“Umm. I think so.” I try to recall. I mean, I’ve experienced tons of times where I felt emotional, but was it due to him, or was it from me?
“Then there’s your answer. If you concentrate on those foreign emotions, you’ll be able to separate our emotions and trace mine to me. You’ll know what I’m feeling at all times.” His hand on my ass, slides under my shirt, and moves up my back. He caresses my skin and I sigh at the sensual sensation of his magnetic touch.
“That’s so cool. Everything. All of this between us is so cool,” I tell him.
“I’m glad you think so. It’s only going to become cooler over time,” he says. I scoot myself closer to him. Snuggling up, flat against him. That knee of his raises even further, now resting against my throbbing core.
“I can’t wait,” I breathlessly say, under closed eyes. His knee is massaging me below. Moving slowly, back and forth against me and it is Heaven. Pure blissful, Heaven.
“In time, you will know all, but not until you are ready,” he says.
“Ready for what exactly?” I ask. He brushes my hair behind my ear and runs his fingers through my long locks.
“To fully be mine,” he says.
“I thought I already was yours,” I remind. My hand leaves his cheek and lays against his chest.
“No, my sweet. Not until I have taken your soul.” I gasp. A rush of anxiety floods my entire being. My heart races. Fear. I should feel terrified at what he just said, yet my mind refuses to register the meaning.
“My what? Is that like a metaphor for stealing my heart?”
He sighs and wraps both arms around me, holding me tight against him. I rest the side of my face against his chest, just below his chin. He leaves me a long kiss on top my forehead before speaking,
“Relax, my sweet. Go back to sleep,” he tells me. I can feel my mind and body begin to calm as he holds me against him.
“Why do you always change the subject when I ask a question?” He always does this. It’s so annoying.
He brings his palm to my forehead and holds it there. Is he checking me for a fever?
“I love how warm you are,” I say. “You’re like a heating pad. My very own personal—"
“Sleep,” he commands and sleep I... do...
CHAPTER 15 - I’M SORRY
I wake the next morning, to an empty pillow beside me. I sigh and go to lay a hand on it. It’s still warm. God, I already missed him so much.
I sit up in bed, staring blankly ahead. My mind goes to my best friend. I think about Van. I replay yesterday’s events over and over like a virtual movie. I felt so ashamed of how I had reacted. What the Hell was wrong with me, and where had all that anger come from?
Van had every right to be upset with me. Will she still be upset with me? Will she even talk to me? I can just apologize. Everything will be fine after I apologize. She can’t be mad at me forever, right?
Thoughts of Cole invade my mind next. What am I going to do about him? I’m so angry with him. Still so furious. He had betrayed me. He had betrayed my trust. He had betrayed our friendship. Thinking of him makes my blood boil. I can’t allow him to be with Van. He’ll hurt her. He’ll hurt her like he hurt me. I have to stop him before it’s too late. I have to tell Van.
Will she believe me? She won’t... I know Van. She’ll become just as defensive as I had become with Austin. Van is in love with Cole. She’d take his side and assume I’m lying, or would some part of her believe me? We have been best friends since forever. I have never once lied to her. I never would. She should know that. She should believe me.
My eyes begin to gloss over. My jaw is clenched, and I try so hard not to cry. I close my eyes and then a heavy tear falls. I wipe it away and take a deep, shaky breath.
“Not today, Emilia. Not today,” I tell myself. No. Today I will be strong. Today, I will survive. Today, I will let go. Today, I will surrender.
I walk into school. The main hallway is full of roaming kids, running around and hanging out. As I pass each one, all I hear is talk of the latest headless victim.
I don’t really know how I feel about it. I should feel panicked, like the rest of everyone, but I’m not. I’m... annoyed? Why do I feel annoyed?
My eyes shoot up and I come to a halt. It’s blue eyes. A smirk slowly forms into a wide grin when he notices me. He stalks towards me, while I’m glued to where I am. All noise and the sight of others around me, fade into nothing. They are nothing. He is everything. My everything.
I am breathing rapidly. Waiting for him to draw closer. Waiting for him to touch me. The bond is pulling us. Beckoning us to be together. He finally reaches me, standing close, towering over me. His hand reaches for my face, running his fingers over my skin and through my hair. My eyes close and I smile happily. His fingers gently scratch the back of my head and I lean into his palm and sigh.
“My Emilia,” he softly speaks.
“My blue eyes,” I say. I open my eyes and stare into his. His soft smile grows wider. He’s happy to see me. I’m happy to see him too.
He pulls my head close and kisses my forehead. I sigh again after feeling those warm, wet lips on my skin. He pulls back, still holding the back of my head.
“Did you sleep well?” he asks.
“Yes. Very. I don’t think I had any dreams. I must have been out cold,” I say.
“You needed the rest. I could feel your exhaustion.”
“That’s so weird. I don’t know if I can ever get used to knowing we can feel each other like this,” I admit.
“You will. In time, it will become second nature.”
“I wish you could have been there next to me, when I woke,” I tell him.
“Did you miss me?” he asks with a cocky grin.
“Yes. I always miss you when you’re not with me,” I tell him.
“I always miss you,” he says, and I can’t hold back. I instantly attack him with a big hug. I can feel his instant joy. His arms wrap around me, caging me in his warm embrace.
“I don’t know what’s going on between us, but it’s getting to the point where I can’t be without you. Do you feel the same?” I ask him.
“Of course. Even more,” he says.
“I feel the need to be close to you. A part of me feels as if it’s going to jump out of my body and morph into yours.”
“That’d be your soul, wishing to tangle with mine, but it won’t.” I pull back and gaze up at him.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because mine will tangle with yours,” he enlightens.
“How?”
“Through fire, will our souls be consumed and forged as one,” he says.
“So, that’s what you’ve been doing? Feeding me your fire so that our souls can be joined?”
“Yes.”
“How much more will it take?” I ask.
“Depends on how much more your body can endure.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Can I die?” I worriedly ask.
“I will not allow it. Little by little, my sweet. I will burn your soul until you are mine.”
Any normal human would have trembled at such an inhuman statement, but I challenged it. I welcomed it, because I am not normal. The day Austin had walked into my life, any ounce of a normal human life I would have had, vanished. My human life is long dead, buried. Never to be resurrected. Never to be remembered. Austin is my life now. Austin is my future. He is my end.
“Burn away blue eyes. Make me yours,” I tell him. He pulls my head to rest against his chest, while resting his chin on top of my head. He holds me tightly, almost as strongly as I’m holding him.
“Soon, my sweet. Soon,” he promises.
I glance over his arm, right at the exact moment Van and Cole walk on by. My eyes instantly meet hers. I can see that Cole is staring, but my eyes never leave Van.
She shows no emotion as she stares, proving that she is still upset. Her eyes suddenly gaze up and her emotionless face turns cold. I pull apart from Austin, to see t
hem glaring at one another.
I release my hold of the blue-eyed boy and move towards Van, but a hand grips my arm, pulling me back, stopping me. I gaze up at the boy before me.
“Don’t,” he commands. I’m taken aback by his action.
“What? Austin... let me go. I need to talk to Van. I’m going to talk to her,” I firmly tell him.
“Somethings not right. I can feel it. Leave her be,” he says.
“What are you talking about? I can talk to her if I want. Her and I had an argument yesterday. I need to apologize to her, so I’m going to,” I say.
“I’m trying to warn you,” he tells me.
“And like before, I’m refusing to listen. I’ll deal with the consequences, Austin. Just let me go. I’ll be fine.”
“I truly hope you can deal. Consequences result in actions and anyone who hurts my mate, will see such actions.” I gaze hard into those ice cold, blue eyes and I wonder if mine look anywhere as serious as his.
“Are you threatening my friend?” I ask.
He says nothing, as he continues to gaze at me.
“Let go of my arm. That’s the last time I’m going to tell you,” I firmly demand. His lets up on his grip and releases me.
I step back as his burning gaze is still fixed on me. I turn around, walking away and then glance back at him. He’s still staring, watching me. I turn, making my way towards Van. She is standing next to her locker, beside Cole.
I stop right behind her. Cole glances up at me from in front of her, with happy eyes.
“Van. Can we talk? Please?” I ask her.
She turns around, crossing her arms. She’s hurt, upset. It’s written all over her face.
“What?” she dryly asks. I glance at Cole.
“Cole. Can you give us a moment?” Speaking to him floods me with anxiety. My fists clench in an attempt to distract me from the internal pain of being near him.
Before he speaks, Van interrupts,
“He can stay. If you’re here to apologize, he deserves an apology too.” My eyes instantly glaze over with threatening tears. There’s no way in Hell, I’m apologizing to him.
“Van... I would just like to speak to you. Can we please just speak in private? Please?” She takes a moment to consider.
“Fine. Cole. Give us a minute,” she tells him.
“But I want to stay. I think I deserve to after all our dear Emilia has put me through,” he fake whines.
“Cole! Just go. Let us talk. You’ll get your time,” she tells him again.
“Fine. Geeze. I’m going, but I will get my time, Emilia. You can’t ignore me forever.” He winks at me from behind Van and I want to vomit. He walks away and I never felt more relieved.
I get straight to the point.
“Van. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for snapping at you. For blowing up on you. I’m sorry for acting like a jerk and I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend. I understand you were only looking out for me. I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” I ramble.
“You were a jerk and you were shitty. Look Em. I’m just worried about you. I’m just afraid of losing you and maybe I’ve just felt a little jealous that new boy is stealing all your attention but when you go and take his side over mine, it hurts. It fucking hurts. I’ve been there for you way longer than he’s been here. I should come first. Not him. Just promise me he won’t come between us and we’ll be alright,” she says.
“Van...you’re not going to lose me. I’m your best friend. I’ll always be your best friend. I’m sorry for neglecting you. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I know it may be hard to understand, but I really truly care for Austin. I don’t expect you to get it or understand, but I really care for him. I also really care for you. I care for the both of you and I never want to lose what we have. You mean so much to me. I promise to be there for you for you for now on. No more sides,” I tell her.
“Fine,” she says.
“Fine. Can I get a hug?” I ask, half smiling. Van can’t stay mad at me forever. As hard as she’s trying not to smile, I see it. It’s forming. It’s pulling at the corner of her lips. Ahhh. There it is. The surrendering smile.
“I guess, but are you sure new guy won’t rip my head off? He’s staring me down like he wants to,” she says.
“Not funny Van.” I pull her in for a hug. Her hold is weak at first, but I only squeeze harder and then she follows. “I love you Van. I do,” I tell her.
“Love you too girl,” she repeats. We begin to pull away. “I’m gonna go find Cole. I’ll catch ya later,” she says, as we stand apart.
“Alright. Catch ya later,” I tell her. She smiles lightly before turning.
I watch her walk away, while two large arms slide around me, pulling me back against his warm body. His chin rests on my shoulder and those lips hover next to my ear.
“It’s not over, my sweet. Pain is coming,” he whispers. I hold on to the arms wrapped around my waist and rest my head back against him.
“I believe you, but it hasn’t happened yet,” I tell him.
“It will and when it does, I’ll be right here, where I belong, with you my sweet, sweet treat,” he promises.
“Thank you, Austin.” He leaves me one long, deep kiss on my neck.
“Anything for you, sweetness,” he whispers into my ear.
CHAPTER 16 - I NEED YOU
The day flies by as normal as a day can be spent, that is when that day is spent with an incredibly attractive, mysterious creature, such as the boy who has been glued to my hip all day. I’m not complaining though.
This pull or bond or whatever it is, has grown to be even stronger than each day before. Austin says, “our souls are fighting to be one,” and that’s exactly what it feels like. Like my soul is fighting, ready to rip out of my chest, just to join his. So, hence why we are glued together today.
He’s all I can think about. All I notice. I swear, I haven’t learned a damn thing all week in school, since he showed up. There’s no room for anything else in my mind, but him. He’s a virus and I am poisoned. There is no cure, no remedy. His scar is permanent, and he will be forever engraved into my heart, into my mind, into my body and into my soul.
I glance to my side and smile at the boy who sits next to me. His head turns and he smiles back. I sigh and feel him inside me. He wants me. He always wants me, but he especially wants me right now. He craves me. I crave him. Always will.
His desire is strong. His lust, insatiable. I feel it. It’s overwhelming. My chest expands rapidly from my heavy breathing. My cheeks become flushed. My core pulses. He eyes me deeply. He says nothing, but he doesn’t need to. I already know what he intends to say. He needs me and God, I need him too.
The bell rings. Austin wastes no time. He grabs my hand, pulling me quickly past the students in class and drags me out of the classroom. I follow him down the hall, through the crowd of students. He is walking fast. I’m struggling to keep up, as I dodge others.
“Bitch! Watch where you’re going!” yells a girl, before pushing me, after I accidentally bump into her.
The impact of the push causes me to lose my balance and fall back, yanking Austin’s arm. Before I hit the ground, he swings around, sweeping an arm around and catches me.
I gaze up at him in surprise. I see concern in those baby blue eyes for a split second, until they color over with the dark, menacing hue I’ve seen before. Shit...
His cheekbones protrude under his tightly clenched jaw. His nostrils flare and then those dark eyes flash up, over me. He stands me up, pushing me gently to his side. He says nothing as he slowly stalks towards the girl. I watch her coward back. I can see fear, written all over her trembling face. Gone is the confident bully and replaced is one terrified little girl.
I rush to hold him back, grabbing his arm and pulling, but by some unexplainable force, my feet go sliding backwards. I’m skating across the hallway. The rubber soles on my shoes, squeak against the tiles. I can’t lift them. I can’t stop. I can’t do anythi
ng. I’ve lost all control.
My back hits the lockers with a small thud. I am pinned. Immobile and this time, literally paralyzed.
My panicked eyes find Austin. He has the girl held up high, by her throat, against the lockers, with one hand. Her feet dangle, loudly hitting the metal with frantic kicks. Her hands struggle to remove his firm grip. All eyes are on the two. No one sees me. No one even notices that I’m being pinned by some magical force.
I attempt to scream for him to stop, but my voice is muted. I try to speak again but am silenced. I can’t speak, can’t move. Austin has complete control and I am just his puppet.
Crowds surround him and the girl. Everyone is yelling and screaming and begging him to let her go, but he doesn’t let up. His grip only grows tighter. The visible, protruding veins in his arm and neck grow thicker as he squeezes harder. He is going to kill her. No... Austin. No... “No! Please no! Austin!” I try to scream inside my mind. I try to make him feel me. “Feel my emotions Austin! Feel me! Stop!”
Tears are the only thing my body can produce. They gush down my face in uncontrollable streams. “Please Austin. Stop,” I try one time.
His head slightly tilts to his side. He feels me. He drops the girl, her body hitting the floor with a hard thump. Kids rush and kneel to check on her. The dark eyed boy turns and stalks towards me with an evil grin I’ve never seen before. I am frightened, truly frightened. This is not a face I recognize. This is not a face I know. This is… evil. Austin was right. This is the face of evil. He is evil.
He reaches me and I can’t look away, even with all that’s going on in the background and around us, I can’t stare away. Is he holding my gaze, or am I?
He places one hand against my cheek and my eyes close and my body instantly relaxes. I inhale deeply, catching my breath and exhaling shakily. He cups my cheeks, wiping away my tears with his thumbs, then leans in to whisper into my ear,
“You cannot control me forever, my sweet. I’ve been patient. I’ve been kind to your wishes, but in the end, I am what I am, and I take what I want. Including those who hurt my beloved.” My eyes open at his statement. I am no longer relaxed. My rapidly beating heart can prove that.
THE MONSTER INSIDE ME: The Immortal Chronicles: Book One Page 13
