I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, my breath sticking in my lungs. To my absolute horror, tears filled my eyes and burned the back of my throat.
“You weren’t there when I woke up,” I whispered.
His head snapped up, and his face pinched at the sight of my tears. He started to get up to move toward me but stopped himself. “How could I?” His voice was hollow. “After what I did, how could I stay?”
“How could you not?”
He frowned. “Aella, you shouldn’t be here right now.”
My mouth popped open, then shut again. I wiped the stupid tears off my face with my forearm. I was not a crier. “Why not?”
“Because I hurt you. I almost…” His head fell into his hands. “Oh god… I don’t know what I would have done if you…” he shuddered violently, unable to say the words.
“I’m fine, Wilder. I’m right here.”
“You should go home. I can’t be around you anymore.”
My jaw clenched, my teeth grinding together. “Why? Why can’t you be around me?”
He stood, dropping his hands and meeting my eyes for the first time since I got here. They were blessedly blue again. “Because I’m not ever going to put you in danger like that again. Because I hate myself for letting it happen the first time. Because I don’t even know what I am anymore. All I know is that I have to keep you safe, even if that means I have to stay away.”
I took a step toward him. He took one back.
“I can help you.” I would help him. Whether he liked it or not, he wasn’t getting rid of me. “We can figure things out together.”
His jaw flexed. “Don’t”
I sighed. “I know that you’re scared, and I won’t pretend like I have all the answers. You’re more than a lycan. I know that much. But that doesn’t matter to me. You did nothing wrong.”
His eyes flashed, and I shuddered as silver ate away at blue. “This doesn’t matter to you?” He opened his mouth, showing off a pair of elongated vampire fangs. “If you hadn’t woken up today, do you think your pack would say I did nothing wrong? Do you think I would be able to live with myself? We got lucky, Aella. I can’t risk that happening again.”
“You were dying,” I argued. “You couldn’t control it.”
“That’s the point! I had no control. None. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I was killing you, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself.” His hands started to tremble. “You have no clue what that’s like. Even now, how can I trust myself?”
“Are you thirsty right now?” I asked as calmly as I could – even though I felt like ripping my hair out.
He groaned and stared up at the ceiling. “That’s beside the point.”
“No, it’s not. Look, I know that you’re scared, but you’re still you. You’re still funny, and protective, and loyal to a fault. Nothing could change the fact that you risked your life for mine when I was being reckless.” I took a shuddering breath – almost unable to believe what I was about to confess. “I trust you enough for the both of us.”
He ran a hand through his dark hair. “You shouldn’t.”
It seemed no matter what I said, Wilder would refuse my help.
My heart jackhammered in my chest as panic started to set in. What if I really couldn’t get him to come back to the pack? What if he was serious about staying away from me?
My pack needed my help. I couldn’t abandon them now, so close to what was gearing up to be an epic battle. And yet, Wilder needed me too – whether he would admit it or not.
For the first time in my life, my heart was torn. Leave Wilder and risk never seeing him again, or stay and give up the life I loved?
I stared at him – this man destined to be mine. His eyes had tired circles underneath. He was in his same wrinkled outfit from the day before. His hands still trembled at his sides.
My heart hurt for him. This was all so new, and he most certainly wasn’t having an easy time of it. Yet, since the day I’d met him he’d stuck by my side. Even while I did my best to push him away, he’d stayed. He’d risked his life for me. He’d followed me on this mission no questions asked. And I knew in my heart that if fate had truly paired his soul with mine, he wouldn’t be able to leave my people unprotected for long.
Wilder had never abandoned me. I wouldn’t abandon him now.
Crossing the room, I sat on the edge of the creaky old bed and leaned back on my palms. “Fine,”
His mouth fell open. “What are you doing?”
I shrugged. “Well, if you’re not coming with us, then I’m staying with you. So, what’s the plan?”
“What?” He sputtered. “But what about the rogue? What about your pack? Seraphim said he was taking you back home.”
I glared at him. “First of all, Seraphim doesn’t take me anywhere. I’m a big girl. I can escort myself. And second,” I flashed him my most wicked grin. “We’re mates. Remember?”
His face turned guttural. I suppose I’d just given him the shock of a lifetime. “You… you’re accepting the bond?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m accepting that I care about you – a lot. I’m still working out the rest.”
He shook his head, pacing to the door. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides as he cast sidelong glances my way.
“Why now?” he demanded.
“Well, I don’t know, Wilder. Why do you think?” I cleared the gravel from my throat. “You were dying right in my hands. You were dying and I – it killed me to think of a world without you in it. It’s funny, really. You’ve been in my life for such a short time, but now that you’re here, I can’t imagine it without you. I can’t imagine how I was ever content before you.
“So, if you refuse to come home with us, then I guess we’d better make another plan because I’m not leaving without you.”
His chest rose and fell in short breaths. That little crinkle between his eyebrows was prominent. And when I met his eyes, they were glassy.
My own heart drummed in my chest. I couldn’t believe I’d said all that out loud.
“I wish I could kiss you right now.”
“You can,” I argued. God, I wished he would kiss me.
But he held firm. “No. I have to learn to trust myself again. Until then, we shouldn’t get too close.”
I wanted to pout, but at the same time, this was good. He wasn’t leaving me or refusing to let me stay.
“I’ll go back to the pack with you, but I think it’s best if I stay away from everyone for now.”
I nodded my head, eager to meet his requests if it meant he was coming with me.
“We have a cabin just off pack lands. We can set you up there.”
He nodded, thinking it over, and then he winced. “Seraphim won’t like it.”
I wasn’t sure what had been said between my friend and my mate, but a lot had to be mended there.
“Seraphim will come around. If it makes you feel any better, he’s pretty mad at me too right now.”
He looked at me with a worried expression. “It doesn’t.”
I shrugged and reached for the phone to dial Tara to come pick us up in the rental car. No way was I about to make that trek across town again right now.
“Let’s go home.”
25
Aella
Soft, gentle fingers brushed my hair back from my face. A low growl made my eyes flutter, my brain stirring to consciousness as I tried to remember where I was. The fingers faded. A door slammed.
“Wake up, buttercup!”
I stared around at the empty van and peered up at Tara as she stared down at me from the side door. She reached out, gently pulling me out of the car and holding me steady until I found use of my legs again.
The drive home had been unbearably quiet as Tara drove – our group of hunters now beaten and weathered after the last two days events. Seraphim had kept his distance – choosing the passenger seat up front while Jamie and I took the middle row and Wilder ended up squi
shed in the back. Even with the entire row to himself, his legs were cramped, but he never said anything. None of us did.
Eventually, Tara switched on the radio, letting the low hum of music fill the void until the stations blurred to static as we crossed county lines. As the van rattled, I’d dozed in my seat, my head falling against the cool window.
“Oh, Aella!” My mother’s worried voice filled my ears just a second before I was pressed into her warm embrace. She held me like I was a child again, squeezing tight, tucking my head under her chin as she breathed me in.
“I’m okay, mom. Just tired.” Yeah… That walk across town really hadn’t done me any favors.
She pulled back and stared at me, her bottom lip sucking into her mouth. The hairs on my arms started to rise. That look on her face – while worry for me was evident there – I had the feeling this was about more than that.
“What’s going on?” I demanded.
Tara was at my side in an instant, her warrior’s face on.
“Luke Black is here.”
My mind pinwheeled. Maybe I was still trying to wake up, but I couldn’t understand why my mother’s voice would shake when she said that. Luke Black, the vampire King, was our ally. If he was here, then…
Wait. Luke Black is here. Not the vampires. Not the vampire king and queen. Just…
A tall shadow loomed over my mother’s shoulder before she released me and stepped away. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
I’d lived near the vampire couple for weeks, and I’d certainly never seen Luke in this state. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. Somehow, even though I knew it wasn’t possible, he looked gaunt. Was he sick? Could vampires even get sick?
His voice was a rasp – a hollow imitation of the man he was just weeks ago. “Please help me.”
Instinct vanished. In this moment, we weren’t vampire and lycan. In this moment, I was standing before a broken man – a friend.
I reached out, gripping his forearm. “What’s happened?” I glanced around, searching for the tall brunette that was his other half. “Where’s Ryn?”
He slumped forward, nearly falling into my arms. Fortunately, he righted himself, because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough at the moment to support his body weight.
“They took her. The clave. They…” he choked on the last word.
My ears started to ring – a high-pitched wail that deafened everyone and everything else. Ryn… Ryn wasn’t like any vampire I’d ever known. She was still human in so many ways. She’d been thrown into this world so abruptly, and she was strong enough to stand beside Luke and help him fix it. She was our hope in this twisted, messed-up feud.
If the clave had her… If they killed her… We would lose Luke as well. Bonded vampire’s life forces were connected in a way that would never be easy for me to understand, but I knew that without one, the other would perish soon after.
This could mean the war.
My eyes snapped to the alpha. My mother’s eyes were sharp again, her back ramrod straight as we regarded each other. “We have to get her back.”
“You need to rest. You haven’t fully recovered yet and you’re in no shape to spearhead another rescue mission.”
“We don’t have time for me to rest. If William and Loraine have Ryn, then they are holding our fate in their hands. We have to move today. Now.”
“Aella, she’s right. You’re not strong enough,” Tara cautioned.
“That’s not your call to make,” I snapped.
Tara winced but kept her mouth shut. She could take it out on me in the sparring ring some other day.
“You’re not going,” Alpha Kay’s voice was final. She turned her attention to Luke, and her face softened just slightly. “I won’t risk my daughter. Not even for this.”
He nodded, his jaw flexing. “Then I go alone. I won’t leave Ryn with them for one more day. The thing’s they’ll do to her…” He shuddered.
“Mom,” I growled, stepping forward to meet her. We were the same height and stature. She was my match in every way. An alpha wolf and protector. Her alpha influence was hardly ever used against anyone. That’s just not how she rolled. But I was sure that she was trying to use it against me now, and that set my teeth grinding.
My wolf rose to meet hers, shining through my eyes. Alpha’s daughter. Pack huntress. Next in line. For this, I would challenge her if I had to.
“I love you. I hear your heart. But I am going. I’m the closest thing to an assassin this pack has ever seen. I have skill beyond my strength.”
Her eyes flashed with pain, hurt, anger. “You’re disobeying an alpha order.”
I grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Sometimes, rules are meant to be broken. You taught me to be strong, to fear little, and to keep hope alive. Ryn and Luke are our hope. Without them, what will our world become? Who will I be if I don’t fight today?”
Her eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them fall. Crying wasn’t exactly a Crowe family strong suit.
“I am proud to be your mother.” She squeezed my hand back. “But Aella, you’re not the only assassin.”
For a moment, I was confused. I was the only pack huntress. My team were all skilled in their own ways but tracking and killing were my forte.
“Arden,” Luke growled.
Ah. A wicked smile stretched across my face. Arden Mason was a thorn in my side. The assassin that had ended Ryn’s mortal life. And now, even though I hated to admit it – we could use him. But could he be trusted?
In the weeks that we’d held Arden captive, it’d become clear that the vampire was more monster than man. His job wasn’t just a calling card. It was his life. If we unchained the beast, he very well might take up his mission where he left off. We still hadn’t found the sister William held captive. There was no way to be certain that Arden would stay on our side.
As if reading my thoughts, Luke grunted. “We don’t have much choice.”
I turned to Tara, who was already tightening her laces. “Get the others back here. We leave in an hour.”
She nodded and moved to step away.
“Oh, and Tara,” I called after her. “Can you find me a burger somewhere?”
Without turning to face me, she flipped me the bird and disappeared into the pack house. But I knew my friend would come through. She always did.
26
Ryn
I sat in a puddle of my own dried blood. Which meant it must have been some time since Loraine’s last torture session. And yet again, I'd passed out from the pain or blood loss. Maybe both.
Looking down, I examined my body for any missing fingers or toes. The carvings she'd branded into my skin were long gone, thanks to my rapid healing ability, but with each ounce of blood lost came the weakening of those powers. Pretty soon I'd be little more than a big bloody mess.
I gripped my head with a groan as the room started to spin. How long had I been out this time?
The chain in the corner jingled again, and my eyes popped open. The wolf. Even when Loraine was gone, I couldn't relax. The white wolf had disappeared back into her shadows as my torture had gone on and on. I'd been here at least three days, and I hadn't seen a glimpse of her again since that first time. But she was always watching. I could feel her eyes eating up every surface of my skin, every movement and breath. She was calculative. Wild. Maybe a little unhinged. But I could see how a place like this could do that to someone.
I'd learned in that first day exactly where her chain ended. It gave me a small corner of the damp room, right near the door. I just couldn't pass out and fall into her reach.
The chain scraped again, moving across the cold stones. They sounded dreadfully heavy.
"Your hair," a small, tentative voice said from the wolf's corner.
I nearly jumped out of my skin. I knew she could shift. I just hadn't expected her to in this environment. And that voice... Soft and unassuming. Nothing at all like I'd expected.
It was then that her words caught up
to me.
They’d removed the metal binding my wrists and ankles at some point. I was too weak to fight them now anyway. So, I was able to reach up and catch a piece of jagged hair between my fingers. I didn't know whether to scream or sob. That bitch... Loraine had sheered my hair with her knife. I could feel how patchy it was. Some of it came down to my chin, while other chunks had been chopped all the way up to my scalp. I probably looked like a burn victim.
“Did she use a freaking blowtorch?” I winced.
My throat scraped over the words. I was getting dangerously thirsty. Even just a sip of water to wet my mouth would be amazing.
One week... One week of this torture and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last. Loraine put me through some of the most excruciating pain I’d ever experienced - next to dying and being reborn. Oh, and having my throat slit open by Arden Mason yet again. And being shot.
Okay, I’d been through a lot recently. I’d learned what true pain felt like. But this was different. It was endless. Constant.
I was beyond thankful for this moment of reprieve from her wicked hands and cruel smiles.
“She calls you queen,” the small voice rasped.
I rolled my eyes and sat back against the cold stone. My neck ached from the way I’d passed out.
“She’s taunting me. She’s taken that position for herself - even though it doesn’t belong to her. She’ll do everything she can to keep me away. Including torturing innocent people underground.” My jaw clenched. “I think she’s hoping to build an army. She and William will try to use you as a weapon against anyone who threatens them.”
A low, rumbling growl that made the hairs on my arms stand straight up. The voice was the perfect disguise to make you forget what was really underneath. I’d never seen anything like that wolf before. Rabid. Powerful. Undeniably fast. If a creature like that got ahold of any of us, we’d be goners.
Marked By A Rogue: The Rogue Hybrid Book Three Page 12
