. Last thing you needed, was to go to sleep with that kind of gore on your mind.”
“What?” I ask in confusion. I attempt to sit up and open my heavy eyes.
“You can stay home today, if you want. Lord knows you’re safer at home than out there. Your teachers should understand that. Heck, Hollowcreek was on lockdown when this happened back when I was in high school. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before the town declares the same, this go around.”
“What are you talking about, mom?” I am far too delirious for her morning rambling.
I can feel myself fall back asleep, while sitting upright. I feel my mom comb my hair with her fingers. The massaging only relaxes me even more.
“Didn’t you watch the news after I told you to?” she asks.
“Huh?”
“Last night. Before you got in the shower. I told you there was another beheading.” I take a deep breath and open my eyes.
“Mom. I seriously don’t remember you saying anything about any beheading. Now can I please go back to sleep. I’m so tired,” I whimper.
“That’s strange. You responded to me. Why wouldn’t you remember? You weren’t drunk, we’re you?” she asks.
“No mom. I wasn’t drunk. I was just—" My eyes go wide. I instantly freeze. I remember...
“You okay there?” mom asks.
Holy fucking shit. Austin... It’s all coming back to me. He was in my bathroom. He did the fire thing to my body again. It’s all fuzzy after that, but I think I must have passed out sometime after. What the Hell happened? I remember water... I think he helped me shower. Did anything else happen afterwards between us? I don’t remember.
“Wait. You said I responded back to you?” I ask, as I scratch my head.
“Yeah. Clear as day,” she states.
I remember hearing my voice, yet I don’t remember speaking. It doesn’t make sense. Why doesn’t it make sense?
“You feel okay honey?” my mom asks, as she places her palm against my forehead, inspecting me of a fever. “You’re not hot, so that’s good,” she says.
Hot... Burning... Fire... Fire! Austin’s fire thing must have made me loopy. Maybe that’s why I don’t remember speaking to my mom.
“I’m okay. I’m just tired. I guess I haven’t been getting much sleep lately,” I reply.
“I don’t blame you. This is a lot to process. Especially now, considering the latest murder was of a man who lived near us.” I am fully awake at this point.
“Wait. What did you say?” I gaze intently at my mom, waiting for her to answer.
“You mean, about the guy being from our neighborhood?” she repeats.
“Yeah. Who? Do we know him?” I quickly ask.
“I mean, I don’t know him. Your father has seen him passing down the road in his truck. More like speeding down the road. He’s yelled at him a few—" I cut her off.
“Was his truck blue?” I blurt. Mom seems a little taken back as she tilts her head and purses her brows.
“Yeah. Your dad said it was blue... did you know him honey?” I yank the covers off my legs and jump out of bed.
I stand up way too fast, almost falling to the ground.
“Easy there, honey. You okay?” mom asks, standing from the bed, to quickly catch me.
“Yeah. I’m fine. I need to get ready for school,” I say, as I make my way to my dresser and pull out some clothes.
“Okay. Well, take it slow. It’s okay if you’re a little late to school. I can drive you when you’re ready. I’ll be downstairs,” she says.
“Okay,” I say, while walking into my closet, to find an outfit and get dressed.
Before my mom walks out, I stop her.
“Mom!” She stops right between the doorframe and turns to me.
“What’s up?”
“You said the guy was beheaded. Where did they find his body? His head?” My mom takes a deep breath and bites her bottom lip before speaking,
“They found him Monday. Alongside old highway six. His truck must have veered off to the side, as they say he must have swerved to avoid something or someone in the road. His body was found inside his truck. He still had his seatbelt on.”
“And his head?” I dare to ask. My mom hesitates before speaking,
“On his hood,” she nervously admits.
“On display...” I mumble under my breath.
“Huh?” she says.
“Nothing.”
I gaze down at my closet floor in shock. My mouth hangs open and my eyes blink rapidly. Jesus... Not another one. Please God, not another one. I fall to the floor. I am frozen. Pinned.
Mom had walked out and I was glad that she did. I didn’t want her to see me like this. She didn’t need to see me broken. Not like this.
My breathing picks up. The lump in my throat threatens to turn into a sob. My lips quiver. My eyes turn glossy and then I brake. I crumble to a million pieces.
I’m on the floor, in my closet and I am sobbing, silently against my hands.
“This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening,” I repeat, while crying.
Is this just one, big coincidence? Am I to blame again? I mean, the guy almost ran me down, in the middle of the street, that day I was crossing to see— Austin... I sit up and dry my eyes.
“Austin,” I whisper.
A negative thought begins forming in the pit of my mind.
“He did it,” she accuses. No. No. I shut her down immediately. No. Austin isn’t to blame. No way. “He killed the dog,” she says. So what? Just because he killed a dog, doesn’t mean he killed the others. “Yes,” she answers. No. Stop it. Shut up! I internally scream.
“Lies,” whispers another voice.
NO! I shout, shutting up both voices. No… God, help me. I think I am going crazy. I’m losing my mind… I’m losing my effing mind. No. There is no way. Austin is good. He wouldn’t— He couldn’t— No.
Deep down, the faint voice in the back of my mind whispered its truth, but it was the other voice that shut it down, silencing it to the deepest, darkest corner. It’s that voice I want to believe. It’s that voice that I choose to believe.
My heart is pounding. My anxiety growing rampant. Logic laid out the evidence. My mind is just refusing to accept it. I am in complete denial. It’s as if, something in me is blocking such thoughts, refusing to let them surface. Every time I began to put two and two together, my mind goes blank. Eventually forgetting what I was just thinking. Something is fighting me within, but what?
Why?
I’m going crazy. I’m going fucking crazy!
I’m pulling at my hair again. I’m on the verge of laughing, as I smile and shake my head. Stress. I can feel it. So much stress put upon me in less than a week. How much can one single human take, before they exploded? Suppressing everything, can’t be helping either.
I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Relax. Calm. Breathe Emilia. I am finding myself growing more relaxed, little by little. My head is a bit dizzy, but I am better. Better than I was.
“Pull yourself together kid. You’ll figure this out,” I tell myself.
I slowly stand, wipe my eyes and take a deep breath.
“I’ve got this. You’ve got this Em,” I speak out loud.
“You’ve got this,” whispers the darker voice inside.
CHAPTER 11 - I’VE LOST ALL CONTROL
My mom pulls up, in front of my school.
“Enjoy your day honey. Call or text me if you need anything, or if you want me to pick you up after school,” she says, just as I open the car door.
“Okay mom. Will do,” I tell her.
“Byyyye!” I hear her shout. I glance back at her.
“Bye mom.” I step out of the car and shut the door. Mom drives off behind me. I turn and watch her, until she disappears down the road. The kid in me, wants my mom to turn back and keep me close, but I woman up and carry on.
I make my way up the school steps. The ones Austin and I disappeared from yesterday, when he teleported us away. Teleported. I smile and laugh lightly. What a strange thing to admit so casually. We effing teleported! I walk into school, still shaking my head at the strange thought.
I check the time on my phone. I’m late, but not late enough to have missed all first period. I see a few texts from Van, but I ignore them for now. She’ll see me in a few. I check in at the office first, to get an excuse, then head to class.
I open the door, interrupting the teacher mid-sentence. All eyes turn to me as I walk in, but the only eyes who hold my attention are the baby blue ones. I instantly feel him. His emotions over power my own. Relief. He was worried about me. Is worried about me, but also excited to see me. I recall what he once said to me, “you’re a roller coaster of emotions.” Well, it is now he, who truly is.
I hand my excuse to the teacher and go to take my seat. I eye the blue-eyed beauty, as I walk to my chair. His look is serious, worried, relieved. I feel it as much as I see it.
I turn, facing away from him as I sit. The teacher resumes his lecture and all eyes focus off me. All but a certain someone’s. That someone being the blue-eyed boy behind me. I can feel those piercing eyes glued to my back.
I’m suddenly hit with a wave of anxiety. I’m nervous. I can feel him. I can feel him swirl around in me, slithering rapidly throughout every vein. He is searching me. Feeling me. Exploring my inner most desires and emotions. It’s overwhelming yet warming. I need him yet can’t help but fear him at the same time. Why though? Why do I fear him? He won’t hurt me.
My mind battles between two these two conflicting emotions. Fear versus need. One voice scream’s “run,” while the other screams “stay.” These voices… they are always screaming. Always fighting. Always wanting to be heard. Shut up, I warn the voices. There’s nothing to fear. “Austin is good. He is good,” the loudest voice whispers. “No. He is bad. Run Emilia. RUN!”
The voices in my head are driving me crazy. He is driving me crazy. Van is driving me crazy. Cole is driving me crazy. My town being hunted down by a crazed, psycho killer is driving me crazy. I wish they’d all just shut up. Everyone shut up! Get out! Get out! Get out! I scream internally. I suddenly feel this strong, foreign urge. Instinct warns me to resist. I’m fighting it. Why am I fighting? What am I fighting?
My head is forced to turn. Little by little, it moves to my side. My resistance is weak. I am moving against my own free will. I am no longer in control. I’ve lost all control. What the Hell is happening?
I am now facing him. I see him. I see that beautiful, brooding face. He is upset. Confused. Hurt. Why? What did I do? I try to turn away, but I can’t. I’m locked in. He has me trapped. Held hostage. Is this what this is? Is he controlling me? Can he do that? My mind panics. Fear now controls me. I’m paralyzed.
A single tear escapes my eye as is trickles down my cheek. His lips part and his serious gaze changes to one of concern. I see him take a deep breath and relax. I instantly gasp for air. My body relaxes. I am released. I am in control. I turn away and gaze down at my desk.
I feel a hand give my knee a gentle squeeze. I glance up, to see Van gazing back. She gives me a sympathetic smile and mouths, “are you okay?” I don’t know Van. I don’t know anything anymore.
I can’t speak. I’m frozen once again. I’ve lost my mind. I’ve really lost my mind this time. Tears stream down my cheeks and I go to quickly wipe them away. Van begins to mouth something, but the bell interrupts her. Everyone jumps up all at once.
I stay seated where I am, paralyzed by my own trauma. As the room begins to clear, Van stands beside me, bending to my height.
“Emilia. Talk to me. What’s going on?” she worriedly asks. I can’t look at her. I can’t move my eyes from my desk. Fear has me pinned. He has me pinned.
I feel him growing closer. I see him standing beside me. From my peripheral, I can see Van raise to her height, while her and Austin gaze at one another.
“Go. I’ll take care of her,” Austin tells her.
“The Hell you won’t. You’ve known her what? Two days? No, you can go. I got this. I’ve known my girl way longer than you have pretty boy,” Van fights back.
“I said go. Don’t make me say it again—" he growls, but Van interrupts him before he can finish threatening her.
“Or what? Hmm? You threaten me, you better back it up, because I’m not moving. So, keep on walking or—" I had enough. I jump to my feet.
“Van! Austin! Both of you just shut up! I’m fine! Just leave me alone!” I shout. I storm past Van and run out the door. I can sense them run after me, but somewhere along the way, they both stopped. Maybe I lost them. Maybe they gave up, or maybe they realized it was best to give me some space.
I round the corner, at the end of the hall and make my way towards the outside doors, at the back of the school. Once I am outside, I follow a path, that leads me between two isolated buildings. I slump down, alongside the brick wall. The spot is secluded, hidden and away from any wondering eyes and it’s just what I needed.
I sit here, trying to collect myself. To be honest. I don’t know what I am more upset about. Am I upset about all the mysterious murders, happening around town? Am I upset that I thought I had something to do with them? Am I upset, because I am beginning to assume Austin had something to do with them? Am I upset about him keeping secrets from me, or am I upset from what happened last weekend, at the party? I mean, the tragic death of that dog from last night may very well have something to do with the way I feel too, but I don’t know for sure.
I have a lot to be upset about and I think it is all just starting to catch up to me. I know I’m losing my mind, but now I know for sure. I am batshit crazy! Lock me up, because I have lost my damn mind!
I close my eyes and tap the back of my head against the hard, brick wall behind me over and over and over.
“I’m crazy. I’m crazy. I’m crazy—"
“Crazy huh?” No. My eyes open quickly. My jaw clenches and my nostrils flare.
“Cole,” I dryly say.
“What’s going on?” he asks, as he squats in front of me.
“Nothing,” I say.” He attempts to reach for my cheek, but I turn my head, making him miss. He withdraws his hand.
“Aww. Come on. You used to talk to me. I thought we were close. We used to talk about everything. Besties forever, remember? You, me and Van forever,” he happily reminds.
I say nothing, as I gaze in the opposite direction of him. He stands and moves to sit b
eside me, against the wall. I turn my head and gaze at my thighs.
“Is it because of last weekend? Did we move too fast? Look, I know you probably feel guilty, because Van likes me, but she doesn’t need to know, or we could tell her. I don’t care anymore. It’ll break her heart, but at least we can finally be together—" Oh, Hell no.
“What? Are you serious right now? Seriously? How demented are you? You call yourself our friend yet you— you—" I can’t say it. I can’t... despite how much, I want to confront him, I can’t…
That always cheerful smile of his, disappears and is now replaced with one serious look.
“I what? Huh? What were you going to say?” he asks. I shake my head and stand.
“Nothing,” I quietly mutter, while gazing down. He quickly jumps to his feet, blocking my path. Both his arms rest beside me, flat against the brick wall, trapping me.
“No. You tell me what you were going to say. What is it you want to say, Emilia?” he demands to know.
“Leave her the fuck alone,” says one terrifyingly, angry giant. I sigh in relief and turn towards him. He’s standing away at a distance, eyeing the both of us with hostility. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have sighed in relief just yet.
“Mind your own business new kid. I’m just talking with my friend,” Cole warns. I take that opportunity to escape his arms by ducking under one and walking away.
Instincts tell me to go towards blue eyes for safety, but they also tell me to just keep on walking. Ehh. It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.
Austin’s watches me, as I grow closer. Probably waiting to see what move I’d make. I decide to make it easy for him. When I reach him, I lightly smile, grab his hand and give it a squeeze. He squeezes back, but never lets up. I stand beside him, as he refocuses his glare at Cole, who is now standing tall and cocky.
“Don’t ever let me find you near her again. In fact, you come close enough to breathe the same air as her, I’ll have your head,” blue eyes warns. Cole laughs. He laughs! What the—
“Nice threat douchebag! Kind of inconsiderate to joke around about, at a time like this but goes to show how sick you are. And for your information, Emilia was my friend, long before you ever showed up—" Austin interrupts him,
THE MONSTER INSIDE ME: The Immortal Chronicles: Book One Page 10
